Disclaimer: No change of circumstances: I still don't own Children of the Lamp. No change of heart either: I still wish I did.
Thank you, Suicune lord, TerryTarhop, and Stardawn for your so encouraging reviews.
Chapter 2
The words sank in. Layla and Nimrod looked at her, stunned. "What?" Nimrod finally asked. Layla seemed unable to say even this much.
"I'm going to be the Blue Djinn of Babylon," Ayesha repeated. "I am sorry I have to tell you like this, but I – " She shrugged, helplessly. "I thought it was the best way to let you know."
These words seemed to take Layla out of her fascinated trance. "Mother!" she exclaimed. "We don't care about the form you are giving us this news in. Is it true?"
Ayesha slowly nodded.
"But – but the Blue Djinn lives in Berlin," Nimrod said. "And in Babylon."
"Yes," she said softly, "that's right."
"You're leaving." There was no grief in his voice, just sheer amazement, as if he could not yet believe that his mother was saying what she seemed to be saying.
"Yes."
"When?"
"Today. The old Blue Djinn died a few hours ago and I need to leave as soon as possible."
"But the Blue Djinn is said to be famously hard-hearted," Nimrod kept arguing. "You cannot possibly become the Blue Djinn!"
"I have to."
"But why?" Layla asked. "I don't understand!"
"It's just something that I need to do." Her voice was calm, as always, but the shadow that crossed her face for a moment told the children that it was not easy for her, too. It was another indication that she was very serious. She meant every word she said.
"Mother!" Layla cried. "Maybe we haven't been good lately, but that will change. We won't use our power for whims, we'll do our homework and everything, won't we, Nimrod? Just don't go."
"Stop it!" Ayesha cut her off and the pain on her face became evident. "Do you hear me? Shut up! You two haven't done anything to make me angry. This is not a punishment. It is just a decision that the old Blue Djinn made a while ago and I accepted after careful thought. This isn't easy for me too. And it isn't something that I want to do."
"Then don't do it!" Nimrod said.
"I can't," she answered. "The Old Blue Djinn could not find anyone who was better suited for the position than me. It is something that I am obliged to do, for the well-being of all djinn in the world, including the two of you."
They were silent, looking at her in a way that made Ayesha cringe inwardly: who was she trying to fool? The well-being of all djinn in the world meant nothing to her children right now. All they could see was that they were going to lose their mother. At that moment, she felt the greatest temptation to change her mind and cancel the whole thing that she had felt since she had agreed to take the position. Only, there was the small matter that even if she decided that she wanted to, it was simply too late. The old Blue Djinn had anointed her and she had accepted. And the former Blue Djinn was dead. There was no one else who would take the position – no one could, except for the chosen successor. And there was no way that djinn could survive without a Blue Djinn – at least not in the relative peace that they had enjoyed for thousands of years. There was no changing of plans.
"I have made some arrangements for you," she said. "Mr Rakshasas and Edwidges will take care of you until you are old enough to take care of yourselves. You like them, right?"
"We do," Nimrod said, and then added cruelly, "Just not as much as we like you."
Ayesha quickly wiped her eyes. That was turning to be even harder than she had expected.
"Oh Mother, don't do it!" Layla exclaimed.
"I need to," Ayesha repeated and then switched back to businesslike tone. "You'll be well-provided for. You can keep this house and everything else. The only thing I will take is the house in Berlin."
Layla seemed to put her brain in action again. "Of course," she said. "The Blue Djinn always lives in Berlin, right?"
The question did not require an answer. Layla squeezed Nimrod's hand harder and Ayesha suddenly felt calmer. They will survive, she thought. They will help each other.
"I must go," she said. "It's time for me to leave. I want just want thing of you two: don't forget that I love you. Even when I change – and I will change, the Blue Djinn always changes, I don't know how exactly, but she does, - even when I do, remember that the real me does love you more than anything. I am not doing this because I want to – I am doing it because I have to."
No one said a word. Ayesha sighed, realizing how lame her words had sounded. What did it matter whether she loved them or not? What did it change?
"I'll go to and get my things ready," she said, desperate to get away from them, so she could put her own thoughts in order.
Two hours later, looking pale and more glamorous than ever, she hesitated at the front door of her luxurious London house – her former house, now. She was tempted to raise her head and look at the window of the library, where she knew that she would see two faces looking at her, but she decided against it – it would just make things harder. For all of them.
