Hi, y'all! (Skids to a stop) I'm back! (Cricket chirps) Okay, so not the best welcome ever, but hey, at least I'm updating! (Nervous laugh) Oh, and the story will mostly be told from Snape's point of view. It would kind of spoil it to tell it from the twins' POV, except at the end of the chapters.

Disclaimer: Mm, no, don't own anything you recognize. Jinx is mine, though. And that's not a prank. That's the cold hard truth. (Sigh) Life is so unfair. (Well, in case you haven't noticed, LIFE ISN'T FAIR.) Shut up. Oh, and that's my muse of darkness, Cassi. Don't make her angry. Really. Just…don't. (Shudder)

Edit 9-6-08: Continuity errors fixed.

It had been a week almost since the last prank and Fred and George were already getting bored again. So, with help from the Marauders and the fact that Halloween was fast approaching, the Weasley twins began scheming.

Severus Snape had also not forgotten the pranks and was hard at work trying to figure out the culprits. His immediate thoughts had been the first-year Weasley twins, but some of the pranks were well beyond their capabilities and so he had dismissed the possibility.

Good for the twins.

Bad for Snape.

Prank #6

Snape was stalking the halls late at night when he came across a pair of sixth-years eating their opposite faces off in a broom closet. After sending them on their way to their respective common rooms (one was a Ravenclaw, the other a Gryffindor), and taking away a generous amount of points from each House, he resumed his stalking.

He didn't notice a shadow hiding behind a statue.

The next morning, he got up as usual, brushed his teeth, washed his hair, dressed and started out to the Great Hall for breakfast. In his haste, he did not notice the students who scuttled out of his way.

As he sat down, McGonagall dropped her fork.

"Something wrong?" he asked smoothly.

"Ah, Severus, by any chance, did you happen to look in a mirror this morning?"

"No, I didn't not. Why?"

Wordlessly, McGonagall picked her fork back up and passed her wand over it, transfiguring it into a mirror, and handed it to him. At first, Snape couldn't figure out what was wrong, but as he started to ask McGonagall, he noticed a flash of white. Startled, he bared his teeth in the mirror and found that his canines had been lengthened, probably by a jinx, giving him the appearance of being a vampire.

With a barely concealed snarl at his reflection, he pointed his wand at himself and muttered the counter-jinx. To his surprise, it didn't work. Instead, the countercurse lengthened them even more, so that even when he closed his mouth, the tips were still visible.

"I think you're going to have to wait for that curse to wear off!" Flitwick piped up.

"Thanks," grumbled Snape.

Prank #7 (Thanks to Samara Nightshade for the suggestion)

It took three days for the jinx to wear off, by which time Snape was absolutely furious. Not since his school days had he been treated like this. He had half a mind to Floo that flea-bitten werewolf and find out if he had entrusted the Marauders' secrets to a new generation. No, he would wait. And in the meantime, he would keep working on the prankster's identity.

Halloween was only a week away when the next prank hit. He had been drinking pumpkin juice straight from the kitchens in his quarters when there was a sudden pop and Snape vanished, replaced with a bat who squeaked in furious indignation.

In the kitchens, Fred and George were profusely expressing their thanks to a house-elf for putting a potion in the jug of pumpkin juice that Snape had requested.

"Masters Weasleys are so kind!" he squeaked. "Jinx is glad to help whenever Masters need it!"

The Weasleys grinned maniacally. "We may take you up on that suggestion in the future," said one.

Jinx simply smiled a smile as evil as a house-elf could.

Albus Dumbledore was in his study reading the Daily Prophet when a bat flew in his window.

"Well, hello, little creature," he said, laying his paper down.

To his surprise, the bat landed on his desk, faced him with its winged limbs waving crazily and squeaking crazily in bat language.

"I'm sorry, I don't know that language."

The bat huffed and picked up a nearby quill. Using his mouth, he clumsily wrote on the parchment.

