I wanted to think up something really fancy for this disclaimer… But for once, I'll keep it simple. Beetlejuice is not mine. Though I would like him to be. Though I would swim an ocean, or cross a desert, if I could have him. If he is by any chance, for sale for that price Mr. Burton, contact me. Until then… This is fan fiction, and making me no money… or beetles.
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Urg... Okay, this was a giggle fest. A cheap giggle fest, in some ways, but hey, it was harder to write than you'd think. :) I want more reviews people... Beetlejuice is in this one for longer than three sentences! Yay! Thank you to vannadear for the looong review! I luvs you!
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The ride was an impossibly long one, for the mere two miles or so to the school. Lydia wanted to cling to the poor prince for dear life, certain he'd be shaken to the point of breaking… But instead he was fascinated, staring at anything and everything they passed, running his hands over the seats and doors of the car, and otherwise looking as out of place as she must have herself, her first time in the Neitherworld.
It was strange, thinking of her world as being anything unusual, but there was no question that he found every little detail of it, very much out of the ordinary. He didn't even really seem to notice when the car stopped, instead inspecting the mechanism that raised and lowered the windows… In her dad's old car, that meant the rolling sort of handle. From his stare though, she would have thought it was something cutting edge.
"We're here." Her father announced, as Vincent didn't immediately emerge. It took the prince though, only a moment to realize what he should do, and he was out of car, opening her door, even as her father's hand stopped her from opening it herself. She almost winced at his forced demonstration of her date's manners… But Vincent was nothing, if not very well schooled on the way a proper gentleman was to behave.
Making a small, barely satisfied sound, Edmond regarded the two with no attempt to conceal his frown, his eyes still lingering on the boy he was begrudgingly entrusting his daughter to. "We'll be fine, dad." Lydia assured him, leaning in the window to offer him a peck on the cheek.
"Take care of my daughter." Was all he said to Vincent, still clearly trying to find a reason not to like him.
"With every ability at my disposal." Vincent assured him gravely, though the heartfelt vow was simply returned with a rather strained look from the older man. Once he finally drove away though, it was Vincent's turn to consider her with a worried look. "Your father seems quite concerned for your well being… Is this dance not given proper security? For be certain my Lydia, I would do all in my power to protect you…" The thought in fact, didn't even seem to faze him.
"Security isn't really the issue," She mused aloud, reflecting that 'security' of any sort, was only rarely required in Winter River, "It's more the idea of letting his daughter go anywhere with a boy. Any boy." Maybe especially the prince of the neitherworld… If he knew it.
This however, merely served to baffle her date more, so that he looked at her oddly, but to her relief, didn't press it. "I see." He agreed simply, though it was clear that he indeed, did not see at all.
She just gave him an apologetic grin, reaching for his hand… When he stopped her, an anxious look crossing his face. "There is one more thing, my Lydia." He murmured, making her pause, and look at him uncertainly. "We are to be, prince and princess for the night… Is that not so?" Slowly, Lydia nodded. "That would suggest…" And here he hesitated, before pulling yet another box out of nowhere, this one small enough to fit in the palm of his hand, "That we are, married, yes?"
Married? Lydia stared at him, her lips uncertain whether to break into a smile or a grimace. He was really taking this a bit further than she would have expected… Before she could point this out though, he opened the box, to reveal two slim ebony bands, one obviously made for a girl's hand. "If you would wear this, my Lydia… And be my princess… I would be a very happy man."
For maybe a bit longer than he liked, Lydia honestly didn't know what to say. So he continued waiting, never looking away from her eyes, his gaze lit with a lot more hope than she thought the situation called for. "Will you," He finally pressed again, softly, "Wear my ring, dear Lydia?"
Her heart softened, and so, could she know it, did her gaze. It was just for the night… "I will." She agreed, offering her hand to him. Vincent's face positively lit up, and he took the ring very delicately, and her hand, even more so, before slipping the cool band onto her finger. It tingled… She admired the pretty thing. Though it had no stone, it was undeniably beautiful, and felt light as a breath on her finger. "What do these words mean, Vincent?" For there were words… Simply not in any language she knew.
"For every story, a new beginning." He explained softly, his hand still lingering over her own. "It is something of a family quote… It looks very good on your hand, my princess."
