The Right Thing

by EGB Fan

Still unhappy with his daughter's choice of boyfriend, Peter accompanies Roland to New Jersey in order to meet with an old antagonist who might now be able to help. Following on from previous stories.

2. Chapter 2

Extreme Ghostbusters: The Right Thing

Part Two

Dana hadn't missed Jessica by much. She arrived just a couple of minutes after the detention finished, but Jessica had already got into a taxi with Oz, whom she had earlier arranged to meet by text message.

"I'm afraid I don't believe your parents are okay with this," he said.

Jessica shrugged. "I never said they were."

"Jessica, you really are appalling."

"Don't start."

"Why do you behave like this?"

"I said don't start. I just got all of this from my damn history teacher. She gave me this textbook to work from for twenty-five minutes, and then she spent the last five minutes telling me that I'm 'such a bright girl', and I 'could do so well'."

"Why don't you?" asked Oz.

"Why don't I what?"

"Do well."

She stared at him for a moment. Then she said, "What did you do?"

"What do you mean, what did I do?"

"You did something bad. My dad went all the way to New Jersey to find out what it was, and now no one will tell me."

"If no one will tell you," said Oz, "then you probably don't need to know."

"I want to know," said Jessica.

"You don't need to know because you dumped me. I no longer pose a threat to you."

"Meaning you did before?"

"As far as your father was concerned I did."

"Well obviously you still do," said Jessica, "because I'm sneaking off in the back of a taxi with you."

"Well," said Oz, "here we are. Come inside and perhaps I'll tell you what I did."

They got out of the taxi, and Jessica waited while Oz paid the driver. She then followed him towards his house, and again had to wait while he unlocked the door.

"Is it anything to do with me?" she asked.

"What I did?" said Oz. "In a way, but you know about that. I had your doll."

"Y'know, it's more Princess Conchita's doll than mine. So… what about it?"

"Can I get you anything? Something to eat or drink?"

"Oh, yeah, great - I haven't eaten since lunch."

Most of what Oz had in his kitchen was a little too healthy for Jessica's liking, but he did manage to find her a very large packet of Doritos.

"Okay," said Jessica, when she had eaten half the Doritos and Oz had done nothing but watch her. "You're creeping me out now."

"I'd like to show you my bedroom," he said.

She cocked an eyebrow. "Really? Well, it was a long time coming."

He furrowed his brow. "I said my bedroom, not my penis."

"Yeah, well. Most guys, when they say that, it means the same thing."

"I think I'm in love with you."

She spent a few moments choking on a Dorito, then got over it and said, "I doubt that."

"Oh well." Oz seemed to accept this analysis of the situation, and simply shrugged it off. "Will you come upstairs with me, then?"

Jessica was beginning to feel a little apprehensive, but she had come to trust Oz, so she agreed to follow him up to his bedroom. She thought about how she had trusted her first boyfriend, Will, even though she knew perfectly well he was a vampire. She knew now how stupid that had been. But it was over two and half years ago now - she'd grown up a lot since then, or so she thought. Oz… he was human, and he was okay.

He opened the bedroom door, waved her in and then invited her to sit on his bed. She did so, and he shut the door.

"I never leave it open," he said, catching something in her face.

"Why not?"

"I keep a lot of secrets in here."

"Oh."

He walked towards her and sat down on the bed beside her. They were silent for a little while. Then he said, "When Wanda and Celine were accidentally raising zombies in the graveyard, I already knew them. They were my tenants. Did you know that?"

"Someone might have mentioned it," said Jessica. She was looking around her, wondering if Oz's "secrets" were of the tangible or the metaphysical variety. It was probably a bit of both, she thought. He had a lot of bizarre stuff in his room: statues, stuffed animals, a lot of intriguing looking boxes and bottles…

"I could have dealt with the zombies," he said. "I'm very powerful, actually."

"Okay, I'll bite," said Jessica. "So why go to the Ghostbusters?"

"I wanted to meet them."

"Why?"

"They could be useful people to know. One day… well, they might even become a hindrance to me. I don't know, it depends."

It was an unsettling statement, but Jessica chose not to pursue it, for another thought had occurred to her that concerned her more.

"Is that why you asked me out?" she said. "Because you were interested in them?"

"Partly," said Oz. "That secretary - excuse me - client administrator person told me that another Ghostbuster had a teenage daughter, and I did consider trying her if you really kept insisting that you weren't interested. It's as well to have a contact. But that wasn't all. I wanted you very particularly."

"You've told me why, haven't you?" said Jessica.

Oz nodded slowly. "You're magical."

"I'm really not."

"Well, perhaps you're not magical per se. It's just that there's something about you. I've told you all of this, haven't I? The supernatural… it likes you."

"My other two boyfriends were a vampire and a cambion," said Jessica. "Are you saying they didn't like me for me?"

"Well, I wouldn't know about that."

"But this whole thing about me attracting the supernatural… that's why they noticed me in the first place. That's what you think, isn't it?"

"Jessica, it doesn't matter what I think."

"Well," she said, "you're probably right. I'm no swimsuit model, and I was so young when I started seeing them. I mean, I'd have to be younger than the vampire, but I was twelve. Why would a guy like that notice a twelve year old who isn't even pretty?"

"I didn't mean to make you lose your self-confidence."

She shook her head. "You haven't. I'm happy with who I am - that's the difference between me and just about every other girl my age. Well, one of the differences. I don't have this big hang-up about attracting guys either. What's wrong with being single?"

"Nothing. Especially at your age."

"There's nothing wrong with being single at any age. You'd think we were living in Victorian times, the way everyone's so desperate to get married. I don't care if I can only attract demons - it'll just make it easier for me never to fall into the old marriage trap. So come on - what did you do?"

"Has no ordinary human being ever been attracted to you?" asked Oz. "Really?"

"Well," said Jessica, her lip curling, "there was one. But I hate him, and he lives in England. What did you do?"

"The doll," said Oz. "I swapped it for something. No… for someone."

"Er… who?"

"Not literally, of course. An item belonging to this person. And then Wanda and Celine… they used it to do some rather unpleasant things. Do you know about that?"

"No."

"Ah. It was Eduardo, actually." Suddenly, Oz stood up. He walked a few paces away from Jessica, then turned and said, "Jessica, are you and I still friends?"

"Uh, sure," she said.

"The reason why I wanted to know you… it's always there, whether we're, um, together or not. I hoped you might agree to a few little experiments. Could we try it now?"

"What, er… what kind of experiments?"

"Oh, don't worry, nothing that will harm you in any way. Come and have a look at this."

Jessica stood up, keeping one eye on the closed door. She walked towards Oz; he turned to a shelf and pulled down a heavy black urn. He stared down at it in his hands, not turning round again. She drew up beside him, and asked, "What's that?"

"It's my father's ashes."

"Oh. Eww."

"One should never reanimate the dead - not in any way that involves their physical body - but there's no harm in summoning a spirit. Well… I suppose that rather depends on the spirit. But for the method I want to use, I do need his ashes. It's never worked before, but with you here…"

"I don't think so," Jessica said hurriedly.

He stared at her, still holding the urn. His stare reminded her of a cat. The kind of cat that liked to freak people out by staring. She was sure they did it deliberately, but with Oz… she no longer knew what to think. She tried to keep her eyes on his face, but just briefly they flickered towards the door.

