Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter or any other character you recognize. The plot, any character you don't recognize, and any pranks mentioned are mine, ALL MINE! MWAHAHAHA! TAKE THAT, YOU EVIL LAWYERS:muse smacks me: Sorry about that.
Chapter 5: The New Neighbor
Click. Clang. Snap. Click. Bang, BANG! "Damn it!" Sirius withdrew his head from his car, scowling, his face dotted with black spots of grease, his hand rubbing the sore spot on the back of his skull.
"Cut that out, Sirius, Harry's listening!" Remus shouted from the greenhouse, where he and Harry were watering the plants. It was the middle of September, and was unusually sunny and warm, so Remus, Sirius, and Harry were spending their time outside.
Sirius made a face in the direction of the greenhouse, and was bending down to retrieve the wrench he had dropped somewhere in the engine, when something caught his eye. An orange, square something.
It was a U-Haul truck.
"Remus, come look!" Sirius yelled. "Someone's moving in." A few moments later, Remus, Harry, and even Uncle Sev had come up front (Uncle Sev had been sitting at the kitchen table grading papers; it was the weekend so he'd taken the chance to come home by Floo). Uncle Sev was, for once, wearing muggle clothes: black jeans, navy-blue shirt, and heeled black shoes.
"Wonder who they are," Harry mused, his face wet (he and Remus had been having a water fight before Sirius had called them).
"Must be moving into the house across the street," said Sirius, as the truck finally stopped.
"Where else would they move?" said Remus. "The only people who have moved recently were the Bookers. Isn't that right, Sirius?" He added the last part in a stern tone.
"Oh, come on, I already apologized for that," said Sirius, annoyed.
"Personally, I'm surprised it didn't happen before the lawn gnome incident," Uncle Sev drawled. "Although I am still curious on what exactly possessed you to charm them to dance the Macarena at three in the morning."
"I was drunk, okay?" Sirius said, scowling at Uncle Sev. "It'd been a rough week."
"So you went and drowned yourself in alcohol when you had a nine-year-old godson living with you?" Uncle Sev asked, arching an eyebrow. "Very responsible, Black."
"Let's just try to make a good impression today, alright?" Remus interrupted hastily, sensing a fight brewing. It was in vain, however.
"Alright," said Sirius. He looked at Uncle Sev. "You'd better go in the house, Snape, or else you'll scare them off."
"You're more likely to scare them off then I am," Uncle Sev retorted. "Especially if you have another rough week."
"It looks like just one woman," Harry interrupted, scrutinizing the truck and the woman that was opening the back of it up. "I guess she's living alone. Can I go and meet her?"
"We all will, right now," said Remus. "She probably needs help with her things, anyway. Come on, you two, and please, try to act serious. Not a word, Sirius," he added warningly, as Sirius opened his mouth. Sirius sighed dramatically, shut his mouth with an audible click, and headed over to the house adjacent to them.
"You need some help with that?" he called.
The woman turned around, a box in her hands. She wasn't very striking – brown hair, blue eyes, tan skin, perhaps a little Spanish blood – and was wearing muggle clothes: cut off jeans, a blue Gap T-Shirt, an old fisherman hat, and old trainers with holes in the front so her toes stuck out. The woman appeared to be in her late-twenties.
"Well, I wouldn't deny needing it, so yes, if it's not too much trouble," she said in reply to Sirius's question. She smoke with an accent that was a lot like Dalton Wilkins', only hers didn't have that slight drawl that Dalton's did.
"You don't sound from around here," said Sirius.
"Nope, I'm from Los Angeles in good old sunny California, in the States," said the woman, smiling at her new four neighbors.
"Must be a big climate change," Remus remarked.
"Not meaning to sound rude, but yes," said the woman, with such feeling that everyone, save Uncle Sev, couldn't help but grin; Harry already liked her. "Don't know how you Brits can deal with it, it'd've killed me. Me is Heather Valderez, by the way. And you are?"
"I'm Sirius Black, the weather-talking man is Remus Lupin, the freaky, pale, vampire-looking guy is Severus Snape, and this adorable little devil standing next to me is my godson, Harry Potter," said Sirius, putting on a winning smile, messing up Harry's hair so that it was even unrulier.
"Pleased to meet you," said Heather, smiling at them. "Not meaning to sound rude, but I really must get this stuff into the house. I've got to go conclude some stuff with my new boss in two hours."
