Gaara's Journal
Chapter 9 – The Sound Whack job 4
The sand siblings were on their way to Konoha. It was undecided on where they were supposed to go. Since Baki sensei seemed to make it a big deal, they all assumed that they should go to the Hokage's office first. Earlier they negotiated on it. "So uh…where are we supposed to go now?" Kankuro asked.
"Baki sensei never said so I am guessing the Hokage's office." Gaara exclaimed.
"Yeah but he also said that we were supposed to help a group of genin, including Naruto." Temari said, looking around for other shinobi who could possibly be waiting for them.
"Pssh genin. The leaf ninja are hopeless." Gaara retorted. He laughed softly.
"Gaara you are so rude." Kankuro said, giving his brother a look.
"Remember cat man, I still have this!" Gaara reached into his pocket and held up a purple crayola marker.
"Oh really?" Kankuro replied confidently. Hr held up an item also. It was thin but short, like a stick of some sort (ha that rhymed and I just figured it out XD) Gaara gasped at the sight of it.
"My eyeliner!" he yelled. "You give that back!" His eyes widened and he reached for his cosmetics. They both fought like normal brothers would. Soon they came to a stop. They had finally arrived at the gate of Konoha.
"Alright Gaara give me back my marker and I'll give you your eyeliner alright?" Kankuro said, hoping that this would end soon. He needed that marker.
"Ok," Gaara said, taking his eyeliner. Before Kankuro could grab his marker, Gaara retreated his arm with the marker in it. "For stealing my eyeliner, ULTRA MEGA SAND COFFIN!" Gaara screamed holding out his hand for the futile attack. Temari immediately stepped in and grabbed his wrist.
"Gaara this is no time for a temper tantrum!" She said. Gaara simply ignored her and covered his ears.
"I can't hear you! La la la di da!" he replied. Just then a boy in an orange jumpsuit came running in their direction.
"Hey! We've been waiting for you guys! What took ya?" Naruto asked. The three stopped fighting. Temari stepped forward and began to speak, her being more mature.
"Sorry. What is it that you need our help for.?" Temari asked, smiling slightly. She was clearly embarrassed by her two brothers.
"Well we need to go help…hey wait! You guys aren't supposed to be here! You come like twenty episodes from now! Damn it Tsunade!" Naruto explained. Several boys joined Naruto on both sides.
"Hello." One said. They all looked extremely pissed off.
"You are going to pay for cutting off my beloved ponytail!" Neji said, pointing at Gaara. A tear ran down his face.
"You could've smothered me to death! By the way, hi Temari!" Shikamaru said sternly. He blushed a little and waved in her direction.
"You owe me four dollars." Choji said. He didn't really seem as mad as the others. "I don't really care about it but my dad is pissed off so yeah. He'll starve me if I don't get the money." He explained. Maybe he should starve you fat ass. Gaara added silently.
"Yeah!" Kiba chimed in. Gaara looked at him confused.
"Pssh what the hell did I do to you?" Gaara asked.
"I don't know," he replied suspiciously, "but I got my eye on you!" Akamaru growled from inside of his jacket. Temari turned towards Gaara with a frown on her face.
"Gaara…what the hell did you do?" Temari asked. Now Baki was going to be mad at her and Kankuro for not keeping their eye on him. Gaara smiled innocently, which was a first.
"Heh heh…funny story. Let's discuss it over some pocky." He replied. "Anyone?" He turned around and began running. His siblings followed along. They ran like hell through the woods. The group angry mob followed them close behind. About five minutes into it, a fat dude jumped in front of Choji.
"Haha! Give me food! Haha!" He yelled, eyeing the bag of Choji's potato chips in his pocket.
"Hell no!" Choji replied angrily. You do not mess with Choji's food because when Choji is angry, Choji runs you over. "Human boulder!!" His attempt to crush the fat man was unsuccessful. Choji then pilled a rectangular box from his pocket which was stuffed with food. "Guys, go on ahead. I must defeat the fat ass that stands before me." He said. Choji had a stern look on his face.
"But Choji! You'll die if you take that pill!" Shikamaru said. The look on his face was different. He was clearly worried and scared at the same time.
"I said go!" Choji yelled. Shikamaru shrugged and went ahead with the others.
"He's probably on the girth control pill." Gaara said to his siblings. He laughed at his own joke. Gaara seemed to crack himself up sometimes. Kankuro rolled his eyes. He found none of Gaara's jokes to be funny, and he still couldn't think of any ways to get revenge on him yet. That, he would do later, but now he was confused on whether they were going to find Sasuke as ordered or run from the angry mob all day. It seemed as if the forest had no end to it. It was like being in the middle of an endless sandstorm. The whole group (including the angry mob) suddenly stopped on one of the tree branches. Another man stood in their way. He wore a huge grin and his eyes were wide too. He had black hair tied back into a ponytail. Neji envied him for that. He missed his beloved soft hair.
The guy also had relatively dark skin and multiple arms, like a spider. "DE NANANANANANANANA SPIDER MAN!" he yelled in his hoarsely average pitched voice. No one made a move. They just stared with amazement at the retarded shinobi in front of them.
