Here's the next chapter. Muse's Uno helped me with some writer's block. Listen if you haven't! But for now, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor any brand names mentioned. They are all property of their respectful owners.

I was going to kill Edward. First my TV, and now this. What I had done didn't cross the line like this did. Not even what I had planned for him tonight was this bad.

After what seemed like a lifetime of shoveling spoonful after spoonful of disgusting brown cake into my mouth, I was going to throw up. Literally. Only I had to wait until we left the restaurant because the all-too-enthusiastic staff wouldn't leave me alone. They followed us almost all the way to our car.

Edward took his sweet time getting the car started and pulling out of the parking lot. The thoughts that I was directing at him were vile—almost as vile as having to eat that much cake.

As soon as we were on the street, safely away, I made Edward stop at a gas station.

Stop now or I won't just think those thoughts to you, I threatened.

He smiled at me through the rear-view mirror.

Damn it, Edward, I mean it.I then shared with him some thoughts that made him grimace. "Fine," was his reluctant reply.

He pulled up to the pump, and I shot out of the back, unable to wait to get the loads of chocolate out of my system. It didn't settle quite as well as grizzly.

The bathroom in the gas station was filthy, and I saw bugs crawling up the walls into tiny cracks. Closing the door and locking it, I bent over the toilet.

It took almost five minutes to get everything out. I flushed it all down, and splashed some water on my face.

When I exited the confines of parasite-heaven, the cashier was looking at me with confusion plastered all over his face. I didn't need Jasper's gift to tell what his emotions were.

I ignored him, and brushed past the only other person in the store, who was busy debating which bag of potato chips to buy. Oh, what a dilemma.

When I got back to the car, Edward already had the keys in the ignition. It was Jasper's luck he wasn't with us, seeing as my emotions would have definitely overwhelmed him.

Alice was giggling almost uncontrollably on the other side of Rosalie, Bella's brow furrowed as she looked at me, Rosalie slid her hand down my knee, and Edward was chuckling quietly in his seat.

I would get the last laugh tonight, though. It was already planned. He wouldn't be chuckling for long, I would be sure of it.

We got to the movie theater in just enough time to still buy tickets. I couldn't imagine why the managers found it necessary to halt tickets sales five minutes before the showing. It just didn't make sense.

With tickets in hand, Edward took Bella to the concession counter while Alice, Rosalie and I made our way to the dark hallway to the right.

When I was sure that Edward was out of hearing range, I told Rosalie to conjure up some intimate moments of the two of us. I needed my mind free for a moment.

"Did you grab it?" I asked, turning to face Alice. She smiled evilly, and I knew the answer.

"When do you think the best time to give it to them is?" I couldn't decide whether it would have a better affect now or later.

"I would say…." She paused, tapping her chin. "After. I'm not going to call any visions, though. It would totally ruin it."

I nodded, considering her opinion. I had to admit that I was leaning towards before, unable to deny how it would ruin the entire movie for Edward.

But if it was after…there were multiple possibilities there, too. I decided to take Alice's advice.

"Okay, we'll go with your idea. But if you're wrong…" I warned.

"Oh, don't worry." She dismissed my concern with the wave of her hand. "When have I been wrong?"

I knew she meant it in jest, but I couldn't help remembering visions of cliff-diving and its repercussions. If I had thought Bella and Edward were inseparable before, it was infinitely worse now.

"Very funny," I responded.

I saw Edward and Bella walking toward us, Edward carrying a large bag of popcorn and a small paper box of candy. Bella looked fed up, carrying the large drink.

"Edward, why did you get Bella so much food? She did just eat," Alice questioned, raising an eyebrow at the sight of Edward holding so much food. "She'll explode if you keep stuffing her!"

Bella blushed slightly. "Yeah, that's what I was saying, but there was no reasoning with him."

Edward sighed. "Well, I've already bought it. Are you asking me to waste this perfectly good food?"

"Perfectly disgusting you mean," I corrected.

"All a matter of perception. I think that you might have had a bad experience with human food recently, am I right?" The glint in his eye was undeniably evil.

"It'll come right back to you, just wait."

"I'm sure it will."

His smugness made me want to get him right there and then, but I restrained myself; Patience is a virtue was the only thing running through my head.

Edward raised an eyebrow in my direction, but I just turned away, pulling Rose along by my side by hand. The other three in our company followed immediately.

