Eureka - Despite All My Rage, I'm Still Just A Mouse In A Maze.
Chapter 2
Okay, here we are at chapter two.
First off, a quick shout of to Claymade, who was generous enough to Beta this chapter for me, thus improving it simply by being on the same internet. Oh, yeah and I guess there was some kind of correction and comment componenent as well.
Anyway, I suppose I should give a brief glimpse of the flimsy reason that I'm writing this story. At first, it was simply to act as a diversion from DT, since I've been told I suck at it now, heh. Of course, at that time, it was a toss up between this story and an even stranger story featuring DT's Raven, writing a fanfiction about the Titans and the Ranma friends set in the World of Darkness mythos, and having it continually read over by Cyborg. I dunno, the story about a person in the midst of writing a story seemed interesting, and it was ridiculously easy to begin putting people into roles, but in the end I think it would have been a little too surreal.
This fic, on the other hand, is more of a challenge to myself now. After all, I tackled the dreaded Fusion with KB, and that turned out smashingly. So this time, I decided to break as many taboos as I could at once and see if I could still make it work. It started off as the oft maligned 'Crossing Anime with a Live Action Series'. At the same time, it's almost a Fusion, since there are obvious analogues forming, but at the same time, it isn't since the entire Eureka cast is present, if just not there. Then, of course, there was branching out into the MegaCross, which far more often than not tends to get overly complicated and unreadable (though some of my favorite stories have been megacrosses, so it can go either way.) Finally, I wanted to go the opposite route of KB, which was about as dark as you can get without being a Darkfic, and see how I could pull off a purely silly fic. Anyway, enough of that. Here's a quick list of the crosses, both blatant and inferred, from chapter one. (And I don't own any of them by the way.)
Ranma 1/2
Eureka
The Road To Cydonia (zmz1999 gets bonus points for picking it out)
Dragon Ball Z
Chobits
Project A-ko
Tenchi
Neon Genesis Evangelion
Cooking Master Boy (Anyone, anyone?)
Yu Yu Hakusho
Bleach
And more to come . . .
Enjoy if you will, Tolerate if you won't.
OOOoooOOO
Ryouga let out a weary groan, reaching up to rub the palms of his hands into his throbbing eyes – only to yelp as he realized, pointedly, that the pen he'd been writing with was still in his. The frustrated wanderer let out a few choice curses in the general direction of the honorless and cowardly writing implement. Predictably, it was resilient to his verbal jibes. Sure, he could snap the accursed thing like a matchstick, but then he'd just have hands covered in ink, and really, who would that help?
With slightly more force than necessary, he finished applying the fifth and final signature to the document he was working on, before flipping the sheaf of paper to the finished pile. It was with a most sour expression that he looked over the 'Completed Pile' and the 'Yet to be Completed Pile'. What was the saying? 'Ten pages down, about Two Cubic Feet of Wood Pulp to go?' The massive stack of paper that represented the unsigned portion of his Non-Disclosure Agreement loomed over him, mocking him with its lengthy clauses and twisting lawyer speak. It looked like a damned excerpt from a bad cartoon, now that he thought of it; who had contracts that long anyway?
With a sigh, he turned to glance at the young deputy currently lounging behind her desk. "You know, I'm starting to think that space walk idea of yours wasn't so bad."
Ryoko offered him the sweetest smile he'd seen this side of Akari. "That's why I suggested it, cuz I'm just the kindest, sweetest little thing you ever will see!"
Ryouga couldn't have stopped his eyes from rolling if he'd tried. "Riiiight."
He did another quick scan of the rather sparse Sheriff's Office. "Now where the heck is Saotome with our coffee? I think my spinal fluid is starting to dry up."
A mere moment later, as if summoned by the utterance of Saotome's name, the familiar door chime rang, heralding the return of the pigtailed scientist. He entered the office, casually juggling three cups of steaming hot coffee with one hand while holding a box of donuts in the other.
"I have returned . . . with coffee!"
Before Ryouga even had time to mutter the traditional 'About time', Ranma winged one of the cups in his direction. The small cup of scalding liquid flew unerringly through the bars of his cell and he absently caught the beverage without even looking up from his paperwork. The pigtailed martial artist then strolled over to Ryoko's desk and handed her the second cup. The cyan haired Deputy even had the decency to nod thankfully before taking a long sip from her coffee.
"So, how goes the office job?" Ranma asked, blowing on his coffee for a moment before partaking.
The Hibiki scoffed loudly. "Well, I'm starting to see why you never finished. I feel like I'm trying to negotiate a loan from Nabiki just reading this."
Ranma immediately burst into laughter at his joke, however their female companion graced the both of them with a confused stare. "Huh? What the heck is so funny?"
Shaking his head from side to side, the Saotome heir looked like he was about to give Ryoko the entire 'Nabiki Spiel' – When there was a knock at the door.
Considering that even in his short time there, Ryouga hadn't seen anyone else bother knocking before simply entering the Sheriff's Office, he joined his compatriots in glancing toward the door with interest. A moment later the door swung open, yet again slamming into the tiny bell and eliciting a perky jingle, allowing a rather unusual pair of individuals to enter the Sheriff's Office.
The first was a young woman, maybe only a year or two younger than Ryouga and Ranma themselves. Her flaming red hair flowed over her shoulders and down to mid-back, running in sharp contrast to the sleeveless purple top and the black, hip hugging slacks she wore. More exotic to the wanderer, though, were her brilliant emerald eyes.
Of course, as stunning as the woman was, she was almost commonplace compared to the person she was apparently leading around. After all, even by Ryouga's standards, a middle-aged man with blue skin was just plain odd. The bulky lab coat, baby mullet and facial scar all just added to the already bizarre appearance of the male.
Ryoko, being Ryoko, was not even remotely as interested in the odd duo as Ryouga was, and snorted loudly to get the pair's attention.
"Yo, what do ya want?"
The redhead strode forward, smiling confidently. Ryouga noticed, and he supposed it would be pretty much impossible for his rival to miss, that the way the young woman walked spoke volumes. If she wasn't a martial artist, and a decent one to boot, Ryouga would eat his own bandanna.
"I'm Kim Possible, the new Global Dynamics Recruiter."
The Deputy's eyebrow rose lazily.
"So?"
Apparently the blue skinned stranger found Ryoko's attitude to be quite humorous, as he snickered quietly to himself. The self proclaimed recruiter's eyes narrowed, as she obviously didn't share her companion's sense of humor.
"So, I have a new recruit here and I need you to take me to the Global Dynamics facility to meet with the Head of Research."
A familiar smirk wormed its way onto the cyan haired demoness' face as she threw her feet up onto her desk, leaning back to get more comfortable.
"So sorry, Princess, but I've gotta keep an eye on our prisoner here. Very important work, you know?"
Feeling a bit bad for the Possible woman, Ryouga waved helplessly from his cell. He was more than used to Ryoko's . . . 'helpfulness' by that point.
Ryoko then turned to Ranma, who had set himself up rather comfortably in the Sheriff's chair while the back and forth had been going on.
"How bout you, Lady Fingers? Up for another run?"
Apparently not feeling overly helpful himself, Ranma lifted his coffee in a mock salute. "Sorry, I just went on break."
"I'll take them," Ryouga offered quickly. He did so hate to see people get jerked around, considering that about half of his life was composed of getting jerked around in one way or another. Of course, his generous offer prompted uproarious laughter to begin flowing from said jerks.
"Ha! Nice try buddy!"
"Ha! You? Leading anyone?"
"Shut up, Ranma!"
"Make me . . . oh, wait, you can't!"
"Damn you!"