"All right." Oz replaced the urn on the shelf. "We can try something else. This may sound impertinent, but are you a true virgin?"

Jessica blinked. "Am I a what?"

"If you were, I'd take you to the park and tie you to a tree naked and try to summon a unicorn. I've always wanted a unicorn."

"You would?"

"Well… only if you agreed."

"I don't want to be naked," said Jessica.

Oz gave her an odd look, and said, "That makes a change. Let's try something else."

"I'd really rather go home. My parents - "

He turned round and crossed the room. "You don't give a damn about them."

"Of course I do!"

"You show them no respect. They love you more than anything, and you give them nothing in return."

"That's not true!"

"In what way? I suppose you don't believe they love you."

"I'm going home."

She strode over to the door, but when her hand closed around the doorknob it burnt her, and she pulled her arm back with a shriek.

"You'll be all right," said Oz. "Just stay and cooperate, and then you can go home."

"You're fucking crazy!"

"We could try calling a genie - that would be fun. They grant wishes."

"Let me out of here!"

"You said we were friends."

"Look… let's go to the park and try the unicorn thing. I am a virgin."

"I don't think so," said Oz, his tone never changing. "You're not a true virgin, are you?"

"Jesus Christ, Oz - do you think this is how friends treat each other?"

"I don't know, I never had any. Now then." Oz sat down on the bed, now wielding a very large hardback book. "Shall we begin?"

.-.-.-.

Celine, not taking it seriously at all, leapt into the Ecto-1 beside Roland shouting, "I call shotgun!" There was room for three people on the front seat, but Garrett and Peter both got into the back, and no one said anything until they had picked Dana up from outside Jessica's school. She sat with Peter, and they started talking very seriously and intently.

"Should we tell Oscar?" asked Dana.

"No," said Peter. "He'll start trying to come home, and the press'll be all over it, and - "

"Your son the rock star, right?" said Celine. "He's hot. I'm Celine, by the way. You must be, um… Peter's woman."

"Dana," Dana said dryly, clearly taking an instant dislike to Celine.

"She's going to find your daughter for you," Roland said pointedly.

"Look," said Celine. "I don't think you should be panicking yet. It could very well turn out that we go and knock on Oz's door, and you'll find Jessica there and she'll be all like, oh no! They've found me with this guy I'm not supposed to see!"

"I never said she wasn't allowed to see him," said Peter. "She dumped him."

"Oh yeah," said Celine, "he said."

"What if it doesn't happen like that?" said Dana. "How are we supposed to find her?"

"Jeez, lady, calm down," said Celine. "Let's just cross bridges as we come to them."

"What good is that if she's dead?"

"She's not fucking dead, you crazy bitch!"

"Hey!" said Peter.

"Celine, please," said Roland. "She's the girl's mother. And I think she has a point - we should figure out what our next move will be if we don't find Jessica at the house. I mean, it's not like we could spend this time doing anything more useful, is it?"

"Jesus, you're so fucking sensible," said Celine, rolling her eyes. "Okay, well, we can ask the tenant, whatever her name is - "

"Stephie," said Garrett.

"Whatever. We can ask her if she's seen either of them."

"She will have been at work," said Garrett.

"Maybe she saw Oz when she got back," said Celine. "I can keep trying his cell phone. Maybe they're just… I don't know… in one of those snobby restaurants where they confiscate your phone when you go in. In spite of what you people might think, and in spite of Oz being obviously crazy, I don't believe he's going to do anything to her or do anything to stop her from returning to the bosom of her family."

"It's all right for you to be so blasé," muttered Dana. "You obviously don't have kids."

"Hey!" said Celine, her expression darkening. She turned in her seat and glared at Dana. "Just because I'm not in your fucking special club for stuck-up bitches who've fulfilled the highest honour a woman can bestow upon herself, doesn't mean my opinion - "

"Celine, please calm down," said Roland. "She's worried."

"I wish I'd never come back to fucking New York. Nothing ever goes right for me here - everyone's a total fucking jerk."

Roland cocked an eyebrow. "Even me?"

"You? Of course not. You're too nice. I'm only doing this for you. We don't have to, you know. She's gonna be home safe and sound by midnight at the latest, just like every other spoilt little rich bitch that goes missing."

"Roland, for God's sake, shut her up!" said Peter.

"Why don't you all shut up?" said Garrett.

After that, they were silent the rest of the way to Oz's house, and they happened to arrive just in time to see Stephie walking up to the front door. It opened without her having to unlock it. Before the car had even stopped, Garrett, Peter and Dana all tumbled out.

"They're keen," Celine said dryly.

"They're worried about the people they love," said Roland. He, Garrett and Peter were all carrying a full quota of Ghostbusting equipment, but Dana hadn't even asked for any.

"Tchuh," said Celine. "Love is more fucking trouble than it's worth."

Roland just looked at her for a moment. Then he said, "You know what, Celine? I don't get you. I don't know exactly why you came back here, but from what I've heard it sounds like you've been trying to sort some stuff out with Eduardo and Kylie, and you obviously care for Oz in some way. You even implied you'd have a baby with me if I wanted you to - and then you say something like that."

"So," said Celine, "you're asking me if I'm really a cast-iron heartless bitch or not?"

"I never thought you were that," said Roland.

"I came here to talk to them about what happened because I don't like being angry all the time. But I can't help it. Someone hurts me, and I just can't let it go. Ever."

"Well, Celine, you obviously have anger issues. Maybe you should… you know… see someone about it."

"Hey! I'm not going to any fucking shrink, man!"

"Yeah, well… they're still interrogating Stephie, look," Roland quickly changed the subject. "Maybe we should go and see what's going on."

Celine climbed out of the car before Roland did, and charged into the middle of the small gathering on Oz's doorstep.

"You just got back from work?" she said to Stephie.

"Er, yeah," Stephie said meekly.

"And the door was unlocked. That means he's home - he never leaves the door unlocked. So what the fuck are we standing around out here for? Let's go in and look for him."

"Hold on," said Garrett, as they were joined by Roland. "I'm not done with her yet."

"What's happened to you, Garrett?" Stephie said despairingly. "You were so sweet when you showed me the pizza and the flower shop and then we went to my father's bail hearing and I cried because I didn't have ten thousand dollars."

"Yeah," said Garrett, "well, that was before you - "

"How many more times? I haven't cast any evil spells on your stupid Jo woman! I can't believe you would even think that of me, Garrett! As if I didn't have enough negativity to contest with, what with everyone being so ignorant of my people's - "

"Okay, lady, that's enough," said Celine. "Garrett, if she said she didn't cast a spell then she didn't cast a spell, okay? I mean, look at her - she's fucking pathetic. Not everyone can be a Wanda, can they? Now then." She looked at Peter and Dana. "You two drama queens are here to find your daughter, right? So let's go."

She led the way into the house, called out Oz's name and then made her way upstairs. She made straight for one door in particular, and stood staring at it.

"That's Oz's room," said Stephie, drawing up behind her with the others.

"I know that," said Celine.

"He's asked me not to go in there."

"Yes, he would have. We weren't allowed in there either."

"Why?" asked Peter. "What's in there?"

Celine turned round and glared at him. "How the fuck should I know? I wasn't allowed in, remember?"

"Oh!" Stephie said suddenly. "Um… sorry, what's your name?"

"Celine," said Celine, turning back round to stare at the door.

