Disclaimer: Naruto is not ours, but parts of the idea actually belong to me this chapter!
A/N: Alright, months later, the home stretch!….
Dawn broke as the four genin made their way to the clearing. The whole thing screamed trap, but at this point, none of them cared enough to think up another plan. The whole thing was a bit stupid, really, and the only surviving goal was to end the entire ridiculous thing before it got any worse. Little did they know…
"Hmph, you actually showed up, Uchiha Sasuke." Slightly to their left Leader Squirrel emerged from the mass of squirrels that ringing the clearing, making escape nearly impossible. " I was thinking you'd be too scared to show your face, even after you sent that message."
Sasuke smirked arrogantly. "Funny, I thought that same of you." Leader Squirrel scowled back while Inner Sakura cheered wildly for Sasuke's 'cleverness' (is it clever or scary when you think like the bad guys?).
"How dare you say such a thing about our Leader!" One of the Scout Squirrels leapt out of the ring, enraged at the Uchiha's comment. At a look from their Leader, the other squirrels quickly dragged the rogue back into the fold, hushing him immediately.
"Now now, Scout. Let him say what he likes. He is about to die."
"Oh really? Than what are you waiting for? Get on with it."
"If you insist," replied Leader Squirrel calmly. "Squirrel-in-the-Headlights!"
Sasuke leapt easily out of the way of the jutsu, though the squirrels behind him weren't so lucky. "Please tell me that's not the only jutsu you know. This fight won't be any fun if I can doge everything you throw at me."
"Indeed," agreed Leader Squirrel, and there was a general murmuring of agreement. Even Naruto and Lee were nodding. Sasuke sighed. Why were all his teammates embarrassing? "And because of this, I've saved one especially for such a circumstance. Guess-Which-Nut Jutsu!"
Three large acorn halves appeared above Leader Squirrel. Scurrying under one of them, the nuts immediately began to switch around quickly, finally coming to a stop. Sasuke stared at the sight. He wasn't doing this. He couldn't possibly be risking a fight on something so stupid.
"All you have to do is guess which nut I'm in. Mind, if you guess wrong, the nut will blow up!" Resigning himself to this game, Sasuke loosed a kunai at the right-most acorn. The resulting explosion blew everything to the edge of the clearing and deposited and very displeased Uchiha on a now even more annoyed Uzumaki.
"Get off me!"
Sasuke rolled off sans objection. Watching the smoke clear, he smirked at the blonde. "You know, if this ninja thing fails, you could become someone's pillow." Naruto scowled back and stood up.
"Where's the coward hiding?"
"Unfortunately, that is not for you four to know." The voice reverberated around the clearing amusingly, lacking the deep baritone to make it ominous. "As you are no longer amusing, or even really anything above a complete and total nuisance, this dual is over." The genin looked at each other. "Squirrels, attack!"
The following battle was intense. Fur flew in every direction, while nondescript yells filled the air. Occasionally a discernable "what the-" or "ow!" could be heard, but for annoying rat-like creatures who's saving grace is their amazing tails, the squirrels were putting up an amazing fight.
Minutes later, the four genin were thrown back into the centre, Sakura and Naruto landing squarely on Lee, and Sasuke missed the pile entirely. As the squirrels retreated back to the edge of the clearing, Leader Squirrel came forward, tiny arms crossed in triumph. "Well, it seems you genin can put up quite a fight. But for no avail. It was fun while it lasted, but now you really must die."
"Aw man," moaned Naruto. "If only something ridiculously convenient would happen."
"Like someone showing up to save our bacon?" asked Lee, pushing the other two off of him.
"Yeah, something like that."
On cue, several oversized shuriken flew from the trees, taking out an entire section of the squirrel border.
"What the-" Leader Squirrel stumbled back, watching cautiously as the shuriken returned to its master. Silently, the nin drops from the tree.
"Iruka sensei?" Sasuke gaped at his formed sensei as Naruto flew over to give the man a hug. Deadly situations are no reason to change tradition.
"You looked like you could use some help," gasped Iruka, gently prying the blonde from his ribcage. "And I've nothing better to do."
Behind him, Sasuke heard Leader Squirrel gasp. "It's you!"
Iruka blinked and looked around, finally spotting the infuriated rodent. "Oh, you."
Carefully, Naruto backed away from his now annoyed sensei. Apparently, this wasn't the first time these two had met.
"Of all the," Iruka paused, watching the small animal, "things…to be behind today I wasn't expecting you,"
"No!" howled Leader Squirrel.
"Timmy!"