"Well, let me keep my word and help you," said Sirius. "Just tell us where you want your stuff to go."
The next hour and a half was spent lugging Heather's possessions into whatever room she directed them, she herself carrying the less-heavier things. They finally finished, and were sitting on Heather's porch, drinking lemonade Harry had made the day before.
"So, what is your job, if you don't mind me asking?" said Remus.
"Officially, I'm a writer for a newspaper," said Heather, "and I've got a book in the works that I'm hoping to finish. I'm definitely what you would call an academic person."
"My best friends are like that," said Harry. "Those two qualities describe them best. Blaine's the artist and Hermione's the bookworm." Heather smiled at him.
"And you? What are you into?" she asked.
"I like to read, but I'm horrible at drawing," said Harry. "I like to play basketball and football, too. My friend Dalton, who's from Kentucky, said that British football is known as soccer in America."
"He's right," said Heather, nodding. "What grade are you in, Harry?"
"Fourth," said Harry. "I was home schooled, but Remus and Sirius and Uncle Sev wanted me to get to know other kids."
"Correction, Remus wanted you to go to school," said Uncle Sev, shooting said man an irritated look. "Though I am unaware on why he decided you had to go to one that sounds like a hybrid of a tree and grass seed."
"I go to Chestnut Green Elementary School," Harry explained, at Heather's quizzical look. "You have to wear a uniform to go there."
"That must be the bee's knees," said Heather, grinning.
"I hope you're being sarcastic," said Harry.
"Naturally," said Heather. She directed her next question at the three men. "So, what do you three do?"
"I'm a professor," said Uncle Sev.
"Police man," said Sirius (which was partly true; he was an Auror).
"I work at a private library at the university," said Remus (he actually worked in the research office at the Ministry of Magic; in the years since Voldemort's fall, werewolves' rights had steadily grown in number, which was why Remus had access to more, higher-paying jobs now).
"That's cool," said Heather. "I'm actually planning to own my own bookstore one day, so that's a bit like your job."
"A bit," said Remus, smiling politely.
"Might need some help, if I ever do manage to scrimp up enough money to actually do it," said Heather, "once I get this place cleaned up. I had wanted to move here in the spring so I could get all my stuff finished and then get started on a garden."
"You like gardening?" said Harry. "So does Remus! I like to do it sometimes, as well."
"Amazing!" said Heather. "A boy who likes gardening! Britain truly is a wondrous place. When I was a kid I could hardly get my brothers to take turns watering my plants when I was away from home."
"Harry's definitely not an ordinary child," said Uncle Sev, a sliver of fondness in his usually cold black eyes; Lily Evans' son had definitely grown onto him in the past years, just as he had grown onto Harry. "He's more responsible and intelligent than those snot-pickers that are his classmates.
"Uncle Sev!" Harry exclaimed. "My friends don't pick their noses!"
"Perhaps," said Uncle Sevn, not the slightest bit ruffled. "You'd have to watch them every second of every day and night to truly know."
"How do you know they pick their noses?" Sirius threw at him. "Perhaps from experience, Severus?"
"Not at all," said Uncle Sev. "It's just that I had a lot of classmates that did just that thing, particularly a long-haired dog in History class first year."
"Are they always like this?" asked an amused Heather, as Uncle Sev and Sirius began a full-scale argument. Harry was listening, starting to laugh as the taunts and threats got even more ridiculous and creative.
"Pretty much, yes," said Remus. "I often feel like I'm in a war zone. They've gotten better over the years since Severus moved in."
"Why did he move in," asked Heather, "if you don't mind me asking? Is he's Harry's father or something?"
"Of course not, although there was a time when I thought that he would be," said Remus (!). He lowered his voice so Harry wouldn't hear. "Severus was a friend of Harry's mother, even her boyfriend once upon a time. Sirius and I were more of Harry's father's friends, although that changed when James and Lily married. James died a year after Harry was born in a car accident."
"I'm sorry to hear that," said Heather, giving Remus a sympathetic look.
