Uh, be warned, this chappy isn't really going anywhere. I needed it to get to the next one i want to write. A transition chappy, that's what this is.
I am a person who thrives off of routine and consistency. As long as the sky is blue and the grass is green, I will find a way to be content. Change is not a fun thing for me, and I tend to be terribly stubborn on that front. My bedroom has always been painted the same color, I've never once thought to box away my multitude of stuffed animals, and of course, I like to wear similar outfits everyday.
When things are taken away, it's always mildly catastrophic. I would go into the whole 'I can't believe she took my pacifier away' rant, but I'm sure you're not interested. God knows I'm not interested.
I think my love of constancy played a major role in why it hurt so badly to lose Sasuke-kun. After all, he was the biggest constant in my life, the man I was sure I was going to marry and grow old with. I mean, what is love if not the desire to see the same face and hear the same voice every day for the rest of your life? And Sasuke-kun was that face for me. Losing that sort of bond is nothing short of devastating.
So, without him to focus all of my energy on, I found a new routine, one that I'm sure you realize was much more self-destructive than chasing a love that was likely never to be returned. No, this one would probably cause me to go literally insane if I wasn't stopped. That, and I would probably never be able to stand up straight again.
It was strange, then, to be goaded into a new routine with Lee-san. Every time we said goodbye at the end of a Saturday, I was sure that I was back to being alone in the world. For some reason, I couldn't process the idea that I was worth the effort and time…let alone the adoration that brightened his dark eyes whenever he looked at me.
His obvious affection for me bothered me a bit in the beginning. I didn't want it from him—after all, he was the wrong dark-haired boy. He was the Genius of Hard Work, not the Genius of the Uchiha that I pined for. I appreciated Lee-san so much, and I wished there was something I could do to repay his kindness and patience…but he wasn't the one I wanted.
But Lee-san seemed to accept that. He knew that my heart didn't rest with him, and he took my disinterest in stride. He never did anything that would make me uncomfortable, never once tried to blur the lines of our relationship. No, my Lee-san was much too much of a gentleman. He was happy just to be near me, to know that he was the only person who could make me smile when I was so obviously in pain.
Despite both of our best intentions, though, our relationship was starting to change. I didn't know what was happening, but I knew it felt good. The weekdays seemed to pass more quickly, as if time was speeding up for my sake. And that was how I wanted it. For some strange reason, my life seemed centered around the clock and the calendar. My body was constantly tensed and wound up, waiting for the hour hand to hit that 8. Then and only then would my body relax. I figured it was only because of the warmth that I so desperately required, but in the back of my mind, I knew it was more than that, somehow…
"Sakura-san?"
I jolted, ridiculously surprised by his gentle voice. My chopsticks plummeted into my vegetable ramen, splashing me just a little. Shaking my head, I looked up to meet Lee-san's amused eyes.
"Zoned out again?" he teased, quickly poking me in the middle of my wide forehead from across the table.
I smiled wryly. "Just a little."
"A little? You jumped up a foot in the air. Were you even conscious?"
I kicked him in the shin. He didn't even wince. I'm not sure if he even felt it…or if he did, he was intent on treating me like a wuss.
"Just eat your curry, dobe."
The last word that usually belonged to my dark-eyed teammate sent a stab of pain through my chest, only warded off by the warmth that radiated off of Lee-san. That inner sunshine of his seemed to burrow into the hole in my chest, keeping me from bleeding.
This was going to hurt a lot when Lee-san said goodbye tonight. "Your words wound me, Sakura-san," Lee-san whined jokingly, doing as I commanded by taking a bite of his masochistically-hot food.
You and me both, dude.
We sat in silence for a while, each of us lost in our own little worlds. I found myself watching him eat rather than focusing on my own lunch. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes were all watery, and I couldn't help but wonder how he could keep eating that stuff without spontaneously combusting. I remember my stomach doing a few somersaults at the idea of all those spices in one place. I purposefully returned my attention of my own food, rather than get caught staring.
