Disclaimer: I own nothing and Serene only owns the idea. You will know if either of us ever owned Naruto…which we don't.
Thank yous to Shadow Feeder, attackofthechipmunks, and nwfairy for reviewing. (Gives cookies)
Chapter 2
"KONOHA HURRICANE!" bellowed a genin, smashing his target to bits. Poor tree, it had a good life. Collapsing on the training field, Rock Lee reflected on all that had happened to him today. The only interesting thing was the bizarre weather…and his current break from following his true love around without her consent. A rustling in some nearby bushes snapped the green-clad shinobi from his thoughts. Rising silently, Lee crept over to the bushes, reading himself for an attack. Peering over the top of said bush, however, Lee quickly forgot about fighting anything.
For you see, on the other side of this bush was a group of squirrels, and only idiots fight squirrels. Lee was about to walk away when something happened. Something that made the weird weather look all too normal. One of the squirrels began talking.
"That kid should not be taken lightly! He could seriously endanger the mission! We shall have to remove him from the picture! Blast it, where is that scout! We cannot hope to formulate a plan without any information on this threat!" Lee was too stunned to really process the words coming out of the squirrel's mouth. Squirrels aren't supposed to talk, right? Suddenly, another squirrel appeared, out of breath.
"There you are!" shouted the first squirrel, snapping Lee out of his reverie. "What took so long! You're a squirrel, for heaven's sake! It's not like anyone would be looking for something as insignificant as us to be stealing information! Explain yourself!"
"I got lost, sir. This place is much bigger than our compound, sir. It won't happen again, sir." The second squirrel was shaking rather violently at this point.
"Alright, it better not!" grumbled the first squirrel. "Now what information do you have for us on the three we fought!"
The squirrels are collecting information on people from my village? What is happening to the world that we must fear such minute and un-harmful creatures? If only Lee knew what lie ahead, perhaps he would have though differently.
"Well, sir, I do, sir. The wench's name is Haruno Sakura and she appears to be skilled at jutsus. The blonde's name is Uzumachi Naruto and he appears to be mildly skilled at many things. The last one is named Uchiha Sasuke and he appears to be extremely good at everything but being normal. Oh, and he posses the Sharingan Mirror Eye. That's all I could find on them, though their senseis seemed to be rather threatening."
"Well, I care not for the senseis of these three, for they cannot be more harmful then those we have already encountered! Especially this Uchiha Sasuke! He must be eliminated if we are ever to succeed!"
I do believe these rodents called my love a wench! This demands action! Standing up, Lee burst through the bushes, having failed to notice that the pests seemed to not care much for anyone but Sasuke. (Another annoying habit that will probably get him in major trouble one day.)
"YOU THERE! I DO NOT KNOW WHO YOU ARE, BUT YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO CALL MY LOVE A WENCH! YOU SHALL PAY DEARLY FOR YOUR MISTAKE!" 'Ha, Gai-sensei would be proud of my courage! He always says you should stand up for what you love!'
After Lee's rather loud entrance, the squirrels attempted to retain order, although many were frightened of the green clad giant. Leader Squirrel, the first to recover, moved slightly towards Lee, determined not to be frightened by yet another ninja from Konohagakure.
"Hmm, it seems the wench has a fan! How sad; I'm sure you will be greatly depressed when we kill her!" Lee's face changed from defiance, to outrage, to fearful, to determined, all in about 5 seconds.
"DO NOT CALL MY LOVE A WENCH! AND I SHALL NOT ALLOW YOU TO KILL HER! I SHALL DEFENED HER WITH MY LIFE!"
"Wench," said Leader squirrel. "Wench, wench, wench, wench, wench, wench!"
Lee couldn't take it anymore. "KONOHA HURRICANE!" bellowed the enraged shinobi, attacking the evil squirrels. Unfortunately, said squirrels being so small, they easily dodged the attacks.
"Ah, trying to protect the honor of the Wench, eh? You really must love her!" Leader Squirrel smirked at his cleverness. Not any old squirrel could have figured that out, you know.
"YES, I DO!" said Lee. The squirrels stared at Lee while Lee stared right back. Minutes passed, then:
"Alright then, I shall fight you!" shouted Leader Squirrel.
"Do you think you shall need our assistance?" asked one of the other squirrels nearby. He didn't really mean it, as Lee was much bigger than any of them, but, being part of the group, he was obliged to offer.
"No! I don't think I'll need your help to defeat this kid! I'm pretty sure I can take him!" The nameless squirrel looked extremely relieved, and hurried back to his place in the group.
Lee and the leader of the squirrels stared at each other for a bit longer; then the squirrel threw something at him. Glancing down, Lee saw that it was a nut. After a few more seconds, the squirrel threw another one at him. The squirrel repeated the process for several more minutes.
I guess he is trying to anger me again, thought Lee, watching with growing amusement. But he does not throw hard, nor does he have good aim. I am more likely to laugh than attack at this point.
Leader Squirrel noticed his plan wasn't working. Grr! Why won't this kid get angry again! I have been throwing nuts at him for a while now! No one has that much patience. Pausing in his attack, the squirrel quickly rethought his strategy. He made some quick hand signs; then cried: "Squirrel-in-the-Headlight no jutsu!"
