Title: To Catch A Writer

Author: DoubtableSanity

Summery: Mortimer has been assigned to get Sirius Black's memoirs and she can't go home until she gets them. The only problem is he's avoiding her. But Remus isn't.

Disclaimer: I own only Mortimer. JKR owns HP and all character in the series. I just constantly try to kidnap them.

Author note: A bit of OOC in all characters.

CHAPTER 3

Laughing and running for your life is never a good idea for two reasons.

1.) its harder to breathe, hence you get tired faster.

2.) It really pisses off the person chasing you even more.

As we were running I saw Remus turning all shades of red and purple from the exertion of laughing and running for our very not so pain filled lives …again. Yes again. After about 5 minutes of running top speed, I got it into my head that maybe Severus wouldn't try to kill his own daughter. I know he can be very cruel but he is still human. I blame the oxygen deprivation for that thought.

Fortunately for us he didn't expect for us to stop so suddenly and nearly knocked him self out trying to stop. I didn't hear what Remus was trying to tell me, I mean really how could I had to deal with a murderous father. A murderous father that could make pain and temporary insanity seem like candy canes and lollipops, bloody candy canes and lollipops.

Unfortunately, I was wrong, really wrong, perhaps I should have let go of Remus' hand before I called out "daddy." The moment I did he took one look at our hands then tried to hex us, notice I said tried. He tripped over the rug in the room and missed us. oh crap he missed. Danger! Danger! Run Forest Run!

One thing I learned about dad growing up was his aim was good, really, really good and missing his target just plain pissed him off. Believe me my but remembers the spanking hexes missed ones and not. So we dodged the next hex he shot, then ran for our lives again. We I ran as I dragged Remus laughing his ass off his incredibly adorable ass off. I seriously need to ask my shrink about my ass fixation, or rather my fixation over his ass.

Seeing a red light fly past our heads barely missing us , I ran into the nearest room dragging Remus into it behind me.

"don't close…" I closed it before he could finish "the door"

I put my back against the door and slide down "why?"

"oh I don't know, maybe because it's a prison room you decided to drag us into." I liked it when he tried to look nonchalant in the beginning, but by the end he looked pissed "The only prison room in this area of this house! And only a Black can open the door." By this time he was pacing fast and hard.

I got up so I could stop him from pacing. "well it's a good thing your friends with a Black, because as soon as he gets back he let us out" watching him turn away. This is the moment when dread walks up punches you and says 'have a nice day'. "…right?"

I saw turn around with a sheepish look, damn, " I kind of pulled a prank on him before he left and a have a follow up for the moment he gets back". and father said he was the responsible quiet one. Responsible and quiet my ass! he started pacing and wringing his hands again.

"it couldn't have been that bad." when I saw him turn around with a mischievous grin I knew it was. "did you read after the final battle about Sirius and a few other unregistered animagus sneaking in to attack Voldemort's forces from the rear. Well, Sirius' form is that of a dog. Well I set him up with a Blond prettier than a puddle."

I remembered their forms very well, I saw them sneaking in but I didn't send up the alarm like I was supposed to. I really hated Old Voldie Boy. Dad and Harry always laughed at that nickname when I said it.

"What did you do?"

"Nothing just a bit of transfiguration" Note to all women and men never trust a one Mr. Remus J. Lupin when he gives you that shit-eating grin coupled with that sentence.

Then it clicked "anything transfigured wants to revert to it's original form. When?" don't tell me. Oh crap please don't tell me.

"During a very strenuous activity. He ran out screaming, naked, and still wearing a condom. Poor Harry didn't see him till Sirius ran into him and sent them both crashing to the floor." he was looking up as if he was truly enjoying the memory.

I grinned " always enjoyed to rear view." he turned away to pick up a pillow. oh that derrière could condem me any day. Looking back I heard him whisper "not as much as you" damn! I got red paint on my hands.

I will try to update more often but I am having computer trouble so bear with me. Also if anyone wants to be my beta reader I would really appreciate it, just leave your email address in a review.