Authors notes:Hello! I think this chapter might just be the most uneventful in the story, but it's still good and necessary to the plot. XD I hope you people out there like this story so far and hope you continue to enjoy it! Also I will tell you something. Don't write about people having weird dreams. Seriously, I had a dream last night about Orochimaru wearing a wedding dress in a row-boat with Jiraiya. XD

I actually got to sleep after a while. It took some time though, you know with the whole 'Oh-my-fucking-god-I'm-a-fucking-bisexual' revelation and everything.

That's why I was not happy when I woke up. I don't even really know what woke me up in the first place. I let out a groan, not wanting to move at all and just buried my head even further into silky, soft black locks...

Wait... What?

My eyes shot open and I had to keep myself from panicking. Somehow while we were sleeping we had rolled over or something. Orochimaru had his face buried in my neck, his arms wrapped around my waist tightly. I had my arms wrapped around him as well and our legs were tangled together in a way that guaranteed I couldn't just get up without waking Orochimaru.

I was so screwed. He was going to kill me when he woke up. I was so freaking dead.

At least for now I was safe. I could tell by the way Orochimaru was breathing he was still asleep and would probably stay that way for a while. I still had some time to figure a way out of this.

Sadly with my ability to think in a situation like this it would probably just be smarter to pray to god and hope I get into heaven.

Then I felt Orochimaru move. He was waking up. Why can't I ever be right about anything? Seriously, I say he'll stay asleep, and then he wakes up... I did the only thing I could think of that might let me get out of this alive. I acted like I was still fast asleep.

I felt him go completely rigid and he didn't do anything for what seemed like an eternity. Then he did something that shocked me. He just pushed his head further into the crook of my neck and tightened his death grip on my waist. What the fuck? That definitely wasn't what I was expecting. I was expecting the guy to kill me in my sleep not cuddle closer to me!

Then I heard Orochimaru chuckle and say,"You're awake aren't you, Jiraiya?" The tone of his voice made me shiver with the creeps. I could tell me was smirking, his face was still pretty roughly pressed into my neck, and he said calmly,"If I didn't know any better I might think you liked me, Jiraiya. Your heart beat picked up pretty dramatically when I tightened my grip, and you aren't even trying to push me away or anything of the sort at all."

Stupid heart beat... Why must you betray me? I know you're in conspiracy with my arms, that won't move no matter how many times I tell them to push Orochimaru clean off the bed. I feel so betrayed...

I eventually pushed Orochimaru away from me, and said defiantly,"Why on earth would I like you?" Okay. That came out way harsher than I had meant for it to.

His hair was falling in his face so I couldn't tell for sure, but I was pretty sure the smirk on his face was gone when I heard him hiss out,"You're a bastard." And with that he got up and headed for the bathroom.

God. I am just so completely smooth aren't I? Oh, and if you can't tell, that's one of the most sarcastic things I've ever said.

After thinking for a moment and finding nothing but scrambled thoughts and utter confusion I decided I really only had three choices left. None of them were going to be fun for me. I counted out the first one instantly, knowing it would probably end in my funeral and Orochimaru in jail. The second one just wouldn't work because it would involve me telling Madara about how I felt and he would get all mad about me lying to him.

That left one option... One I was determined to put off for as long as possible.

You see the whole 'procrastinating' thing only works when there is something to do other than the thing you are trying to avoid doing. Normally I would play video games or take a shower. Orochimaru was in the shower and I had no video games with me that I wanted to play. Damn.

I let out a groan and picked up my cell phone. I had left it in the charger last night and it was good to go. Ignoring the millions of messages from my mom, I flipped to speed-dial and called the only person I knew would answer. Tsuande.

She was pretty bored so she didn't mind when I started off on this huge ass rant trying to explain my situation to her,"... And that's basically it. What should I do Tsunade? I'm completely clueless when it comes to weird situations! Especially crap like this!" She was completely silent before I heard a muffled snort shortly followed by a flood of laughing. I seriously thought she might pass out or something she was laughing so hard.

Eventually I started to get annoyed with it and said harshly,"It's not funny Tsunade! Actually it's the complete opposite of funny! If you're just gonna laugh at me I'm hanging up." She stopped laughing, for the most part, and said as seriously as she could,"Okay, okay. Don't hang up. I just think it's kind of funny that you always made fun of gay guys and it turns out you are one. You're, like, a gay-bashing gay guy."

"Shut up...", was my oh-so mature sounding answer. I could hear her stop laughing completely and say in a much calmer tone,"Sorry. But seriously, Jiraiya, what do you want me to do? Give you advice in 'courting' guys? I mean really. I'm just as ignorant as you are in this situation."

Oh yeah. That's totally helpful Tsunade... I'm just so glad I called you...

"Thanks Tsunade. That's just the most helpful thing I think you've ever said,"was my reply. "Don't get all sarcastic and butt-hurt on me now,"she started,"You want my honest advice, right? Well, since I know you would never actually just tell the guy you like him, why don't you just try usual flirting techniques? I'm pretty sure a decent number of the same things you try on girls would work in this situation too." Then she was completely silent for a moment before saying,"Okay, just forget everything I said. You're flirting skills suck ass, and not in a good way. Ummm... What is this guy like? You never told me about him at all."

I let out a nervous laugh and said shakily,"You remember the guy I was with at the mall you mistook for a girl?" The response I got was exactly what I was expecting. She laughed for about five minutes straight before pulling herself together somewhat and saying,"A-Are you serious?! Oh, lord, that's rich! I guess I could see why you would like him though. I mean he's... well I wouldn't say hot but he's pretty. In a really weird kinda way."

Without even thinking about it I accidentally thought out loud,"Obviously you haven't seen the guy without a shirt on..." Tsunade just let out another snicker before asking,"You know you sound like a love-struck girl right now, right?"

Oh my god. She was completely right. I did sound like a fangirl. Just kill me now...

I also could have sworn I heard the bathroom door move just now. Probably just my imagination...