A/N: DISCLAIMER: I don't own Mugglenet, or its many uses, if you don't know what mugglenet is it is a Harry potter website and you should definitely check it out, after reading this chapter (I don't own the Princess Bride, either.) Although I also don't own Hyper force my friend does and I have written an episode and starred in it so I can use it. For the record Hyper Force is a T.V. my friend is developing and hasn't aired yet.
Again thanks to James018 for his input, betaing and constantly trying to get me to finish.
The next day Voldemort had a massive hangover, which he got rid of with a spell he had learnt from a friend when he was in his fifth year of Hogwarts. He then contemplated about why magic could get rid of a hangover but it couldn't cure baldness.
During this contemplation Voldemort thought about many things, why were Muggles so obsessed with celebrities that some based their lives around them? What was so great about watching two grown men in underwear pretending to beat each other up? It was during this time of thinking he gave Lucius and Narcissa their punishment; this made him remember more about what happened yesterday. Eventually he remembered the website Mugglenet and that he wanted to explore it. He turned on his computer and, after typing, 'No. 6: Visit Mugglenet', he opened up the Internet and typed in the address of the Mugglenet website.
Immediately, Voldemort was intrigued by a link titled 'Wall Of Shame'. He clicked on it wondering if the brat was on it – this became 'No. 7: Read the Mugglenet Wall Of Shame'. The letters and e-mails some people had sent through were so ridiculously stupid, Voldemort had never laughed so hysterically in his life (though this could just have been because he had never laughed before). Voldemort added another item to his list – 'No. 8: Laugh hysterically at the Mugglenet Wall Of Shame' – and continued reading the wall of shame. He even called most of his Death Eaters to read it – they all laughed and Voldemort even broke a rib while laughing so hard. These events led to the next two additions of the list 'No. 9: Get your followers to laugh at the Mugglenet Wall Of Shame' and 'No. 10: Break a rib laughing so hard at the Mugglenet Wall Of Shame'. The list was fast growing.
He fixed his broken rib with a spell and then contemplated about why magic could mend a broken rib but it couldn't cure baldness. After much laughing Voldemort decided to see what was on the Wall Of Shame Special Edition. This proved to be even better than the original Wall Of Shame. Voldemort and the Death Eaters laughed so hard that Voldemort broke another rib – his next entry on his list was 'No. 11: Break another rib laughing so hard at the Wall Of Shame Special Edition'. To think that people would think that Harry and Hermione liked each other, especially after what happened at the Yule Ball! Voldemort had rarely seen the brats but even he, who had no idea what love felt like knew that Ron was in love with Hermione. Laughing at the Wall Of Shame took up a lot of Voldemort's time and made all of the Death Eaters happy, something that had not happened since their favorite comedy show, Hyper Force, had been taken of the air.
Eventually Voldemort thought it best to begin searching through the rest of the website. The first interesting thing he came across was called 'Caption Contest'. He clicked on this and while it was loading typed in 'No.12: Read the Mugglenet Caption Contest.' Instead of reading the newest Caption Contest he decided to read the top ten captions. The one that caught his attention was to a picture of Snape looking confused. The caption was as follows:
Snape: So… you're telling me that's it?
J.K. Rowling: Yup.
Snape: That's all?
J.K. Rowling: Mmhmm.
Snape: I don't even take a side?
J.K. Rowling: Nope.
Snape: So… you're going to make me die?
J.K. Rowling: Yes.
Snape: On the first page…
J.K. Rowling: Yup.
Snape: By /ichoking on a picklei?
J.K. Rowling: Does that bother you?
Snape: …
This caught his attention because this was in fact how Snape died. The pickle at fault, Voldemort reminisced, had been "doctored" by him as a welcome back present for Snape when he had killed that old fool Dumbledore – after all, the Malfoy boy had been supposed to, hadn't he? Voldemort then contemplated about why magic could cause someone to choke on a pickle but it couldn't… well, I'm sure you get the idea by now.
Finally Voldemort remembered he was reading the Caption Contest. The Snape caption was by no means the only good one on the list. One caption stated that the grammatically correct term for Voldemort's widely used nickname was in fact You-Know-Whom, in honor of which Voldemort immediately made up a new law that anyone who used You-Know-Who ever again would be Avada Kedavra'd on the spot. Another caption stated "This caption not available due to writer's strike", which Voldemort didn't get until one helpful follower informed him that there had been a huge writer's strike in the Muggle world a few short months ago, after which Voldemort laughed so hard he forgot to Crucio that follower for knowing something about the Muggle world. His favorite caption of all, however, included 3 characters from The Princess Bride, mostly because he could relate to Vizzini's evil overlord monologue – in fact, he got so annoyed at that Inigo guy for suggesting that they follow the lighted signs saying "Exit" that he was about to Avada Kedavra the computer screen before Wormtail pointed out that if he killed the computer he wouldn't be able to access Mugglenet anymore.
Voldemort was having a lot of fun on Mugglenet so he decided to stay on it and look at the Fun Lists. The first one he clicked on was titled "44 Ways To Bother Snape". While the page was loading he typed in 'No. 13: Read the Mugglenet Fun Lists'. The ways to annoy Snape were very good, Voldemort thought, and he was torn between amusement that he had done at least half of the things listed, and regret that he had never had the chance to do the other half. The second Fun List he looked at was "123 ways to annoy Voldemort". The items on the list were so annoying that just reading them annoyed Voldemort. Noticing this, Wormtail decided to send in a new item to the list: 'Get Voldemort to read this list'. He did this the next day and it was up within the hour.
Voldemort, after taking an hour to calm down and convince himself no one would have the guts to do any of the things on the list, decided to skip most of what else is on Mugglenet and go straight to a thing called fan fiction – he had never heard of this. His first impression was that it wasn't too flashy but he decided to investigate. He read a whole group of fan fictions; he was scarred for life by some slash fics, was kept on the edge of his seat by some of the more exciting fanfics – "Will the brats die? Will the brats die?" – and was incredibly disappointed that there were so few that show him as the great person he is. It was this fact that lead to him becoming a member of Mugglenet Fan Fiction – his user name was UWILLALLDIE27 – so that he could write his own fan fiction true to all the characters.
He typed 'No. 14: Write a fan fiction about the brats' on his list. He then opened a new document in Microsoft Word, leaned over the keyboard and began to type.
A/N: So there it is, finished, a rather short chapter. Hopefully next chapter will make up for it – it'll be Voldemort's fan fiction with Wormtail sarcastically commenting on it.
Remember to review after reading, the more I get the faster I update. But don't expect an update this fast, I already had this written and the third is taking me a while.