H – E – L – P – M – E, A – L – B – U – S.

Dumbledore raised a white eyebrow at the bat. Unless the mammal had evolved to a point where it was able to write a legible sentence in English, he was reasonably sure that the bat in front of him was not a real bat. He took out his wand and cast a temporary Translation Charm on the pseudo-bat. Immediately, it burst out in a string of expletives that are not fit to print.

"My dear boy, please refrain from such language," said Dumbledore, trying his best not to chuckle at his unfortunate professor.

Snape glared at Dumbledore. "Is there anything you can do?" he squeaked out, cringing at his voice. It was high-pitched, reminiscent of a person who had been exposed to helium.

Dumbledore waved his wand over Snape and began muttering counter-curses. It seemed to help, for Snape was back to his human form within minutes, surprisingly dressed, but as soon as Dumbledore stopped, there was another pop and Snape-the-Bat was back.

Dumbledore spent half an hour trying to undo the curse, but every time, the curse came back.

"I am sorry, Severus, it appears you are going to have to wait for the spell to wear off. At least with the Translation Charm, you can continue classes."

Snape flew out of the room, leaving a nice pile of guano on Dumbledore's head.

Prank #8

Snape glared at the bunch of third-years Gryffindors and Slytherins that had come in for Potions that day. He had spent the past two days as a bat before turning back to normal, though he still had a slight craving for mosquitoes. He set the class to work brewing a Shrinking Solution and did not notice that one of the third-year Gryffindors slipped a vial into his pocket before turning in his official potion flagonfor credit.

He was walking the halls later that day when he heard, "Duck!"

He did not react in time and was hit in the face with a red balloon, while Peeves flew off laughing from doing his deed.

Snape sourly glared after the poltergeist while taking out a cloth to wipe off his face. He was surprised when the handkerchief shrunk in his hand. Hesitantly, he reached up and felt his face. He blanched and headed for the hospital wing, ignoring the laughing students.

"Severus, what have you done this time?"

"It wasn't me!" protested Snape, his voice nasally sharp. "That poltergeist threw something at my face!"

Snape's nose had borne the brunt of the Shrinking Solution and now was painfully tiny, not its usual hook-shape. Pomfrey looked skeptically at him, but administered the antidote anyway. Truthfully, she thought to herself, as Snape's nose regained its usual unique shape, he looked better with a smaller nose.

As the Potions Master billowed his way out of the infirmary, she prayed that whoever was responsible for this watched their step around Snape.

Prank #9

Halloween finally arrived and the Great Hall was decked in the usual decorations, plus a few unique ones that included a skeleton that talked whenever somebody walked by. It was this unique decoration that was the focus of Fred and George's next prank.

Snape arrived in time for the Halloween feast. Usually he did not go to the feast because he didn't view Halloween as a time for celebration, but he figured that if he did, he could eat the same foods as the other professors and not have to worry about some kind of reaction. Plus, Albus had insisted. Meddlesome old goat.

As he passed the skeleton, he was jerked to a stop when it grabbed his robes.

"Hey, fleshie, stop a moment, would you?" it said in a suggestive, female tone.

Snape grit his teeth, refraining from blasting the skeleton into pieces. It was, after all, a rental.

"What do you want?"

"Oh, you just look like a very lonely man," said the skeleton. If she had a tongue, she wouldn't have been running them over her teeth. And that hand was getting dangerously close to his rear. "And I'm a very lonely skeleton."

Snape was taken aback. "Excuse me?"

"Well," said the skeleton. "It's a very hard life, you know, being only bones."

"Ma'am," said Snape in a slow tone. "Am I to understand that you are flirting with me?"

"Ah, give the man a prize."

A few passing students giggled, then ran to their table when Snape glared at them, before turning calmly back to the skeleton.

"As I do not wish to reduce you to a pile of dust," he said slowly and dangerously, "I would suggest that you remove your hand from its location."