We sat down in the middle of the dark room, walking to the middle of the aisle to get in a centered view. Edward sat down next to me, then Bella, and finally Alice. Perfect positioning.

I wrapped my arm around Rosalie at the same time Edward wrapped his around Bella, mirroring my motions. Edward was just asking for some teasing.

About ten minutes into the movie, I leaned over closer to Rosalie, nuzzling my face in her neck. I felt her cheek pull up in a smile, and leaned over more, filling Edward's virgin mind with beautifully impure thoughts.

He punched me with one quick motion, and scowled at me when I looked over. I responded with a smile, and returned to my former position.

This was how the movie lasted. It might have been one of the best movies I had seen in quite a while—no matter that I didn't even know what happened.

The ending credits began to flash across the screen; I stopped my snogging and settled for keeping my arm around Rosalie's shoulders. Bella stretched her legs, and a yawn erupted from her mouth. I almost laughed, but stifled it. Her human tendencies were so entertaining—it wasn't like anything I had been around.

Edward stood up and held out his hand for Bella to take. Alice was already in the aisle waiting for us, so Rosalie and I followed Alice's lead and made our way quickly to the other aisle. We met the other three just outside the theatre entrance, and Edward's arm was securely around Bella's waist, keeping her stable.

"So…" Alice began.

Time to initiate plan two.

"How did you like the movie Bella?" I asked. She smiled weakly.

"It was pretty good. There was just a little too much gore for my taste."

"It's not like you haven't seen worse," I teased. Edward growled at this response, but Bella quieted him.

"Don't do that, Edward."

He looked at her out of the corner of his eye before nodding.

"What are your other plans for tonight?" Alice prodded. I could almost see the eagerness radiating off her.

"Nothing. I just need to get home before Charlie starts worrying. What time is it?"

"It's time to get you in bed," Edward responded.

I couldn't have asked for a more perfect segue. A chuckle broke out of my chest, I couldn't help it. Edward's eyes narrowed—he knew now that something was definitely up.

"Speaking of which," I cued Alice. She unzipped her purse and pulled out a rectangular box, handing it to Bella.

"Just don't stay up too late." Alice's warning was slightly marred by her high voice. Bella's face turned impossibly red, her heartbeat accelerating as she stumbled over words. Rosalie choked on her laughter when she read the large, bold print on the box:

Trojan.

But nothing was more priceless than Edward's face. I thought he was having a stroke, but knew that it was something far more entertaining. His eyes bulged out, and he stopped walking in the middle of the hallway.

One word escaped his mouth in a hiss.

"Emmett."

I grinned, Alice's expression almost matching mine. I didn't know why Edward wasn't mad at her, too, but I was all too willing to take on the full brunt of his anger.

I was slightly confused when he didn't say anything else for almost a minute. Bella's heartbeat had slowed down considerably when he moved again.

This time, he grabbed the box out of Bella's hands and shoved it into my chest. The sides folded easily under his strength, and from the now open sides small silver wrapped squares tumbled to the floor.

People walking by immediately slowed to watch the scene unfold further, but it didn't. Edward left after that without a word, taking Bella by the hand out into the humid summer air.

"How are we getting home?" I asked. Edward wasn't going to wait for us, I knew that much.

"Oh, don't worry. Jasper's going to be here in two minutes. It makes me sad that you underestimate me so," she mocked disappointment.

"I apologize. I should remember that I'm working with one brilliantly evil mind here, shouldn't I?"

Alice and I exchanged a conspiring glance before turning to Rosalie, who wore an amused yet annoyed mask.

"Emmett, you know that there's almost nothing I love more than seeing Edward embarrassed like that. But did you really have to make such a scene out of it?"

"Rose," I urged. "Do you really think it would have been that nice if it were just us at home? No, I wanted other people to see it too. You saw their faces, right?"

She smiled at this. "Well, yeah I did. Still…"

"I promise that I'll keep it subtle next time." And only next time, I thought.

"I think it was totally worth it," Alice contributed with a grin. "But you may have just started the Trojan War." She giggled to herself at the reference, and I laughed.

I bent down to pick up the shiny foil wrappers scattered across the floor.

"If he wants a war, he's got a war."

And I would make sure I won.

So please review and tell me how it was. Constructive criticism is very good!

I don't have an idea at this second for any more, but I will think. Thanks for reading!