"What if I made a wish?"

Celine looked at her. "What?"

"Well… if I said 'I wish'… I don't know, something. In this house. Might it… come true, for some reason?"

"I don't know," said Celine. "Did you?"

"Did you wish something to make Jo go all weird?" Garrett demanded sharply.

"If I did," said Stephie, "it was a total accident, I promise."

"Jesus, Stephie, what did you wish for?"

"I, um… don't remember exactly."

"Well if that's it," said Celine, "then the person to ask is Oz. I'm sure he'll be able to tell us what happened, and how to fix it. If we could just get to him…"

"Well that's easy enough," said Dana, and she barged Celine to one side, her hand closing over the doorknob. She withdrew it instantly, however, and cried out in pain.

"What happened?" Peter asked urgently.

"It burnt me!"

"So don't do it again!" he said, as once again Dana lunged for the door.

"I don't know if you remember, Peter, but I went through six hours of labour to have her," said Dana. "She's my daughter - I don't care what it takes!"

"Stop!" said Celine, grabbing Dana's wrist before she could touch the door again. "God, I hate you! No offence or anything, but you are just the most annoying woman! You can burn both your hands off if you really want to, but it won't accomplish anything. I am telling you people, if Oz doesn't want us to get in there, then we are not getting in!"

"We have to!" said Peter. "Jessica - "

"Might not even be in there. Look… I'll try his cell phone again, okay? And you can try hers. If there's still no answer… well, I still say we should just wait."

"Screw that," said Dana, and she took out her cell phone, though she didn't look hopeful.

"You can't even fucking swear," muttered Celine, as she too grabbed her phone.

.-.-.-.

Minutes after that, Eduardo was on the phone with Peter, looking faintly horrified. Kylie, Conchita, Rose and their cat Pagan all watched him as he stood there in silence. Max Miller was there too, cuddled up to Conchita and watching a rowdy ball sport on TV, not the slightest bit interested in what Eduardo was doing.

"You know I'm not gonna agree to that," Eduardo said at last.

"Eduardo, please!" said Peter. "He's got Jessica locked in - "

"You said."

"She'd be perfectly safe. You'd be with her."

"So?"

"He likes her!"

"He likes Jessica!"

"Oh… forget it," said Peter. "Putting a six year old in danger… that's not gonna do any good, is it? I'm sorry I even thought about it, but it's just that we're desperate! What if he…? I don't even know! Oh, God - why didn't we do something about him sooner?"

"Chita couldn't get through a magically locked door anyway," said Eduardo.

"No, I guess not."

"Maybe Cameron could."

"Cameron!" exclaimed Peter. "Oh my God, that's brilliant!" Then he hung up.

Eduardo hung up too. Rose stopped paying attention to him, and started asking Kylie when dinner was going to be ready. Kylie went to check on the meal that was in the oven, taking Rose with her, and that was when Conchita approached her father. Max shifted slightly without the support of her body, but he was still engrossed in the TV. He didn't notice the change, and Eduardo and Conchita barely even knew he was there.

"I can help, can't I?" said Conchita.

Eduardo shook his head. "No."

"How do you know I can't? What's going on?"

"He's got Jessica locked in his bedroom and put some kind of spell on the door. Do you really wanna help a guy like that, Chita?"

"He sounds sick to me."

"He is sick."

"I mean sick like he needs help!"

"Chita," said Eduardo. "I'm not putting you in danger, and even if I did there wouldn't be anything you could do."

"I think there would," said Conchita. "Daddy… something bad is going to happen!"

Eduardo looked at her for a moment, thinking, Holy shit, is she psychic or something? Then he asked calmly, "How do you know that?"

She looked at the floor. "I don't know, it's just a feeling."

"You get these feelings often?"

She looked up at him again, and frowned. "You know I don't. It's just… he's crazy, and there's all people there who hate him. That can't be good!"

"Celine's there."

"Yeah, well… she's crazy too."

That, Eduardo thought, was a fair point.

"If something bad is going to happen," he said, "then that's all the more reason for me to want you safe at home. They don't need you. Celine may be crazy, but she's Oz's friend, and Roland's there - you trust him to help everyone he can, don't you?"

"Why should Oz listen to Roland?"

"Why should he listen to you?"

Conchita's frown deepened. Her eyes filled with tears, and then she turned and stormed off to her bedroom. Eduardo watched her go, not moving for quite some time. This was all too weird. Then finally he left Max alone with Pagan and went to the kitchen, where Rose was standing on a stool and handing cutlery to Kylie from an open drawer.

"I think she's had conversations with Oz that we don't know about," said Eduardo.

"Sometimes he talked to us at the firehouse when you weren't there," said Rose.

"Well… what did he say?"

"Um." Rose stopped to think for a moment. "He talked about his dead dad a couple of times. It made Chita cry," she added in a stage whisper.

"Does she know something we don't?" asked Kylie.

"Well… if she does, clearly Rose knows it too," said Eduardo, and he looked expectantly at his younger daughter.

"He only said he was dead and he used to be evil," said Rose.

Kylie raised her eyebrows. "Evil?"

"You know, like the witch in The Wizard of Oz," and she gave both of them a look as if to say: How was I produced by two such stupid people?

"Did he tell you how his dad died?" asked Eduardo.

"We asked him," said Rose, "but he said it would give us nightmares."

Eduardo and Kylie looked at each other for a long time. Then she said, "Oh, God. Let's just have dinner and see what the others tell us in the morning."

.-.-.-.

There was the sound of a motorcycle engine outside, and then a knock at the front door.

"I'll get it," said Celine.

"Stephie," said Garrett. "Is there any way we can find out what happened to Jo?"

"We can ask Oz," Stephie said simply.

"Yuh-huh, well." He paused. "Aren't there any… I don't know, books or anything?"

"Well… I guess I could go have a look."

Stephie turned and wandered off, passing Celine and Jessica's ex-boyfriend, Cameron Doherty, on the stairs. Cameron was seventeen, and the kind of magically blessed kid who wanted nothing more than a normal life in spite of his superpowers, which he had inherited from his incubus father. He had recently spent some time with a young woman called Summer, who had been spawned by that same incubus, in order to gain some control over his powers. Now that he could control them, he wanted to keep them under wraps, but apparently that wasn't going to happen - at least not today.

"Cameron, can you get us through that door?" said Dana.

"Um, I can try," Cameron said awkwardly. "What, um… what's wrong with it?"

"We can't touch it," said Roland. "It burns."

Cameron walked up to the door, held his hand in front of the knob to test the heat, and looked at the whole structure with a thoughtful expression on his face. "So Jess is in there with this Oz guy, and he's a warlock - is that right?"

"Yes!" Peter and Dana said urgently.

"So am I just trying to save her virginity, or what?"

"He doesn't want to have sex with her," said Celine. "He's just crazy."

Cameron exhaled heavily. "I don't like the sound of this."

Then he took a step back, stiffened and closed his eyes. A light wind whipped up around him, sending ripples through his clothes and hair. He remained like that for twenty seconds or more, and Peter was about to try and hurry him up, but then suddenly there was a moderate explosion and the door blew off its hinges.

Celine hung behind, and Cameron took a step back. Peter, Dana, Garrett and Roland all crowded round the door and peered inside. Oz was shaking a circle of salt onto the floor; Jessica was sitting in the middle of the circle, her hands and feet positioned as though they were tied down, though there were no visible bonds.

