Epilogue

"I don't know how to make lots of money
I don't know all the right things to do
I can't say where we'll go, but the one thing I know
Is how to be a good man to you
Until I die that's what I'll do."

Plain White T's, "Write you a song"

Maybe… maybe that hadn't been such a good idea after all, but now that she's here, complaining about it is useless, anyway. And she can't go back either, because getting here has already strained her more than she likes to admit. But she simply couldn't stay in the infirmary anymore. The after-effects of the infection are almost gone now after four more days, with no lingering bacteria whatsoever in her blood and the grazes are mostly healed. The only things really bothering her are her wrist and her ankle, and she doesn't have to stay in the infirmary for them to heal.

But if she's honest, the main reason for desperately wanting to get out of the infirmary had been that she wanted to be close to Evan again, without having to watch over her shoulder every time one of them so much as caresses the other one. She also has finally worked up the courage to keep to her part of their deal, and she can't do that in the infirmary. But it's just fair, because only a day after their first real talk, Evan had started to sort through this non-frat paperwork on her bed and had, without any further ado, simply accepted – even asked for – her help when she had given him her input.

He has also told her that they are still searching for Alton and even found a few survivors of Hamrash's traders. The relief in his eyes had tugged at her heartstrings, and talking to Teyla had revealed to her that he still feels somehow guilty for what happened. She had asked Teyla what she could possibly do to make him feel better, but all Teyla had said with a wise look at her had been "He has everything he needs. Just give it time." It had made her want to be alone with him even harder.

So the moment Jennifer had declared her germs-free, she had started to pester and bugger and cajole the doctor to let her go. It had ended with her solemnly promising Jennifer that she wouldn't do anything more than get to Evan's quarters, sit down on his bed and wait for him to come back from his day on the mainland today and keep from anything more strenuous than reading and writing and sleeping for the next three days.

And now she sits here and waits for him. She knows that he likes to get back to his quarters, have a shower and generally unwind a little before coming down to the infirmary to her, and she uses that to surprise him. But so far, he hasn't appeared, and she's starting to get a little drowsy after her Herculanean efforts to get here.

Which is why, in the end, both of them are a little startled when he finally enters his quarters. "Whoa, Laura! What the hell are you doing here? Scared the living daylights out of me."

She needs a few moments to become fully awake and register where she is. Sleepily she answers: "How the hell did you get promoted to Major at your age when a simple Lieutenant in your bed scares you, huh?"

Now grinning, he sits down on the bed. His hair is all messed up and wet and his BDUs are mud-stained, as are his boots. There's some dried mud on his face as well. Seems to have been quite the hard day on the mainland. "You know, there was a time when a Lieutenant in my bed could have cost me that promotion." With that, he bends over to her and gives her the first real kiss in over a week. Not caring a bit about getting her share of his muddy and wet BDUs, she responds eagerly, instantly knowing why she really needed to get out of the infirmary.

When he lets go after what seems like an eternity she can't hold back a smug grin and says: "Thank God those times are coming to an end." Then she takes in his ruffled form again and adds with frown: "And what the hell have you been doing on the mainland? Mud wrestling?"

"Let's just say… I whipped my new team into shape. There was a lot of rain involved, too." She can imagine the whipping he gave his new soldiers. Simmons and McPherson were surely in for the survival exercise of their lives. And Meyers probably had fun seeing the new guys get their first real taste of their new CO.

"Yeah, I can see that. Hope you left them all in one piece." Especially Simmons, who seems to have drawn quite the negative attention from various members of the Atlantis officer corps, including Maureen Reece, Thomas Moore, Matthias Morsberg and various other long-term military expedition members. According to Meyers, even some of the NCOs and enlisted seem to have taken great offence in something he must have said about Evan in the mess hall.

"Don't worry, they can still crawl… at least to their quarters. I think." Is that righteous satisfaction she hears in his voice? "Anyway, I think I deserve a shower now." He stands up again, and she simply can't resist saying it.

"More like you need a shower, Major Mudball." At the door of the shower, he half turns around again and gives her a suggestive grin.

"Wanna join me?" Her only answer is a cushion right in his face, and his laughter even goes on after he's disappeared into his bathroom.