The idea of being called a princess was almost ridiculous enough to make her laugh, but instead she caught him by the hand, finally dragging him forward. From the emptiness of the schoolyard, everyone else was already inside… "We're late!" She griped good-naturedly, brimming with excitement. "Come on, I want to see what Beej has done with the place…"
Shocked, Vincent pulled his hand from hers, making her pause too, looking back at him with a question. "Beetle-" He began, only to have her wince, and wrapped her hand over his mouth quickly, stopping him from saying the dangerous word. This too seemed to surprise him, but after a moment, he pushed her hand back, frowning. "Are you to say that he will be at this dance as well?"
Not certain what the prince's malfunction was, Lydia just frowned at him, then nodded. "Yeah, so what? They hired him as a decorator… It's going to be absolutely freaky!" Still Vincent didn't look pleased, and she began to wonder if he was actually jealous of the poltergeist. Her frown deepened. "Beej is my friend, Vincent," She told him softly, in no uncertain terms, "Whether you want to be his friend or not, you're probably going to see a lot of him, if you want to be around me."
Finally seeing his date's displeasure, Vincent nodded, a little stiffly. "I cannot pretend that it pleases me, Miss Lydia… But for your sake, I will do my best to behave civilly."
It was a weak compromise at best, but Lydia was willing to accept it, for now. She rolled her eyes though, as she grabbed his hand again, and muttered, "Guys…" Under her breath. Did he really think he was in any danger of being replaced by that grimy old lecher? Ah, who could figure boys out…?
The school itself was decked in the usual pitiful Holiday fare, but as soon as they stepped into the gymnasium, a thrill of excitement ran down Lydia's spine like a shot. For a second, she was entirely certain she hadn't been transported to the Neitherworld again… And a particularly nasty section of it, if her surroundings were any indication.
Skeletons ran the length of the walls, and draped here and there, convincingly, across the floor. Exceedingly realistic tombstones served as backless chairs, while moss and ivy had grown up, apparently overnight, in the high beams of the ceiling above. Oddities sat in jars as center pieces, most resembling human body parts, while other resembled anything but human body parts. And in a huge wooden vat in the center of it all, bubbled a thick red mixture that clotted and churned, and seeped a cloying mist.
Decay, death, and otherwise grotesque statues were spaced here and there, suspended from the ceiling, dropping every so often in the attempt to terrify someone. Suspended from what, she couldn't see, but they did convey the aspect of being watched from every corner. And everywhere, everywhere, just to add to the utter sense of abnormality, hundreds of rich bronze-colored lilies with long stems, draped over everything.
Lydia nudged a skeleton at her feet, trying to see how well put together it was, only to have the bones protest being moved at all, and sort of stick in the joints, while other parts came free easily, and rolled away. Despite herself, Lydia smiled. Oh shit, Beetlejuice… What have you done now?
"My word, this is… unusual." The prince murmured, turning his head to take in every aspect of the gruesome sight at once. "I had not thought that any part of your world so resembled my own."
"It usually doesn't." Lydia snickered, drawing on his hand again. "Come on, I want to see everything."
And as single minded as she could be, she set out to do just this, and quickly tracked down the best the party had to offer. She was giggling so much that she practically fell over her feet, save that Vincent supported her as she stumbled, apparently ready for this. She shot him a grateful look, and her once over of the party done, immediately began looking for Beetlejuice, certain he wouldn't want to miss out on the fun.
But a thorough inspection offered no sign of him, so with a sigh, she turned back to her date, her eyes dancing. "Can you believe this place is so freaky?" She grinned, practically bouncing on the soles of her feet. "I can't wait to find Bertha and Prudence… They've got to be here somewhere!"
"Is not the point of a dance, to… dance?" Vincent protested, managing no more than this as she began pulling him through the crowd once more. "Miss Lydia…?"
Before she could find her friends though, someone else found her. "Oh my GAWD!" Shrieked a high pitched little cackle, chilling her to the bone, and making every inch of her tense for a fight. "Lydia Deetz came as herself… A freak!"
She couldn't even see Claire yet, but only a moment later, she emerged from the crowd absolutely beaming from ear to ear, fluffed all in pink and taffeta, with a more subdued version of a princess's crown mixed in with her massive mounds of golden curls. Lydia wanted to wilt… They were wearing the same costume! Well, not exactly, but still!