"It's alright, we're all better now," said Remus, smiling thinly. "Still miss him, but it doesn't hurt as much." He took a breath, mentally willing himself to not cry. "Lily died a few years later when Harry was four, from the cold – she caught it after dancing in the rain. She always did like it when it either snowed or rained." Remus smiled at his own words, unknowingly voicing the thoughts of hook-nosed Potions Master (!). He continued. "She shocked us all when we heard she listed Severus as one of Harry's guardians, apart from Sirius and I. Fitting, though, I suppose, especially since he was there when she died in the hospital. I didn't think it would work out – the guardianship, that is. James and Sirius and Severus never got along; they fought like cats and dogs when we were at school; all of us went to a boarding school. It did work out, though – Severus would move in, both had to can the worst of the comments, and Sirius couldn't prank Severus. A little kid at heart, Sirius is."
"He looks and sounds like it," Heather agreed, smiling. "Very rare, since most adults I've met are so serious. It's funny, in my opinion. Sirius is his name, but he's anything but, while most of the adults I've met are not named Sirius but that's exactly what they are. It's a wonderful thing, to be able to keep that child in you even when you're older."
"I've always thought that, too," said Remus. "Must be the dreamers in us."
Heather nodded, smiling slightly, and absently checked her watch. Her eyes widened comically, and she jumped up.
"Oh, dear, I'm going to be late!" she exclaimed. "Sirius, Mr. Snape, as amusing as it is to watch you argue, I'm afraid you're going to take it back to your house. I lost track of time."
"Well, then I guess we'll take our leave," said Remus. "It was nice to meet you, Heather."
"You, too," said Heather. "All of you. Hope to see you soon, but I've got to jet."
"Bye," said Harry, waving, as he and his guardians left.
Heather smiled after them, watching Remus in particular. She really enjoyed talking to him; he wasn't too boring or too immature, but just right. Still, there seemed to be a hidden darkness about him; he was very thin, perhaps too thin than was healthy, and there were shadows in his eyes. That was because there was a full moon coming up, although Heather didn't know that.
There was a dreamy smile on her face, broken only by the bark of a dog that came from somewhere in the neighborhood, and Heather checked her watch again, cursing as she saw she only had ten minutes to get to that meeting.
Remus could wait; right now, she had to find a way to get to her new office in less than ten minutes when it took at least fifteen.
Meanwhile, back at the Most Noble and Ancient House of Marauders, Sirius jostled Remus's shoulder as both he and Severus sat down; Severus to grade papers, Sirius to annoy him. Harry went to the greenhouse to see if his plant had grown any in the past two hours. Remus started to make tea, also making a mental note to go to Heather's to get back the container that had had the lemonade in it.
"I think she likes you, Moony," Sirius teased. "Kept talking to you the whole time."
"That's only because you and Severus were too busy arguing, and Harry was listening to you," said Remus, hoping Sirius couldn't see his red ears. "That reminds me. You didn't say anything too vulgar, did you?"
"No, although he did try," said Severus. "I was careful to stop him whenever he sounded like he was beginning to."
"Oh, puh-lease," said Sirius, sticking his tongue out at Severus. "As if that was the real reason! Anyway, back on subject – she's digging you, Moony! I heard American girls like the quiet type, and you're certainly the quiet type –"
"And you're certainly not," Severus muttered, as he picked up his pen and put a big, black D on the paper in front of him.
"– and I prefer women with long hair, anyhow," Sirius finished, ignoring Severus. "Although her eyes are a very lovely shade of dark blue, if I do say so myself. You could do worse, Remmie."
"One, don't call me Remmie," said Remus, turning around with a full tea pot in one hand and three cups in the other. "Two, stop talking about Heather like she's a bit of merchandise, it's disgusting. Three, we just met, so don't go talking about how nice we would look in front of her or else you'll probably make her think you're a psycho."
"Haven't you learned anything, Remus?" Severus drawled, looking up from another D paper. "He is a psycho."
"Don't push it, Snape," said Sirius, scowling at him. He looked at Remus, impish smile on his face. "Oh, come on, Moony. Even if I was stupid enough to talk to her about how good you two would look in front of her, she would probably laugh. She has a nice sense of humor – a bit brisk, but definitely able to laugh."
"Great, I'll keep that in mind," said Remus absentmindedly, discarding Sirius's thoughts. It was true, he was attracted to her in a way, but she probably wasn't attracted to him; he was skinny, his hair was already starting to get gray (thanks to his lycanthropy), and he wasn't what ladies called handsome.