"Oh boy," she said, sucking in her breath, when she saw her parents.

Oz stared at his defaced bedroom doorway. Then his eyes rested on Cameron, who looked sheepishly back at him.

"Who is this?" he said.

"My ex," said Jessica.

"The one you have such 'fun' with?"

"Er, yeah."

"Dr. and Mrs. Venkman," said Oz. "She came of her own accord, you know. Perhaps you should leave until she's ready to go home."

"Oz," said Jessica. "I want to go now."

"I've told you," he said. "I decide when you are ready to go home."

"All right," said Peter, taking a step forward, but he got no further. Oz flicked his wrist, and suddenly everyone outside the room was paralysed. Peter found that he was no longer able to speak, but everyone else still had their voices.

"Oz!" said Celine.

Oz, who had given his attention back to Jessica, turned round in surprise. "Celine! I didn't see you there. Sorry about that - do come in."

He flexed his hand again, and Celine was released. She pushed past Cameron, Dana and the three Ghostbusters, and ventured into the bedroom.

"Oz," she said. "I think you should let her go."

"I will," said Oz. "As soon as we're done. I'm going to summon a basilisk."

"You're not!"

"It'll be okay. All right, Jessica, are you ready?"

"Oz," said Jessica, "are you sure a basilisk…?"

"Celine, do something!" yelled Dana.

"There is nothing you can do, Celine," said Oz. "Anyway, I thought you were interested in dark magic."

"I was," Celine said significantly.

"Wanda would enjoy this. What a shame she isn't here."

Celine bit her lip, feeling helpless and wondering what to do as Oz made his way over to a very big book on the bed. He leant over it and began to read aloud. As he read, all that happened was much as one might expect the summoning of a magical creature to be. There was a lot of wind and gradually rising smoke, a very rich purple in colour. A gigantic reptile was almost fully formed in the midst of the smoke when Celine had the sense to yell out, "Oz, those guys are paralysed - it'll kill them!"

Oz clicked its tongue, looked at the gathering outside the door and then, grudgingly, wiggled his fingers at them.

"Get behind something!" yelled Roland, as soon as he could move again. "Its breath is deadly. Or its gaze. Or maybe both - it depends what you read."

"Just its breath!" Oz said impatiently. "Look, if you promise to let me get on with what I'm doing, I'll make sure it doesn't hurt you."

"You're sick!" yelled Jessica.

Oz scowled down at her. "You want to go home? Then help me to summon the spirit of my dead father. Hmm… actually…"

Celine and Jessica watched as Oz went over to a drawer and produced a worryingly large syringe. He did a little chant over it - perhaps his way of sterilising it - and then carried it over to Jessica. He grabbed her left arm, turned it palm-up and rolled up her sleeve.

"Please don't!" said Jessica.

"It's just a little needle."

"It's huge!"

"You'll be perfectly safe."

Celine dragged her eyes away to look at the basilisk, which had its head in the bathroom. She knew it wasn't really appropriate, but at first all she could do was compare the four-legged lizard to the snake, which was also purported to be a basilisk, in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Oz, she knew, quite valued the Harry Potter books for their entertainment value, but didn't think much of the representation of all things magical.

When Celine looked back at Jessica she seemed to have been released from her invisible bonds, as she was now nursing her inner elbow. Oz had moved over to a small table on which rested the syringe with a good quarter-pint of blood in it, and onto this table he was sprinkling what looked suspiciously like somebody's ashes.

"Oz," said Celine. "What are you doing now?"

"I'm going to summon the spirit of my dead father," he said, injecting no expression into his voice, and not taking his eyes from what he was doing.

"Why?" asked Celine.

"Why did you want to summon the spirit of your dead friend in the graveyard?"

"You told me about him, Oz. Are you sure it's a good idea to bring a spirit like that into a situation like this?"

"Jessica," said Oz. "If this works, I may consider letting you go. But you wouldn't come back again, would you? And you really are very useful for this kind of thing."

"You can't keep me here!" cried Jessica, scrambling to her feet.

"I can," said Oz. "You will find that you can't leave this room. You can, Celine, if you wish. Now then…"

"Oz," said Celine. "Let her go."

"Let's just see what happens with this, shall we? Then I'll decide."

Jessica stared at him for a moment, clearly frightened. Then she looked at Celine and said, "Go and see how my mom and dad are doing - I can't see them."

Peter and Dana had indeed disappeared from just outside the room, along with Garrett, Roland, Cameron and the basilisk. Celine wasn't keen on taking orders from a fifteen year old, but she went anyway, as she was beginning to feel a little anxious herself.

She heard the basilisk hissing downstairs, and then she heard proton fire. When she followed the sound, she saw the flashes of proton beams coming from the kitchen. It looked like that particular situation was in hand, so she decided to see how Stephie was getting on. She was in the living room, flicking through one of Oz's old books.

"Oh, hey," she said, when she saw Celine. "What's going on up there?"

"Stephie," said Celine. "I don't know what to do about this. What can you do with a warlock who has awesome magical powers and who's gone completely nuts?"

As Celine had pretty much expected, Stephie had no answer. They stared at each other for a bit, and then the sound of proton fire ceased. Dana was first out of the kitchen, followed by Peter, then Roland, Cameron and finally Garrett.

Peter, Dana and Roland all started running up the stairs, but Garrett grabbed Cameron's arm and said, "Y'know, Cameron, we only really needed you to open the door. You can go home now if you like."

Cameron, who looked completely out of his depth, mumbled something in a resigned tone of voice and then started back up the stairs.

"Hey," said Celine, drawing up alongside Garrett. "Is he in love with her?"

"What, with Jess?" said Garrett. "I really have no idea. Could you maybe help me get back up the stairs?"

She did help Garrett to get back up the stairs, and once there they made their way into the middle of the group of people who were being stared at by Oz. He and Jessica were still in the bedroom, and Dana was violently attacking an invisible force field some yards away from the door.

"Give me my basilisk," said Oz. By this time he looked as well as sounded completely insane, and even more worrying, another one of those plumes of smoke was welling up behind him. This one was orange, and huge.

"No," said Roland.

"What about if you give us Jessica?" said Dana, ceasing her assault on the force field.

Oz shook his head. "Keep it, then. I'd rather have her."

"What?" shrieked Dana. "She's just a kid, you fucking lunatic!"

"That's more like it, Dana," said Celine, taking a few steps towards Oz. "Oz, come on, this is fucking ridiculous. I thought you were a nice guy."

"I'm emotionally dead," said Oz. "I told you."

"Let her out of there."

"No."

"Oh, that's it - we have to use Conchita," said Peter, reaching for his cell phone.

Oz looked at him sharply. "Conchita?"

"Would you stop this for her?" Peter asked hopefully.

"You leave her out of this," said Oz. "She's innocent. She's almost seven, and she's still uncorrupted - it's extraordinary. If I could find a way to keep her like that…"

Cameron, who had been stationary for a long time, suddenly pulled out a cell phone and wandered off down the landing. Peter noticed, and was about to object, when suddenly Jessica yelled, "OZ! Your thing you're doing… it's on fire!"