"Claire Brewster…" Lydia murmured, forcing a smile, for her date's sake. "What an appropriate costume… Did you come as cotton candy?" This managed to slip out almost on its own, and she immediately bit her tongue, wincing. She could not afford to start a fight, not in front of Vincent. There was no telling if he'd still want to date her, if he thought she was the sort of girl who started fights!
A flare of anger reddened Claire's face, before she pushed it away with an annoying little giggle. "Deetz, you little insignificant pimple… You still don't know how to speak to your betters, do you? I'm a princess, obviously…"
"You, miss," Vincent interjected suddenly, making both girls finally notice him for the first time during the little exchange, "Are certainly no princess." His face was suffused with anger, his lips tight and drawn. "I would scarcely dare to think a true princess would even recognize you as worth her time to scorn, for such utter pretending!"
This time, Claire turned a deeper color of red, trembling with a moment in fury, before her next words escaped from between her teeth. "You insignificant little stick!" She hissed, making Lydia's heart flare in alarm, as she wondered just how the prince of the neitherworld would react to being spoken to this way, "I might have known that only such an utterly pathetic and loathsome guy would ever be seen in public with this loser… And apparently, you still had to wear a mask to do it!"
Vincent's eyes turned cold as stone, and after about a minute of forced laughter, Claire seemed to suddenly become uneasy, even looking a little nervous. "Well… You're just an insignificant nobody!" She stuttered, not certain herself what was unsettling her now. "And I'm never going to let you forget, Lydia Deetz," It seemed easier for her to address the goth girl, "That you came to the dance with someone who won't even show his face!"
Any further words she had to offer, were cut off as a shadow suddenly fell over her, and a heavy something dropped from nowhere, draping itself half over her back. Claire shrieked, scrabbling at what seemed to be a human corpse, resting its arm across her shoulders, head bobbing back and forth with the motion of being dropped, and stopped, so suddenly. She didn't stop screaming in fact, until she was completely out of sight, followed by much nervous laughter.
Lydia turned her eyes upward, not hearing Vincent's low murmur of, "And I shall be certain to remember you, as well…" as he watched Lydia's lifelong enemy disappear. It would have freaked her out a little, if she had. But she was busy looking for Beetlejuice.
After a moment without much success, she knew he was up there, even roughly where, but couldn't see him, she prodded the 'corpse' still dangling there in front of her, and admittedly, went a little white. It was, she was suddenly certain, not a prop. She tipped the chin up a little, and hissed between her teeth at the clouded over eyes, the blue lips, and the waxy flesh.
"You took this from a cemetery?" She snapped, not certain if she was more upset or amused… Or for that matter, if the poltergeist would even answer her.
Then she felt him near her side, and heard his low laughter in her ear. "Nah babes, I took that from a morgue. I took them," And she could vaguely sense as he gestured to the skeletons surrounding them, "From the cemetery." At her frown, his laughter just grew. "Lighten up, babes," He cackled, sounding more than a little insane, "It's Halloween…!"
"What if someone recognizes it?" She murmured, more to herself, though Beetlejuice chose that moment to appear in the visible spectrum, looking pleased as punch with his handiwork.
"Nah, flew that sucker in from New York." He grunted, feigning disappointment. "'Spected better from you, Lyds! Hey, prince-arino!" He greeted Vincent, who was, as he'd promised Lydia, doing his best to at least look civil, while he waited for someone to address him. "You see the look on that chick's face? God, that was priceless… Serves her right though, messing with our Lyds, huh?"
With this, he patted the prince roughly on the back, not seeming to notice the scathing look he was receiving in reply, and vanished into the crowd, even as Claire's 'admirer' disappeared back into the rafters. Chaos of course, followed him from the moment he left her side, as things inexplicably began floating or spilling in his wake… Or the occasional skirt flying up, caught in a random draft. And his laughter, over all of it.
"Our Lydia…" Vincent was murmuring to himself, narrowing his eyes as he regarded the back of the poltergeist, with unashamedly murderous intentions.
Lydia cast him a long, measured look, before deciding abruptly that it was time to change the subject, by any means possible. "You're right," She agreed suddenly, making him blink, and look at her uncertainly, "A dance is for dancing, Vincent. And this song is perfect." Actually, she wasn't even sure what song was playing… But god, anything to get him to stop glaring at Beetlejuice, like his new personal goal in life was to pop his head!