"Excuse me!" Miss Possible's sharp outburst was enough to immediately silence both martial artists. "If none of you are going to help me, could one of you at least give me directions?"
Ryoko, looking faintly annoyed by the fact that this Kim Possible lady had interrupted a promising fight between Ryouga and Ranma, snorted in a most unladylike fashion. "Sheesh, don't get your panties in a bunch. I'll call the facility and they'll send someone to pick you up. Why don't ya take a seat?"
Releasing a resigned sigh, the redhead led her blue skinned companion to the cell door.
"Can you open the cell for a minute? Dr. Drakken is still considered a security risk, so I've been ordered to keep him secured until he's spoken to the Head of Research."
Obviously not caring, Ryoko shrugged her shoulders before dropping her heel down on one of the buttons of her desktop. To Ryouga's relief, the cell door actually swung open. The blue skinned Doctor scowled darkly for a moment, but allowed himself to be ushered into the cell, where he quickly moved to sit on the cot beside Ryouga's. Then, with a silent swish, the door closed once more, locking the pair of them in with the small mountain of paperwork that threatened to overwhelm the wanderer.
Satisfied that her charge wasn't going anywhere, the redheaded recruiter then turned her attention to Ranma. "Hey, um, I don't suppose you could tell me where you got that coffee, could you?"
In typical Saotome fashion, the pigtailed lady killer graced Kim with his most charming smile. In a moment of eerie synchronization, Ryouga and Ryoko both groaned at the sight, the wanderer feeling a strange desire to unleash his lunch upon the stack of paper before him.
"No problem, Miss Possible. It's a place down the street called the Yang Spring; you can't miss it. Tell them that Saotome Ranma sent you."
"Why, so they'll know she's trying to mooch free food off of them?" Ryouga interjected sarcastically, relishing the dark scowl from Ranma.
Obviously misinterpreting Ryouga's utter contempt for the Saotome heir as mere friendly banter (why did so many people make that sickening mistake?), she giggled cutely at their antics. "Thanks, Mr. Saotome. Back in a sec."
And then, with a graceful turn, the recruiter flowed out the door and down the street.
Of course, with her gone, Ryouga, Ranma and Ryoko all immediately set about ignoring each other once more. For several blissful minutes, the only sounds that could be heard were the sounds of pen on paper and the occasional sipping of coffee followed by contented sighs.
Unfortunately, such moments of tranquility were doomed around these three individuals. Not long after Ryouga finished reading a clause of the contract, which, if he understood the gist of it, prohibited him from writing a screenplay, based on the events that occurred while he was in the GeoFront, he noticed the blue skinned Doctor leaning towards him.
"So, what are you in for?"
The Bandanna clad wanderer took a moment to look the so-called 'Dr. Drakken' over, before shrugging. The guy seemed harmless enough, definitely not a fighter that was for sure.
"Saving the Sheriff's life. How about you?" he replied with polite interest.
Dr. Drakken returned his shrug. "Saving the world."
That caught everyone's attention.
"Whoa," exclaimed Ranma, "You do that and they still treat you like this? That's pretty harsh."
The blue skinned prisoner smiled sheepishly. "Well, in their defense, I had spent most of my time before that trying to conquer the world."
"Ahhhhh." The three curious companions sounded in surround sound.
"So, who did you save the world from?" Ryouga asked, interested despite himself.
"Forget that!" Ryoko butted in excitedly. "What was your best 'take over the world' scheme?"
Looking positively delighted at being in the spotlight for the moment, Dr. Drakken stood up and began pacing excitedly around the cell, his hands tightly clasped behind his back.
"I'm so glad you asked! I'm certain that you have all heard of my greatest exploit. Perhaps you remember . . . the Diablo Incident?"
Ryouga's eyes widened in shock. "That was you?"
The evil scientist nodded, smiling widely now. He looked ready to continue, when Ryoko interrupted again, looking positively giddy.
"A planetary scale invasion of giant robots, tactically positioned in every major population center via a fast food franchise selling said death machines as kiddy toys!" Ryoko's eyes glistened with rapturous glee. "Now that was classic! I got to tangle with a few of your bruisers myself, it was great!"
Ranma, on the other hand, wore a rather dark scowl. "Yeah, I remember that. I was at a Bueno Nacho when it all went down."
The thought of his rival being swarmed by giant robots at a fast food joint instantly had Ryouga . . . and even Ryoko, exploding with laughter. After a moment of soul warming laughter at his rival's expense, the pair of them calmed down and Ryoko gingerly wiped a tear from her eye.
"Wow, the Diablo man. I almost feel bad that you lost that one," offered the cyan haired Deputy, sounding disturbingly earnest.
At this point, Dr. Drakken was positively beaming from Ryoko's praise. "Why thank you, young Miss. It's always a pleasure to run into someone that can truly appreciate the hard work and dedication that goes into taking over the world."
It was right about then that, for some reason, an odd thought struck Ryouga.
"Wait a minute," he began slowly. He then pointed to Drakken. "You're smart enough to almost take over the world, and you're American, right?"
Dr. Drakken nodded, looking a little uncertain at this latest line of questioning.
"Well . . . if you're that good," Ryouga continued, "Then why are you here? Shouldn't you be at the American Branch of Global Dynamics?"
The blue skinned scientist raised a finger, about to respond . . . but then paused. A look of confusion spreading across his face, Drakken stared back at him uncertainly. ". . . I . . . don't know. Now that you mention it, that would have been much less troublesome."
The sound of a female nearly choking on an aborted laugh, followed very closely by the sound of a male clearing his throat uncomfortably rang out from the far side of the steel bars. Both Ryouga and Drakken turned their attention to the pair of miscreants, ironically, sitting outside the cell.
For some reason, Ryoko looked about ready to burst from trying to hold in her laughter. Ranma, on the other hand, looked to be incredibly embarrassed.
"Ummm . . ." mumbled the pigtailed researcher, scratching his cheek sheepishly.
Luckily for the hemming and hawing martial artist, he was saved by the bell – Literally, as the door to the outside world swung open, ringing the door chime once again. Through the door strode Miss Possible, wide smile on her face and a dark brown cardboard cup in each hand.
"Wow, that place is amazing. And that Mao guy was unbelievable. He was like some kind of Cooking Master . . . boy . . . or something."
Deflating a bit, Kim then strolled over to the cell and handed Dr. Drakken one of the cups through the bars. Immediately, the scientist took a long draw from the cup.
"Mmmm! That's good Cocoa Moo."
Everyone stared at the chocolate-mustache wearing villain for a moment, before Ryouga quickly shook his head and turned back to the fiery redhead.
"Excuse me, Miss Possible, but do you know why Drakken is here instead of at the American Branch?"
The attractive redhead tapped her chin several times, apparently searching for an answer herself. "You know, no one really told me why that was. Maybe there's a project going on here that they could use his expertise on?"
'Ah, well that made sense.' Ryouga nodded at the logical hypothesis . . . at least until Ryoko finally lost her running battle to contain her mirth. Within moments, the cyan haired Deputy was nearly falling out of her chair, wracked with mocking laughter.
"Ha! Heh . . . heh . . . oh, oh man. Sorry, Princess, but you're way off. There's a much simpler reason why Blue Boy is here instead of across the pond."
"Ryoko . . ." groaned Ranma in an uncharacteristically helpless manner.
She immediately waved off the researcher, still shaking with suppressed giddiness. "N-no – this is too good! You see, the American and Japanese branches aren't separate based on East and West. The American Branch is the Science; the Japanese Branch is the Mad Science Branch! I mean, why the heck did ya think they stuck all these Fruit Loops in a GeoFront covered with twenty some odd layers of armor plate and brought the strongest fighter on the planet to watch over them?"
