Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or the Potter-verse.

A/N: Mrs. Snape is an OC, but if it makes you feel better, go ahead and imagine that Mrs. Snape is whichever female cannon character you prefer Snape to end up with. I don't mind.

Severus Gets Some Work Done

"Mrs. Snape?" a voice called from the fireplace.

"Yes?"

"We need you to pick up the Professor from our offices."

"He's not in Azkaban, is he?" asked Mrs. Snape snapping shut the book she had been reading.

"No, of course not. The Professor came to his appointment today without an escort. If we had realized, we wouldn't have gone through with the procedure."

"What procedure?"

"The Professor came to our offices today to get his teeth straightened. Didn't he tell you?"

"Obviously not," drawled Mrs. Snape. "Step aside and keep the connection open. I'm coming through."

Mrs. Snape stepped through the fireplace and into the office on the other side.

"There you are," said Severus lazily. "Somebody was getting worried," he said, leering at the secretary who had contacted Mrs. Snape.

"How much pain potion was he given?" asked Mrs. Snape looking critically at her swaying husband.

"Oh, just a couple vials," said the secretary, waving a dismissive hand. "The usual."

"I see," said Mrs. Snape. She grabbed her husband by the arm just before he sank to the floor. "Come along, darling," she said.

"Yes, yes, yes," said Severus.

Mrs. Snape wrapped her husband in a hug and apparated the both of them, appearing on the porch at Spinner's End. Keeping her left arm securely about his middle, she opened the front door and guided him indoors.

"I'm going to levitate you upstairs to the bedroom," she told him.

"Ok," said Severus, flinging his arms wide open and closing his eyes.

Mrs. Snape flicked her wand and had Severus upstairs in a trice. Another couple flicks of her wand and he was settled in bed in his pajamas. His lids drooped and he picked at the corner of the bedcovers. Mrs. Snape settled herself next to him, sitting on the side of the bed.

"Severus?" began Mrs. Snape.

"Hmmmmm?" said Severus.

"Why did you get your teeth straightened?"

"You didn't tell me to," he said.

"I know," said Mrs. Snape, frowning and thinking of the day before.

"I'm very ugly," Severus had said suddenly during dinner, leaning back in his chair.

Mrs. Snape had looked up from her salad with wide eyes.

"I won't ask why you agreed to marry me," he said. "I don't want to know. I do want to know why you haven't asked me to cut my hair or get a tan or wear something other than black."

Mrs. Snape frowned. "It's none of my business," she had replied.

"Yes, it is," said Severus. "You are my wife. Even my own mother has said more on the subject of my appearance than you have."

Mrs. Snape kept quiet and shrugged.

"I suppose you don't care about me," Severus said finally.

"That's not fair," said Mrs. Snape quietly.

"I am Slytherin," said Severus.

"You were Slytherin," snapped Mrs. Snape.

"Perhaps you wanted to spare my feelings," said Severus with a grin. "How droll. How—Hufflepuff of you."

"That's ridiculous," said Mrs. Snape. "You know how blunt I am. I would have said something if I thought it was important."

"I see," said Severus.

"Yes," said Mrs. Snape, viscously poking at the lettuce on her plate.

"Then tell me because I'm asking," said Snape, "what do you think of me?"

Mrs. Snape paused and looked uncomfortable. "There are things you could do to improve your appearance," she said finally.

"Such as?"

"Well," said Mrs. Snape slowly, "I would recommend two things, that is, if you chose to do them—"

"Get on with it."

"First, your hair—"

"I knew it."

"It's at an awkward length. I think you should either cut it shorter or grow it out."

Severus looked surprised. "I see," he said.

"And your teeth," said Mrs. Snape with a wince. "They look bloody uncomfortable and crowded. Don't they bother you?"

"But you don't want me to get a tan?" inquired Snape. "That was a favorite comment of Albus' you know. And then, of course, Minerva always wanted me to wear blue or green or red or gray or some other color that wasn't black."

"No, I don't want you to get a tan," said Mrs. Snape. "Why would I? I don't have one either. Besides, it ages your skin. And, no, I don't care if you only ever wear black. It looks sexy on you."

"Hm," said Snape, looking at her thoughtfully. They finished dinner in silence.

"So why did you do it then?"

"It's very warm in here," said Severus, snuggling into his pillow.

Mrs. Snape sighed. "We'll talk later," she said, patting his arm softly.

"Ok," said Severus as he drifted into sleep.

Later that evening, Mrs. Snape went to check on her husband. She found him awake in his bed, curled on his side and holding his head in his hands.

"Oh, you're awake," she said.

"Yes," he groaned.

"I'll get the pain potion."

Mrs. Snape returned quickly and handed him the potion.

"There's a reason the Muggles do it the long way, you know," she said as he downed the potion.

"Because they don't have magic?" said Severus, gritting his teeth and closing his eyes as he handed her the empty vial.

"There is that," said Mrs. Snape, "but there's also the fact that you've just packed two to four years pain into an hour-long procedure. You do know you're not going to be able to go back to work for awhile, right?"

"I took the week off."

"Yes, I'm sure that will be long enough," said Mrs. Snape dryly.

Severus grunted in reply.

"I don't suppose that before you fall back into a drug-induced stupor you could tell me why you went and got your teeth straightened?"

"It was an anniversary present."

"For me? Severus, you shouldn't have," said Mrs. Snape with a roll of her eyes.

"No," said Severus, "for me. I've always hated my teeth."

"Then why didn't you get them fixed years ago?"

"I was going to, but something happened," said Severus, finally straightening out slowly in his bed after being curled up in pain.

"Let me guess," said Mrs. Snape. "Someone insulted your teeth and you didn't want them to think you got them fixed because of what they said."

"How did you know?"

Mrs. Snape shook her head. "Lucky guess," she said, pulling the covers back over her husband. "Go back to bed and sleep it off," she commanded.

"I'm hungry," protested Severus.

"Fine," said Mrs. Snape. "I'll get you some broth."

"Thank you."

When Severus returned to school a week later, nobody noticed that his teeth had gotten fixed on account of he still never smiled, but at least he knew what his teeth looked like and his wife knew what his teeth looked like and that was all that mattered.