She was referring to the spell he was doing, involving her blood and his father's ashes. Oz suddenly looked panicked, and turned round muttering, "No, no, don't do this…"

"Summer, it's Cam," Cameron said to his cell phone. "I'm kind of in a situation…"

Oz began doing everything he could to his magic spell, from talking to it to waving his hands at it to beating the flames with a pillow. But the fire was spreading fast. Dana was frantic now, and Peter had gone into a state of shock - he wasn't moving.

"Can't we get through that force field with our proton guns?" said Garrett.

"We tried that while you were still downstairs," Roland said shortly. "Celine…?"

"I'm doing my best, Roland, in case you hadn't noticed," said Celine. "Oz… come on! OZ! Get out of there, and bring that girl with you!"

Doubtless Oz would have taken no notice even if he had been listening, but he wasn't. The fire was still spreading, Jessica was beginning to choke, but something in the magic seemed to be working. A face was beginning to form in the orange smoke.

"It's working!" cried Oz. "Jessica, you did it!"

"LET ME OUT OF HERE!" she yelled.

"For God's sake, try it again!" screamed Dana, grabbing the nearest proton gun, which happened to be Roland's.

Then Cameron swooped in. He charged over to the force field, held his arms out a little to his sides, closed his eyes and concentrated very hard. There was a crackle of sound, and a blue light fizzed just in front of him. He opened his eyes and stuck out his arm.

"Jess!" he yelled.

She didn't need to be told twice. Jessica ran forward and grabbed his hand. He pulled. Dana and Peter grabbed her arm, and they pulled too.

"This isn't doing any good!" yelled Jessica, clearly terrified.

Cameron looked over his shoulder at Roland and Garrett, and said, "Try again with your gun thingies whatever you call 'em."

Roland and Garrett took their guns and aimed at the force field, both a little worried about hitting somebody, but more worried about Jessica inhaling that magical orange smoke. It was a terrific strain, and it still seemed hopeless - but then suddenly Jessica's whole body burst through the force field and she fell to her knees, coughing violently.

"Come on, get up!" said Dana, pulling Jessica to her feet. Then she, Cameron and Peter started dragging her towards the stairs.

Jessica shook her head, trying to resist them. "Oz…"

"I can't do anything," said Cameron. "And neither can you. Come on."

They bundled her towards the stairs, pushing past Celine, Roland and Garrett. Garrett was hanging back and looking at Roland, who was hanging back and looking at Celine, who was hanging back and staring as Oz desperately tried to control his magic.

She was torn. Oz was her friend. She had grown fond of him. But what could she do? There was only one possibility: she had to make one more attempt to make him see sense.

"OZ!" she shouted. "GET OUT OF THERE, YOU FUCKING LUNATIC!"

She felt a hand on her arm. It was Roland.

"He's gone."

"What do you mean gone? Gone where? He's not dead."

"Not yet. But he's gone. Crazy. He's not with us anymore. I don't think he even knows you're here."

"We gotta go, guys," said Garrett.

Celine knew they were right. There was nothing she could do, and anyway, this was it. Oz was going to be killed. Problem solved. He wouldn't have to go through life being crazy and miserable, and endangering headstrong teenage girls. The Venkmans wouldn't have to worry about him anymore. No one would.

Besides, the flames were spreading beyond the force field. Celine nodded, and she and the two Ghostbusters made their way downstairs, but Celine looked back just before she started to descend. The face in the smoke was still there, and it was cackling. She was sure that Oz's dead, insane father - if indeed that was him - wanted this to happen.

She then followed Roland and Garrett downstairs - going down, it seemed, was not a problem for Garrett - and she saw that the latter was looking into the living room. A moment later he came out, followed by Stephie, who had apparently been forgotten by Cameron and the three Venkmans.

They ran out of the front door, Stephie wailing, "If the house burns down, where will I live?" Then they made their way over to the Ecto-1, where Dana was weeping all over Jessica and Peter was thanking Cameron profusely for saving her life. The poor boy was listening with a strained expression, still looking like he wished he'd stayed at home.

"Listen," said Celine, to Roland and Garrett. "I think the spirit of Oz's dead father is hanging around there. Maybe you should try to get rid of it."

"Right," said Roland, heading back towards the house. He had barely gone two steps, however, when the whole building suddenly exploded. Everyone ducked instinctively, and shielded their eyes as flames billowed out of the windows.

"Well that was smart!" Garrett yelled at Roland.

Celine took a deep breath, closed her eyes and listened to Jessica's cry of, "OZ!"

"Jesus, Jess, he was trying to kill you!" Peter said loudly.

Celine shared Jessica's grief, but she refused to let it show. She counted to ten, then opened her eyes and saw the orange smoke seeping from the house.

"There he is!" she cried, pointing as she saw the laughing, maniacal face appearing in the smoke. "Blast it!"

"On three," said Garrett.

"THREE!" he and Roland yelled, prompting Celine to roll her eyes. Did they have to get one of those in now? With only two of them, it actually sounded kind of pathetic.

It had been hectic, but there was no more jeopardy to come. The spirit, whatever it was, screamed in the two proton screams until Roland threw down a ghost trap and sucked it inside. The entity was gone. That just left the house fire.

"I'll call the fire department," said Cameron.

Jessica shook off both of her parents, wandered a few yards away and just stood there with her back to the house. Celine looked at her for a moment. Then she touched Stephie's arm, and took her a little way down the street.

Roland shook his head, staring at the flaming house. "I can't believe this."

"Who's Summer?" asked Garrett.

Roland looked at him. "What?"

"Cameron called somebody called Summer, right before he got Jessica through that force field thing."

"Oh," said Roland. "Well, he spent some time with a half-sister learning to control his powers, didn't he? That must have been her - she must have told him what to do."

"He saved her life, you know. That's huge. Maybe they'll get back together."

"I don't know, Gar. I think Cameron'd kinda like a quieter life."

They stood in silence for a while, watching as Cameron went and put his arm around Jessica while Peter and Dana stood helplessly by. They hissed at each other a bit, perhaps discussing how best to help their daughter, or maybe even how to stop her from being such a danger to herself and others in the future.

Then, eventually, Roland and Garrett were joined by Stephie.

"Garrett," she said. "Celine was just telling me that because the house has exploded, any magic that happened as a result of something in the house might have been undone. If it hasn't… well, there's probably something we can do, but let's cross that bridge when we come to it, huh? I really am sorry, you know."

"I'm sorry," said Garrett. "I did fall in love with you once, you know, and I wouldn't have done that if you were the kind of person who'd deliberately hurt somebody else. I never should have believed that you could."

"I'm going to move away," said Stephie. "I mean, I have no home here now, and Celine offered to let me move in with her, so I'd be a fool not to accept."

"She did?" asked Roland. "That was nice of her."

"I like her," said Stephie, smiling at him. "Oh, yeah, she wants to see you."

Roland looked in Celine's direction and saw her in the light from the flames, waiting for him. He glanced at the fire, hoping it wasn't going to spread beyond that one house before the fire department showed up, and then went over to her.

"I'm going home," she said. "Tonight."

"With Stephie."

"Yeah."

"It's really great of you," said Roland.

Celine gave a dry laugh. "No, not really. Not knowing what happened to my last couple of roommates. Guess I was wrong about Oz., wasn't I? I'm, uh… sorry about that."

"We're all wrong sometimes, Celine, and this time it was just because you wanted to trust someone who you thought was your friend. You're a good person at heart, aren't you? And you did the right thing in the end."

She stared at him. "I left Oz to die."