"Biggest showman, you mean," grumbled Ranma under his breath.
Well, that was a lot of exposition to take in, but Ryouga quickly pulled all of the relevant information from Ryoko's speech that he needed and acted on it instantly. A second later, the fanged fighter spun to point at Ranma, laughing insanely the entire time.
"O-oh man! You're a mad scientist?"
"My research is perfectly legitimate!"
H-he couldn't take any more, Ryouga collapsed to the floor laughing so hard that even his Bakusai Tenketsu toughened sides felt like they might split.
"This is unacceptable!" Drakken's outburst was almost loud enough to bring Ryouga back down to earth. As it was, the hapless martial artist watched the older man began to rant over the helpless chuckling of his cellmate.
"I am Dr. Drakken!" exclaimed the scientist, as if they weren't all quite aware by that point. "One of the greatest geniuses in the world! I will not be relegated to the joke branch of the world's most vaunted Research Entity. I demand to speak to the Head of Research! Who would have the audacity to insult me in such a manner?"
"It's the greatest scientific mind in the universe!"
Everyone stopped instantly, looking around warily for the disembodied voice which had just flooded the Sheriff's Office . . . well, everyone but Ryoko, at any rate. Ryouga noticed the cyan haired demoness groan loudly before dropping her face into her hands for some reason.
A moment later, before any of the trained warriors could determine the source of the voice, something strange happened . . . even by Nerimian standards.
Ryouga noticed it a second before it occurred (to his annoyance, he also noticed his rival noticing it a second before he noticed it). It began as what felt like a small ripple in the air at the center of the room, quickly followed by an electric tingle that ran up the bandanna clad warrior's spine. And then, in a most disturbing manner, a tiny black . . . hole tore open the very air itself . . . almost like one of those space/time disruption things he'd seen on Star Trek. The hole quickly spiraled out into a vertical black disc that hung silently in the air.
'I swear, if this is another hole to the Demon World . . .' The implications of a swirling black hole of nothingness hanging in the air were never good. Ryouga could only imagine what horrendous, misshapen, monstrous . . .
Twelve-year-old girl would emerge?
The Lost One quickly rubbed his eyes and checked again. . . . Yes, it was just as he'd thought. Instead of a slavering beast, a young girl had hopped out of the hole. The young girl had a wild mane of bright pink hair; it actually reminded him of Ryoko's for some reason, though it was by far longer and brighter than the Deputy's.
The pink haired girl quickly spun around, banishing the portal with a wave of her hand, then flashed them all a 'V' sign with her fingers.
"The stunning, brilliant, and stunningly brilliant Washu!"
As one, everyone in the room was set to stunned . . . except for Ryoko, who was still groaning in disgust. Maybe the Deputy was sick?
Another strange thought struck Ryouga at that very moment.
"Hey! Wait a second! How did you know what we were talking about? Were you monitoring our entire conversation via hidden cameras, just plotting the perfect time to step in?"
The self proclaimed 'Washu', held up a lecturing finger, a 'I know everything you don't know' look pasted on her face, when-
"No," spat, Ryoko acidly, "She just says that every time she comes into a room."
Ryoko then turned her glare back to the pink haired genius. "What are you doing here, Mom?"
Ryouga blinked at the rather abrupt, not to mention unlikely, familial revelation, but didn't really have time to react in any meaningful way.
"What? A mother can't just drop in to visit her loving daughter from time to time?" replied the youngster in an overly saccharine manner.
The Deputy immediately dug into her desk, pulling out a large sheaf of papers which she waved around like a weapon.
"Not according to my restraining order! Besides, I haven't even called anyone yet, so why are you here?"
Washu dismissed her (supposed) daughter's ire with a casual wave of her hand. "Oh, shush, Ryoko. I just wanted to ask the Sheriff for a little favor."
"Does it look like he's here right now?" replied Ryoko, irately waving around the room to demonstrate the notable lack of six-foot tall body builders. "That lazy slob took the day off just cuz he was injured."
The pint sized genius considered this for a moment, before shrugging. "Oh, well maybe you can-"
"Nope."
"But you haven't even heard-"
"Fraid not, Mom. Gotta watch the prisoner till he finishes filling out his contract. Very important work, that, can't just walk away, ya know what I mean?" As if to prove her blatantly false claim even more fraudulent, Ryoko then proceeded to kick her feet back up on her desk and leaned back as far as her chair would allow. The smug smile that was plastered across the Deputy's face was so cocky, that Ryouga was sure that if he'd ever looked at his own mom like that, she would have slapped the face right off his skull.
Quite frankly, Ryouga was too lost to even breathe, let alone step into the middle of the family feud unfolding before him, but apparently the redheaded Recruiter was made from sterner stuff than he.
"Ummm . . . Miss Washu?" Kim asked hesitantly.
Immediately, Washu turned on Kim, and Ryouga was sure he saw the young woman flinch just a fraction of an inch under the tiny girl's intense gaze. And then, as quick as it appeared, the intense look on Washu's face was replaced by a playful expression that looked far more at home on the twelve-year-old girl.
"Please, call me Lil' Washu!"
Kim looked to Ranma, then Ryoko, then back to Washu.
"Ooookay . . . Lil' Washu. My name is Kim Possible and I've brought you a new transfer-"
"Ooooh! Let me see my new lab monkey!" The little genius cut off the redhead before skipping excitedly towards the cell that Ryouga and Drakken occupied.
Ryouga squirmed a little as her appraising gaze passed over him before sliding over to Drakken. Washu seemed to consider the both of them for several moments longer than was comfortable, until she finally settled on the blue skinned scientist on the far cot.
"Mad scientist, huh? Well, I guess you'll fit in with the restof us."
"Hey!" barked Drakken.
"Hey!" barked Ranma.
'Oooh, stereo,' Ryouga thought to himself vindictively. He did so love seeing his rival get annoyed.
"This is an outrage!" bellowed the not-so good Doctor. "I'll have you know that I am Dr. Drakken! I've saved the very Earth itself!"
Rather than look impressed, as Ryouga and Ranma had mere moments earlier, the pink haired genius unleashed a dramatic yawn. "Yeah, from the Lorwardians, heh heh heh."
For the first time since Washu's arrival, Ryoko perked up, an amused grin on her lips.
"What? Those Saiyan wannabe's? Sheesh, Doc, I'd stick with your conquering the world story, it isn't nearly as embarrassing."
"Hey!" Kim snapped, "My fiancé and I helped to stop the Lorwardians too!"
Of course, this only caused Ryoko to laugh derisively. "Yeah, that figures."
Ryouga was beginning to wonder if maybe a fight would break out yet. Maybe if he was lucky, when Kim and Ryoko started trying to kill each other, he could break out of the cell and start trying to kill Ranma too.
The redheaded recruiter's eyes narrowed as she glared at Ryoko's smirking face. "You know, you really remind me of someone I know."
"Ahh, isn't that sweet?"
"It wasn't a compliment."
The fanged fighter felt his own fists tense up in time with the tightening of the redhead's clenching fingers. He could feel the electric tension of violence barely restrained in the air, and he wanted in on it badly-
"Alright, children, that's enough of that." Ryouga nearly pouted as Washu dispelled the seductive pull of violence from the air with a few condescending words. "Well, I might as well take the two of you back to the facility with me, since I can't get my daughter to do anything."
Ryoko flashed a wide, insincere smile for her mother's sake.
Washu then waved her hand, using some kind of sorcery to summon what looked to be a . . . a see-through keyboard right to her fingertips. Even the brilliant Dr. Drakken's eyes went wide as he watched her begin typing away at the illusory interface, summoning another of the swirling black portals into existence.