When he's done, she has already managed to crawl under the covers and carefully curled up on her left side. He lies down to face her, with his head propped up on his arm. His other hand moves to put a strand of hair behind her ear and after a short kiss he asks: "Do I really want to know how you got out of the infirmary?"

"Well… I didn't threaten Jennifer, if that's what you're worried about." He makes a show of being relieved, which prompts her to stick out her tongue at him. That, in turn, results in another kiss. Obviously she wasn't the only one eager for a little bit more physical contact than holding hands and the odd hidden kiss on the forehead here and there.

"Is there a particular reason to your escape? Other than feeling deprived of my comfortable bed, I mean." God, she loves it when he's so full of himself. But she'd never tell him, because then she'd never hear the end of it.

"Actually… yes. There are some things I'd like to talk about and… the infirmary didn't seem to be the best place for it." For a moment, she can see genuine anxiousness cross his face and realizes that this just sounded like she was thinking about breaking up or some other uncomfortable truths and she hurries to soothe away the frown. "Hey, relax. I was just talking about these issues I like to run away from, as you pointed out."

But the frown doesn't really disappear. It just changes into regret and a bit of shame. "I'm sorry I ever said that. It was uncalled for and I didn't have the right to…"

With a kiss she silences him. "Don't. You were right about that, and someone really needed to confront me with it. So… I'm here to tell you a few things I shouldn't hold back from you."

She's positive that he is about to tell her that he's fine with her not telling him and that he never wanted to pressure her into something, but then he obviously remembers that thing about Marines and setting their mind on something and he concedes with a sigh: "Alright. You won't change your mind anyway."

Nope, she won't. But before that she has another question that's been burning in her mind for quite some time now. "Evan… can I ask you something first?"

He's a little wary, but eventually says: "Sure. Shoot."

"Okay… Do you really think each and every guy I come across here is a danger to you?"

His face tells her she's hit right home and that he even feels kind of caught. Huh. That's quite different from his reaction to her suspecting him to be jealous a few days ago. Then he saves at least a bit of his dignity with quipping: "Well… not every guy. Let me think of some exceptions… Zelenka, McKay, Woolsey… yeah, that's about it."

He chuckles, but she isn't amused. She punches him lightly in the shoulder with her plaster-casted right hand. "Idiot! If I'd feel like this about every woman that makes googly eyes at you, I'd not be thinking about anything else."

Rubbing his shoulder with a mock hurt impression he huffs: "You keep telling me that, but I still don't believe it."

She rolls her eyes. "Don't tell me you don't even notice them."

"Notice what?" The expression of being totally clueless on his face is genuine, and that'll probably never cease to amaze her.

"The looks, the smiles, the whole nine yards! Just two days ago, Nurse Antonova was so trying to have a go at you in the infirmary." And it's true. The Russian had pretended to come in and check her vitals or something, but what she had really done was trying to catch Evan's attention with flashing bright smiles at him and giving him smoldering looks that even rivaled any looks from "Doctor Zhivago". She had been nearly ready to tell that ersatz-Lara to stay the hell away from her Major.

But Evan simply denies everything, and in all earnestness. "What? No! She was just… I don't even know what she was doing because I don't remember her."

The almost desperate expression on his face borders on comical and even elicits a little laugh from her. "I'm not kidding. She was trying to have a go at you. At my bedside. You can't be that oblivious!"

"Hey, I didn't even see her!"

The funny thing is: She actually believes him. But she just can't resist needling him a little further. "Yeah, sure."

"No, I really didn't. I was looking at you, Laura. I don't see any other women when I'm with you." Oh. And suddenly she gets more than she bargained for.

The honesty and conviction in his voice make her speechless for a moment, and all she gets out is a simple: "I…"

Very seriously now, he moves over to her to put a strand of her hair behind her ear again and this time his hand keeps lingering in the crook of her neck, warm and dry and giving her all kinds of strange feelings. "I don't even really see them when I'm not with you. There really isn't any other woman interesting me, Laura."

That's her opening. Maybe now she can drive her own point home. Quietly and equally serious she says: "And then what gives you the very stupid idea I might be even remotely interested in any other guys?"