"You did everything you could."

"You haven't fallen in love with me, have you?" Celine asked guardedly.

"Don't sound like that," said Roland. "I thought you wanted me to fall in love with you."

She shook her head. "I've kind of changed my mind. I do love you, but… it wouldn't last. You were good to me and I wanted to sleep with you. But nothing more - not really. Or not in the long run. It wouldn't be fair on you. You deserve the kind of woman who's gonna stay in a committed relationship and give you babies. Even if we stayed together, Roland, I am not having kids - and I know that's the thing you want most."

Roland raised his eyebrows. "Not just because of tonight?"

"Not just because of tonight, no, but tonight did kind of reaffirm what I already knew. I'm not cut out for parenthood. Kids take over your life completely. You worry about them all the time. They're dependent on you for everything. You are almost solely responsible for the person your child turns out to be. I can't do that, Roland. You can, but I could never handle the responsibility. I mean I'd have to try harder than most, wouldn't I, to stop my kid being a total fuck-up. Even if you were its dad."

"Well," said Roland, "I think you're selling yourself short there."

"I was being pathetic anyway. About you, I mean."

"You… you were?"

"Yes. Do you remember what you said to me that time when we went out for dinner, and then you drove me home and we both found out independently that Wanda had Eduardo manacled up in the basement? Well, you said - oh, good, the fire department are here."

She had been vaguely aware of the approaching siren, but didn't make the connection until the fire engine actually pulled into the street and six uniformed men leapt out. It was Cameron who approached them to talk.

"I guess he'll tell them Oz was in there," said Celine, "and they'll try to find him and save his life. It's way too late for that, though. I feel sorry for that Cameron guy - this is nuts."

"What did I say?" Roland asked gently.

"Hmm? Oh, you said I never struck you as being co-dependent. Well, I'm fucking well not! You remember Surnunos? Well, yeah, of course you do. That happened partly because Wanda and I were crazy power-mad wannabe witches, but also because Bess had the hots for Chip. Then Bess and Eduardo… that didn't end well, did it? And Wanda finally snapping… that was all because of Kylie. I think. But even if it wasn't, the relationship I had with her… that was fucked up, and I loved her. Oz was in love with Jessica too - I really believe that. It drives you crazy. I'm better off alone."

"Not necessarily," said Roland. "If you meet someone - "

"If I do genuinely fall in love with someone, then good for me - I'm sure it'll be great. But in the meantime, I don't mind being single. In fact, for the time being at least, I'd prefer it. Being in love is way too much hassle. Just making friends with Stephie and helping her find a job and introducing her to my New Jersey pals, and maybe learning how to pierce nipples and belly buttons… that's all I want right now."

.-.-.-.

Cameron went home alone on his motorcycle, just as he had arrived. He offered Jessica a lift out of politeness, but she wanted to stick with her mother and father, just as he knew she would. Roland drove everyone besides Cameron back to the firehouse in the Ecto-1, dropping Garrett off at home on the way. Stephie got out with him, and accompanied him to the door of his apartment block.

"I'm sorry about that," she said.

"We don't know if she's back to normal," said Garrett. "It might not have been you."

"Well, there's only one way to find out, isn't there?"

"I guess so."

There was a long pause.

"You should go," said Garrett. He nodded towards the Ecto-1, where all three Venkmans could be seen not looking at each other in the back. Jessica looked pretty bad. She hadn't even cried yet - all she could do was stare. "I think they want to get her home."

Stephie nodded. "Okay."

"Keep in touch, won't you?"

"Really?"

"Of course. Y'know, I was totally smitten with you all those years ago, and that was because I liked you. That hasn't changed. So… let me know how it goes, okay?"

Stephie smiled. "Okay." Then she headed back to the Ecto-1.

Garrett went into his apartment, and was immediately pounced on by Knicks, their overzealous young dog. Officially it was around Max's bedtime, but as far as Garrett knew, he was still with the Riveras. Jo was doing some clearing up in the kitchen.

"Oh, hey," she said, when she saw Garrett. "You're late."

"Sorry."

"It's okay. Max is having a sleepover with Rose - he's Ky and Eddie's problem tonight."

"That's not really fair on them, is it? Maybe we should have given him less sugar."

Jo stared at him for a moment. Then she said, "What?"

"You suggested it earlier."

"I don't think so, Garrett."

Garrett allowed himself a sigh of relief. It looked like she really was back to normal. Just to make absolutely sure, he said, "A few more organised activities to wear him out, then."

"That's more like it," said Jo.

"I'll tell you why I'm late."

"Okay."

"Oz died."

"Oz… died? Jessica's boyfriend? He died? Oh my God! How is she?"

"I'm not sure," said Garrett. "She's just… quiet."

.-.-.-.

Once they were back at the firehouse, Roland headed over to his own car with Celine and Stephie. Peter watched them for a few moments. He didn't know exactly what was going on between Roland and Celine, if anything, and frankly he no longer cared. He looked at Jessica. She and Dana were walking towards his car.

"How are you feeling, Jess?" asked Peter. "Did you inhale much smoke? Maybe we should take you to the hospital."

Jessica shook her head. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm not going to the hospital, Dad."

"In that case I think we should go and break the news to Conchita in person."

"To Conchita? Why?" asked Dana.

"She liked him," Jessica said expressionlessly, still not looking anyone in the eye.

"She wanted to help," Peter added.

"All right," said Dana. "If you both think it's a good idea, let's go."

.-.-.-.

The Riveras' apartment was small, and the front door led straight into the living room. Eduardo answered it, and Kylie and Conchita were both visible behind him. Rose was, presumably, asleep. None of their three visitors considered Max, who was also in the apartment. Conchita looked ready for bed, wearing a pink t-shirt and yellow shorts, her hair braided. She had Kylie's chin on her head and was curled up against her breasts, staring at something on the TV. She looked like the archetypal cute little girl. Neither Peter nor Dana could even state their business to Eduardo. They just stared at Conchita.

"I'll tell her," said Jessica.

"Tell her what?" asked Eduardo.

"Oz died."

Conchita heard that. She leaned forward and said, "What?"

Jessica brushed past Eduardo and entered the room. She stood over Kylie and Conchita, looking at the floor, and said, "Oz died."

"How?" asked Conchita.

"Oh… it's complicated. There was kind of a fire…"

"She's so calm," said Eduardo.

"Which one?" asked Dana.

"Jessica. Chita won't be calm in a minute. She's never gonna forgive me for this."

"For what?"

"For not letting her go and help."

"She couldn't have done anything," said Peter.

They heard Jessica say, "You couldn't have done anything."

"She doesn't know that," said Eduardo. "And now she never will. Anyway, it wasn't just at the end I wouldn't let her see him. It was as soon as I found out about that whole stupid thing with my earring. I said she could never see him again."

"Maybe you should tell her what he did," said Peter.

"Maybe I will," said Eduardo. "It's all so complicated, and she'll want the full picture - I wish I was better at explaining things to her. She's so much smarter than me."

Conchita was already in tears by the time he'd said this.

"He did something to hurt your dad," said Jessica, still talking in a monotone. "Did you know that? They only do it because they care about us. Parents, I mean. Oz might have done something to hurt you too, eventually. You should stay away from guys like that."