"A holographic interface . . ." He heard the blue skinned scientist to his side mumble quietly in awe. "I've never seen anything like it . . ."
A few more taps of the keyboard, and another portal appeared within the cell for Drakken to use. Standing quickly -Ryouga would almost say eagerly- the blue skinned villain moved forward to examine the portal, inadvertently stepping through in his excited haste. Outside the cell, Washu began to herd Kim through the other portal.
"Oh, yeah, and Ryoko, make sure you have the Sheriff call me the moment he gets in. It might be nothing, but then it might turn out to be very important."
As Ryouga had come to expect, Ryoko displayed a definite expression of 'Not Caring'. "Yeah, yeah, sure thing, Mom. I'll get right on i-"
Her sarcastic rebuttal was cut off rudely by the ringing of the phone on her desk.
For a long moment, Ryoko simply stared at the sleek, black communication device that sat upon her desk, as if it was the first time she had ever seen the thing. The phone rang a second time, then a third time as the Deputy continued to gaze vacantly at it. As politely as possible, Ryouga cleared his throat in a rather obvious manner.
A second later, Ryoko snapped out of her trance and looked up to see every single person in the room staring at her intently. "What?" she demanded.
The phone rung again.
"Aren't you going to answer that?" Ranma asked the question on all of their minds.
Ryoko actually managed to construct an offended expression on her lovely face. "What? You think I'd just let it ring off the hook?"
The phone rang a fifth time.
Everyone continued to stare at the Deputy, even more intently if it were at all possible.
"Fine! Fine, I'm answering the damn phone, see?" With an annoyed grunt, the demoness lifted the receiver from the base and held it up for her audience to behold.
Washu and Miss Possible shared a victorious smile betwixt them, before finally entering the portal and vanishing to . . . wherever it led. Ryouga certainly hoped it led to the facility and not to any questionable waypoints. Who knew if he might be forced to use those damned portals some time in the near future?
Ryoko continued to glare at the space where the portal had existed for several long seconds before finally putting the shiny black receiver up to her ear.
"You've reached the Sheriff's Office. If this isn't an emergency, then trust me, it will be an emergency."
". . ."
"Yes, this is Ryoko."
". . ."
"No, the Sheriff isn't in today."
Ryoko smiled wickedly, obviously enjoying herself more than she really should in her position as a protector of the innocent. Well, at least one of Ryouga's major questions had just been answered. He had been wondering just how the heck someone like Ryoko could become a law enforcement agent . . . of any kind. Now he knew.
The wanderer shook his head sadly. To see such a blatant case of nepotism in this day and age -
Ryouga's line of thought was quickly derailed as the wicked smirk vanished from his captor's lips.
"Wait a minute, you saw what?"
". . ."
"And it's where?"
". . ."
"And it's eating what?"
At that (and just when Ryouga was about to fall off the edge of his cot from anticipation), the shocked expression on Ryoko's face vanished, replaced by a look of intense boredom.
"Yep, sounds pretty bad. Well, I'll send someone over as soon as I can. Thanks for your call, we do so appreciate it."
And then she carelessly dropped the receiver back onto its base and proceeded to fold her hands behind her head once more, whistling a catchy tune.
Ryouga and Ranma could only stare at the Deputy in what could be called abject horror.
"Ummm . . . that sounded . . . kinda bad," Ranma stated tentatively.
"Shouldn't you go check it out?" Ryouga added a little more fervently.
Ryoko shrugged helplessly. "Meh, what can ya do? Giant rodents are hardly the worst thing we've dealt with around here. I'm sure it'll hold till Hercule gets back. I mean, I've got you to watch, after all."
"Take me with you! For crying out loud! If it's a giant rodent, it could be the same things that Mr. Satan and me fought. Who knows what kind of damage they could cause by tomorrow?"
Ranma nodded enthusiastically. "He's right. It's a martial artist's duty to protect the weak, y'know? Besides, he's already signing the contract, so it ain't like he's gonna run off or nuthin."
The fair Deputy let out a tormented groan. "Ohhhh, do I have to? My coffee is gonna get cold."
"Yes you do!" bellowed an irate Hibiki.
Ranma quickly flipped over the Sheriff's desk and snatched up the glittering jeep keys from Ryoko's desk. "I'll drive. Let's go!"
The pigtailed researcher then instantly matched deed to word and burst out through the front door of the office.
Ryoko simply leaned back into her chair and held up three fingers, only to begin dropping them one at a time. "And three . . . two . . . one-"
Ranma burst back into the Sheriff's office, door chime ringing madly.
"Umm, where exactly are we going again?"
Ryouga shot an incredulous look in Ryoko's direction.
"And he's supposed to be the genius?"
OOOoooOOO
With the wild squeal of rubber on asphalt, the Deputy's jeep ground to a jarring, shuddering halt, leaving a pair of black skid marks stretching nearly thirty feet long as evidence of their passage. As soon as the vehicle came to a complete stop, and finally ceased swaying violently, a rather disparate pair evacuated in most disparate manners. Ryoko phased straight through the roof of the Jeep and flew up to a safe distance of twenty feet. Ryouga, on the other hand, swung open the passenger door and launched himself into a frantic, diving roll, taking him a good dozen yards away from the now silent machine.
A moment later, the driver side door open and a third figure casually, one might almost say 'sedately', exited the vehicle and closed the door behind him. Ranma absently glanced at the two people glaring heated death in his direction.
"What?"
"Where the heck did you learn to drive?" Ryouga bellowed furiously. The bandanna wearing male's knees still didn't feel up to supporting his weight yet after the ride he'd just taken.
Ranma scratched his head in confusion. "Learn?"
The Lost One was about a half a second away from leaping straight for his rival's trachea, when Ryoko floated down between them, still glowering at Ranma herself.
"Sheesh! I'm a merciless space pirate and even I wouldn't drive like that through a populated area! I mean, you nearly flattened Dr. Venture . . . Well, okay, so that I didn't mind, but still."
Okay . . . Ryouga mentally slugged himself for thinking he would get moral support from Ryoko. He'd have to ask her about that Space Pirate comment some time later as well. Well, it wasn't important at the moment, not nearly as important as giving Saotome piece of his mind.
He prepared to do so – except his wrath was once again interrupted.
"Deputy! Over here!"
Said Deputy, as well as Ryouga and Ranma, turned their attention to the person calling Ryoko. The person yelling was currently moving in their direction at a brisk jog, and judging by the sweat suit he was wearing, it was quite likely that that had been exactly what he'd been doing before he had called the Sheriff's Office. Likely jogging in the large, verdant park which the Wanderer had just noticed they parked just outside of.
Damn Ranma, distracting him with suicidal driving stunts so that he didn't even notice the giant park they were going to investigate!
As their informant approached, it was easy to make out that he was an older looking gentleman, with graying hair and a mustache to match. The enormous Aviator glasses were a bit retro, but hardly the worst fashion offense the man was making.
"Deputy, thank goodness you're here."
Ryoko gave a non-committal shrug. "Meh, what seems to be the problem, Dr. Stingray?"
"It's a disaster! Come, follow me, I'll show you!"
With that, the good Doctor quickly turned and began jogging back into the park. Ryouga looked to Ranma, who simply shrugged before moving at a swift, if casual walk to catch up to the jogger. Ryouga then looked to Ryoko, who mimicked Ranma's shrug before floating after the pair.
Ryouga watched the trio disappear into the park before finally shrugging himself and following. Within moments, he caught up to the moderately paced group.
"I was just passing through the park, on the way from the lab to visit my daughter," huffed the older scientist, "I had decided to get some ice cream for the two of us as I saw the ice cream truck coming my way."
"Wait, this place has an ice cream truck?" Ryouga asked incredulously.
