I've never been so glad to get into a warm bath in my whole life. My chronic backache is instantly soothed and I immediately relax as the depth of water supports my body. Another contraction takes hold and I draw lungfuls of gas and air as I fight the panic that threatens to creep up my throat. I am suddenly overwhelmed by a tremendous urge to push. It's almost beyond my control not to push but I manage to gasp to Ruth what's happening.

"Ok Rose, I need you to pant, that's it, good." I pant until the contraction passes, I know my body's ready to deliver now and Ruth confirms I'm 10cms dilated. "Ok Rose, you can push as hard as you like now, just do what your body tells you." She smiles at me but I hardly have time to respond because another contraction takes hold and I just have to push.

"I can't take much more of this." The pain is so all consuming now I can't cope anymore, I know I'm panicking but I can't help it. "I can't do this, I can't do this." Then strong arms are wrapped around me and gentle hands cup my face. "You can do this Rose, you are doing it, you're amazing, you're having our baby" I manage to meet his gaze for a moment and the look of awe and love on his face is enough to give me the strength to carry on.

I push again and again and then I hear Ruth's voice. "Rose, I can see the head, look." She guides my hand down and I can feel my baby's head. This spurs me on and I gather every last ounce of strength I have to give another almighty push. It stings and burns but I keep on pushing. "That's it, the head's out, it's out." The Doctor's voice is suddenly higher pitched and choked with emotion. I'm already in tears as one final push delivers my baby and seconds later she's in my arms and she' purple and she's screaming and she's perfect and she's a girl, we've got a little girl. I look at The Doctor and my heart explodes with love. I'll never forget the look in his eyes as he gazes at our tiny daughter in absolute wonder. Tears are streaming down his cheeks and for the first time EVER in all the time I've known him he is genuinely and utterly speechless.

A baby, we've got a baby, a real live wriggling screaming baby girl all purple and blood streaked and absolutely perfect. Rose is already talking softly to her, kissing her face and stroking her head, her maternal instincts kicking in automatically and our daughter responds immediately. Recognizing her mother's voice, she calms down and her whole body relaxes in Rose's arms. Her eyes open wide to stare at her mother intently and I can actually see the everlasting, unbreakable bond between them form before my very eyes. The minute Ruth takes the baby from Rose to weigh her she starts wailing, growing more and more distressed by the second. Ruth is very quick and she's back in under 2 minutes and as soon as she's back in Rose's arms she stops crying.

"She certainly knows who her mummy is," Ruth says, grinning at them.


Rose looks at me, then at our daughter.

"I think you'd like a cuddle with your daddy, little one."

And then she's putting her in my arms and I think my hearts might actually explode. I'm expecting her to cry again at being separated from Rose but she doesn't, she just stares up at me with huge eyes and I fall hopelessly and totally in love with her.

+

Our little girl is 1 hour old, a whole hour already. She is a lovely shade of pink now, and weighs 7lb 4oz. She has huge blue-grey eyes, the exact shape of her father's, long dark eyelashes and my nose and mouth. She has a very fine, velvety covering of hair which is dark like her dad's and her hands and feet look very much like his too. The Doctor and I have been alone for the 15 minutes or so. Once the cord had been cut, (by a very proud daddy!) baby weighed, afterbirth dealt with and baby and me checked, everyone piled in for a very quick peek, then Jack ordered everyone out again to give us some time just the three of us. We just stare at her, neither of us quite believing she is really ours.

+

Three months later…….

It is, without doubt the best way to wake up. The tiny noises our daughter makes as she starts to stir always wake me, my body reacts spontaneously, preparing itself for the early morning feed. I wake up slowly in synchrony with my daughter, listening to the snuffley noises she makes as she kicks her legs and waves her arms. I get up before she starts to cry and go to her crib.

The Doctor is still snoring softly our bed; he sleeps much more often these days, since Holly came along especially. Having a real family seems to have given him a peace he hasn't experienced in a long time, if ever. It's a privilege to be able to give him that. He is the most wonderful father. Every day I get tears in my eyes watching him with our daughter. He spends hours singing to her, reading to her, showing her things. She's only three months old but she seems to take it all in and she absolutely ADORES him. We were close before Holly came along but now our relationship has deepened to a whole new level and it's sometimes a bit overwhelming.

The huge beaming smile I get from Holly every morning just melts my heart. Her whole body displays her delight at seeing her mummy as she jerks her little arms and legs. The Doctor gets an identical greeting if he's the first to get her in the morning. I scoop her up, and breathe in her gorgeous baby smell. She nuzzles into my neck as I carry her back to bed and arrange us both for her early morning breast feed. I study her fine wisps of baby hair, still a dark chestnut brown, her cute button nose and rose bud mouth and those eyes. Her father's eyes, huge and deep 

brown with long dark lashes. Everyone comments on her eyes. Those eyes are fixed on me at the moment, gazing intently as she feeds and I often get the feeling, gazing back at her, that she has seen it all before.

I can't believe how one tiny person has taken over our whole lives in such a short space of time. The TARDIS is unfathomably huge but I think there may well be a bit of baby paraphernalia in every room on this ship. And I don't mind one bit. (neither does the TARDIS, never known her so happy) Rose is the most wonderful mother, an absolute natural. She is so in tune with Holly, she always knows what's wrong and what she needs. I don't do too badly myself and can do everything for her that Rose can —even feed her when Rose expresses milk- but there are times when only Rose will do and although a tiny part of me feels a bit redundant, I love to watch them together, my girls. For the first time for as long as I can remember I am excited about the future and content about the present. The past?... well that's something else but I am so grateful to have this chance to be part of a family, a family I hope will grow in years to come. I have a future.