Behold, I have returned!
...I can't think of anything else to say at the moment.
Chapter 4: We're Munchkins, Loser
Colette was in awe. "It's all so shiny!"
Noishe had to agree with her. It was all very shiny.
One particular shiny floated over to them, expanded into a large pink bubble, then burst and revealed a tall woman with shiny wings and a wand with a sparkly star on the end.
"I'm Raine the Good Witch!" said the sparkly lady. "Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?"
Colette blinked.
"You fell from the sky," Raine continued. "Implying you're a witch. Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?"
Raine the Good Witch pointed her stick at Colette, who realized just how pointy the sparkly star on the end was.
"...Er... I'm not a witch?" Colette hazarded.
Raine seemed okay with this answer, as she took the potentially deadly sparkly star away.
"Um... where are we?" Colette asked.
"Munchkintown in the land of Cruxis!" Raine said, smiling.
Colette had no idea what this meant, but was willing to go with it.
"It's okay!" Raine called to the town in general. "You can come out now!"
This was immediately followed by a loud chorus of, "what'd ya land on our town for, loser?"
Every bush and corner and cobblestone seemed to suddenly erupt with tiny people with pointy hats. They looked angry.
"Hi there little ones!" said Colette cheerfully, in the voice one would use to talk to very small children.
"We're Munchkins, loser!" snapped the nearest Munchkin. "You wanna fight?!"
"They're so cwute!" chirped Colette, picking up the nearest one and hugging it, while it writhed and cursed in her grip.
"Hey!" shouted a Munchkin near the ruins of Colette's house. "The loser landed on the Wicked Witch of the East!"
Everyone turned to the ruined house, and saw a pair of shoes sticking out from under the once-building.
"Oh no, I'm so sorry!" squeaked Colette. "I didn't mean to squish anybody!"
"THE WICKED WITCH IS DEAD!" cheered the Munchkins. "HIP-HIP-HOORAY FOR THE LOSER!"
"I'm not dead."
Colette and Noishe turned their heads and saw the witch standing near the ruined house, completely unscathed. She was a petite girl with pink pigtails. She seemed completely unperturbed by the house falling on her. She didn't look very evil either.
"THE WICKED WITCH IS DEAD!" cheered the Munchkins again. Then they started to sing a bright and sunny song about how the mean wicked witch was dead. This would be a highly disturbing imagine to anyone above the age of twelve with more than half a functioning brain.
"Aww... isn't that cute?" cooed Colette to Noishe. "They're singing!"
"SHUT UP!" roared the Good Witch
The Munchkins cowered in fear, with shy mutterings of, "yes ma'am."
Just in case this wasn't clear, the Munchkins are being intimidated by the Good Witch, after celebrating the 'death' of the evil witch.
This is called irony.
"...And they say I'm the wicked witch," the Not Dead Witch Presea said to no one in particular.
This was when, in a puff of evil red smoke, the Wicked Witch of the West Sheena, appeared. The Gnomettes - I mean, the Munchkins all screamed in terror and hid.
The Wicked Witch of the West Sheena looked from Colette, to Raine, and then to the house. Sheena rounded on Raine, who quietly pointed at finger at Colette behind the girl's back.
"YOU KILLED MY SISTER!" Sheena screamed at Colette.
"...I'm right here," said Presea the Not Dead Witch.
"Oh, well," said Sheena, recovering from her grief in record time. "I'll just get her ruby crystal and get out of Losertown."
Sheena approached the ruined home, but as soon as she bent down to pick up the shoes, they vanished with a pop. The Wicked Witch shrieked in anger, before rounding on Raine again. The Good Witch pointed at Colette again.
"YOU STOLE MY SISTER'S RUBY!" screamed the Wicked Witch at Colette.
It was only then that Colette realized the 'Ruby' had somehow attached itself to her neck.
For some reason Colette felt that footwear should be involved here, but didn't want to say anything in case it made her sound too Blonde.
The Wicked Witch Sheena ran up to Colette and made to grab the Ruby, but in a flash of light and a very loud ZAP she was flung back with a loud curse.
"Ha-ha, you got RE-JEC-TED!" shouted the Munchkins from their hiding places.
"SHUT UP!" shouted Sheena, terrifying the Munchkins back into silence.
"As long as this girl hear is wearing it," Raine explained to Sheena. "You cannot touch the Cruxis Crystal - I mean, the Ruby."
Sheena fumed.
"I'll get you, my pretty!" the Wicked Witch Sheena sneered. "And your big dog too!"
Then she disappeared in another evil puff of red smoke. One would almost begin to suspect she had some ninja training in her past.
"That was scary..." Colette said. "I want to go home..."
"Home for you is up in the sky, right?" asked Raine the Good Witch. "Then the Wizard of Cruxis can send you home!"
"You mean he has a rocket that can take me back to Iselia?" Colette asked, filled with hope.
"What gave you that idea?" Raine asked. "Just follow the Yellow Brick Road over there," she pointed to a yellow brick road that Colette hadn't seen before. "And that'll take you to the Emerald City, where the Wizard lives!"
"Why can't you send me home?" Colette asked. "Aren't you magical?"
"DON'T ARGUE WITH ME!" shouted the Good Witch. "Now go down the Yellow Brick Road!"
"Um..." quavered Colette. "Okay."
Colette, with Noishe following close behind, walked to the very beginning of the road.
The Munchkins came out of their hiding places to come and watch.
"Follow the Yellow Brick Road! Loser!" shouted one of the Munchkins.
Colette took a step.
"Follow the Yellow Brick Road!" chanted another Munchkin.
As Colette began to follow the Yellow Brick Road, Noishe close behind, the Munchkins once more broke into song:
"Follow the Yellow Brick Road! Follow the Yellow Brick Road! Follow, follow, follow ya loser!"
And so Colette and Noishe went off to see the Wizard.
And Presea the Not Evil Witch of the East took off too, because being ignored became too boring.