His hated rival grinned evilly. "The second love of my life, buddy."
The wanderer groaned in disgust. "Have you no shame?"
"Excuse me. I am trying to explain the situation." Dr. Stingray glared at the pair of them, eliciting an amused giggle from Ryoko.
"As I was saying: I was just approaching the truck, when suddenly a blur collided with the side of the vehicle, striking with enough force to tear straight through the side before toppling it over completely. I managed to help the driver get out, then called you."
Ryoko scratched her head, looking not at all concerned. "And yer sure it was a giant rat?"
The doctor nodded somberly. "I got a good look at it when I helped the driver escape the vehicle."
"So, your major emergency is a mutant rat with a sweet tooth?" The cyan haired demoness turned a fiery glare back on Ryouga and Ranma. "And this couldn't have waited till tomorrow why?"
A growl rattled the fanged warrior's throat as he glared at the heartless pirate.
"Stop it, Ryoko."
He then turned to the doctor. "So, there's only one? If this is what I think, then there was a pack of them the last time I ran into them."
Dr. Stingray shook his head indicating the negative. "It was just the one that I saw."
Abruptly, the doctor pointed to the distant shape of the toppled ice cream truck. "There it is!"
As cautiously as possible for the trio (which was not at all), they approached the downed mobile confectionary. It was relatively easy to determine that there quarry was still present, judging by the violent shaking of the vehicle's frame and the plethora of wrappers flying from the opening in the side of the truck. The sounds of various foodstuffs being devoured at high speed filled the air.
As one, the three males turned to Ryoko to take the lead, what with her being the only authority figure present at the moment.
Ryoko was only too happy to comply.
"One extermination coming right up!" With that, she lifted her right had. Then, in a surreal manner, several dozen small spheres of brilliant orange energy began to appear in the air around her, only to zip quickly in to the palm of her head, condensing into a crackling orb of power the size of a soft ball.
"What are you-"
"Hey! Wait a sec-"
Heedless of their outbursts, Ryoko swung her arm forward and the seemingly innocuous ball of energy surged forth into a searing lance of light powerful enough to distort the air before her in several large concentric rings as the attack tore through it. Instantly, the beam detonated the entire truck into a brilliant ball of thirty-two flavors of destruction
"Ryoko!" Ryouga barked.
"Why did you do that?" asked an irate Saotome.
The Deputy merely shrugged. "What? You heard the guy. It was big enough to tackle a truck. Do either of you two have a mouse trap that big on you?"
Breathing an annoyed sigh, Dr. Stingray slowly rubbed his temples. "Deputy, with all due respect, you have no idea what you have just destroyed! That might have been the culmination of millions of yen and years of re . . . search . . ."
Ryouga and his cohorts stared at the man as he trailed off uncertainly. An eerie premonition struck the Hibiki male and he slowly followed the scientist's line of sight back to the smoking wreckage of the ice cream truck.
The smoke had thinned considerably, even in the small time they had been speaking. Obviously Ryoko's blast hadn't merely destroyed the truck, it had burned off all of the combustibles instantly as well. The seasoned martial artist shuddered silently at that idea. He'd only seen one person produce attacks with that kind of heat, and that person had possessed a tendency of shearing the peaks off of mountains.
It was almost as an afterthought that he noticed the massive bulk of the rodent rise up from the twisted remains to stand on its hind legs. The milk white mouse towered well over six feet, even hunched over as it was and its claws and fangs had grown to match. Even more disturbingly, though, were its eyes; gone were the beady red orbs he remembered, instead a pair of glistening multifaceted spheres gazed emptily at them, like the eyes of an insect . . . or a pair of priceless gems.
Ryouga gawked openly. "Ummm . . . guys. That is very much larger than the ones I saw before."
Apparently offended by the loss of its meal, the now very oversized rat turned in their direction and released a resounding squeak that could have almost passed for a roar had it been about three octaves lower.
Thinking quickly, Ranma pushed Dr. Stingray behind them. "Get outta here, Doc. We'll handle this!"
As one, the three warriors dropped into their favored combat stances. Ryouga looked to his companion's, smirking vindictively at the thought of finally getting a chance to vent some of his pent up frustration. "Alright, you guys ready?"
Ryoko nodded, cackling evilly.
"Hell yeah!" cheered his rival.
Then, as one, they gathered their power.
Ryouga's aura burst to life, a massive bonfire of emerald and azure energy that swirled up and out for several yards in every direction. It took him several moments to gain control of his own wild chi and bring it back to a seething flame that burned around him.
Again, dozens of spheres of orange energy formed around Ryoko, only to fly unerringly to her palm. This time, she squeezed the sphere of power that formed, and it instantly altered to her whim, forming a blazing sword of pure energy. Arcs of yellow and blue lighting flashed up the sword's length, and indeed, across her entire body as she focused all of her power into the lethal blade.
Ranma was engulfed in a golden aura of power, except his didn't surge wildly as Ryouga's had. Instead, the golden chi of his rival's confidence only flooded out for several feet before the pigtailed researcher pulled back in an amazing display of control, forming it into a literal second skin of condensed life energy. The wanderer's eyes actually widened at the show of skill and focus.
As one, the trio of warriors, excessive overkill in Ryouga's mind, tensed to leap forward, their gathered power twisting the winds around them and flattening the grass in all directions, when-
Without warning, Ranma suddenly stood back up, his aura vanishing in a flash of golden sparks. The pigtailed researcher immediately reached up, running a hand through his hair in a sheepish manner.
"Ah, yeah – 'Bout that . . . you two are on your own."
"What?"
"Heh, sorry bout that. Guess I got caught up in the moment. Y'see, researchers ain't allowed to interfere in these kinds of situations, so I gotta sit on the sidelines this time."
Ryouga wasn't sure what was going to burst first, his temper, or that tiny vein in his brain; at this point, he was sure he was about to go apoplectic in both meanings of the term.
Seconds away from the eruption of Mt. St. Ryouga, a hand on his shoulder distracted him from the object of his abject rage. He looked over to see Ryoko smiling seductively.
"C'mon, stud. Like we need Lady Fingers back there to deal with a freaking rat."
"Hey!"
Ryouga cracked his knuckles, nodding eagerly. He was more than prepared to transfer his Ranma induced rage to a more appropriate (though infinitely less satisfying) target. As an afterthought, he glanced at the glowing energy sword held loosely in her other hand.
"Say, you wouldn't happen to know a guy named Kuwabara, would you?"
Surprisingly, the Deputy's eyes widened for a second at the mention of the name. It was quickly followed by a strange little smile settling on her lips.
"Do I ever. We met a while ago at an Advanced Energy Sword seminar." The space pirate made a disturbingly sensual purring sound that nearly sent Ranma running in the other direction. "That guy really knew how to handle a blade."
Ryouga instantly clamped his fingers to his nose as it threatened to explode messily all over him. Ranma, on the other hand, leaned forward in shock.
"B-b-but, what about Tenchi?"
Ryoko shrugged innocently. "Hey, what happens in Shinjuku stays in Shinjuku . . . and I have to say, that Kuwabara guy really had a thing for girls with blue hair."
The fanged boy and the pigtailed boy stared at each other, aghast, for a moment . . . before as one, they let out a pair of resigned sighs. Slowly, they both nodded their heads, understanding Kuwabara's infatuation all to well themselves.
It was about this time that Dr. Stingray decided to remind them all that he was still present for some moronic reason.
"Ahh, I know it's not really my place to tell you how to do your jobs – but it's charging towards us!"
Ryouga, Ryoko and Ranma all rolled their eyes.
"Sheesh, excitable much?" Ryoko muttered sarcastically.