Then she turned and walked out, somehow avoiding a collision with Eduardo or either of her parents in the doorway, in spite of apparently taking little notice of where she was going. Peter and Dana stayed where they were for a moment, perhaps trying to think of something to say, then turned without a word and followed their daughter. Eduardo, very afraid of the look he might get in return, turned his gaze onto his own.

"I'm sorry," he said.

Conchita, for the first time in her life, glared at him. "No you're not."

"I'm sorry you had to lose a friend," he said. "But you're right - I'm not sorry he never got a chance to hurt you."

"He wouldn't have!"

Eduardo didn't say anything else. She was upset, and he didn't want to aggravate her by trying to justify himself. He looked at Kylie, and she was looking straight back at him. He thought he saw guilt in her eyes. She was the one comforting their daughter, but she wouldn't have let her see Oz again any more than Eduardo would have, given the chance. It was just that she'd never actually had to say so.

"I'm going to bed," said Conchita, and she stood up to go. Then she stopped.

"Use our bed, honey," said Kylie, knowing Conchita had remembered that her own bed was currently full of Max Miller.

"I guess she needs you tonight more than I do," Eduardo said dully, when she had gone.

"Sorry. I can't let her sleep on the couch after this."

"Of course not - I'll take it. You should probably go and tuck her in."

"I will," said Kylie. "In a minute. She'll forgive you, you know. Soon. Especially if we take her through it bit by bit when she's had a chance to calm down. Besides, she knows what Jessica said is true: it's because you love her."

"I wonder how Jessica's really feeling," said Eduardo.

Kylie shook her head. "We don't even know everything that happened yet. Oz was nuts. For all we know, he could have been trying to kill her."

.-.-.-.

Jessica, even after all of that, still had her school bag with her. She rifled through it for her keys while Peter parked the car in the driveway; then she got out of the car and let herself into the house faster than she knew she could. She sensed Peter close behind her, and she had a feeling he wanted to say something.

But it was Dana who spoke first: "Don't do this now."

"No." Jessica, about to go up to the bathroom, turned at the foot of the stairs. "Do it now. I want this over with."

Peter raised his eyebrows. "Do you?" His tone was challenging, as if to imply that there was no reason why she should get what she wanted.

"I've been an idiot," said Jessica. "I know."

"I don't understand you," said Peter. "You're impossible, but I've put up with your shit for fifteen years. I have to let you have your own way, because you are just the kind of kid who gets told she can't do something and then does it ten times worse behind her parents' back. You miss your curfews and you go out with demons and warlocks, and I have to go easy on you because I do not want to make an enemy of you. If you're not on my side, you'll go off the rails. But you're doing it anyway! I do the best I can with you, I treat you with respect - like an adult - and you still go behind my back!"

Jessica glanced at Dana, then looked back at her father. "It's just you I do it to, is it?"

"Your mom wants to be harder on you," said Peter. "You know that. Sometimes she is. But then you come to me, and you manipulate me into undermining her."

"Have you finished?" asked Jessica.

"No," said Peter. "Jess… I love you. We both do. And I'm terrified, because if you carry on like this you are going to get yourself killed! Two and a half years ago you went to a school dance, and I found you about to get bitten by a vampire. Then later I find out you'd been seeing him on a regular basis! You go to Cameron's house for a soda, and you end up in the hospital and everyone thinks you've been drugged and raped."

"That was an accident."

"It was a potentially fatal accident! Unlike the other two, Cameron is not a bad guy, but he's dangerous to know. And now this! I just don't know what to do with you anymore."

"Can I go now?" asked Jessica, not bothering to remind him that dangerous-to-know Cameron was the main reason she was still alive.

Peter might have been about to say no, but Dana answered first: "Yes."

Jessica went upstairs, and they watched her until she had shut herself in the bathroom. Then Peter turned to Dana and said, "You're supposed to be the strict parent."

"What was the point?" said Dana. "You finally snapped."

"Yeah, and you stopped me."

"Well, if there's more, it can wait. Her boyfriend died tonight."

"They'd split up."

"Ex-boyfriend, then. It's still a terrible experience for her. I'd be upset if Andre died."

"Even if he was… you know… doing all of that?"

"It's hard to imagine," said Dana, with an edge of wry humour to her voice. "Look, you've said it now. Can't you just wipe the slate clean for tomorrow?"

"Oh… sure," Peter said resignedly. "But what happens the next time?"

"You don't think she learned anything from all that?"

"Why should she? She obviously didn't learn anything from cosying up to that vampire. I mean… what did we do wrong with her?"

"Whatever you do," said Dana, "don't use the word 'wrong' when you're talking to her about this. You and I do the best job we can, and she still does stuff like this - she knows that. Don't remind her, because I can tell you where it'll lead."

"Where?" asked Peter. "Are you saying you know why she does it?"

"She's just frustrated. She may not be the perfect child, but… well, think about who is."

"Are you saying she's jealous of Oscar?"

"Well of course she is." She said it as though it was obvious. "I mean, look at him. He's gorgeous, and he's made a pretty good go of his musical career so far, and the only time he ever stepped out of line even a little was when he had a damn good reason, because we'd dragged him out of his home and made him move across the country."

"Well… she doesn't have to go off the rails! She could behave as well as he did!"

"Peter, you're the psychologist," said Dana. "But I'm the one with brothers, aren't I? She doesn't have to misbehave, but since - the way she sees it - she can't do anything as well as Oscar, she might as well not try to emulate his good behaviour either."

Peter stared at her for a moment. Then he said, "All this because of Oscar?"

"Well I'm only making an educated guess."

"But she's… she's as good as he is. And he's not better at everything - she's better at school. The only As Oscar ever got were in - "

"Music. I'm a musician - I wanted that for him - and you're living all your dumb teenage rock star dreams through him now. But she's no musical genius - she can't give us that. I'm not saying she's right," she said, silencing Peter's next argument before he could voice it. "But that's what she thinks, and that's what's behind all of this - I'm sure of it."

"All right," Peter said slowly. "So what can we do?"

"Sleep on it."

"But it's not even nine o'clock."

"I don't care, I'm exhausted."

She started ascending the stairs, and Peter followed her, knowing he would never get to sleep that night. Apparently he had a lot to think about.

.-.-.-.

Roland and Celine had, of course, already indulged in a somewhat conclusive little scene outside Oz's house. But now, as she and Stephie waited for the late but that would start them on their journey to New Jersey, Celine apparently wanted another. Stephie hung around several yards away while Celine hugged Roland tightly and said, "You take care."

"You're talking like a cousin I'm only gonna see every few years," said Roland.

Celine pulled out of the hug, and looked at him with one eyebrow cocked. "I think that's better, don't you?"

"I'd like us to be friends."

"That's not a good idea. My friends always either go crazy, or die, or both."

Roland gave her a sympathetic smile, put his hands on her shoulders and said, "Are you sure you're gonna be okay?"

"Of course I'm gonna be okay. I always am - it's the people around me that suffer. I'll have to be careful with Whining Girl, won't I?"

"Do you think she'll be okay?" asked Roland. "She seems pretty cut up about Garrett."

"That's because she's a fucking drama queen. Don't worry, I'll soon whip her into shape. If she wants to stick with me, she has to learn that it doesn't take a man to make you happy, or even a gay woman."

"Clearly not. In the end I didn't even get to pick, did I?"

"Did you want to?"

"No. You know how I hate to let people down - it's better that you decided."

