When Ino-pig and I were younger and inseparable, we used to go swimming at least twice a month. We pretended to be mermaids. Ninja mermaids, of course, but mermaids nonetheless.
We used to have competitions to see who could hold their head underwater the longest. At first, we each lasted about five seconds before our tiny lungs got the better of us and would force us to propel ourselves into the comforting oxygen of the surface-world.
As we continued to compete, our lungs could hold out for longer and longer. Our lungs got used to the stifling burn of oxygen-deprivation. But eventually, every single time, the strain would become too much and our bodies would force our heads up to the surface.
The relief of resurfacing was always immediate and overwhelming. It left us speechless for a good minute as we gasped greedily at the air, trying to make up for lost time. And our bodies were always begging us to stay where there was air, not to risk the burn again.
This works as a perfect comparison to the first time I found Lee-san waiting for me on my stoop. Like I had just resurfaced after a long time underwater.
It felt so unbelievably good that it left me speechless, my voice stolen from me as I gasped for something to say. I could see Lee-san smile at me and could hear his excitement as he sent me a cheerful ohayo, but I could not move to return his enthusiasm. No matter how many breaths I had counted in my two months of loneliness, this was the first time that I felt like I could really breathe.
Seeing my lack of response, Lee-san backed down and frowned thoughtfully. Slowly, he stuck his hand in my face and snapped, causing me to jump and yelp. I started to fall backwards, but Lee-san was quicker than gravity. He skipped forward and grabbed me by my upper arms, pulling me easily into a standing position.
"Eh, gomen, Sakura-san," my green-clad friend said, blushing slightly as he removed his hands from my bare skin. "I didn't mean to scare you."
I looked at him without smiling and said, "Don't worry about it. I was spacing out."
He smiled warmly for a moment, and then his body tensed up in a sudden, jerky movement. "Sakura-san," he said quietly, digging through his shuriken holster, "I wanted to know if you would—ahem—like to take a…walk with me?"
Finally, he found what he had been searching for, and he pulled out a crisp white daisy. He held it in the space between us, tension rolling off of him.
I stared at the flower, distracted by the odd warmth bubbling just beneath my skin. It was completely foreign to the wild heat of fury I was so accustomed to.
I finally reminded myself to drag my gaze back up to Lee-san's wide, anxious eyes. The poor guy looked like he had just asked for a lap-dance by how deep his blush was, and by how keen he was on avoiding my eyes.
For the first time in two months, my smile was unforced.
"Sure, Lee-san. Why not?" I reached forward and took the inoffensive little flower from him, one of my fingers just barely grazing the skin of his thumb. He blushed and backed away again, as if the space between us was ideal to our health.
He still grinned, though. "I'm so glad," he said placidly, looking over me with his admiring eyes. "I haven't seen you in so long. No one has."
I felt an instant pang of guilt at his words, and my smile fell from my lips like a ton of bricks. I replaced it in an instant, but it was shallow and unwilling. "Yeah, Lee-san. It's good to see you, too," I said, pretending to be overly-cheerful. I fiddled with the flower in my hands, and then looked back up at him. "Just let me go put this in a vase." A vase for a daisy? Good God, woman…
I backed into the house, standing to one side so he could get through. It took him a few heartbeats too long for him to realize what I was doing, and he nearly tripped all over himself when he finally got the idea. Somehow the poor guy made it inside without injury, though it was probably just luck.
I almost laughed as he stood there, gaping that the well-kept house. His gaze drifted over every little knick-knack and trinket as if it were a treasure. I could see a small, appreciative smile on his face when his eyes drifted to the family photos.
"You have a beautiful home, Sakura-san," he said, his adoring eyes finally finding their way back into mine.
A strange, warm tingle ran up my spine as I replied, "Arigato, Lee-san. Wait here."
He saluted me as I walked briskly up the stairs. Once in my room, out of Lee-san's comfortable, warm presence, the icy feeling of loneliness starting to dig back into my spine.
What are you getting excited about? My second voice demanded bitterly. It's just Lee-san.
My room was so dark. I cannot remember why I'd invested in those heavy curtains after fixing my window. They made everything so dark and cold.
Like me.
I hurried to nestle this daisy in the others in the vase my mother had insisted on providing me with. As I moved, I noticed my poor abused doll.
I remember staring at it, half of me wanting to jump on it, crying and apologizing, while the other half wanted to walk away on the spot. The latter won, causing me to carelessly throw the daisy's stem into the vase, turning around as soon as the deed was done. I hurried away from the fluffy mess on the floor, back to the bright light of my living room. Back to the warm aura of Lee-san's presence.
