(A/N): Argh! I have so many ideas for fan fics it's not funny! I spent most of yesterday trying to get them all down before I forgot! After reading this feel free to check out my oneshot Dib and Zim? FRIENDS? NEVER! and don't forget to review ;)

Gir was having the time of his life in the wilderness. At first he'd gotten worried, what would he do now no was there no Master? Then the answer hit him like a piggy to the head. Anything! He'd already used up half of his jet fuel flying to the closest city and literally painting half the town red. He shed his disguise and aimlessly wandered around and found himself back in familiar territory. He'd chased a couple of animals till they either flew away or hid in a tree and now he was bored again. It was then that he heard the shooting.

He'd immediately gone into Attack Mode and scanned the immediate area. Finding no threats, he'd swung forward on his heels, stuck his tongue out and activated his jets and flew closer to the sound.

From what he could see it was just a bunch of harmless children playing. His mind didn't linger long on the oddness that they would just be out here, until he saw one well-known face among the crowd.

Master! Gir thought happily. But something inside him stirred. It was the little Red voice that controlled him. It told him when to be serious and when to pay attention. Generally it stayed quiet but if he ever disobeyed, it usually hurt.

He's not your master anymore. He deserted you, remember? He calls you stupid when it is quite clear it is HE who is the stupid one. It said, cruelly. Gir flinched.

He'll always be my master! Gir stated. His head began to throb painfully.

Not anymore. The thing stated bluntly. You – NO! We need to get him back… It hissed. Gir had once wondered if he was imagining the voice all along, because he knew he should listen to Master, but he would never think things like this about Master!

How..? Gir asked.

Revenge… We'll leave him stranded out here! No technology… No nice little Gir to come pick him up… And we'll greet him with a pleasant smile back in the base. If he ever does get back… Gir's antenna drooped. That would be wrong…

But why? Gir felt a sharp ache cut through his mind. Oww… Gir whimpered.

You're going to do this Gir…Gir unhappily complied. As he felt the recognisable rush flood through him as the Red took control and the colour seeped into his eyes, Gir slipped quietly into the background to watch. Pink tinted his vision.

'Wahahaha!' Zim cried happily. He hadn't had this much fun on the stinking ball of dirt since he'd trapped the Dib-human with the robot gopher. A kid with a blue head band stuck his head around a tree trunk and Zim nailed him right between the eyes. His partner looked surprised and went to help him up and Zim shot him in the small of his back. They both scurried away quickly, without waiting around to be "dead" for ten minutes. Zim looked around, there was no one else in the clearing that he could see, but he had to make sure.

Little did he know Dib was there, in that same clearing. And he was scared stiff. Zim had single handedly taken out his entire team now, apart from him and Willie, and even his own team had fled. Dib didn't trust Willie to stay quiet so he had shoved his head into the dirt, but Willie didn't seem to care much now that he could breathe properly as Dib had mercifully taken the chain off his neck. Dib quaked in his boots as he heard Zim crunch past the fallen tree they were hiding behind.

'Hey Master! I think I see something!' Keef stopped. Dib's heart stopped as well. It would hurt if Zim found him now…

'Where?' Zim asked, obviously not believing him.

'There was something glowing red over there. Hey you! Whoever's glowing red over there come out!' Keef called in a "commanding" voice. Dib breathed out a sigh of relief. He wasn't glowing red… He shot a glance down at Willie, just to be sure.

'There's nothing there, stink-pig. You were wrong. AGAIN.'

'I'm sorry Master…'

'Now I shall take a seat on that fine looking log over there.' Zim stated and Dib nearly fainted. It was now or never…

It all seemed to happen in slow motion. Dib grabbed his paint ball gun and, forgetting he was attached to Willie, spun around to face Zim. Zim's eyes widened and then he gritted his teeth and went to hold his gun up, forgetting that he was holding it in the hand that was attached to Keef. Zim's hand jerked when it reached its limit on the chain and so did Dib's but, unlike Dib, Zim shot anyway and a pellet landed on his glasses with a thwack and Dib leapt back in surprise and whipped his hands to his face, paint covered the entire lens. Both Zim and Dib's handcuffs snapped in the middle and having the sudden weight taken off they both tripped and stumbled over a tree roots and continued to tumble down a large slope.

Keef blinked. He looked at his wrist. Zim wasn't there anymore. 'Master?! Where are you?!' Keef cried looking desperately around. Willie looked up and saw Keef standing there.

'Ah-roo?' He inquired. Keef noticed Willie.

'Come on Willie, we need to go back and get help!' Keef said and ran off in the direction of the out area.

