I have taken scenes from this fanfic, and redone them in the classic Cameron/Cuddy Valley Girl fashion. ENJOY!!
from Chapter 1: Cuddy finds out about House and Cameron being enGAGed.
"Hey Cameron," Cuddy's voice called from the hall. There was a quick clicking to her heels. A woman on a mission. "Can I, like, talk to you in the office, or something?" Cameron nodded and followed the other woman into her small office.
"So, like, what did you want to talk about?"
"Chase is totally not coming to work! What did you do to him?"
"We, like, totally broke up. He, like, found out about me and House that one time, and totally freaked."
"Did you, like, just tell him? That was, like, months ago!" she hissed. "I can not, like, run a freaking hospital with you and House at it like bunnies all the time! Chase is totally ditching work, and you and House are like, not. Are you, like, trying to make me feel better about Chase flaking out?"
"I'm, like, totally pregnant! Okay?"
"No fucking way."
"Yes fucking way. And, like, now House wants to get married!"
"I totally don't believe you!" Cuddy's face was white, and slowly turning red as the reality of the situation sank in. "He's totally, like, fucking evil!"
"He's Not fucking evil!" she hissed at her boss. Her eyes narrowed. "I'm like, totally freaking out over here! I, like could totally use a friend, not a bitch!"
"You are freaking out? I'm freaking out!" Cuddy threw her arms up in defeat.
"Like, what do you want from me? Do you, like, want me to, like, quit or whatever? Do you want me to tell Chase I'm, like, Sorry or something? Or, like, the clinic?
Cuddy glared at her, thinking of the added complication. "You're freaking pregnant! You can't, like, DO clinic hours!" Cuddy sighed. "House? Seriously?"
"He's hot, so you can back the fuck off, bitch. I will totally take you down."
"Oh my God, you're already fucking pregnant-psycho woman. I'll, like, see you later...or whatever." Knowing she gave too much away, Cuddy turned on a heal and left.
from Chapter 2: Cameron's pre-wedding jitters.
"I lam so freaking fat!" Allison yelled from the bedroom. Thirteen and Cuddy looked to each other and the back at the door. "What if he, like, totally changed his mind?" Allison paced into the living room, dressed, with perfect hair and make-up. "What...what if he, like, flakes out?"
Thirteen looked at Cuddy, who knew now was her time to shine. "We already, like, totally made sure he was there. He, like, even shaved." Cameron stared for a second. "He' is SO there!"
"I, like, don't think I can do this."
"Like, why not?" Thirteen whined
"I'm like Fatty McFatster, and his dad is, like, RIGHT here, and he totally hates his dad, and I, like, totally found out about his bachelor party last night! He's, like, probably still drunk!" The knocking on her door made her jump.
"Hey Cammie, did you, like want me to, like, drive you there?" Kutner's voice floated in. "I totally have a sweet car, if you want a ride or whatever." Cuddy opened the door and Kutner entered. For the first time since meeting him, Cameron saw him dressed nicely. "House, like asked me to pick you girls up, so I like rented a kick-ass car, and like, here I am."
"We totally could have driven her," Cuddy said. Kutner shrugged.
"Dude, its House! I, like, can't say no to House! He'll like, beat me." Cameron closed her bedroom door and slipped on her shoes. "OMG, Cammie!"
"What?"
"You look totally hot, Cameron. He'd, like, have to be a total idiot not to marry you. And you, like, look so thin!" Kutner said, looking at her in the dress. He'd memorized the lines House told him to say. 'Told her she looks perfect, told her she looks thin, told her House would be an idiot. What am I forgetting?' the thought.
"Seriously?"
"Seriously!" he said, smiling. 'Foreman!' He reached an arm out. "Foreman is, like, totally keeping House from, like, bouncing off the fucking walls!."
"OMFG, He doesn't want to, like marry Fatty McFatster!"
"He so totally does!"
"I'm totally not doing this-"
"Like, no way! He is freaking out 'cause he thinks you aren't coming! He, like, sent me, 'cause he, like, totally is scared you won't show up." Kutner took a deep breath.
"Seriously?"
"SERIOUSLY!" Cuddy and Thirteen stared between the two.
"Cammie, you, like, look totally hot."
"My name's, like, NOT Cammie."
"Whatever. You still look fully hot."
from Chapter 4: Prepping the nursery
She went into the next room where Dr. Cuddy was hanging up baby clothes she'd helped Allison wash earlier. Most were gifts from a baby shower a week ago, but a few were what Allison and Greg picked out, or that Blythe sent. The room looked almost ready for Sam. Cuddy was, to say the last, efficient in nursery planning; crib and changing table were put together in record time, as was the swing and stroller. Taub's wife put the car seat in the car; they had children and were experienced in things of that nature.