The skeleton gave him a sour look before removing her hand and turning her attention to another person. He strode up to the table and plopped down next to Dumbledore.

"Trying to avoid romantic entanglements?" asked Dumbledore. His eyes were twinkling merrily.

"Ha, ha, very funny, Albus."

Prank #10

The morning after Halloween, Snape got up as usual and went to classes. He wasn't surprised to see that a few students were missing out of his first class, probably due to overindulging on sweets. The dunderheads didn't know when to stop eating. So he simply noted their absence in his roll book and continued class as usual.

As he walked through the doorway, he heard a thunderous clap. He started and stayed frozen, but nothing happened. His nose didn't shrink, he didn't change form, nothing at all. Cautiously, he took a step forward. Still nothing.

He shrugged and kept on going, figuring that something must've dropped on the floor above and he was overreacting.

He was so lost in his thoughts, he didn't notice when he bumped into somebody.

"Sorry," he muttered, not sure who it was.

To his surprise, he looked up and saw Professor Vector, who was looking at him with a funny expression on her face. She opened her mouth and when she did there was another loud BANG!, this time accompanied by a flash of light. The two professors were thrown on their backs, their eyes shut tight. Snape passed out when he hit the wall behind him.

It took a few minutes for Snape to come back around and when he did, he wished he had stayed unconscious.

There, a few feet away, he saw his own body. In shock, he watched as "Snape" groaned, then sat up.

"Severus?" asked "Snape." But it wasn't Snape's voice, but Vector's.

"Please no, please no," muttered Snape, closing his eyes, and reopening them. He looked down and felt his stomach turned over as he caught sight of Vector's ample chest.

The high-pitched scream that echoed through the castle made everyone's blood freeze.

In the Gryffindor common room, the Weasley Twins' snickered as they told the Marauders about the success of their suggestion.

"Mr. Prongs would like to congratulate the Weasley Twins' on their efficient use of a touch-activated Switching Spell."

"Mr. Padfoot wishes to thank Mr. Moony for remembering that particular spell."

"Mr. Moony acknowledges the thanks and adds that the effects are only temporary. Two days, at the most, with you two being first-years."

"That's all right," said Fred. "It'll be the best two days of our life."

"And the worst two of Snape's," added George.

Dumbledore was reading a book on theoretical magic when his Arithmancy professor came barging in, red-faced. He put the book on his desk and smiled at her.

"Ah, Septima, what can I do for you today?"

"Albus," said Vector, in a surprisingly deep tone, "I'm warning you right now. If I find the culprits behind these attacks, I will kill them myself."

"Now, now, Severus," said Dumbledore, who had recovered from the shock of hearing Snape's voice emerge from Vector's mouth. "Killing is never the solution."

Vector's eye twitched. "Really?"

At that moment, Snape, actually Vector, emerged from the stone elevator. The look on the man's face was disgust.

"Geez, Severus, do you ever wash your hair?"

Snape just glared at himself.

Ah, yes, a Switching Spell. Yes, I know that that's fourth-year material, but just barely into it. As it is, I do believe there is a slight possibility that that last prank could be pulled off, especially when it was done on their clothing. Animals are much more complicated. But really, when I've only had two suggestions, one of which was credited above, what do you expect? I've got a few more, mostly Christmas ones, bouncing in my head, but that won't be next chapter. Instead, more pranks are on their way, and the next chapter will be up even faster, especially if y'all help out.

My special thanks to the following:

RebeccaRoy, ballerinadoll9, rikkurox, Wotcher-Tonks, Samara Nightshade, Shadowed Ember, and phoenixrising93.

So, please review and tell me what you'd like to see done to poor, poor Professor Snape. Now that Doctor Who series 4 is done and I've seen it all (Thank God for Youtube), I'll be working a lot harder over the next month to get this done. That and I've now started another story that is already mostly done on my computer. Once I get these two done, I'll be able to get back to my main story. I hope.

But enough of me! Y'all review!