"Wow." Said Gaara, "I think you are referring to batman."
"No I am not! Spiders rule. GO WEB GO!" he yelled. The man turned his arm upright, made a sign with his hand, and stuck his arm out as if expecting something to emerge from it. "Damn it why isn't this working!?" he murmured, becoming aggravated.
"Look, can we just go? This is a waste of time. See we're on this mission and," Gaara was interrupted by the man.
"No wait! I got this! H-hold on a sec!" he said trying again for whatever he wanted to come out of his arm.
"I'll handle him." Said Neji. He got in position for his jutsu '8 trigrams, 64 palms', and motioned the others to go on.
"Well, Temari, CAT MAAAAN!" Gaara yelled. Kankuro flinched and then lost his balance. He fell from the tree.
"Gaara you little raccoon!" Kankuro yelled from the forest floor below. He held up a fist as a gesture that he was going to beat his little brother up. After Temari helped him up, they joined the others in their search for Sasuke. The leaf genin almost forgot why they were mad at the sand ninja. Another mile ahead in the endless forest, Kiba fell on his face.
"Hey c'mon Kiba stop slacking!" Naruto yelled.
"Someone tripped me!" Kiba complained, looking around for the culprit. A guy with white hair, blue lipstick and eyeliner, and two heads emerged from behind a tree.
"Name's Sakon. Nice to meet cha. I don't have Sasuke at the moment; I'm just here to hold you up." Sakon explained.
"Oh my god. Seriously can we go now?" Gaara complained.
"Yeah go on! Let me handle this two headed butt munch!" Kiba replied.
"Arf!" Akamaru barked from inside of Kiba's jacket. They launched at Sakon but missed.
"I'll stay back here and help." Kankuro said to his siblings. They nodded in understanding and started following Naruto and Shikamaru. "Alright this guy is going down."
"I don't need your stupid help!" Kiba said.
"Oh ho ho! Is that so?" Sakon interrupted. "I'd think again about that." Just then something completely random happened. Someone started to separate from Sakon. It was another person who looked almost exactly like him.
"HOLA! I am Ukon. I wanted to be named Julio but Sakon thought it sounded gay." Ukon gave them a friendly smile and waved.
"What the French toast? They speak Spanish too?! No way, uh uh, not gonna happen." Kankuro said. A puppet came out of no where and trapped the two brothers inside its wooden stomach. They pleaded for Kankuro to release them from inside the golem. "You said that you are part of the sound ninja four….NOT ANYMORE!" Kankuro gave an evil smile when he said the last sentence. Numerous swords came in from different directions and flew towards the golem.
-Line Break-
"Hey baldy bald! Ovah here!" Kidomaru yelled. Neji panted a little then threw a few more shurikens and kunais in different directions. Kidomaru lowered a spider down from a tree and onto Neji's head. It was silent until Neji screamed like a little girl. He jumped around trying to rid of the eight legged freak. Kidomaru laughed from up in the tree.
"Get it off!" Neji called out repeatedly in a high pitched voice. It only made Kidomaru laugh harder.
"On one condition." Kidomaru began. "Dance my little ballerina!" He pulled out a tutu and tossed it down to Neji. It floated into his hands which clenched in causing a wrinkle to form. He looked angrier at the wanna-be spider man.
"You want me to do WHAT?!" Neji finally busted out.
"You heard me! Put on the tutu and dance or DIE!" Kidomaru explained. Neji blushed slightly and disappeared behind a tree to put on the tutu. Things were about to get creepier.
-Line Break-
"Where's the sound village?" Temari asked.
"How should I know? Oh great there's another one." Shikamaru replied. Another ninja popped out from some random location and blocked their path. This time it was a woman. Her hand was on one of her hips. The four ninja were forced to stop once more.
"Hahaha!" She giggled in a high pitched girly tone, covering her mouth with one hand. "Ugh, you guys are like wasting your like time like oh my god."
"What?" Temari asked, confused with why she was saying 'like' after every word. "Listen Barbie, MOVE so we can go find Sasuke."
"Like, I'm so hot." She said, flipping back her hair with one hand, the other remained on her hip. "My name is like Tayuya and I'm like 'spose to like kick your butts or like something." She explained.
"Naruto! Gaara! Go on we're gonna stay back here and kill this whack job." Shikamaru called over his shoulder. Naruto and Gaara continued without a word.
"What the hell are with all these whack jobs?" Gaara asked. Naruto was mumbling something to himself; he swore a few times then looked at Gaara.
"What?" He asked. Gaara rolled his eyes and didn't respond. He just kept moving silently. Would he and Naruto run into any more whack jobs on their mission to find Sasuke?
A/N: Look, I know I kind of pushed almost everyone out of the way quick, but when there is a lot of people, I tend to lose track of who is there so I wind up writing about one or three people and forgetting that the rest are there. Anyway look forward to the next chapter because there are some new people and some are coming back into the picture. Anyway see you in chapter 10!