'Yaaaaargghhhh!!' Dib and Zim yelled as they rolled over and over down the valley. When they finally came to a stop it was very forcefully as they smashed into the same huge tree. They both groaned in pain and slowly cracked their joints back into place and sat up.

'Uhn… This is all your fault, Dib!' Zim accused.

'What?! Ow… How?!' Dib asked incredulously.

'If it weren't for your, uh, stupid, um… meddling! Then we wouldn't be here!' Zim struggled. 'And if it weren't for your stupid "bet" then I could be flying out of here right now!'

'That – Ah this is pointless. I'm getting out of here.' Dib said, carefully standing up.

'Wait for me, pitiful human!' Zim said getting up as well. 'Uh, which way did we come?'

'Well, we went down, so now we go up, stupid.' Dib replied sarcastically. Zim narrowed his eyes and pointed at the fact that there, about five metres away on either side of them, was two identical slopes. 'Oh no… No, this isn't happening!'

'I assure you that it most certainly is, and if you don't get us out of here, then I will make sure that you will never have another moment of happiness ever again!' Zim said darkly. Dib leaned away from him. He had channeled Gaz perfectly then… Then he continued to complain about his lack of equipment.

'Well, we were rolling clockwise, so we must've come from… that way.' Dib pointed. Zim squinted at him.

'Are you sure, Dib-monkey? Because I could've sworn I was already facing that way when I got up, so we must've come from that way.' Zim pointed in the opposite direction. Dib sighed.

'You're just trying to make this hard aren't you?' Dib frowned.

'Of course not! I want to get out of here just as much as you do. It's getting dark…' He shuddered and looked worried. Was Zim afraid of the dark..?

'We should go this way!'

'No, I don't want to get lost. We go THIS way!' The two continued to argue until it was properly dark.

Gir located Zim once again. He had seen the whole event in the clearing and knew there was another boy with him. The big-head boy he hated… Zim was just making this too easy for him. Gir laughed softly to himself. Things were only going to get worse for him though.

Dib and Zim were still arguing when Dib saw a bright flash of red over Zim's shoulder.

'What was that?' Dib asked cautiously. It didn't help that he was half blind from the pink paint encoating his glasses.

'What was what?' Zim asked turning around.

'You can't trick me Zim! You're just trying to scare me! I knew you would've cheated with our bet anyway, Zim!' Dib said nervously.

'I don't know what you're talking about, Dib-stink.' Zim said and crossed his arms. Zim's incredible eyes spotted something behind Dib. He frowned. Dib turned around cautiously.

'What's going on?'

'Even if I knew, do you think I would tell you?' Zim said and recrossed his arms. But there it was again. It flickered but then stopped moving and focused into two perfect red circles. Zim drew a sharp breath in between his teeth. 'G-Gir..?' Dib whirled around.

'Gir?! I knew it! I –' Dib began, but a winding up sound hummed loudly.

'What are you doing Gir?! Stop immediately! I am your master! Don't you dare –'

I have no master! Gir's voice rang through the forest. His eyes disappeared and the whirring sound grew louder. Zim's eyes became the size of saucers.

'Is that the..? Arghh!!' Zim didn't bother finishing his question and had already taken off running with his spider legs unfolding as he went.

'Hey Zim?! What's happening?!' Dib called but then Gir stepped out of a bush. A huge laser canon was sprouting out of his head. 'Arghh!! Wait for meeeee!!' Dib screamed after him.

As Zim was streaking along blindly he heard rustling next to him he glanced out of the corner of his eye and saw a stream of red running along smoothly beside him. Then he was flat on his face because his spider legs had gotten tangled in a tree root. And then Dib tripped over the mess of his legs and smacked down beside him. When Zim looked up there was no trace of red anywhere, just pitch black.

Dib and Zim both sat bolt upright at the same time. 'Hold me..!' They both whimpered and sat in fear, shaking.

Gir was already jetting home. Redness seeped out of his view and he giggled manically, already forgetting what he'd just done.

Aw, is my holiday over already over? He asked Red.

(A/N): I love the quick endings that make you wonder for ages after how they got out of that situation... That's why one of my favourite episodes is Bolognius Maximus. You get all lined up for a good ending then, BAM. This one is there!

Friend: They're just sausages..?!

Me: Yep. Funny, huh?

Friend: How is that funny?

Me: Boloney is funny!

Friend: -sigh-

I'm not sure if you'd still have your eye after that paintball incident with Dib, but this is a cartoon, it doesn't have to make sense! It may also have something to do with the fact that it's 12:30am and I'm watching the Late Show with David Lettermen and he's talking about how politicians should only be pretty people and how he's wearing his "Sarah Palin" glasses. I need to go to bed…

McCain in the Membrane. Wtf. That's honestly what they're talking about.