Title: So Far From Normal

Author: Seether79

Characters: Jack/Ianto, Team

Rating: R overall

Spoilers: General spoilers for both seasons

Summary: Ianto isn't sure of what he wants anymore

Beta: lj user"the9thdoctor" at lj user"plotbunniesinc"

Author's Notes: Set after adrift

Warnings: Mentions of Jack/someone else, nothing serious

Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood (There would be a lot more boy action if I did)

Chapter 3: Map of the Problematique

Jack Harkness had that look across his face that Ianto hated with a passion; the look that said 'I just fucked someone else and I don't feel even the slightest bit guilty for it'. He was Captain Jack Harkness – he could fuck as many people as he wanted, and still come home and give his sort-of-boyfriend a good shag as well. Every time this happened Ianto could feel the bitterness rising in himself, and then the self-annoyance because he was the guy that stood back and said nothing. He didn't know how he managed it, but every time this happened he ended up being angrier at himself then he was at Jack. He really had no right to be angry with the Captain, after all the older man had never promised him anything. "Did you have a good night?"

"No, it was quite disappointing." Was all Jack said in reply and all he would say on the subject. They both seemed to have an un-said rule between them that they didn't talk about Jack's conquests. Jack always seemed to make his way over to Ianto's flat after going out, Ianto really wished he wouldn't.

"Sorry." Ianto said but he really didn't feel it. A childish part of him was quite pleased that Jack was disappointed with his pull.

"Well, you could always help make it better." Jack told him with a devilish grin and Ianto had to control himself so that he wouldn't roll his eyes; he wasn't particularly in the mood for this tonight.

"I'm a bit tired" Ianto told him. Moving so that he wasn't as close to Jack as he had been, knowing that if Jack touched him he would change his mind immediately and let him do whatever he wanted.

"Oh." Jack said with a surprised tone that Ianto had been expecting, after all he had never turned him down before.

"Sorry." Ianto said not really meaning it once again.

"Nothing to be sorry for." Jack told him, looking at Ianto oddly.

"But I'll see you tomorrow" Ianto said giving Jack a fake grin that Ianto had down to an art form now.

"I think you don't give me enough credit, Ianto; I pay attention to you and I know that smile is one hundred percent fake." Jack told him, sounding quite smug in Ianto's opinion.

Ianto really thought he had Jack fooled and was surprised to learn the Captain already had that look figured it out. "Caught me." Ianto laughed nervously. He moved even further away from Jack, almost as though if he was close Jack would be able to sense what he was thinking.

"What's wrong, Ianto? And no more of this 'everything is fine' stuff, because its crap and we both know it." Jack asked him with a concerned face.

"I'm tired." Ianto simply replied. He didn't know how else to explain, how to put words to the things he'd been feeling and thinking lately.

"That's not all, Ianto, and I know it, you've been acting strange for weeks now. Even Owen is concerned." Jack told him, looking directly at him with his bright blue eyes and Ianto wished he would just look away.

"You've been talking about me with Owen." Ianto said, sounding annoyed. He really didn't like the thought of his team mates sitting in the Hub and talking about him when he wasn't around.

"Only because we're worried." Jack said calmly. Ianto knew what he was doing, trying to keep control of the situation; Jack always had to be in control.

"Well, nothing to be worried about so you two can stop chatting about me and talk about something else, like death. You two have that in common." Ianto replied, sounding far more bitter then he had intended – he knew that really wouldn't help the situation.

"Why can't you talk to me?" Jack asked him with such affection in his voice it actually made him feel guilty; which in turn made him more upset about this conversation he really didn't want to have, not yet.

"Jack, what century do you live in?" Ianto asked sounding annoyed and desperate all at once; he wished Jack would just think about things and work this out by himself. He knew he wasn't making any sense but he really didn't care at the moment. "You live in the 21st century not the 51st, when are you going to realize that?"

"What?" Jack asked, confused. Ianto knew Jack would have no idea what he was going on about and he really didn't want to explain it any further. He looked at Jack sadly before walking down the hallway into his bedroom and locking the door behind him. He could hear Jack's footsteps following him and heard the older man try and open the door. "Ianto! Let me in, I want to finish this."

"I just want to go to sleep, Jack. Please could you just leave?" Ianto pleaded loudly so the Jack could hear him on the other side of the door. He personally was surprised it took him this long to crack; Jack had done this same routine to him so many times now that any normal person would have kicked him out months ago, but Ianto was in love, he hated admitting it but he was, but the problem with love was when you have someone you care about you really don't want to share them with anyone else; the problem with loving Jack was he had no real issues with the sharing.