Lee-san and I were regulars at this little diner, showing up every Saturday at exactly a quarter past noon, always sitting at the same little booth in the far corner of the building. Lee-san and I are kindred spirits when it comes to the consistency complex. The diner was owned by an elderly couple, who seemed old enough to have babysat my grandparents. They were such sweeties, despite the age, always insisting that we refer to them as Obachan and Ojisan. They called Lee-san and I by our first names, yet deciding to use the 'chan' honorific for both of us, since they were so freaking old. Lee-san nearly had a heart attack thee first time Obachan called him Lee-chan. My ramen flew out of my nose at that point. I think he thought that he'd been mistaken for a female, and he was mildly traumatized for the duration of the meal.
As nice as the little old couple was, they were painfully old-fashioned. For some reason, they honestly could not fathom that a boy and a girl could spend so much time together on such a regular basis without there being some romantic undercurrent to their relationship. I really don't know how many times Ojisan mentioned catering for our wedding. Though I'm sure that Lee-san liked the idea way deep down, outwardly he was as mortified by the suggestion as I was. (Though I swear he winked at Ojisan.)
But the food was too good and the owners were too nice for some occasional awkwardness to keep us from coming back.
As soon as Lee-san popped the last bite of his ludicrously-spicy curry into his mouth, I started to get a little antsy. I always finished eating before him—since he chose to savor each and every bite—and I was not the sort of person who could sit around and talk after a meal. I had to move around or I'd go crazy.
Well, crazier.
Remind me why I keep you around…
Lee-san quickly flitted away to the front to pay, leaving me to tip. That was always the arrangement, though neither of us had ever acknowledged it out loud.
I caught up with Lee-san easily as he fast-walked out of the diner. He seemed more cheerful than usual today, which by association made me just a bit happier. I still am not completely sure why he was so chipper—I couldn't manage to get a straight answer out of him if my life depended on it that day.
Though, at one point, he mentioned that it was getting colder. For some odd reason that I couldn't even begin to guess, the man who was made out of sunshine liked it when it was cold. I tried to get more out of him, but he responded with a question.
"How long has it been since the Chunin Exams?"
I don't remember having a ready reply. Lee-san…Lee-san never, ever mentioned the Chunin Exams.
"About five months, don't you think?" he answered his own question.
"What does it matter?" I asked quietly, hoping that he wouldn't lose his good mood because of this touchy subject.
"Well, how often do the Chunin Exams come around, Sakura-san?"
"Eh…oh." My eyes widened. "It's coming soon then."
He immediately stopped walking, and turned to face me. "We've got to do our best, Sakura-san. So, I think that it would be best if, maybe, we trained a bit more…what do you think?"
I looked at him with an incredulous expression. "About what?"
He laughed, some of the tension dissolving. "Training with me. Maybe I could help out your taijutsu?"
"Because I simply suck at taijutsu."
He smiled but made no move to deny my statement. "So, what do you think?"
I touched my chin as if to think, causing Lee-san to lose his smile, replacing it with a worried line. Finally, when I decided that I'd made him question his self-worth for long enough, I shrugged. "Okay, sure. But you have promise not to go easy on me. I really want to test my skills against someone other than Tsunade-sensei and Shizune-senpai."
Lee-san smiled that smile that only I was allowed to see, and then stuck out his arm, bent like he was going to ask for an arm wrestling competition.
"Okay, then. I'll give it my all."
I knew that he would only give me about half of his all since he had neglected to give me his 'nice guy' pose, but that was alright with me. I knew it would still be a hell of a challenge to keep up with even that much of him. Knowing this, I took his hand and grinned at him. The deal was set.
"Let's go earn those itchy flak jackets, Lee-san," I said, still gripping his bandaged hand.
He grinned wickedly. "Let's."
...I think i just wrote a...happy chapter.
AH!! GAWD IS DEAD! SOMEONE SAVE US!
There is no saving you poor, pathetic souls. So go ahead and bask in the lightheartedness. i think the worst is behind us.
Maybe.
Miyazaki A2