Again, the strange warmth built up in my chest as I walked closer to him. I tired to disregard it, but it was hard to ignore. It was much too pleasant. He was talking to Kaa-san, which bothered me a little bit. She was so sneaky.
"Ano, Lee-san? I'm ready to go."
He looked over at me and grinned.
"Great!" he said, his body literally quivering with anticipation. He turned back to my mother and gave a respectful bow. "Sayonara, Haruno-sama," he said in his most professional voice.
"Ja na, Lee-kun," Kaa-san replied. The suffix made me groan inwardly. C'mon, Kaa-san. That's Lee-san. She sent me a meaningful look as she made her way back to her lair—the kitchen—and as Lee-san walked to the front door. I followed the latter and altogether ignored the former.
"Learned any new forbidden moves recently?"
Lee-san looked back at me, seemingly relieved by the teasing edge to my voice. The entire day, every time I said anything mildly pleasant, he would act as if I had just finished a day of rehab or something. It was sweet how worried he'd obviously been for my mental and emotional health all this time, but still…it was a little creepy.
"No, no, not yet. Gai-sensei doesn't want to push our luck."
I love how he says 'our.'
"Neh, Sakura-san…I heard you were Hokage-sama's apprentice now. How is that going for you?"
I stretched my arms exaggeratedly and let out a moan. "It's hell on my body, but I'm seeing a long of improvement on my fieldwork."
He grinned, strangely proud of my improvement, as if it somehow affected him personally. It was amusing in a strange sort of way. I found myself actually giggling at him behind my hand. It was hard to resist the bubbly warmth under my skin when I was so unbelievably at ease. It felt like there was nothing in the world but me, Lee-san, and the pavement beneath our feet. That was my world that day. There was no traitor, no lost love, no darkness, and no pain. No, it was warm, bright, relaxed, and green. Very green. We went through gardens and nurseries, trying to surround ourselves with the pleasant aromas of beauty and calm. It worked well to clear my head of all the bad things in the world. And of course, it worked to fill my head with good things…like how Lee-san was the definition of the word gentleman. He always made sure to hold doors open for me when we went into shops, and when we were walking on the sidewalk, he always made sure to walk on the street side. And he never touched me after my little half-fall. That was nice of him. Unassuming Lee-san. He knew it wasn't a date, and I silently thanked Kami-sama for his intuitiveness. It would have been too much for me if he had taken my hand or something.
We were in the park by the time we realized that it was close to dark. In the distance, I could hear the gentle strumming of someone's acoustic guitar. I'm not sure what the song was—it was too faint to tell—but it fit well in the dimming light. It was gloomy, but dripping with hope. In retrospect, it reminds me of myself that day.
I looked at Lee-san, awed by how natural he looked in the woodsy background. The setting sun glinted off his face in a strange, dreamy way that sent shivers up and down my spine. What the hell was going on with me?!
Lee-san glared balefully up at the sky as he said, "I should probably take you home now. It's getting late."
Realizing that I had been staring, I followed his gaze to the color-changing sky. You could already see a pale outline of the moon. It was just a crescent, and I remember wondering if it was waning or waxing. "Yeah, I guess so. It hardly seems like it's been a whole day." I saw him nod out of the corner of my eye. "I can't believe you actually went an entire day without training. You, the Rock Lee?"
He chuckled and once again gave me that relieved smile that was reserved only for me. "About that, Sakura-san…I was done training long before I came and picked you up."
I blinked at him. "My gawd, Lee, how early do you get up?"
He laughed easily but made no move to reply, which made me suspect that it was much earlier than I would ever wake up. He started walking into the opposite direction, causing me to fumble after him, rudely removed from my reverie. Once I was by his side, he started walking a little slower, as if to drag out our remaining minutes. I did not think to appreciate the gesture—I didn't know how hard it would be to say goodbye yet.
Needless to say, it knocked the breath out of me when Lee-san left me on my doorstep, turning away from me so easily. All I could think off was another black-haired, dark-eyed boy walking away from me just as easily, and the comparison left me gasping for air for the second time that day. It took me all of my willpower not to just run after him to retrieve the warmth, the comfort.
Everything was so cold when I walked into my room. And, I noticed with despair, there was not nearly enough green for my preferences.
There. Slightly happier than the last few chappies, but of course i had to ruin it with the end. Tee-hee.
Eh, what sucks about this fic is that i have several conversations that i have already written, but they can't happen until Lee and Sakura's relationship is a bit more developed. Which means i have to deal with this awkward healing phase for a while longer...ech.
Wish me luck. I need it.
Miyazaki A2