It was strange. For some reason, as I lied on my bedroom floor and reread Lee-kun's letter for perhaps the millionth time, I suddenly didn't feel like crying anymore. It just felt wrong. I mean, why should I be crying? He wasn't gone forever; he had every intention of coming home. After all, this was just a mission. And it wasn't as if I was completely cut off from him—I had the proof of that in my hands right now. It was exceedingly strange not to cry, but at the same time, it made sense. Besides, it would only hurt Lee-kun if he came home to red eyes and tear-tracks.

The idea that I could spare him some pain made me smile. I reread his letter one more time, just for the sake of the faint warmth bubbling around the hole in my chest. The last paragraph really stuck out to me this time. He wanted me to go spend time with my other friends. He wanted me to try and be happy. That was more than I'd gotten from anyone else, at least in words. At least Lee-kun made an attempt at telling me that he was worried—everyone else just sat by and waited for me to take initiative, thinking I was intuitive enough to know that they were concerned.

You should call Ino-pig, my second mind murmured, dissolving her mental walls. Just for Lee-kun's sake.

I figured that if I didn't reply, she'd have no reason to go away again, so I just nodded and walked over to the phone that hung next to my calendar. I dialed the number that I had once promised never to dial again, and waited.

"WHAT'S UP, FOREHEAD-GIRL?"

Spending time with Ino-pig is…tiring. Relatively pleasant and extremely fun, but tiring nonetheless. Unlike Lee-kun, Ino-pig liked to be constantly moving and doing things, whereas I would've been content to sit and talk. Oh, we talked…we talked while jogging to get to the One Day Only sale at Ino-pig's favorite store, and we talked across changing rooms—but can you really call that conversation? That being said, conversation with Ino-pig was rather limited. She liked to talk about a few things; those being boys, fashion, and more boys. It seemed that she had completely forgotten about Sasuke-kun in his months of prolonged absence. "Out of sight, out of mind," she had casually replied at one point when I asked her about it. I'd wanted to continue that conversation, to ask if she thought I was being silly by holding onto my love for Sasuke-kun, but she'd abruptly changed the subject to her latest crush, Shikamaru. She didn't give me a chance to bring the subject back to the boy that still lit up my own heart. No, Ino was just a bit too self-centered to be any help to me.

But…she was fun to be around…even if she did have huge misconceptions about my love life. As we parted ways on the road to my house, she made sure to wait until I was just within earshot to yell at the top of her lungs, "So is you bushy-brow boyfriend going to be home by your birthday?"

I replied with a swift toss of a soccer-ball-sized rock. I didn't look to see if it had hit anything, but I could hear her laughing at my temper, so obviously she was still alive.

I walked away in a huff, probably only managing to heighten her suspicions by being so defensive. What can I say? I can never win.

That was Thursday. On Saturday, I found myself screaming awake. Which was strange. Lately, my nightmare had been exclusive to weeknights. And even then, I'd been slightly immune to the nightmare—rather than screaming, I would just gasp into awareness. I hadn't screamed in weeks. I'd actually been proud of that fact; I thought I was healing.

Apparently, knowing that you won't get relief in the morning made the recurring nightmare even more terrible.

That's because yet another constant has been taken away.

What do you mean?

I mean, despite what you like to believe, you love that little weirdo.

No I don't! I love Sasuke-kun and ONLY Sasuke-kun!

So Lee-kun, Kaa-san, Tou-san, Naruto, Ino-pig, Tsunade-sensei, and Shizune-senpai mean nothing to you. They can all go to hell. You only have the capacity to love one person in the entire universe. Pathetic and cruel.

She then put her walls back up, leaving me to contemplate her words.

I trained a lot more than usual during Lee's absence. With and without Tsunade-sensei. Instead of going home at eleven when out morning taijutsu sessions were over, I would stay and keep on crushing those damn boulders until she returned at five for our evening medical ninjutsu classes. And then, when she left to go home at nine, I insisted on staying out in the training field until midnight. Sure, that meant that I got about five hours of sleep every night, but it kept my busy. Mind and body. I wasn't able to focus on anything but chakra in those weeks while I was alone, and that was how I liked it. It helped me to survive.

Well, that's a little bit of a lie. I have the ability to concentrate on more than one thing…like mail. Sometime in the middle of the week, every week, there would be a letter from my Lee-kun waiting for me, taped to my bedroom door. Despite my masochistic, self-imposed exhaustion, I still had the capacity to feel a sliver of excitement swell up in my chest, along with a wave of pleasure running through the rest of my body. I would always rip the envelope off my door and tear it open right then and there, not bothering to wait until I got into the safety and privacy of my own room. If there was a chance that I could feel warm, even just for a little while, I wanted it. Besides, my second self was so much more cheerful when reading a new letter.

His letters may as well have been love letters. Though at the beginning and end he always told me that the mission was going well, sometimes adding some amazing thing that one of his teammates had done to an enemy, the bulk of his messages consisted of him telling me that he missed me and worried for me. It was flattering—I'd never gotten love letters before. Sure, the sender was all wrong for me, but like they say, it's the thought that counts.

So basically, my life consisted of sleeping, eating, training, and reading. I must say, I was quite the interesting creature when left to fend for myself. But if anything can be said for my insane schedule, it helped me to survive. Helped me to keep my mind off of each passing second. And since I was refusing to concentrate on what time and day it was, it surprised me immensely when my mother asked oh-so-nonchalantly one morning, "Sakura, how long do you think it's been since Lee set off on that mission of his?"

It was at that very moment that I heard my second favorite sound in the world.

Ding-dong.

I jumped out of my seat and left my food where it was, knocking my chair over in my haste. I ran out of the kitchen, through the front room, wrenched open the front door…

And glomped the milkman.

My mother had given me a hard time about that one. And like the good little daughter I was, I promised not to glomp anyone until I was sure that it was the one I wanted to be glomping.

But of course, I didn't manage to keep my promise. The next time the doorbell rang, I lost control of my body again. This time, the one who ended up receiving my affections was a Girl Scout trying to sell us cookies. Needless to say, we weren't able to buy any. And this time, rather than giving me a lecture, Kaa-san bonked me on the head with a rolling pin. Surely now I would look before I leapt.

Wrong again. You're really bad at this game. No, it took me two more attempts to get it right—the third try was a Jehovah's Witness.

It really didn't occur to me that Lee-kun would be dead-tired when he came to meet me. I seriously hadn't expected him to come right over to my house after arriving in Konoha. I'd thought he would come to find me after reporting to Tsunade-sama and resting up a bit. It had never occurred to me that he thought my relief was more important that his physical health. So it surprised me to no end when he fell right over when I threw myself at him. I'd expect him to at least catch me.

But still, even though he was unconscious on my front stoop and I'd smacked my overly-large forehead on the pavement, I felt better than I had in months. If I was surviving while he was gone, now I was truly living.

...Uh, yeah. Any questions? I like this chap better than the last one, but not as much as the Christmas one. Oh well...i wish this was longer...sigh.

Love you all!
Miyazaki A2