Lee stared, not understanding. This has grown tiresome; I am beginning to doubt they were ever any threat at all. Perhaps it was foolish to think they could harm my love, thought the green clad shinobi. Lee attempted to walk away, but found that he could not move. What? How did this happen? Lee's eyes widened. It must have been that ridiculous sounding jutsu! It's an actual jutsu! Never thought there would be one that sounded that odd…perhaps it is not so bad that I cannot use ninjutsu, for saying such silly things would be highly embarrassing. That, however, was about to become the least of Lee's problems.
Making some more hand signs, Leader Squirrel shouted: "Mountain-of-Nuts no jutsu!" A gigantic pile of nuts appeared over the heads of all present. Using his chakra, Leader Squirrel guided the nuts over Lee; then released the pile. Poor Lee was buried under thousands of nuts.
"Hahahahahahaha! Foolish human! Nothing can defeat my Mountain-of-Nuts no jutsu!" shouted Leader Squirrel, using his obnoxiously high pitched laugh to add effect, even though its effect was simply to annoy all non-squirrels in the area.
"Oh really?" asked on such person. "If it's that powerful, why don't you use it on me?" Turning, the squirrels noticed that Sasuke had entered the clearing. He smirked down at the rodents, taunting them in a way only an Uchiha can.
"Grr! I'll make you pay for what you did to my soldiers, Uchiha Sasuke!" shrieked the enraged Leader Squirrel. Quickly forming hand signs, he bellowed: "Mountain-of-Nuts no jutsu!" Sasuke dodged the giant pile of nuts, as is to be expected from one such as him.
"Perhaps you should have frozen me first?" questioned the young shinobi, still smirking.
Fine, thought Leader Squirrel, then I shall! "Squirrel-in-the-Headlights no jutsu!" Again, the Uchiha heir leapt out of the way. Grr! How shall I defeat him! There is no way…unless… Leader Squirrel threw something onto the ground. A puff of ninja smoke appeared, engulfing the squirrels. When it cleared, they were, obviously, no longer present. Even squirrels are not that slow.
Sasuke sighed. This really was probably the dumbest thing he'd ever lived threw, and he knew Naruto. (Sorry Naru-chan!) Strolling over to the first pile of nuts, he helped Lee the rest of the way out from under the massive weight. "You alright?"
"YES, I AM FINE. I AM SORRY THAT YOUR HELP WAS NEEDED. I SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DEFEAT SOMETHING SO SMALL ON MY OWN."
"It's ok. They may be small, but they're tricky." Sasuke mentally slapped himself. Did I just call those things smart
Lee blinked at him. Did he just call the rodents smart? Deciding to ignore such a thing, Lee moved on to a more pressing matter. "SASUKE, WHERE IS THE REST OF YOUR TEAM?"
"Huh? Oh, they're in the E.N.R.S. (Emergency Ninja Rodent Shelter). I thought they might be safer there."
At the E.R.N.S. ...
Both Naruto and Sakura were sneezing violently. "I wish whoever was talking about us would stop," muttered Sakura. Naruto nodded his agreement before sneezing once more.
Back with the others...
"SHOULD WE TELL SOMEONE OF THIS PEST PROBLEM? PERHAPS THERE IS AN EXTERMINATOR WHO COULD RID US OF THESE USLESS CREATURES?" Sasuke thought for a moment.
"No," he answered. "We'd just look stupid. All animals run when they sense danger, or they attack. These squirrels don't seem to be an exception." Suddenly, the two shinobi were distracted by shouts and yells. Turning towards the sound, they noticed someone crawling through the bushes. Suddenly Naruto appeared. He was badly injured.
"Man," mumbled said ninja, "those things hurt."
"NARUTO, WHAT HAPPENED?" asked Lee, worry for his love creeping into his voice.
Naruto glanced up, noticing the other two boys for the first time. "Those stupid squirrels attacked us. Those little shuriken hurt like mad."
"What happened to Sakura?" asked Sasuke, kneeling down to check the extent of the damage Naruto had suffered. He pulled a few miniature shuriken from Naruto's legs.
"Ow! What it, teme, that hurts! The dumb squirrels took her. I don't know how, I think they knocked her out. They got me away from her before they attacked. Don't ask."
"WELL, WE'VE GOT TO GO SAVE HER!" However, Lee didn't sound so enthusiastic. Even this was a bit much for his youth bound ways. The other nodded; Naruto now standing with Sasuke's help.
"We're in," said Sasuke. "Now all we need is a plan." The other two nodded; faces grim. As if one cue, Naruto fell over, dead asleep.
Well, it may have ruined the seriousness, thought Lee, but this whole thing is rather stupid. Even Gai-sensei could not make this look fun… Leaning the sleeping ninja against a nearby tree, Lee and Sasuke set about trying to think of a plan to rid them of this stupid problem.
TBC...
A/N: I know it's been a while since I updated and I'm sorry. It just took forever to type this thing up. Believe me, I started in June. However, I hope you like it, and that I can update faster. But it shan't be this next week, for I shall be in Canada (waves Canadian flag) yeah for mountains! Please leave your thoughts; flames shall be used to burn the butts of those who left them n.n