Iron Man is flying through the Garden of Beerden.
Head
bangers in leather
Sparks flyin in the dead of the night
It
all comes together
When they turn out the lights
His flying through the alcoholics paradise, he sees the Beer God's daughters tied to trees, being shocked with caddle-progs by any alcoholics worst enemy, giant Bibles.
50,000
wats of power
And it's pushin' overload
The beast is ready to
devour
All the metal they can hold
This pisses him off more than anything, so he decides to fly down and lands behind the Bibles, who turn to face him.
Rockin'
overload
Start to explode
"You are powerless to stop us or your alcoholism." the lead Bible said, trying to dissaude Iron Man away.
It's
your one way ticket to midnight
Call it Heavy Metal
Iron Man's only reply to the Bibles was a missle that destroyed all 3 of them. The Beer God's daughters look at their savior and smile seductively. A minute later, he has all 7 of them on his shoulders, flying away.
Higher
than high, feelin' just right
Call it Heavy Metal
Desperation
on a red line
Call it Heavy Metal noise
In the Real World however...
The Avengers are burning off the hindges of Iron Man's door. They finally open it and begin to enter it.
"Tony, if you're here we need to..." Spider-woman began but her eyes then went wide. "OH MY GOD!
All the Avenger's all gasp when they see Iron Man naked, with his armored pants around his ankles and his arms in 180 degree angle, pretending to fly.
"Woosh, woosh, weeeeee, look at me I'm free and I'm drunk!" Iron Man happily babbled.
"Oh my God, he's hallucinating and..." Spider-woman noticed Iron Man walking to his window and making a very naughty gesture. "Oh my God,is he masturbating in front of that window?"
"Wait, the're kids in the backyard playing." Ms. Marvel reminded everyone.
"TONY!" all the Avenger's yelled as they tackled him to the ground.
Later at the Marvel Quick Stop
Spider-woman stomps into the store and slams the Silver Surfer's skin piece on the counter.
"What the hell is this crap!?" she yelled.
"Unless you have a reciept, we don't know or care." Deadpool said. They only reply they got was Spider-woman grabbing their necks and bringing them to her face.
"Listen to me assholes, because of this shit, Iron Man's been hallucinating, taking off his clothes wherever he is, and we nearly got sued for sexual indecency!"
"ACK, we don't know!" gagged Deadpool.
"All we know is that it came from the Silver Surfer, it must've happend when he scratched himself." Spider-man gasped.
"Silver Surfer...motherfucker." Spider-woman said, forgetting that she still had her hands around the store clerk heroes necks.
"Can't breath." Deadpool gasped.
"Life...flashing...before eyes...very boring." Spider-man said.
Back at the Avenger's Mansion
The Silver Surfer's being interrogated by Spider-woman, Ms. Marvel, and War Machine. It's obvious that Silver Surfer's bored.
"You ASSHOLE, do you know what you've done!?" Spider-woman yelled.
"No...and I don't care." The Surfer said indifferently.
"Because of your fucking skin, my boyfriend's been running around hallucinating that he's in beer land and getting naked at the wrong places at the wrong time!" Spider-woman yelled again.
"Okay, since when has it been my faul that your depressed drunk of a boyfriend likes to get high off my skin?" Silver Surfer defended himself. "Also, isn't he all of the Marvel women's boyfriend...or at least their baby's daddy?"
Ms. Marvel just sighs. "This is worse then the missing lobsters for Africa scandal."
"Hey now, you have no proof that was me." Silver Surfer defended himself.
"Besides the fact that you were seen flying next to our plane with a crate of cooked lobsters." War Machine replied.
Iron Man walks into the room. "Surfer, I'm dissapointed in you, I though you'd take some responsibility. Henceforth, I never want to see you again unless it's an emergency."
Iron Man outstretches his hand to the Surfer for a handshake but the Surfer just stares at it. "I can see the scalpel in your hand."
Iron Man just stands frozen, knowing that he's been caught. Iron Man then decides to jump the Silver Surfer to get his high but he's tackled to the ground by the 3 Avengers in the room. Iron Man pathetically stretches him arm out towards the Surfer, while the Surfer taunts Iron Man to come and get him.
"No it's mine, MINE!" Iron Man yells. Silver Surfer just grabs the plate of donuts on the coffee table and flies away.
"Come back," Iron Man cried out as the tears fell down his helmet. "My precious!"
Disclaimer: I don't know how often I have to write this message down, but I don't own any of the characters in the story.
Song used: Heavy Metal by Sammy Hagar.