Basically, between Cuddy and Mrs. Taub, Allison didn't have much to do; just buy diapers and give birth. Cuddy had more fun putting the nursery together than Allison thought she would. She was smiling at every little outfit she hung.
"You, like, totally love my baby." Allison lowered herself into the rocking chair. It creaked, but it wasn't annoying; it was a comforting creak that reminded her of its age and significance.
"Yeah, I, like, love babies," Cuddy said, looking at a pair of newborn sized pajamas. "I'm so jealous!"
"Jealous? I'm freaking out! Babies are, like hard! If you want to babysit, you can totally babysit! You can't totally be Aunt Lisa!" Cuddy grinned and placed the outfit into the closet.
"You, like, totally don't mean that," Cuddy said softly. "You and House will be, like, great. I mean, like, you don't need me."
"No, stupid, we don't need you. Like, we want you there anyway. House, like, acts cool around you. You, like, aren't totally freaking out! You're, like, a genius or something!"
"Totally not."
"You just, like, put everything together, in like, 5 minutes!"
"I can read, stupid!"
Cuddy wanted to be a friend, no more, and that would be fine for now. Allison knew the moment Sam was born, that Lisa Cuddy would be all over the kid, and would spoil him rotten with kisses, gifts, and as soon as he was old enough, suckers and ice cream. "So,like, Detective Lucas is totally on the phone," Allison said. Cuddy fumbled and dropped the outfit she was trying to put on a hanger. "Smooth."
"What? Its not I like...like him..." Her voice had gone up to nearly a squeak.
"He's, like, this total hottie that I can't even, like, look at!" Allison scoffed with a smile. "House would, like, seriously hurt him." Cuddy looked up and grinned.
"He's TOTALLY hot!"
"You should, like, TOTALLY date him!" Cuddy's face fell.
"He, like, doesn't like me."
"Only because House won't, like, let him look at you. House, like, has him on a mission...or whatever." Cuddy rolled her eyes.
"What is he? Like in the CIA again? Hello, House! God, that was, like over a year ago! Get over it already!"
"You totally know about that?"
"Like, Totally!"
from Chapter 4: Explaining to Cuddy
Cuddy paced in front of the couch, small smile coming across her lips as Cameron spoke. House was doing something so out of the blue, and so spectacular that Wilson would never be able to do for himself. Wilson would never forgive him for Amber, but he'd at least have David now. Cameron had sent everyone else home, thanking them for their help, as soon as dinner was done with.
Now Lisa and Allison were alone, talking about why House had Detective Lucas for the last 2 months, why he'd disappeared randomly for a day or two at a time. Now, he was headed to Montana to bring David back. Hopefully, he'd come willingly, and they'd be gone only a week or so. At least they knew he was alive, and that was better than nothing.
"I can't believe he'd, like, do this for Wilson," Cuddy whispered, half smiling.
"Greg totally is nice." There was a laugh from the far end of the room.
"No Way!"
"Yes way!"
"Only if you like being yelled at!" Cuddy sank into the sofa.
"So, like, how's Chase?"
"He's totally seeing someone."
"OMG! That's so Fab!"
"A shrink!"
"Is he, like, a patient, or like...dating her?"
"Totally a patient!" Cameron closed her eyes and sighed. "He, like, really misses you, and can't, like do his job right.
"We weren't, like, that serious! I like, didn't even like him much!" Lisa sighed and rubbed at her forehead. "Look, I like totally didn't love him, and he totally loved me. I can't, like, help it. He, like, needs to move the fuck on already."
"He, like will!"
"Whatever! He's, like, got to meet someone new already!!" Allison rested her hands over the baby and sighed. "So, like, my mom id flying in."
"Oh my GOD!"
"She, like, has no idea that I am, like, married and pregnant. I just told her my new address, and she, like freaks out, and is all 'I have to come up and, like see you!" and like IS! She's going to, like, kill me!"
"She totally be too happy to be too mad!
"I don't, like, want her here." Cuddy wanted to asked, but Allison didn't give her the chance. "She totally hated my first husband, so like, why would she like Greg?"
"She'll totally love Greg."
"Whatever."
"Don't, like, kick her out. She may, like, totally be cool."
Heh, I was bored and stuck. I hope ya like them!
Thanks you, once more for reading my work. Its been great! See ya in Part Two; "The Intern."