The surviving squirrels gasped as they turned to stare at their leader. "Sir, say it isn't so! That can't be your name!"
"Timmy?" whispered Lee as Sakura tried to not to laugh. "What kinda name is Timmy for an evil-"
"Rodent?" asked Naruto, grin stretching from ear to ear. "Who cares? It fits with the rest of the plot."
Sasuke coughed softly. "Can we just end this?"
"Sure!" chorused the others.
With the help of their old sensei, the genin quickly dispatched with the rodent infestation, leaving only Leader Squirrel/Timmy.
"No, you can't, you mustn't!" cried the squirrel, cowering.
"Why not?" Iruka asked absently, pulling a kunai from the pouch on his leg.
"Because…because…" With a poof of smoke, Leader Squirrel vanished from the clearing. Sighing, Iruka replaced the kunai.
"Alright, now what's going on?" Sasuke whirled to face his former sensei. "This is the most ridiculous thing EVER!"
"Not really," answered Iruka. "You'd be surprised at some of the things Konohagakure has come up with over the years."
"Oh really?"
"Yeah."
"Such as?"
"Such as those squirrels were trained be jounin from this village."
The four genin stared at Iruka, blinking in disbelief. "You're kidding right?" whispered Lee.
"I wish I was." Iruka sighed again, sitting on a nearby log. The genin sat in front of him, except Sasuke, who's too cool for such things as sitting. "Apparently, years ago, the Hokage came up with the idea of forming a Ninja Squirrel Unit, or NSU. By doing so, they would have extremely small operatives who could do missions, such as spying and retrieving, much easier than a full sized human. Of course, it didn't work. The squirrels…were trainable, but mercenary, so they left when they thought something better lay outside loyalty to one particular village."
"Why have we never heard of any of this? Even in passing it's never come up anywhere!"
"Probably because before now, it was on a much smaller scale, easier to cover up."
"This is the most idiotic thing I've ever heard of," shouted Naruto.
"That would be the other reason," replied Iruka. "Do you really think anyone would take seriously a nation that considered resorting to squirrels as a major defense?" The four nodded.
-
Meanwhile, Leader Squirrel had finally made his way back to the Base, quickly hurrying to the main audience chamber. He wasn't looking forward to this, but it had to be done. He had to know what happened.
Bursting (as much as a squirrel can) into the room, Leader Squirrel launched into his report/excuse. "Lord Orochimaru, I-"
"That's funny," hissed a voice, "I thought I told you not to return until you had defeated Konohagakure. You don't look like a squirrel whose been particularly…successful."
"My lord, we were overpowered. We were so close, but-"
"Close only counts in horseshoes!" thundered Orochimaru, anger positively flowing off of his pale form.
"It was that damned Uchiha Sasuke; he held us off until backup could arrive. Please, if you'll only give me more troops, I can-"
"Enough! This is not the first time you've failed me, but it will be your last."
"No…NO!" Terrified, Leader Squirrel ran for the door.
"And they said you were the best…pity." Absently, Orochimaru reached over and pulled on a rope hanging from the wall. The floor vanished, dropping the squirrel into a vast pit filled with vipers. The floor reappeared, cutting of the squirrel's shrieks of terror.
Orochimaru sighed and made his way from the room to his office near the back of the compound. "That's the third one this week. What does it take to get good henchmen nowadays? And the nins are worthless for this kind of thing. I-"
The Sanin paused when he saw someone was already sitting in his chair. Slowly, said chair turned, revealing Uchiha Itachi, smirking widely.
"Did your little squirrel plan fail?"
"What are you doing here?"
"You owe me twenty dollars." Itachi clasped his hands in his lap, smiling sweetly. "And you promised to back off if your plan failed. It's my turn to attack Konohagakure."
"And how do you know I'll keep my word?" grumbled Orochimaru.
"Because you're not willing to risk breaking it," replied the Akatsuki, still smiling. Growling, Orochimaru stalked from the room, leaving a laughing Itachi behind him.
"Stupid Uchihas."
- Two weeks later-
It was yet another beautiful day in Konohagakure, and our heroes have decided to test out the new smoothie stand that had opened down the street. Walking outside, they notice the sky darken, the wind pick, the noise level drop.
"Oh no," moan the three genin as a voice shouts:
"Prepare yourself, for we are….!"
The smoke clears revealing-
"Ninja Bunnies!"
fin
A/N: Well, it's done. It took…a while…a long while…but here's the ending. Hopefully the next one will get posted a little faster. Of course, it would really help if I found the story…heh heh…