Ranma just slowly shook his head before dropping a companionable arm around the doctor's shoulder and ushering him away. "So, anyway, Doc, when ya gonna let me test out that new hard sui-"
With casual ease, Ryouga summoned his aura once more and spun to meet the charging rodent head on. The oversized lab rat had only covered a meager twenty feet while they had been distracted, leaving a good fifty feet for him to cover himself. He crouched down and prepared to launch himself forward-
Ryoko zipped ahead of him, not hindered by the same damnable laws of physics that shackled him. Sword trailing behind her, leaving a narrow furrow of scorched earth in her wake, the cyan haired demoness flew forward, heading straight on a collision course with their unorthodox foe. At the last second, the Deputy barrel rolled to the side, swinging her sword up with a ridiculous amount of force, considering it was a construct of pure light, aiming to take the rodent's head off clean at the shoulders.
Ryouga winced slightly, expecting to see a severed head come flying in his direction at high speed . . . except, just as Ryoko's blade reached the fur of the rodent's neck, mere millimeters from searing flesh, the entire weapon shattered like glass and flowed into the creature's body.
He could only watch, slack jawed and wide eyed as orange energy crackled across the monster mouse's body like bottled lightning. He nearly rubbed his eyes as well, as he could swear that he saw the creature's entire body swell slightly, growing even more monstrous.
Completely unprepared for the utter failure of her attack, Ryoko hesitated at a rather inopportune time. The eight foot long rat creature didn't even slow down in its charge, and the unfortunate Deputy ricocheted off its muscled flank with all of the effect of a fly on a windshield as it blew past her. Ryouga winced again as his erstwhile companion crashed to the ground several yards away from where Ranma and the good doctor were watching.
Fists tightened into lethal weapons as the fanged warrior set himself to receive the charge. If the rat noticed his stance, it didn't show it as it continued its heedless stampede of one.
It sure as hell noticed when he swung out with a haymaker to end all haymakers, though. His blow landed home with enough force to kill his opponent's charge dead and crack its narrow head sharply to the side. What looked like a tooth went tumbling through the air as well-
The massive rat's head swung back in his direction barely a second later, scarcely looking any worse for wear. It then reared back and unleashed another howling squeak right into his face, showering him liberally with mouse drool.
The blooming smirk on Ryouga's face died quite quickly.
"Ah hell."
OOOoooOOO
Ranma winced mightily as an obscenely loud crunch echoed through the park. It was soon followed by the harried sounds of frantic manversus rodent combat the likes of which he hadn't heard since last year's Christmas party.
Off to his side, he noticed Ryoko floating to join him and the doctor, absently brushing some dust from her flattering uniform.
"Rude little jerk, not dying like that," muttered the Deputy crossly.
The both of them winced again as another particularly loud crunch filled the air. It was quickly followed by a white blur flying through the air to their side, a yellow and green blur following hot on its heels.
"Man, it just figures that Hercule would take today off," Ryoko continued her rant, "It's like the guy has some kind of sixth sense for avoiding danger."
Ranma shrugged. "World's strongest fighter or not-" Another bone crushing impact rang out, this one heralding the passage of Ryouga's rag dolling form flying back they way it had come. "-I'm sure the two of you can handle this. Me and Ryouga are kinda old hands at this kinda thing, after all."
Lifting her arm to look at the exotic gem embedded in her wrist, Ryoko grumbled darkly under her breath. "If mom'd just let me use more than one gem, this fight would already be ov- Umm, your buddy is glowing again."
"Huh?" Ranma quickly spun to see what she meant. Just as quickly, he slapped a hand to his forehead. Idiot! Doesn't that moron pay attention to anything? he thought incredulously.
Frantically, he shouted for all he was worth.
"Ryouga, don't!"
"Shi Shi Houkodan!"
Ah hell.
OOOoooOOO
Ryouga twisted his body frantically in mid-flight, miraculously bringing his feet back under him just as he finally hit the ground. Grass and soil split around his slippers digging two deep furrows nearly six feet long before he finally slid to a shaky stop. Gingerly, he lowered his crossed forearms and shook out the stiff limbs.
I actually felt that, he mused to himself, This could get serious.
That in mind, he lowered himself into an intimately familiar stance, feet spread apart and knees bent to brace himself. He then proceeded to cross his arms before him, pulling them tightly to his chest.
"Fine," he muttered darkly, already thinking unpleasant thoughts, "Try this one on for size."
He could feel his depression fueled chi spiral in around him, circling ever deeper into the darkness of his heart, gathering power from every painful memory he could dredge up . . .
Ryouga Hibiki had no shortage of those-
"Ryouga, don't!"
Wha-
"Shi Shi Houkodan!"
Even before he had abandoned Nerima, Ryouga had always clutched an abundant number of tragic events close to his heart for use in forging his most powerful weapon, the Shi Shi Houkodan, into an ever more devastating attack. The past three years hadn't exactly been a picnic either. Three years of constant battle, fighting horrendous monsters that still haunted his darkest nightmares. Three years of loneliness, rejected by Akane and abandoned by his closest friend/most hated rival. A year and a half of living with the cold fact that he, personally, had ruined any chance of happiness that he might have once had with Akari . . .
Needless to say, Ryouga's Shi Shi Houkodan was just a wee bit stronger than the last time he'd used it before his pigtailed rival.
This Lion Roared loud.
The sphere of chi in his hands exploded out into a horizontal column of emerald flame nearly six feet in diameter, shredding the carefully landscaped park vindictively as it tore hungrily through the air towards its prey. The lance of devastation slammed into the giant mouse and washed over it, continuing on to destroy even more of the verdant scenery behind the target for a good twenty yards. Ryouga couldn't even hear the dying squeal of his victim over the blood pumping in his ears and the unearthly howling of his own hellish attack-
Which cut short quite abruptly as he was smacked sharply upside the head.
Entire arms still smoking, Ryouga turned fiercely and scowled at his pigtailed tormentor.
"What?"
Ranma stared back, a disgusted look on his face.
"You moron! That thing survived an exploding truck and sucked up Ryoko's energy sword like it was Kasumi's sukiyaki! Why would you throw a chi blast at it?"
With an irritated swat, Ryouga brushed his rival's hand away and shrugged indifferently. "So? What's the worst that could happen?"
With a little more force than was strictly necessary, Ranma grabbed the Lost One's head and twisted it painfully to the side so they were both staring at the dissipating cloud of smoke and dust that his attack had created . . .
Or, more specifically, at the massive, ten foot tall rodent that now towered over them. Somehow, the creature had mutated even further, its claws now looking more like scythes, its teeth like daggers and its fur like a mat of iron needles. More disturbingly, though, several jagged outcroppings of what looked like crystal had erupted from its back, the unnatural constructs were literally shimmering with a painfully familiar emerald energy.
Ranma turned to glare at him, their noses less than an inch apart. "Do I even have to say 'I told you so'?"
Annoyed with his rival actually being correct, but refusing (on pain of death) to give him the satisfaction of admitting it, Ryouga shoved the pigtailed researcher back several steps.
"If you can't do something useful, then get the hell out of the way, Saotome!" he barked more than a little bitterly. He then turned to the shapely Deputy behind them. "Come on, Ryoko. Looks like we have to do this the old fashioned way."
The cyan haired demoness cracked her knuckles, a malevolent smile spreading across her lips. "Suits me just fine."
This time, the two of them flowed forwards as one. The martial artist ran forward, feet barely touching the grass in his haste, the pirate skimmed forward, matching his pace perfectly. Several yards before they reached their target, Ryouga smirked as Ryoko sank into the ground still moving full speed, and vanished from sight.
