AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hey guys! Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I have a lot of school work to do. I will update as often as possible. Sorry again for the delay!!
After switching Tanya's perfume for the smell of werewolf, which utterly disgusts vampires, I wasn't sure how Tanya would retaliate. I was on my guard for two straight weeks before I decided that it would be a while, so no need to worry. After all, Alice would warn me.
Edward an I were sitting in the Family Room watching Phantom of the Opera, when Edward suddenly stiffened and pulled me closer to him. The front door slammed and Tanya walked into the room with Mike, Jessica, Lauren, and Tyler. What? Where was Alice? Why didn't she warn me? Then I saw her cell phone on its charger and remembered she was hunting with Rosalie. Oh crap crap crap crap! I would have to do this alone. I snuggled as close as possible to Edward.
"I expect the two of you already know Mike, Jessica, Lauren, and Tyler?" Tanya asked sweetly.
"Hmm? Oh yeah we already know them," I said.
"Why don't you boys sit with Edward while us girls change," Tanya suggested. Mike hurried over and sat next to me. I scrambled into Edwards lap and kissed his cheek.
"So you two are getting married?" Mike asked.
"Yes!" Edward and I said together with huge grins.
"So before you are completely out of my reach wanna go to the movies on Friday Bella?" Mike asked trying to do Edward's smirky-smile and failing miserably.
"Mike?"
"Yes?" Mike replied sounding hopeful.
"I would rather have my eyes gouged out with a kitchen fork than go out with you. What part of 'I'm getting married' do you not understand?"
"You could still just go for one date with me!" Mike said pleading.
"Aren't you dating Jessica?" I asked raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah but she wouldn't mind just one date with you," He said still pleading.
Then an idea popped into my head. This could work out just fine.
"Fine. Mike I will go on one date with you. Edward let's go. We have some shopping to do," I said pulling the stunned and hurt looking Edward off the couch.
When we were safely in the car and far out of Tanya's range of hearing, I spoke up, "You better not be mad at me."
"I'm not," he nearly whispered.
"You sure look like you are!" I retorted. "This all is a trick!"
"How so?"
"We are going to make Mike look like an idiot on this date."
Edward's phone rang from where it sat on the dashboard. I snatched it up.
"Hello?" I asked.
"Bella?" Rose's voice asked.
"Yes?"
"Alice wants to talk to you," she said,
"Ok"
"Bella?" Alice said. "When you get to Party City, stay there. Rose and I will get there three minute and 17 seconds after you do. We have lots to get Bells. Oh and by the way?"
"Yeah?"
"You are a complete and total genius!"
"I know!"
SATURDAY NIGHT
Date night with Mike. Mission Make Mike Look Like the Loser that he is begins.
Alice had dressed me in a short, shiny, silky black dress with black high heels. My hair, which was now formed into an intricate braided bun, had taken three hours to do. While Alice was busy with my hair, Rose painted my nails a deep shimmering burgundy.
When Mike arrived, he was wearing the best pants for all of the pranks we would be pulling and the worst for him. His pants were a light khaki. MWAHAHAHAHA! Alice crept around behind him and lightly sprayed brown all over the back of his pants.
"You look great Bella!" he said straightening his navy blue blazer.
"Thanks," I answered with a fake smile.
"Are those the in-laws to-be?" he asked looking toward Esme and Carlisle.
"They basically are my parents. They are both really great people and treat me like a daughter."
"You will be our daughter soon," Carlisle said with a smile.
"Ready to go?" Mike asked.
"Yeah pretty much," I turned to the piano where Edward sat trying very hard not to kill Mike. I walked over to him and kissed him.
"Don't do this," he whispered low so Mike couldn't hear.
"It's gonna be funny!" I said kissing him again. "I love you!"
"Love you too Bella," Edward answered and turned to his piano and began playing my lullaby. A real smile stretched across my face. When I reached the door way, I turned back to look once more at Edward. He turned as well and mouthed "Love you."
Carlisle and Esme walked us to the car.
"Be back by eleven thirty!"
Mike opened the car door for me. Sitting right smack in the middle of it was a condom. A condom with white hair conditioner in it, not that Mike knew it was hair conditioner. He quickly picked up the condom and shoved it into his pocket, turning a brilliant red. I pretend to look ticked but I was holding back my laughter at Mike's expression.
When we finally reached the restaurant, we were escorted to our table.
"Cullen's not the only one who can take you to expensive places!" Mike said with a Cheshire cat grin.
"So I see," I said studying the place. The table cloth was gold. In the center of the table there were fake pine cones and wild berries. A full, unopen bottle of champagne stood closer to Mike's side of the table. There was a beautiful chandelier over our heads and in the center of the room, people were waltzing to music played by a small orchestra which sat at the top of the room.
Mike ordered me some sort of French dish. I let him choose because I wasn't going to eat it anyway.
"Care to dance?" he asked gesturing towards the couples.
"Sure," I said getting up.
Mike pulled me towards everyone and roughly yanked me close to him. We began to trip a sort-of waltz. I food was set down at the table but we continued to dance.
The lights in the great chandelier above us flashed. That was my cue. I tripped forcefully into Mike, sending him into the nearest table but pulling away before he could take me down with him. Wine, potatoes, steak sauce green beans, were all over him. He looked like a walking buffet. I couldn't help but laugh at the sight of him.
"Sorry Mike," I said still giggling.
"It's alright," he said with a phony smile, "lets go eat."
When mike sat down there was a long squelching noise. I pretended to glare at Mike. He looked very disgruntled.
"So what is this?" I said picking at the food with my fork.
"Some sort of steak," Mike said with a proud grin.
"MIKE!" I whisper-screamed, "I'm a vegetarian!" I shoved the plate away from me with a fake look of disgust on my face.
I looked up at him. He was staring into the crowd of dancers. I saw little Alice there, dancing with an old man. Mike was staring intently at Alice's not-very-well-covered legs.
"Mike? MIKE!" I said waving my arms pretending to be desperate to get his attention.
"Wha-what? Sorry Bells-"
"DO NOT CALL ME 'BELLS'!" I said. Actually upset now. I didn't even let Charlie call me that anymore. Jake had called me that and it hurt to think of him.
"Im sorry!" he said. "Would you excuse me for a minute?"
I grinned wickedly as he went towards the crowd of dancers. Looking for Alice.