Shrek heard his wife scream and ran to where she was in a feddle postion crying.

"Fiona what's wrong? Are you okay? What happened?" All Fiona did was pointing at the toilet as Shrek walked over to where she was pointing and saw blood in it, "...Oh...That..."

"Shrek, what's wrong with me?" She asked in fear.

"Uh, d-don't worry, Honey. Just stay here while I make a few phone calls," Shrek told her as he ran to the phone.

"Daddy, is everything okay with Mommy?" Zacj wondered.

"Yeah. Everything's okay. It's just calling a few friends of hers."

-2 hours later-

Shrek heard the door knocking and answered it, seeing Snow White, Leah, and Carley at the front door.

"Took ya long enough," Shrek said.

"Hey, you can't blame us for being late since it takes me and Carley longer to get here because of college," Leah told him.

"Good point."

"So, why did you call up here, anyway?" Carley wondered.

"Follow me," Shrek said as the three followed him into the bathroom where he pointed at the toilet and saw the blood.

"You called us because you threw up blood in the toilet?" Leah assumed.

"It's not mine, you dunce! It's Fiona's!" Shrek exclaimed.

"...Oh."

"If it's here's, then why doesn't she just buy pads or something?" Carley wondered as Snow White realized why Fiona didn't know why she was bleeding.

Because she didn't.

Then Snow White walked into the room Fiona was in hugging her knees in fear and tears running down her face.

"Hey, Fi-Fi," She softly said.

"Snow! You're here! I think I'm bleeding somewhere," Fiona said.

"Where are you bleeding?"

"Uh, w-well..." Fiona didin't say anything except pull down her underwear down. Revealing a huge stain of blood.

'Yep. She's on her period, alright,' Snow thought.

"Snow. What's going on with me? Am I...Am I gonna die? Please, tell me!" Fiona begged.

Snow White couldn't help, but chuckle at Fiona's cluelessness as she sat down on the bed with her ogre girlfriend. "Alright. It's time...for the talk."

"The talk? What talk?"

Snow White blushed at what she said as she began to talk about the woman's body and how it works whose face was red during the conversation.

As that occured, Leah, Shrek, and Carley were playing Go-Fish while waiting.

"I can't believe Fiona doesn't know about the human body, along with not knowing about her period," Leah said pulling out two cards.

"Well, you can't blame her, though. She has been locked away in a tower for years," Carley said.

"Yeah, Carley's right," Shrek said.

"Good point," Leah said, "Got any fours?"

"Go-Fish."

"Now, that you mention it, if Fiona was locked in a tower for years without knowing how the male or female work, then how did you two, uh...well..."

"Don't ask. I had to tell her alittle about the birds and the bees before we had the children," Shrek said seeing Snow White walk out of the room her and Fiona were in.

"Hey, where are you goind?" Carley wondered.

"To get ads-Pa (piglaten for pads) for Fiona. And a chart showing te male and female body," Snow White said before running out the door.

"This may take a while," Leah said, "Carley, got any King of Hearts?"

"Nope. Go-Fish."

"Dammit!"