"I'm not leaving!" Jack shouted and he could hear the older man's body moving against the door. "You're upset and we all know you do stupid things when you're upset."

"Thanks, Jack," Ianto replied sarcastically. "Like saying that is really going to make me want to talk to you right now."

"Ianto," Jack said, frustration lacing his voice. "Please just open the door and we can have a cup of coffee and talk about things."

"I don't feel like talking right now." Ianto replied softly as he let his body slide down the door, leaning his back against it and placing his arms across his knees; this was going to be a long night.

"Well, I'm worried about you." Jack told him.

"You sound as though you care." Ianto said, quietly.

"Of course I care." Jack replied, sounding as though he just got slapped across the face.

"People don't come over to their... lover's house right after they fuck someone else when they care. That's not normal, Jack." Ianto told him and was surprised at how good it felt to finally say it.

"That's what this is about." he heard Jack mutter to himself. Then there was silence for what seemed like forever before Jack finally spoke again, "You're right, I should think about these sorts of things... Different times and all."

"Jack, you have been living in these times longer than I have... You think it would have occurred to you by now that people don't enjoy having it rubbed in their faces." Ianto replied with an eye roll even though the older man couldn't see it.

"I'm sorry okay. I won't come see you after I... I'll be more considerate for now on." Jack told him and Ianto could hear the honesty in his voice. He sighed to himself, it wasn't everything in fact it was only the tip of the ice berg but at least it was something.

"I'm opening the door." Ianto mumbled suddenly feeling very embarrassed over the fact that he had locked himself in his bedroom like a silly teenager. He opened the door and Jack smiled nervously at him. "Coming in?"

"No, I think I might go back to the Hub." Jack told him as he pulled Ianto to him and hugged him tightly. Ianto tried his hardest to ignore to smell of another person that was on Jack's clothes. "You should get some rest."

"Okay." Ianto replied, not really sure on how to act at the moment.

"But I want to talk about this tomorrow, really talk." Jack told him as he kissed his forehead. "Sleep well, beautiful. I'll lock the door when I leave."

"Okay." Ianto replied wishing he could think of something else to say other then 'okay'. He watched as Jack disappeared down the hall and waited until he heard the click of the lock before walking over to his bed and dropping down on it. This had not been what he was expecting from his evening and he felt more emotionally exhausted then ever. He really wasn't looking forward to work the next day; sometimes he wished he could just stay in his flat for the rest of his life.

He had felt Jack's gaze on him all day, following him where ever he went. It was driving him insane; if Jack wanted to talk to him then he should just talk, instead of stalking him with his eyes. "Stop doing that." Ianto told him when he delivered Jack's afternoon coffee.

"What?" Jack asked with an innocent voice.

"Watching everything I do. It's very unnerving." Ianto replied.

"What can I say, I love checking you out." Jack grinned. "Sit down."

"Are we finally having the talk?" Ianto said in his usual sarcastic manner, but he only did it to cover up how nervous he was feeling.

"I've been thinking and I don't think we need to have that talk; well, we do, but not right away." Jack told him and Ianto couldn't hide the surprise that crossed his face. He really hadn't been expecting that to happen and it was a pleasant relief.

"I'm glad." Ianto told him with a small smile. "Why the change?"

"I realize that I can be very careless towards the people around me. I don't really think about what I'm doing till it's already been done. I'm going to change my behavior and take you into account before I do things. I'm not going to stop," Jack paused and Ianto knew what he was saying. Jack would still sleep with other people, but he would stay away from him on nights when he did. "Do you understand?"

"Yes. Thanks." Ianto told him. He wasn't sure how he felt about this whole thing. A part of him was so happy that Jack actually cared enough to take his feeling into account and the other part of him knows that this was only a band-aid for a bullet wound. It still wouldn't change the fact that Ianto only wanted to be with Jack and only wanted Jack to be with him, that Ianto wanted a normal relationship. But for now he was content with the small changes because he knew that the only real solution was giving Jack up, and he wasn't prepared to do that.

"Do you want to go out tonight, on a date? It's been too long since I've taken you out." Jack asked him.

"Yeah, that would be nice." Ianto answered, genuinely happy with prospect.

After a few minutes of silence Jack looked up at Ianto taking his hand before asking, "Will you please come to me and talk when something is bothering you. I hate that you bottle everything up, it's not good for you."

"I will, Jack." Ianto lied, but if Jack could tell he didn't say anything. He just leaned in and kissed Ianto softly. Ianto wrapped his arms around Jack's neck and kissed him back, content trying to just live in the moment.

TBC

A/N: Thanks to my lovely beta, thanks for reading and reviews are love :))