(A/N): Sorry that was a bit longer than a week but my brain had temporarily melted after having to do surprise exams as well as the ones already set… As I'm sure you could believe I was in no state to do anything, let alone write a fan fic, and therefore the first few days off were spent in a coma in bed. Anyways, while I was away, this story has had over 100 visitors!! Yeah!! BUT! There are still only two reviews!! So come people please, please, please review! If you like it or you don't… I even have anonymous reviews on here!
WHACK! Something smacked Dib in the face. He sat bolt upright and looked around only to see Zim and Keef standing over him.
'What's your problem?!' Dib cried, rubbing his cheek. Zim smirked.
'Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't see you all the way down there!' He said and walked off cackling with Keef smiling dumbly in tow. Dib grumbled, now he remembered; height was a big thing for Irkens… Well he'd get Zim back for that one.
'Come on Dib and Willie! It's time to get up!' Mr Elliot shouted at them from where all the other kids were gathering. Dib grumbled again and brushed himself off and got up, with Willie still caught up in the chain. When everybody was finally sitting down, Mr Elliot took out the folder. 'Okay, let's get started!'
'Wait what about breakfast?' Dib asked shocked. The kids didn't seem to like agreeing with Dib but they all nodded eagerly.
'Dib, don't call out. Put your hand up! And breakfast is included in the task. Anyway the task is called Heroes and Villains!' Mr Elliot read on slightly. 'Oh, this one's a fun one!'
Everyone's eyes widened and Melvin started shaking violently until he toppled over and his eyes crossed.
'Okay what happens is that half of you will be heroes and the other half will be villains and you'll all be given paint ball guns!' The class perked up, maybe they had been misreading Mr Elliot. 'If you get shot then you have to lie down and be dead for ten minutes before getting up and sitting in the "out" area. You can get taken captive by the opposing team and they can try to get information about your team's plans. Whichever team gets completely wiped out by the other first get to eat!' he said cheerfully. The colour drained from everyone's faces. 'And as a further incentive, you won't be given armour!' Mr Elliot added. It was almost as if someone was ending all his sentences with exclamation marks…
Zim had immediately grinned at the mention of guns. Of course human guns were far obsolete compared with Irken lasers but he'd gotten a Very High Distinction in the marksmanship course in Irken training.
'How long will it last?' Zim looked up when he heard the Dib-beast start speaking.
'As long as it has to.' Mr Elliot replied. Everyone looked even more aghast if that was possible.
Everybody was loaded up with paint guns and paint pellets and ready to be split into teams.
'Okay guys, I'll choose two captains and –' Zim was already marching forward, and dragging Keef along, standing next to Mr Elliot. 'Zim what are you doing?'
'I am taking my rightful position of Captain, sir!' Zim said, the soldier side of him taking over.
'Why should you get to be a captain?' Sara asked snidely from the group.
Zim scowled at her. 'I believe I'm the only one here who has received extensive training on Hobo 13.' The kids blinked. 'And PASSED!' He added.
'Only an alien would know what Hobo 13 is Zim! We aren't aliens, so why don't you explain!' Dib cried leapt forward. Zim's eyes darted around as he tried to think of an excuse.
'It is a, uh, perfectly normal training facility in, eh… Antarctica! Have any of you been? It's very nice in the summertime!' He finished. No one apart from Dib was listening. Dib slowly shook his head.
'Okay then.' Mr Elliot said. 'The second captain will be Chunk with Carl. Now start choosing your teams!'
Chunk went first and chose Flan and Brian. Zim then reluctantly chose Billy Slunchy and Alex. Eventually there was just Dib and Willie left and Chunk had to choose him. Zim smirked and crossed his arms. Mr Elliot handed out red headbands to Zim's team and blues ones to Chunk's.
'Alright! Remember the "out" area is back here and you get ten minutes to spread out!' Mr Elliot said gesturing the forest in front of them.
'What if we get lost?' Dib asked.
'Then it'll just be that bit more realistic!' Mr Elliot said grinning broadly. Dib raised an eyebrow but no one else thought anything more of it. 'Now off you go!' The two teams scattered off in different directions. When they were all out of sight Mr Elliot sighed heavily and slumped back in his folder chair. He scowled at a thought. This happy thing was hard to keep up, but if Bitters saw him now… He shuddered.
'Okay you useless pig-beasts; we're doing this my way!' Zim commanded while standing on a log. 'We're gunna try and ambush them –'
'This is STOOPID! Let's just shoot 'em all!!' Slunchy cried and the rest of the kids roared in agreement. Zim narrowed his eyes and stepped of the log and walked behind him and shoved his paintball gun into his back. Billy's eye bugged out; at point blank range with no armour getting shot would hurt.
'You gunna be a distraction, solider?' Zim asked casually. Billy shook his head wildly. 'Good. Now as I was saying…' The other kids didn't have any problem with listening now. They believed that, without a doubt, Zim would happily shoot any of them. Although it had taken some time for him to become a complete freak, he'd always been sadistic. Just look at Keef covered in bruises and dirt being hauled everywhere… But he really was a total freak.
'Okay, let's just shoot 'em all!!' Chunk cried and everyone but Dib hooted in agreement.
'No, wait! We need a strategy! Zim's probably teaching them all war techniques; we'll be out in seconds!' Dib argued. The rest of the blue team stared in disgust at him.
'It's just a game, loser.' Chunk pointed out.
'Do you want to eat tonight?' Everyone had forgotten about the stakes… No one said anything so Dib took that chance to start his strategy.
(A/N): That whole thing with Mr Elliot didn't have anything to do with the actual story, but... HE'S TOO HAPPY FOR A JOHNEN VASQUEZ STORY!! I thought there had to be a reason and Ms Bitters threatening him about something seemed pretty logical. If you read the script for "Simon Sez Doom" he's just so… -twitch-.
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