- Ninth Petal -

Regret

With each falling petal, Kanda wishes for more.

The gentle thumping of Kanda's wistful heart is one of the many sounds that Noise Marie can hear (as clear as bells and as soft as clouds) with the power of his Innocence, but it in fact is that very wistfulness that his ears cannot perceive. Marie only hears this wistfulness as a result of the many years he has known Kanda through their many bumbling travels with their master. They have survived battle after battle (not only of Akuma but also of horrid meals or even lack thereof for days on end) and have gone through such thick and thin that Marie can begin to understand the young man behind the constant scowl and cold eyes.

And so, although Kanda says nothing and retains his usual behavior (shoulders thrown back as he walks proudly and silently, his black katana hanging loosely next to his left hip within an instant from his steady hand) Marie hears and understands the wistfulness that tints Kanda's heart. (How I wish for more time.) Why Kanda feels this way, Marie has never bothered to ask. It's not his style, after all, him being the tall bulky man who speaks and acts only when necessary yet listens perpetually. The merest quiver of a blade of grass. (Only a bug.) The slightest shift in the trembling winds. (A storm's coming.) And the heartbeat of a fellow Exorcist. (I'm still alive my heart's still beating.)

And so it is because Marie hears a little gasp (barely detectable, hidden in the gushes of all the gushing blood but still distinct nonetheless) in the rhythmic pulsing of Kanda's heart that the normally stoic man frowns. Are his ears deceiving him? No, that can't be it. Marie's ears have always been right and—yes! there it is again. How strange that Kanda's heart is beating irregularly. (I wish I could have done more there's so little time left.) Is he ill? They can't have a physically disadvantaged Exorcist on their team now; it will put all of them, not just Kanda, at risk.

And so Marie, being the gentle caring one despite his large rough frame, steps outside his usual persona and directs the question to Kanda when they stop to rest next to a stream. The Japanese Exorcist stares at him (with his usual eyes that glint black steel) while kneeling along the banks of dry cracked mud. Staunchly denying anything wrong with him through gritted teeth, Kanda takes not heed of the water in his cupped hands trickling back to the stream. (I regret it I'm sorry I should have listened.) Marie quietly listens to the nervous heartbeat while Kanda makes his cold reply. It sounds like a lie. (No I'm not alright I'm slowly dying.) Kanda has never liked to yield to the fact that he is weaker than usual. Because Marie knows this from all their years of traveling and because he knows Kanda will not take to further questioning, the former Exorcist inclines his head in farewell. (Thank you for asking thank you for caring but I don't deserve it.) Giving Kanda, still at the water's edge, one last glance, Marie quietly returns to the horse carriage.

A/N: Thanks very much to Belladonna-Isabella, Mao, Dark Mage Makai, Kuro666, Ai Minamoto, whiteninjaachemist, pika318, RebelFlame, Z.Zombie, chibi yoruichi, Shinigami's Voice, AmY-DyLaN-SoHiA-aNiKi, Velvet Blindfold, Kitsune no Yuuki, and laFia for reviews and subscriptions. It's been a while since I've updated, so it's good to see you all (hopefully!) again.

As mentioned in the author's note of chapter 3, here I am, incorporating one of my favorite DGM ending songs, "Regret" by Hoshimura Mai. I also thought that Noise Marie, who has been Kanda's "teammate" should have a say in these drabbles. For those who posed requests… no worries! I have also taken them into consideration for future petals. Four more to go!

D.Gray-Man (c) Hoshino Katsura