"Well then," said Celine, "I've saved you the trouble. I never really believed you would have picked me over this Grace woman anyway - or at least I didn't after you turned down my first few offers of casual sex. You're a rare guy, y'know."

"I might have picked you," said Roland. "You'll never know now."

"Yeah, well, I know you're just being kind, giving me a nice thought to hold onto. If you really wanted me, we'd be down each other's throats right now. But you don't have to. I mean, if you had picked me… then what? I would have let you down eventually."

"Celine…"

"I'm not just being hard on myself - it's true. I don't really love you, Roland. Not like I should, if we were serious. And anyway, if I was thinking about having kids before…"

"You said all of this."

"So you go live in your cosy little co-dependent world where romantic relationships are the be all and end all, and I'll go home and have a life, okay?"

"Okay," said Roland. "Oh, look - I think that's your bus."

"Oh, you're right," said Celine, hurrying to catch up with Stephie as the bus drew in. She looked at him over her shoulder, shouted "Bye!", then pulled Stephie onto the bus and was gone. That "Bye" seemed far too simple, after everything. Roland knew that really was it. If she didn't want to be friends, they had no reason to contact each other anymore.

He went back to his car and drove straight to Grace's house, feeling overwhelmed with guilt. Actually he'd felt a little bit guilty ever since he'd allowed Celine to kiss him a couple of times back in November, nearly half a year ago.

.-.-.-.

Roland knocked on the door, perhaps a little timidly, and when Grace answered it she looked very surprised to see him.

"I thought you'd be all night," she said.

"Well," said Roland, "we found her."

"Oh, good. Is she okay? Come in."

"I think so," said Roland, following Grace through to the kitchen. "At least, she will be, but she's upset right now because her ex-boyfriend died."

"He died?" said Grace. "Oh my God, what happened? Sit down, I made dinner in case you got here after all - I just need to heat it up."

She pushed a casserole dish into the oven and Roland, sitting at the kitchen table, told her as succinctly as he could what had happened. There was something else he wanted to talk about, and he wanted to get there as soon as possible. Once she had shut the oven Grace stared at him, open-mouthed, until he had finished.

"That kind of thing's more likely to happen to a kid if their dad's a Ghostbuster," he said.

"I'm sure," said Grace.

"Doesn't that worry you?"

"You're not Natalie's dad."

"Yeah, well…"

"Are you asking me again if I want to have more kids with you? Because it was only last week that we agreed - "

"No, no, of course not," said Roland. "It's just… well, Dr. Venkman's stepson's had his share of this kind of thing too. Not quite as bad as Jess, but…"

"You're… not asking me to marry you, are you?" said Grace.

"No. Well… not yet."

She looked at a loss for words.

"This is coming out all wrong," said Roland. "Look, Grace… there's something I have to tell you. Come and sit down."

"I'm not gonna like it, am I?" said Grace, moving slowly as she took a seat opposite him.

"Well… not especially. See, there was this woman, and - "

"What woman?"

"I'm telling you. We met her on a case over ten years ago - she was a witch - and one of her friends started seeing Eduardo, and then she died last year. Eduardo's ex, I mean. And this woman was really cut up about it, and she got into some trouble. She started having a, um, relationship with their other friend. A woman."

No, that wasn't fair - he was making it sound like Celine had been a straightforward lesbian, and not interested in him sexually at all. He cleared his throat and carried on.

"But she… this woman I'm telling you about, Celine… she's bisexual. Well, she's attracted to people rather than bodies, anyway. She was in this relationship with her friend, but she kind of wanted me too."

"I bet I know why," said Grace. "You were kind to her, weren't you?"

"Er, yeah. Sorry."

"Why? Were you kind to her in a way you have to be sorry for?"

"She was in a bad place," said Roland. "She was doing all these weird magic spells with this other woman, and they were trying to hurt Eduardo in various ways, and they were both in danger of tipping over the edge. The one who isn't Celine - her name's Wanda - she's in a mental hospital now, but Celine… she was always kind of on the fence. I hoped maybe I could persuade her to fall off on the right side… if you see what I mean."

"Is that a euphemistic way of saying you cheated on me?"

"No! No, Grace, I would never do that. I just… well, she kissed me a couple of times."

"Did you encourage her?"

"I don't think so. I told her about you straightaway. I told her how well we were getting along, and… it was back in November. I should have told you earlier."

Grace was looking at him, shaking her head with a bemused expression on her face. She asked, "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I want to be completely honest with you."

"But nothing happened."

"I know, but I still felt like I had to keep her a secret from you, so there must have been something wrong with what I was doing. Sometimes I had the feeling she was only letting me help her because she thought she could get me to fall in love with her, or at least sleep with her. I told her about you, like I said - but she kept on believing she could sway me, so I couldn't have tried that hard to put her off the scent."

Grace was still shaking her head, and had now covered her face with her hands. "Oh, Roland, you're being too honest for your own good. Is that all?"

"Yes."

"You said you loved me."

"I do!"

"Then why are you giving me reasons to break up with you?" She dropped her hands to look at him. "You're going to cause problems for Natalie; you made another woman believe you could fall in love with her… It sounds like you want me to dump you."

"I don't," said Roland. "I really don't - I'll do anything to make it up to you."

"Make what up to me?"

"Keeping Celine a secret. I should have told you."

"You must have thought about choosing her over me," said Grace, "even if it was only for a moment, because otherwise you would have told me. But I guess that's only natural… whatever that means. She offered to sleep with you, you say?"

"Well," said Roland. "Yes."

"And you obviously didn't take her up on it, otherwise you wouldn't have unburdened yourself with all that. Do you have any idea how many guys would have?"

"She said the same thing."

"Roland Jackson, you're one in a million."

She stood up and went to the oven, trailing a hand along his shoulders as she passed him.

They had almost finished eating before Grace brought up the subject of Celine again. She said, "I've lost boyfriends that way, you know, holding out on them so that they disappear the first time they find they can get what they want elsewhere. I almost feel bad about making them wait so long - but I have to know it's for real, y'know? I have a child."

"Of course," said Roland.

"It's not that I don't want to."

"Um… isn't it?"

"No. I was always sorry when they left, most of them after only a couple of weeks. I'm human too. I couldn't wait forever."

"Oh, well… no."

"But it never really mattered that much. They weren't anything special. I, um… I'm really glad you said no to that Celine woman."

Roland didn't know what to say. Then Grace stood up, walked round to his side of the table and climbed into his lap, which had to be a bit of a strain on the standard issue wooden chair, but it seemed to hold up all right.

"I want you to know," she said, "that I would have suggested we do this anyway, even if you hadn't told me you turned down another woman."

"Do, um… do what?" asked Roland.

"Roland, come on, do you really want me to make one of those crude dessert jokes?"

"No," he managed to squeak in reply.

"It'd probably make you even more nervous, huh?"

"Nnngh."

"Please try to relax."

He did try to relax as she kissed him in a way that wasn't quite like any kiss they had had before. It was wonderful and terrifying all at the same time… just like it was supposed to be. Relaxing was hard work, especially as she didn't seem to be nervous at all.

"I'm nervous too, you know," she said. Wow. She was a mind reader! "I haven't… you know… since Spence. It must have been about nine years."

She called it "you know". Roland thought briefly of how Celine might have phrased such a proposition… but then within moments, she was forgotten.

THE END