It took him a moment to adjust to her shift in mood, but Lydia was having none of that, already drawing him out to the dance floor. The song was actually some lame thing about ghouls and goblins haunting the night… It would have been fine, if they hadn't tried to go so over the top in an attempt to make it scary. As it was, it kind of left a bad taste in her mouth.
"I- I'm not certain what to think of this music, my Lydia…" He murmured after a moment, trying to figure out why she was leading, and what sort of dance exactly this song called for.
"That's easy," Lydia grinned, hoping to get his mind off the date so far, "This music sucks. But they'll play something better soon…" She was sure it had to be close to insulting to the prince, some of the lyrics that were being sung, but fortunately the song did end at that moment, and a new, softer voiced tune began to play across the gym.
It was Lydia's turn to freeze, suddenly uncertain, as the slow dance echoed through the crowd, and one by one, couples drew closer together to dance. She stared at Vincent, suddenly overwhelmed, and reflecting that several dance partners were using the darkness, and a moment of distraction from the chaperones, to sneak kisses. "Er, dancing…" She heard herself saying, the voice sounding nothing like her own. "That is, would you…?"
"Would you care to dance, my princess?" Vincent finished for her, drawing back, and dipping into a deep bow, as he reached for her hand. Abruptly, they were waltzing again, as before, with no regard to the music. Slowly, she began to relax. Vincent danced to his own tune, at his own pace… And at the moment, she was more than a little grateful for this.
At least until she noticed several of the other couples making way, staring at the two of them like some sort of oddity. At least in the neitherworld, no one had made her feel so out of place, just enjoying a dance… Then the murmuring started, and she wished more than anything to simply sink into the floor.
And then the dance ended, and while she pointedly looked at no one at all, she was amazed by the sharp, sudden sound of someone clapping. This was followed by several more guests joining in, until she swore, she was getting a standing ovation, simply for managing not to step on her date's feet. Dumbfounded, she found Vincent drawing away, and falling into a bow again, this time to the crowd, and she could only follow, with her own clumsy attempt at a curtsy.
What the hell? Her mind was spinning, but at the same time, there was this really big grin on her face, and as she followed Vincent from the dance floor, she swore that she felt lighter than air. "Okay," She whispered, a little giggle escaping her as she leaned close to him, "I did not expect that!"
"Yet you danced beautifully, my princess." Vincent pointed out, pleased by her reaction to the attention from the crowd, "And why should they not applaud, at the presence of one so radiant as you?"
Before she could think of a proper response to this, she was suddenly aware of Bertha dragging her date through the crowd by one hand, and Prudence by the other, while the little red head's date drifted along with a look of forlorn confusion, trying not to be left behind. "Lydia!" Bertha exclaimed, her voice drifting into giddy laughter. "I can't believe you didn't tell us you had a boyfriend! I thought we were best friends…"
Ah, a chance to escape the prince's compliment unscathed! Lydia pounced on it. "Bertha, this is Vincent," She said hurriedly, gesturing from one to the other, "And you so can't call him my boyfriend in front of my parents! Dad was already practically growling at him… And this is Prudence. They're the friends I was talking about." A moment's pause, as she tried to remember what to say now. "Um, but yeah… He's my boyfriend."
Prudence let out a little squeak of excitement, while Vincent practically glowed at being introduced this way. "Lydia is my princess for the evening." He informed the two, which made Bertha sigh dreamily, and Prudence squeak again. "And I, the luckiest ghoul in either world, for it."
"You've been hiding him." Prudence dimpled, while her date who was clearly starting to feel invisible, fussed with his store bought costume. He looked about as much like a zombie as… Well, as much as Beetlejuice's props looked like props! "Does he go to the boy's school?"
"Um, no… Vincent's from out of town." Lydia demurred gracefully. Way out of town… "He's only visiting for the night.
"A long distance relationship," Bertha mused, her eyes still full of stars, "That's so romantic…"
Vincent was smiling again, apparently already forgetting his irritations from just the minutes before. "I must say, my Lydia," He murmured, taking her gently by the hand, "I much prefer these friends of yours, to any I've met before." For this, he received a confused look from the girls, but pressed on, dipping into yet another bow, this time before her friends. "It is an honor and a pleasure, to meet the favored companions of my princess."
