I figured since I've ripped on enough products in the real world, that its time that the Azumanga Daioh girls got their own products (with the exception of Kaorin, since she got hers back in chapter 4)…
…
(Chiyo and Yukari are standing in front of the camera)
Chiyo: Yukari, I want to you to cuss.
Yukari: Um…seriously?
Chiyo: Yes, I want you to let out and cuss as much as you possibly can.
Yukari: But…I'm not angry…
Chiyo: Someone stole your car again.
(Yukari goes from calm to peeved in 0.2 seconds)
Yukari: Son of a (female dog in heat), how the (heck) could someone (act of having sexing)ing steal my (screw)ing car?!! I'll show all those little (butt)holes just what (heck) is!!
(Yukari blinks for a few seconds, unsure of what just happened. Chiyo looks into the camera)
Chiyo: Now that's 90 percent cleaner. Mihama Air Filters. Because we don't like cuss words.
Yukari: You mean to (act of having sex)ing tell me that any cuss words I say are immediately censored out?
Chiyo: The airways are being cleaned out, Yukari.
(Yukari looks even angrier than before)
Yukari: (????????) (???????) (????????) Baloney!!!
(Chiyo looks utterly stunned)
…
Kagura: And now I'm going to advertise some sports bras!!
(As she models herself, Kaorin looks on, blushing profusely)
Kaorin: She looks so hot…
Joe: You are seriously getting turned on by this, aren't you?
Kaorin: I'm allowed!!
…
(Tomo and Yomi open up the door to their house to find that Koyomiko has written the 'F' word on the wall in crayon)
Yomi: Oh…my….god…
Tomo: K-k-Koyomiko, what are you doing?
Koyomiko: (smiling brightly) Isn't it nice? It's my colorful vocabulary!
Yomi and Tomo: No kidding…
Koyomiko's crayons! To increase YOUR colorful vocabulary!!
…
(and because she was in the last Saga, she is allowed to be here)
Yotsuba: (Yotsuba smile) Buy Yotsuba Ice Cream!! It's the best Ice Cream there is!!!
Chihiro: That's right! It is!!
Yotsuba: And buy Jumbo eggs!! Jumbo laid them fresh this morning!!
Chihiro: (sweat-drop) hehe…um, that's the size of the eggs….
…
Osaka: I'm here to advertise my anti-clone spray! It's finally perfected!
Arata: And it's cheese-flavored!
Osaka: Guaranteed to kill any clones that come close!!
Arata: So buy now!!
(Disclaimer: Unsureifanticlonesprayactuallyworksduetothefactthatnocloneswerepresenttoactuallytestiton, sideeffectsmayincludeanynormalsideeffectsthatareusuallyassociatedwithcheese, pleasedonotsprayoneyespetsorsmallchildren.)
Osaka and Arata: Ayumu Kasuga's anti-clone spray!! It works!!
…
Joe: Well, Tanaka and Nekosa should be home soon.
(Nekosa and Sakaki come walking in the door)
Nekosa: Look, Okaasan bought a new purse!!
(It is a Necoconeco purse, and Sakaki looks immensely satisfied)
(Sakaki's voice) Necoconeco merchandise, because it's cute
…
Yukari: I WILL kick IcemanX's butt in Halo 3 this time…
Nyamo: Are you sick and tired of losing in Halo 3?
Yukari: I'm not losing!! I'm winning!!!
Nyamo: Do you say you're winning; yet it seems like all the replays say you don't?
Yukari: Well, ya got me there…
Nyamo: Well, just call 1-800-PWN-YOUS, and a certified Halo 3 specialist will be at your door in just minutes to PWN the heart and soul out of your online friends.
(Yukari calls up the number, and her doorbell rings. She runs to answer it to find…)
Yukari: IcemanX?!!
IcemanX: Yukari?!!
Nyamo: (grinning sheepishly) I loved setting that up!
…
Tomo: Tomo Takino Vacuum Cleaners!! They suck!
(Tomo reads her lines again)
Tomo: Hey!! Who wrote this?!!
(Joe is laughing hard in the back)
Joe: Sweet revenge!!
…
Author's Notes: I loved writing that grand finale.
Joe: (big smile) I loved you writing the grand finale.
Tomo: (off-screen) Shut up!!
Anyway, I was writing this chapter as I'm writing the 'Nightmare 2' Chapter for ADR, which means I'm about halfway done with the next saga already!!
Woohoo!!
-JBK2K1