A Voice Within Chapter 3: 3 of 4, an one life to live fanfic

THE VOICE WITHIN (3/4)

Glancing up from the bar to see if anyone familiar had entered the club, Marcie noticed Jen was still hanging on to Rex. She rolled her eyes at the sight. Suddenly, Dreamer walked into view, catching her attention immediately. She headed towards the front of the club, stopping to talk to Midnight Logic quickly before walking onto the stage and sitting down in front of the piano. Sighing, Marcie looked around again, hoping to see someone that she could talk to. Sitting up at the bar was not a favorite past time and she was quickly becoming bored. Her eyes came to rest on Michael as he slowly made his way across the club, heading back to the couch he had vacated earlier.

Sliding her glass completely away from her, Marcie grabbed her purse and spun sideways. She slid off the bar stool, feeling as though she was being guided toward Michael by some unknown force. She didn't remember thinking about leaving the bar or even making the conscious decision to talk to him, but the pull that she felt was too strong to resist. Marcie soon found herself standing in front of him. "Michael?"

Al looked up to see Marcie standing beside him. "Hi, Marce," He greeted her with a smile. "How are you?" Al rose to his feet beside her. "I've just been listening to Midnight Logic. Seems that someone else is about to sing. Want to join me?" He gestured nervously to the couch behind him. He had hoped to talk to Marcie again but this was even better. Al hadn't expected her to come over by herself and actually talk to him.

"Sure," she replied, without any other preliminary greeting. They both sat down awkwardly, their eyes gazing forward. On stage, Dreamer had started to play the piano, her fingers running over the keys smoothly and methodically. An unknown tune filled the club before her powerful, velvety voice started to soar over the music.

Young girl, don't cry
I'll be right here when your world starts to fall
Young girl, it's all right
Your tears will dry, you'll soon be free to fly

Al could only smile as he stared at the stage. She also gets her voice from her mother, he thought to himself. His eyes were glued to his daughter.

When you're safe inside your room you tend to dream
Of a place where nothing's harder than it seems
No one ever wants or bothers to explain
Of the heartache life can bring and what it means

Heartache. Marcie had felt too much heartache in the past few months. It was visiting her in dreams more often. She had admitted to Ron on one occasion that she had been dreaming about Al more and more lately. The dreams were different each time. Some were of an unfulfilled future while others were about the past heartache they had endured.

When there's no one else
Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend
Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength
That will guide your way
If you will learn to begin
To trust the voice within

The conversation that she had with Dreamer echoed in her mind. Was it just a coincidence that the exact words she spoke earlier were contained in the song that Dreamer now sang? What was your voice within anyway? Marcie questioned inwardly, is it listening to your heart instead of your head?

Young girl, don't hide
You'll never change if you just run away
Young girl, just hold tight
And soon you're gonna see your brighter day

Marcie's days had been brighter when Al was alive. He had given her so much hope for a bright future. Al had made her feel beautiful and loved for the first time in her life. Since his death her days had been slowly dimming. Today felt like her darkest time ever because she felt so alone and empty. It wasn't fair that she was alone on Valentine's Day, the most romantic day of the year, and she couldn't share it with her one true love, her soul mate.

Now in a world where innocence is quickly claimed
It's so hard to stand your ground when you're so afraid
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold
When you're lost outside look inside to your soul

Closing her eyes, the memories of their relationship overwhelmed her like a crashing wave. Everything that she had tried to forget because it was too painful to remember suddenly came to the surface. She remembered when they first met. They would fight all the time. Al would call her a freak and she'd snip at him, telling him that he was a loser. She never would have imagined at that point that he'd be the man that she'd fall in love with. Slowly the dynamics of their relationship had changed. She'd begun tutoring him at the request of his mother. Neither she nor Al had been very pleased with the arrangement in the beginning. However, the friendship that ensued as a result of those tutoring sessions led to the drug intervention that changed both their lives forever.

She remembered their summer dates and rollerblading in Angel Square. Smiling to herself, Marcie remembered their first awkward attempt at making love. The time just wasn't right. But when the time had finally come… and everything was right…everything had been wonderful. Brushing a tear from her cheek, she thought back to that first time. The first and only time they'd been able to make love. The experience had been beautiful and Al's gentle touches and caring manner had made it all the more perfect. Soon after that one glorious night, Al fell sick in Atlantic City and never recovered. Maybe if they had never made love he would still be alive. Marcie silently tried to fight the onslaught of tears that threatened to ensue at any moment as she remembered when his spirit visited her. His final goodbye had been so hard for both of them and then she begged him not to leave her.

Yeah...
Life is a journey
It can take you anywhere you choose to go
As long as you're learning
You'll find all you'll ever need to know

Marcie had thought she'd be spending the rest of her life, the rest of her journey, with Al. But that had been taken all away from her. It had all been stripped away too early. Gulping, she remembered that Al told her that she would find him in someone else. Marcie just needed to look deep into his soul to see him. To this day she never understood what he meant. Opening her eyes, she remembered when she first met Michael McBain. Marcie had saved his life in Angel Square that day. Afterwards, he had become a part of her life. It seemed as if he was determined to ingratiate himself into her life, whether she liked it or not.

You'll make it
You'll make it
Just don't go forsaking yourself
No one can stop you
You know that I'm talking to you

As a feeling of warmth engulfed her, Marcie felt a strange sensation in the pit of her stomach. Michael seemed to know things about her that only Al knew. It confused and scared her. It made her want to run away from him. He knew her eye color, her greatest fear and her birthday wish. How could Michael know those details? She never discussed anything like that with him. Those were all intimate details that she thought only Al had known.

This was wrong. She wasn't supposed to be feeling anything for Michael. She admitted to herself a long time ago that she did kiss him back on New Year's Eve. It had unsettled her and she hadn't meant to, but she couldn't help it. His lips had reminded her of Al's. The kiss had been so slow, sensual and passionate. His hands had been molded to her body just like Al's had been so many times in the past. But Michael wasn't the one she was going to spend the rest of her life with, she reminded herself. That was going to be Al but he was gone. Michael could never replace Al in her heart or her head. He wasn't Al and could never be Al even if he kissed like him or cared about her like he once did.

Young girl don't cry
I'll be right here when your world starts to fall

Trust the voice within

Dazed over her memories, Marcie realized the song had ended and joined in with the rest of the clapping audience. Hearing Michael whistle in appreciation for the beautiful song, she was reminded of her own experience singing at Ultra Violet back in August. When she had finished her performance, Al had whistled wildly for her in the exact same way. Turning and looking at Michael, Marcie gasped. Michael stood next to her, clapping and cheering.

But it wasn't Michael at all.