Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the characters.

A/N: I'm so, so sorry that I haven't updated in forever! I hope that you find this as funny as I did, and REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! Thanks! :

RockBand Scores & Commentary

By An Innocent Witness

Before you read, keep in mind that Jasper did not play, since he is a party pooper, and Emmett sang him the "Party Pooper" song countless times until Jasper was forced to try to replace Bella and failed immediately. Since this time, Emmett has only sung the "Party Pooper" song to him, but never asked him to play in his band again... Until two weeks after; Emmett said that Jasper was messing with his head.

Band One – The Name Has Been Advised To Be Kept Private

Edward: After hopelessly going for Expert on the mic, Edward experienced what Emmett likes to call a "smack down" from Alice. Who knew she could play RB on Expert? Edward didn't- obviously. He blamed it on the choice of band name, which Alice, Bella, and Rosalie picked. He'd rather that be kept private and I complied. After the "Dani California" incident which he also would like not to be mentioned, he acted like the sullen, depressed guy he was.

Emmett: "The Master of the Guitar" who conveniently went on Easy. Unfortunately for him, Edward failed, Emmett following suit soon after because, apparently, "Edward didn't go to band rehearsal" and also "messed everything up for him". "His night was ruined", as said in his very own words. He continued to whine on like a child about Edward sucking (which everyone agreed with). Everyone teased him immensely.

Bella: Shockingly the best at the drums, besides Alice ("Who happens to be able to do everything" Edward commented after all bands played). Towards the end of the night, Emmett called her "A freaking vampire if he's ever seen one" for her brisk and swift reflexes.

Overall, the band who's name would prefer not to be said sucked.

Band Two - Stalka's

Jacob: He showed up, surprising us all, and scaring the crap out of Esme, and PO-ing Rosalie till the end of the night. At the beginning of the song, he was absolutely awful. His voice is like a wolf's howl, except more screechy, like Leah's. It was because he was complaining about the smell, which is what he said. Eventually he got the groove of things, still failing to impress an Edward-occupied Bella. "Lose one, win one" is what he muttered repeatedly throughout the night.

Sam: The worst of the group, Sam should only be Alpha/Beta outside of the Cullen house, and keep out of any ranks at all in the Cullen house. That is all to be said.

Leah: She hit the damn drums so hard that the drumsticks broke, but really, she did well- even though she had to use her horny (hah, no, not like that- even though Sam was there) hands to forcefully try to push the drum set down into the basement.

Overall, I would give the Stalka's a place between the two next bands. It sucked and it didn't. At the same time.

Band Three – The Pixies

Alice: Beat Edward's ass to the floor and made it look dainty. That's all that needs to be said, since we have been notified- yet again- not to allude to Alice's ass-whooping, although I'm sure that Alice has already posted it on YouTube. Look it up- I almost peed myself when I witnessed it.

Rosalie: The most... physical of the group, if anything. Her perfectly manicured fingers played the color-coded buttons to perfection, and ended the song with a tiger roar toward a sulking Emmett and impure hand gestures. I have been alerted to explain it in full detail, but I think you get the picture, and personally, I think that it should not be repeated to the public, even though Alice already told us that it was going on YouTube. I advise you to not look it up.

Bella: Sucked... No, it was really good. Damn her and her clumsy reflexes which just so happen to come in handy during RB (Emmett said that, actually)!

Overall, The Pixie's did well, but were not half as good as the next band that played.

Band Four – The 'Rents

Esme: Who knew she could sing 29 Fingers by the Konks and bake cookies at the same time? That woman is amazing; I wish that she was my mother.

Carlisle: Oh my Carlisle. That is all.

Charlie: I thought that Bella's skillz came from her spunky mother, but apparently, they came from the police Chief. After the successful song, Charlie shocked us all with a victory dance which you can see in a Soulja Boy music video. It was fascinating, I must say.

Overall, The 'Rents rocked the place down.