He moves a little nearer to her and now their faces nearly touch. Which is why even with only the moonlight brightening up the room, she can see in his eyes that he finally understands that he doesn't have to be afraid of any other guy endangering his place in her heart. A little defeated he simply replies: "Point taken, Buttercup."

She smiles, relieved that she could finally erase the doubt in his heart that must have been there for so long now. "I hope so, farm boy."

Very carefully, he puts an arm around her waist and draws her to him, to close the last few inches of space between them. The other arm he extends under her head so that it serves as a pillow for her. For a moment she closes her eyes and lets herself be surrounded by the scent of him and the feel of his skin on hers and the sense of safety that got her through those horrible hours after Jennifer's escape engulfs her again. Only now is she ready to talk to him about what must be haunting him ever since their last mission together.

"You sure you're not too tired for some more talk?" She opens her eyes again.

"Absolutely. I've been sleeping for the majority of the whole last week. That should last me until next year. But, of course, if the mainland took its toll on you…" Not willing to let himself be bested by a jarhead, he puts on a very awake face.

"Never. Now… tell me some deep dark secrets?" He says it with a playful tone in his voice, but they both know that some of the things she's going to tell him are dark in nature. But maybe she should herself consider lucky to have found someone who can handle them.

"Mh… yes. If you tell me the deep dark secret that surrounds this." With that, she points to the tattoo on his right arm she's been wondering about ever since she saw it for the first time. He'd been willing to tell her the stories of his scars, but when she had asked about the broken Wings and the numbers tattooed on his arm, he'd quickly changed the topic, startling her enough to simply comply with it. Now she sees a second chance.

But it still surprises her when he, after a few moments of consideration, finally nods. "Guess it's only fair." Then it's settled. And so she tells him about her killing the lunatic back in the cave and what exactly happened when she had been alone with him and all the other things she has only told Dr. Obanashi until now. It's not easy for him listening to all of this, but when she tells him she kept all of this to herself because she didn't want to burden him with her nightmares, he just sighs and reminds her that he is a 35-year-old Major of the United States Air Force who thinks he has earned the right to decide with what he wants to burden himself.

Then he tells her that the tattoo has been there ever since the day he lost his first wingman, probably yet the worst day of his life. He still feels guilty for it, and the tattoo is meant to remind him of several things. For example that you can't keep some things from happening, no matter how hard you try. And that you have to get past them, accept them, but also should never forget them, learn from them. It's also there to remind him that military life means to have to cope with losses again and again, but to remember each and every lost comrade and friend individually and not allow oneself to let them blend into each other.

With the time going by, the talking gradually fades, and when she thinks that he has finally fallen asleep, she lifts her face from his chest and whispers with a smile: "Just so you know: 'Love you, too, Evan Lorne." She's not quite sure if she's just imagining it, but his mouth seems to curl into the tiniest of smiles. That smile alone, she thinks, is worth all the trouble she had to go through to come to this point. And another thought is coming to her. Yes… time. Time is all he needs for his own wounds to heal, and she is here to make sure he gets all the time in the world.

A/N: Whoa... whoa, I'm done with this. It's a minor miracle, considering that the Great Laptop Crisis caught me shortly after starting this story (and still isn't solved by the way... my laptop must have been sitting in Support for... four weeks or something now... I start to get the suspicion that someone finds this extremly funny...) and that inbetween I honestly had some difficulties with continuing, because stuff just wouldn't make sense, didn't feel right, was lousily written... well, the usual.

As for the future of the "Protect and Survive"-universe... I've decided to work a bit more on my humorous side. I'm already done with a little two-parted "family vid"-piece (think "Letters from Pegasus"), for which I'm still lacking the song (anyone know some nice and optimistic stuff that has to do either with mail or letters or the whole complex of brothers and sisters/siblings/family? I'm really drawing a blank right now), which is a little... aggravating, because usually with me there's first the song quote and then the story, not the other way around... And I have my mind set on a nice little multichaptered piece that includes the phrase "So G.I. Joe is marrying Lara Croft. Wow, wedding of the year." by Rodney (remember, I like twists, so don't go for the first assumption you might have with that phrase ;)), for which I still need to figure out how to get started. Anyone interested in either of these projects?