"Ohh…" Prudence looked impressed, and even managed a small blush. "He's very proper, Lydia. He acts just like a real prince!"
"And check out their crowns!" Bertha cut in, before Lydia could reply. "They really look real! Wow Lydia, your crown must have cost at least twenty dollars!" At her exclamation, Vincent fell oddly silent, and Lydia, again, found herself at a loss for words.
Suddenly, to her shock, Vincent started chuckling, actually dipping his head a little in amusement. "Twenty dollars," She was aware of him offering softly, "Yes, at least!" It was so strange, actually hearing the dour prince laugh, that after only a moment, Lydia joined him, followed by her friends and their dates. Clearly though, none of the latter really knew what was so funny.
After this, Lydia and Vincent excused themselves, and after a moment of discussion, decided to head to the punch bowl. Lydia was sincerely hoping that Beetlejuice hadn't helped with the catering as well… But the fare at the table looked far too tame to have had the poltergeist's hand in it.
Vincent stared at the candies covering the table, before finally pouring a glass of punch, and handing it to her. Lydia accepted it, but doubted she'd drink much, as it looked like a pretty standard orange-aide, and she couldn't stand the stuff. Instead she helped herself to a snack-sized chocolate bar. "Ah, these are for, eating?" Vincent mused, looking at the candies with a somewhat dubious expression still.
"Mm, chocolate." Lydia agreed, rolling her bite to her cheek to savor. "I prefer hard candies, but they never have those, and… chocolate is always good." Oh, this one had a caramel center too…
Gingerly, as if worried it might bite him, Vincent lifted one of the candies, unwrapping it, and looked at the treat within, a bit worriedly. She was about to tell him he didn't have to eat it, if he didn't want to, when daringly, the prince suddenly forced himself to take a bite.
Lydia swallowed her treat, and considered the prince's face, which looked decidedly uncomfortable. "You don't have to eat it." She assured him, albeit belatedly, snagging the remainder of the candy from him, and popping it in her own mouth. The prince looked surprised, but also decidedly, relieved. "Hey, I'm sure there's stuff where you're from, that I wouldn't want to eat either." She assured him with a small smile. "I'm not gonna shove candy down your throat."
She was about to take a sip of her punch, when somebody suddenly yelled those words that make everyone turn and look… "Someone spiked the punch!"
Surprised, Lydia turned to see who was yelling this, only to find the guy holding up the ladle with a big grin on his face, a large railroad spike balanced precariously in the pool of orange. In fact, the whole bowl was now filled with spikes, some so small that they were really just nails. And of course, there was only one guy who could have done that, without being noticed…
She just about fell over laughing, the cup falling from her limp hand, as she staggered around, trying to stay on her feet. Spiked the punch… It was such an asinine little joke that, in the end, she ended up getting the hiccups.
"Hic… Shit, Beetle- Hic!" She finally managed to make her way to the chairs, or what passed for chairs, and sat down upon the cold, worn granite, wiping her eyes. Now of course, she really needed a drink.
And then, just when she thought she couldn't enjoy the party more, she saw Claire Brewster once again headed her way, a defiant look on her face, as well as a merciless twist to her lips. And all Lydia could do was sit there, giggling helplessly, in too giddy a mood to even take the girl's threat seriously. "Lydia Deetz…" She began again, a haughty cockiness to her tone. "I just wanted to say-"
Before she could say what she just wanted to say though, a skeleton she was stepping over suddenly latched onto her ankle with its bony hand, making her shriek… Then, blushing, try to shake it off, as if it had just gotten caught on her or something. But no, now the skeleton tipped its head, parted its jawbone in a toothy grin, and cackled, "Hey toots, wanna dance?"
And then of course, Claire really started screaming, kicking and yanking at the thing determinedly crawling up her dress, and of course, taking a peek under it, which just infuriated her more. Lydia by now, could barely breathe at all, and tears flowed down her cheeks unchecked, her stomach twisting from too much laughter. She knew exactly where Beetlejuice was, he was clearly visible off to the side, his eyes burning, and lips twitched in a smile. But all Claire saw was her dance partner.