She left without looking back.
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Later this night…
"Layla? Is that you?"
The girl hesitated at the door, before finally entering, stepping cautiously in the dark room. "Sorry for waking you up."
"I wasn't sleeping anyway. Come here."
Nimrod switched his reading lamp on and Layla saw that he was really fully awake. Not that she was surprised – how could he sleep after what had happened today. He was fully dressed, sitting on his bed under a pile of blankets. He held out a hand and Layla went to him, snuggling under the blankets. She realized that he had put warmers all over the bed and she felt herself relaxing in the heat – being warmed always made djinn feel better, no matter what – but it could not provide them the kind of warmth they both longed for. Nimrod put an arm around his sister's shoulders and Layla clung to him. "What are we going to do now, Nimrod?" she asked.
"I have no idea. Maybe Mum will rethink her decision."
She clung to that hope. "Maybe," she said. "Or maybe she won't really change this much. I mean, I know that Blue Djinn is hard-hearted – everyone knows that! – but I can't believe that she will stop loving us just like that!"
A month later she believed it.
"How was it?" Mr Rakshasas asked as soon as he and Edwidges were alone. Layla had gone to her room and Nimrod had gone out, in the garden.
"It was as bad as you can imagine." She sighed. "I shouldn't have taken them there, but they insisted so much – "
"So, Ayesha had already changed?"
"Fully," she confirmed.
There was no need to say more, they both knew what had happened. The woman that they had known was no more. She would stay in Layla and Nimrod's memories and hearts as a stern, yet devoted mother – and a dead one, as well. Because the Blue Djinn of Babylon – almost a woman and the most powerful djinn that had ever existed, each one stronger than her predecessor – enjoyed many privileges, among them an almost absolute power over every djinn of all six tribes, both good and evil, being the supreme arbiter between Good and Evil, - but she had to pay a high price for that: she had to spend her life in total indifference to both good and evil and every semblance of feeling was literally cut off of her. Nobody knew the techniques that were used to achieve this effect, but it was a fact: there had never been a Blue Djinn who was capable to either hate or love anyone, never. Ayesha Godwin would not be exception.
"These poor children," Edwidges sighed.
"They will cope with this," Mr Rakshasas assured her. "They are strong."
"For their sake, Mr Rakshasas, I hope that you're right."
A few hours later, they found the children in the living room, sitting so near the flames in the fireplace that every mundane would have been turned into a toast. They looked sad, but calm.
"Are you feeling better?" Edwidges asked.
Layla smiled faintly, looking for all the world as a waif – a very, very beautiful waif with perfect skin, glossy black hair and sad eyes. "A little," she said.
"Now, children," Mr Rakshasas said, "I want you two to listen to me: it won't be easy, but you will make it. Finally. I know you can do this. And Edwidges and I will always be here for you, when you need us and even when you don't."
"From your lamp, you mean?" Nimrod joked weakly.
It was a well-known fact in djinn society that Mr Rakshasas suffered from agoraphobia after being imprisoned in a bottle for more than fifty years. Since then, he had been living in his lamp, going out only for short periods of time.
"Yes, even from there," Mr Rakshasas confirmed, pleased to see that Nimrod was displaying at least some resemblance of his old, joking, mischievous self. "I am sorry for the pain that you have to go through. I wish I could change things, but I can. Nobody can. I am sorry that you had to see your mother like that, but keep that in mind: that is not your mother. At least not the mother you knew. She is the Blue Djinn now."
"I think we already know that." There was unmistakable bitterness and edge in Nimrod's voice.
"Yes, you do. I've known Ayesha for many years, long before you two were born. If that can be a comfort at all, I can tell you something for sure: this Ayesha loved you with all her heart."
There was a long silence. The two children seemed to be considering that. Finally, Nimrod stood up and held out a hand. "Come on, Layla. He is right. Mother is part of the past now, isn't she? It's you and me now."
Layla took his hand and let him draw her to her feet. The four of them were headed for the dining room, when Layla suddenly stopped dead in her tracks. "If I ever have children," she vowed, "I will never leave them. Never! Never!"
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So, that was it – my first story in Children of the Lamp section. What do you think? Did I manage to draw a plausible picture of Ayesha's departing?
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