With those thoughts in mind, he poured the tea for his two fellow guardians, took his own cup and saucer, and wondered into the library (there was also a study, but it unofficially belonged to Severus since he used it the most). He needed to look up what fertilizer would be best for lilies on the Internet (Harry had begged for a computer until he was blue in the face, and "just to keep him quiet" Severus had ordered one for him for Christmas the year before). Remus smiled forlornly as he sat down, not typing anything but just staring at a photo of a pretty red-haired woman with almond-shaped green eyes, holding a young boy about three or four years of age on her lap.
Harry didn't say it, Severus didn't say it, Sirius didn't say it, and Remus himself didn't say it, but it was known, in unspoken but unanimous agreement, that the lily plants were the most important and most taken cared of plants in the entire greenhouse. You just had to see Severus Snape, his usually clean, black-clad figure traded for worn jeans and an old, sometimes dirty shirt, kneeling in front of them with a spray bottle in garden-gloved hand to know it.
It was just one of the ways that the past was remembered.
#&$(!&#!$# #$?&$&$?
What Remus didn't know, was that a certain star-named best friend of his had gone to his own room (decorated in dark red and black), and sat in his comfortable red barber chair with his fingers set in front of him, their tips barely touching, thinking of the past as well, only in a different way.
Sirius Black was not what you would call sensitive; true, he wasn't as careless as most people thought he was, but he wasn't the curly-haired, red-headed chap in the corner reading poetry aloud, either. Even he, though, could see that Remus needed someone.
He'd known Remus since they were eleven and on the Hogwarts Express; he and James had been running from the chaos they'd caused in Bellatrix's cabin (making the floors and walls sticky and the owl cages attracted to hair), Bellatrix screaming for her fellow Slytherins (among them Lucius Malfoy and the Lestrange brothers) to catch them, when they had darted into a spare cabin that had been empty save for a pale, brown-haired boy with dark circles under his eyes, reading a thick and tattered book. Sirius had asked if it was okay that they "hide out at his fort for a while" and the boy had smiled shyly and quietly said that he didn't mind. James had introduced himself, Sirius following, and the boy, in that same quiet voice, said his name was Remus Lupin. The three had been together ever since.
All throughout their Hogwarts years, Sirius and James had chased half of the girls there, James finally calming down in seventh year to try to win over Lily. Both Remus and Sirius had helped him – actually, most of the time it had been Remus, as he had a better idea on how and what James had to change about himself than Sirius did. There were only a few girls, however, that Remus went out with, and the relationships didn't last that long, to Sirius' secret dismay. Privately he thought that Remus deserved a woman more than anyone else in their group did. However, there didn't ever seem to be one that really fit Remus; there was never one that deserved to be that lucky girl sitting on his armrest reading over Remus's shoulder, one of Remus's hands holding her own.
That's why, a little over ten years after graduation, Sirius was ready to start what he considered to be one of his most important mission plans (and that included those that he came up with when Voldemort was in power). He was going to help Remus get a girl…and not just any girl. Remus was going to get the one girl that Sirius had seen him really connect with, who had really seemed to fit and stick in every situation Sirius could think of that Remus could ever be in.
He was going to get Heather Valderez.
However, Sirius knew he wasn't going to be able to do this on his own. He was going to need help, and there was only one person in the whole world that he trusted enough to make this work (apart from himself). A decided look on his face and a mischievous twinkle in his right eye (usual characteristics that always appeared when he was planning something big), Sirius got up from his barber chair, went over to his desk, sat down, got out a quill and a piece of paper, and began to write.
A woman was always required in a matchmaking scheme, after all.
(!) Reread chapter one. I've edited it a bit, as well as chapter two.
(!) Once again, reread chapter one.
There it is, chapter five. The idea of a female character has been tugging at my brain for quite some time now, so Heather Valderez has come into being. Like her, dislike her, not sure yet? Let me know. I'd love to hear your opinions.
By the way, a known (but not familiar) character will be entering the picture next chapter. Anyone want to venture a guess on who it is?
Also, does anyone think I should change the summary of the story? Let me know in a review, because I am considering it.
JeanieBeanie33
P.S. I've written a one-shot songfic based on Kenny Chesney's "Who You'd Be Today," sat in Severus's POV. I think that L/S fans would like it, so if you're one of them/don't mind reading the pairing/want more information on Lily and Severus's relationship in ASC universe/want more information on Severus, I recommend it.