"I don't understand," Vincent suddenly said aloud, much to the further amusement of everyone there, "If she doesn't wish to dance with him, a simple 'no' should suffice. Why is she carrying on that way?"
There was no answer to this, but there was a hell of a lot of laughter, while Claire continued shrieking, still burning in rage, until she was able to throw the miserable thing off her. Then she stalked up to Vincent and Lydia, the latter helplessly caught in a fit of silent laughter, with the clear intention of getting her 'revenge' then and there, for all that neither one of them had done a damn thing.
Abruptly, Beetlejuice was there, still in the awful red tux, throwing his arm over the girl's shoulder. "Hey, hi, how you kids doing? You enjoying the dance? You know I am… Hey Lyds, can I talk to you for a minute?"
Claire had gone pasty white, clearly not certain which was worse, being touched by the skeleton, or Beetlejuice. Her mouth moved soundlessly, and after a moment, she just sort of drifted away, looking faint. Beetlejuice stood there, adjusting his garish red bowtie, as if he didn't even notice.
"So it's like this, babes." He greeted her calmly, a nasty grin plastered across his features. "I'm hoping to get laid tonight, and… Well, I've heard good things about that redhead over there." He gestured absently with his thumb. "The dame in the cat costume. Now tell me honestly… What do you think my chances are?"
Her fit of giggles dying down, Lydia lifted her head to follow his line of sight, utterly ignoring for now, the shocked expression on the prince's face. Instead, her lips curled into a smirk. "For getting run out of town with book and bell? Pretty good. She's sixteen, Beej. Try for someone a little older. Faculty, maybe."
Beetlejuice's lips curved down at the corners, as he regarded the 'more mature' set, few and far between, and not half as hot as the girl he'd been referring to. "Like who, babes? Doesn't look like a one of them has had a giggle in years. Throw me a bone, kid…"
Standing up, Lydia stretched to her tiptoes, and considered his choices. "How about that one?" She challenged, pointing to a woman in her forties who hadn't come in costume, with a prim set to her lips, and a tightly pulled bun in her hair. Beetlejuice shot her an exasperated look, and Lydia just grinned. "I'm serious, Beej. She was arrested last month for getting drunk, and dancing on the tables in the bar, until the cops dragged her off. She almost lost her job at the school."
Now he looked interested. "Babes, you are some kinda great..." He murmured, running his tongue over his hand, and slicking back his hair. "Okay, how do I look? No wait, don't answer that, already know." He gave a confident grin. "I look damn sexy, right?" And with this, he stalked towards the teacher in question, his sleaziest look well in place.
Vincent didn't seem to know whether to look horrified, or relieved. "Well," He said at last, as the poltergeist was almost out of sight, "I believe that should prove that Beetlejuice-"
"Come on!" A voice roared furiously over the crowd, the ghost in question poking his head back through those gathered with a baring of teeth. "No B-words, prince! Tell him, Lyds!" He cast an imploring glance at her, before disappearing again.
"You heard him," Lydia agreed lightly, "No B-words." At Vincent's frown, she sighed, giving him a sideways look. "Vincent… You really need to lighten up. Look, Beej is off chasing some skirt, so it's just you and me. Shouldn't you be happy?"
"I, suppose." He admitted reluctantly, clearly not satisfied by this at all. "Perhaps then, we should have another dance?"
Again before she could answer, a low hideous howling swept through the room, along with a very cold gust that left many shivering in its wake. The next thing any of them knew, ghostly shapes were crowding the ceiling, swaying here and there to music that suddenly changed to something infinitely more danceable.
Uncertain at first, gradually the students began clapping as the figures above swept and looped and spun with dazzling grace, entering their own celebratory dance. She didn't think they were real ghosts, more likely products of an overactive juicing, but Lydia, like the rest of them, was mesmerized by the sight. And as other couples began joining their ghostly guests out on the dance floor, dancers both above and below, Lydia finally relaxed.
This was good. Things were finally going the way she'd hoped they would. The dance was a success, Claire was in absent, and the music was the best she'd ever heard. At least for the moment, her heart felt like it had wings. Damn the consequences of what happened next…
She turned back to Vincent with a smile, ready to take him at his offer, and accepted his hand happily. "I would love to." She said simply. "It is a dance, after all… Isn't it?"
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