Taking the hint, he launched himself into the air and into a powerful flying kick. What the giant overtly mutant rat had gained in sheer bulk and creepiness, it had lost in speed. His attack landed home, dead center of the creature's exposed underbelly with all of the force and momentum he could muster. Even as the rodent began to fold around his foot, he quickly pushed off with all of his strength, sending himself soaring back through the air-
Just in time for Ryoko to erupt from the earth and deliver the Mother of all Uppercuts to the mutant's narrow jaw.
The power of the Deputy's super powered sucker punch lifted the mammoth mouse over five feet into the air. The creature was nearly flipped over in mid air, but didn't quite make it; instead it landed solidly on its head, the rest of its body slamming back to the earth with a calamitous crash a second later.
Of course, Ryouga didn't believe that would finish it for a second. He instantly leapt into the air, easily clearing thirty feet, his trajectory placing him directly in line to land on the rodent's hairy chest. Even as gravity began to reassert its insistent pull on him, he quickly pulled his legs up behind him, turning his jump into a thirty-foot diving knee drop. With a bone-shattering crunch, his double knee drop slammed into the rat's chest with enough force to crater the ground beneath it for several yards in each direction.
Not to be outdone, though, Ryoko flew towards the creature's wheezing form and grabbed its disgusting, hairless tail in both deceptively delicate hands. With a mighty heave, she swung the entire beast up and over her head, slamming it back to the ground on her other side and creating an even larger crater
Ryouga quickly hopped to his feet after having the rug so unexpectedly pulled out from under him, and dusted himself off a bit. He had a hard time being annoyed, though, as Ryoko turned to face him, a wild smirk on her face.
"Not bad for an Earther. You sur-"
The Deputy's words crested sharply into a howl of agony as the long tail held loosely in her hand suddenly flashed to life, arcing with a familiar orange lightning. The surge of power wracked Ryoko's, her back arching painfully and her limbs locked straight under the assault. She couldn't even release the tail, as her hand clenched around it involuntarily, at least until the electrically charged rodent contemptuously flicked its tail, sending her flying twenty feet to careen into the ground once more.
"Ryoko!" Ryouga yelled frantically.
He didn't have the time to check on his downed friend, as the crackling tail twirled back to lash out at him. Diving frantically to the side, he dodged the first strike by a narrow margin, an explosion of soil and smoke bursting up from where the tail struck the earth. He followed his dive with another roll, then a desperate leap to the side, finally putting some distance between him and the downed rat.
It quickly took advantage, rolling over onto its belly before scrabbling back up onto its hind legs. Not wanting to give it too much time to recover, Ryouga dove right back in. He lashed out with a right cross to its jaw, snapping its head to the side, followed up by a spinning backhand and finally twisting around into a spinning back kick, sending the beast skidding several feet backwards.
To his shock, his adversary recovered instantly, not even looking fazed in the slightest. In fact, it was his hands that were bloody now, covered in tiny scratches from its steel-like fur. Again, he wasn't granted the time to appreciate just how badly things were going, as the rat creature opened its jaws and unleashed another resounding howl-
Ryouga's pupils shrunk to pinpricks when a blinding emerald light built up at the back of the rodent's throat. He was so taken aback, and it all happened so fast, that when the painfully familiar blast of raw chi exploded from the creature's mouth, he didn't even have a prayer of dodging. The Rodent Roar Bullet hit him full force in the chest, sending his world into a madly spinning collage of color and agony.
He slammed into the ground, shoulder first, an unknown distance away, before rolling bouncing and finally skidding to a stop for several more painful yards. Even worse than the pain, and the humiliation of getting hit by essentially his own attack, was the fact that when he finally came to a grinding stop, he realized that Ranma was standing above him, smirking down at him.
"Not. A. Word." Demanded the still smoking Hibiki.
The fanged fighter flipped back to his feet, only to rush back into the fight, before his smart ass rival could make a smart ass comment regardless. As he did, Ryoko came flying in from the side, looking almost as singed as he likely did, and with a fierce scowl on her face. Thinking quickly, a smirk exposed one of his fangs and he held out a hand to her.
"How about a boost?" he asked cheerfully.
The demoness returned his smirk. She quickly clasped his hand in her own, clamping down with all the force of a vice. Instantly, Ryoko ground to an aerial halt, only to spin to the side, swinging him around her in several rapid revolutions before releasing him at their adversary at breakneck speeds.
Playing his part as human ballistic weapon perfectly, Ryouga careened into the rodent's gut, slipper clad feet leading the way. Their combined attack blasted into the rat with enough power to send it sliding back several yards, deep furrows tearing into the ground beneath its clawed feet. Even as the fanged projectile fell to the ground, Ryoko flew past him to lay into the rodent with a fierce, rapid series of punches, pushing the mutant further and further back, its feet digging deeper into the soil as it struggled vainly against the onslaught.
Nearly ten seconds and over a dozen super human strength strikes into her combo, though, Ryoko slowed her frenzied attack, coming to a gasping stop, one fist resting weakly against the mutant rat's hairy chest. The Deputy slowly looked up, taking in another lungful of air as she did, to stare at the face of the slavering monster glaring back down at her. Its jaws parted slowly to reveal rows of razor edged fangs and a deep, bass hiss rumbled from deep in its throat.
". . . Crap."
Ryoko quickly floated back and into the ground again, just as the rat's scythe-like claws tore through the air where her head had been only a fraction of a second ago. Several moments later, the cyan haired demoness floated up out of the ground beside Ryouga once more.
"Y'know what? The old fashioned way stinks."
Unfortunately, he had to agree. "I hate to say it, but you're right."
That thought in mind, and with a deep sigh of regret, Ryouga began to remove his belt.
"Hey now, Big Boy." A saucy smile suddenly appeared on Ryoko's face for some reason. "I'm all about going out with a bang, but this is hardly the time."
It took roughly three point four seconds for Ryouga to realize exactly what it was that she was insinuating, but only one point five for his face to blush beet red.
"It's not like that!"
To prove his point, he quickly snapped his belt out, a quick surge of chi forming the soft fabric into a lethal blade of cloth.
"If you have any more lethal attacks, now would be a good time to use them."
Ryoko rubbed her chin for a moment in consideration. "I could always summon a demon."
"How could that possibly help?"
"Well, considering it would almost instantly go out of control, probably not at all."
He glared at her smiling face, though to no real effect.
"Anything else?" he grumbled between clenched teeth.
If anything, his reactions only amused the space pirate further. Ryoko chuckled teasingly, only to run a hand through her long, cyan locks.
"Oh, I have a few tricks up my sleeve, still."
To prove her point, she pulled her hand out of her hair, only to reveal several six inch needles held loosely between her fingers. Ryouga boggled for a moment at the sudden appearance of the weapons, or at least how much she must spend on brushes. Hmm, maybe she knew Mousse too?
He quickly brushed the distracting line of thought from his mind.
Reasserting himself back into the seriousness of the moment, Ryouga nodded grimly to his erstwhile partner. As one the pair turned to face the deadly monster. Before they could even take a step to rejoin the battle, though, a hand on either of their shoulders brought them up short. The both of them turned to see Ranma standing between them.
"Whoa, hold up there, kids. You can't just go choppin that thing up, there."
Ryouga knocked his rival's hand away scornfully. "Stop interfering, Ranma. After these past three years I have a lot more experience dealing with monsters than you."
"Yeah," chimed in Ryoko, "Do you know how rarely I meet someone that isn't a pansy 'let's spare this monster, too' type of guy?"
Ranma rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Don't be stupid, you two. Just cuz somethin's monstrous, don't mean it's a monster. Didn't ya hear Dr. Stingray? This thing is probably someone's escaped experiment, so you need to take it alive."
