At the Avenger's Mansion
All the Avenger's are standing around, having drinks, and socializing. All except for a fidgeting Iron Man.
"Where is he, where is he, where is he?" Iron Man repeated.
Silver Surfer phases through the roof and lands on the floor. He then stands his surfboard against the wall.
"Surfer, you're here!" Iron Man yelled happily. "Come on first..."
"Yeah, yeah get out of the fucking way." Silver Surfer pushed Iron Man aside and walks towards the food table.
"Hi, go fuck yourself, kiss my shiney silver ass, fuck you, here's what I came for." the Silver Surfer said to the Avengers as he made his way to the food table. He grabs the edges of the table cloth and wraps all the food together in a large make-shift sack. He then walks back to his to his surfboard while Iron Man follows.
"W-W-Wait, whe're you going?" Iron Man asked frantically.
"Gotta get back to the devourer of taco bell before he gives me hell." said the Surfer as he grabbed his board and turned to leave. However, Iron Man jumps infront of him with his arms stretched out.
"WAIT! You can't leave without giving me a BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG hug.
"Iron Man, first of all I'm not gay." said the Silver Surfer. "Second, even if I was, I can't have sex.
FLASHBACK
Silver Surfer is in bed with Sue Storm, the Invisible Woman of the Fantastic Four, and they're both looking under the covers bewildered.
"Sooooo...where is it?" Sue asked the Silver Surfer.
"I-I'm not sure. I guess eiether the Silver coating over my body stops it from coming out or Galactus removed my genitals."
"I think it's the latter." replied Sue dissapointed.
"Oh damn it." said a depressed Surfer.
Seeing that the Surfer's problem with women is really hurting him, Sue rubs his shoulder.
"It's okay." Sue went for the phone. "I'll just call namor."
"NAMOR!" yelled the Surfer. "You're gonna fuck that tuna smelling speedo king?
"At least he can get it up."
"B-B-But I can give you oral sex," stammered the Surfer desperately. "I have fingers, we can dry hump!"
"Surfer if I wanted a lesbian experience I'd call Wonder Woman or Elektra." said the Invisible Woman coldly. This angers the Silver Surfer and he gets off the bed and walks away.
"Fine, I hope your husband finds out why you smell of tuna you filthy whore!"
END FLASHBACK
The Silver Surfer has his head down looking depressed.
"Come on, a hug'll make you feel better." Iron Man persuaded the Surfer.
"Fine but don't expect a hug back I have my hands full." said the Silver Surfer as Iron Man gives him the desired hug. While Iron Man is hugging the Surfer, the Surfer winces.
"What was that?" asked the Silver Surfer.
"Mosquitoe." Iron Man quickly replied.
"But mosquitoes can't pierce my skin." the Surfer said but shrugged it off. "Meh doesn't matter, now let go."
Iron Man lets go of the Surfer and the Surfer flies off, without noticing that Iron Man has his hands behind his back.
"Well, time for me to hit the sack." yawned Iron Man.
"It's 8:00pm." responded War Machine, looking at his watch.
"FUCK YOU!" yelled Iron Man as he ran towards his room holding the 2 things he had behind his back, a combat knife and a piece of the Surfer's skin, an even bigger piece than last time.
THE NEXT DAY, AT THE MARVEL QUICK-STOP
Spider-man and Deadpool are behind the counter watching t.v.
" In the case of 6 month-old Jerimiah, YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" said the familiar sounding t.v host.
"You owe me a dollar." Spider-man pointed out to his best friend.
"I just thought that kid was a black albino." replied Deadpool as he paid for his bet.
Spider-woman and War Machine come into the store.
"What do you want?" asked Spider-man indifferently.
"Have you seen Iron Man?" asked Spider-woman. "He won't answer his cell and his door has a securtiy lock on it so we don't know if he's there.
"I don't know where he is." said Spider-man.
"And I don't care." said Deadpool.
A/N: Where is Iron Man? And don't you just feel sorry for the Silver Surfer?