The fanged warrior's eyes narrowed as he glared at his rival. "And I suppose you have some brilliant idea to accomplish this apparently simple task?"
To Ryouga's chagrin, Ranma was wearing that familiar smirk of his that just screamed 'I have an idea!'. Instantly, an overbearing sense of imminent disaster washed over the Hibiki with the force of a tsunami. Not that Ryouga didn't have faith in his rival's intelligence... well, actually, that was exactly it. The Saotome heir's track record with 'clever schemes' was hardly a thing of legend.
"As a matter of fact, I do."
Ryouga groaned loudly, his sense of imminent disaster shifting to a more personal sense of imminent bodily harm. His nerves were not at all soothed when Ranma turned and began to shoo off Ryoko.
"Yo, Deputy, you go keep that thing busy for a bit. I gotta teach Ryouga an Ultimate Technique in about three minutes."
Ultimate technique . . .? Ryouga mused to himself.
"Hey! Why don't I get to learn it?" Ryoko asked heatedly.
Ranma rolled his eyes, as if what he was about to say was the most obvious thing in the world. "Um, are you a ridiculously skilled martial arts master whom has fully actualized his psionic potential?"
Ryoko raised a finger into the air . . . only to lower it a moment later.
" . . . no," replied the demon, pouting in an adorably sad manner. The crestfallen deputy then sadly flew back to battle the beastly rodent by her lonesome.
To Ryouga's dread, Ranma then turned back his way, overly confident smile on his face.
"Alright, Ryouga. We don't got much time, so watch what I do and copy it exactly. For this technique, you gotta channel your psionic energy perfectly, or ya might end up messin yerself up pretty good."
Ryouga nodded seriously. "I'll try my best, but I'm certain that I won't be able to do it."
That brought his would be mentor up short. "What? Ya haven't even seen what I'm gonna do yet!"
Ryouga smirked vindictively. "Well, you see, I'm a real martial artist, so I use my chi. I don't think I can do this Psionics stuff that you're talking about."
He was rewarded with a slap upside the head, but it was totally worth it for the look on his rival's face. "Same difference! Now shut up, we don't got time for this."
Ryouga glowered. "What? You worried about that monster back there."
His rival shook his head. "Naw, Ryoko will be fine. I'm more worried about the rat creature."
Ryouga could only stare at his rival, at a complete loss for words.
"Okay, now seriously, shut up and watch."
Still not sure how to respond, Ryouga nodded quickly. As soon as he noticed the first changes in his rival's aura, though, the wanderer began to watch with voracious curiosity.
At first, his rival appeared to be building his chi up around him normally, if somewhat slowly. Ryouga noted absently that Ranma's chi had increased markedly since last he had seen the pigtailed fighter, though it still fell well short of a number individuals he had come to meet over the past three years-
Then it happened. Ryouga wasn't even sure what it was, but something seemed to snap . . . or burst, or something within his rival's body, and suddenly a surge of power flowed through Ranma's body that sent Ryouga stumbling back several steps in shock. His rival's aura burned like a golden flame around his body, flattening the grass around him, even as small particles of debris and sod began to float upwards in defiance of gravity.
"Whoa!" Ryouga stumbled back another step. "What the heck was that?"
Again, Ranma smirked. "Awesome, huh? Just released a . . . mental block, I guess ya can call it. That's just the first step, though. Next, ya gotta channel it down to your legs, cuz yer gonna need it to pull off what I got in mind."
All of Ryouga's worries about danger and humiliation were cast to the wind as he watched his rival with avid fascination. Certainly, he'd been aware that his rival had been in intense training these three past years, but to see Saotome do something so – so unbelievable, well, Ranma had his undivided attention now.
In a masterful display of skill, Ranma did just as he described, channeling the bulk of his enhanced power down into his legs, modulating it with almost surgical precision. Ryouga could almost see what Ranma was planning on doing with the power, the Anything Goes master was displaying his chi so clearly, and moving it about with such clear intent.
"There, now you've seen me do it. Now, let me explain exactly how you do it, and what you're gonna do with it."
Ryouga nodded, paying rapt attention.
OOOoooOOO
Ryoko sighed in abject boredom as she casually slid out of the mutant's reach once again. Since she wasn't allowed to kill it, now, all the fun of fighting it had evaporated with the morning dew. And since all she had to do was keep it busy, floating circles around the thing was depressingly easy.
Honestly, it was times like this that she regretted getting Ryo-Ohki that job salvaging the Super Dimensional Fortress that had nearly crashed into the earth a few years back. At least then they could have made a game out of it-
"Ryoko." Her reverie was interrupted by her erstwhile prisoner's voice.
She quickly zipped back away from the mutant mouse before she turned to regard her partner. Her eyebrow rose in mild interest at the violent, twisting aura of emerald energy that surrounded the Alpha-male. She had taken a reading of his power level earlier, and it had been pretty meager considering some of the things on said scale, but somehow, in the span of minutes, it had risen several fold. Now, the human male could almost be considered noteworthy . . . at least in this quadrant of the galaxy.
"You might want to step out of the way," he suggested in a very no-nonsense tone.
She shrugged easily and complied. Like she cared.
As soon as she was clear from his path, Ryouga took another step forward-
Then he vanished.
No, wait! He hadn't vanished, the boy had somehow increased his speed several fold as well, literally blurring across the space between him and the mutant in the blink of an eye. Her eyes actually widened at the unexpected display of speed. Weak or not, with that kind of speed, he could prove pretty entertaining-
The Space Pirate boggled again, as, instead of laying into the mutant with high speed attacks, the fanged fighter suddenly tore off to the side at the last second, seemingly entering into orbit around their adversary. Dirt and grass flew wildly in perfect circle as Ryouga continued to circle it at speeds that rendered him almost invisible.
"Wha . . ." she drawled in confusion.
"Heh, just a technique I've been developing for GD. Still working on a good name, though."
Ryoko was about to ask just what the heck that was supposed to mean, when Ranma suddenly put a finger to his lips. "Shh, watch and learn."
Her hackles rose for a second, but morbid curiosity as to the ongoing fight narrowly beat out her annoyance with the pigtailed researcher.
Before them, Ryouga continued his rapid revolution. If the two seasoned warriors were having trouble keeping track of him, then the rat thing was utterly doomed to confusion. It couldn't even gather its senses long enough to swipe blindly at the martial artist, let alone prepare itself for what was about to come-
In a flash of linear motion that would have caused a lethal case of whiplash in a normal human, Ryouga suddenly vanished from his circular course, almost appearing to teleport directly in front of the rodent. Before his form even stopped blurring, Ryouga's leg was already up in the air, lashing out in a massive upward kick that cracked the air with its sheer velocity. The mutant rat was helplessly blasted into the air by the attack, soaring against the shackles of gravity, almost seeming to float upwards into the air: ten feet, twenty feet-
Even as it continued to float upwards, Ryouga launched himself into the air after it. For some reason, Ryoko barely managed to catch the sight of a number of bandannas trailing from both of his wrists.
"Hey . . . wait a second . . ." she muttered quietly.
In another flash of motion, Ryouga reappeared behind the rodent in midair. The martial artist swung both his arms forward and his bandannas shot forward, wrapping around the mutant and pulling it into a tight bear hug. Apparently the fanged fighter was a fan of wrestling as well, as he used his mildly impressive strength to flip the ten foot bulk of the rodent backwards, preparing for a twenty foot Suplex. Just before gravity could reassert itself, impatient as she was, Ryouga inexplicably chose that moment to fire a small energy blast from his hand. The tiny sphere of emerald energy flew off into the distance, doing nothing more than starting the tightly bound duo rotating madly just as they began their descent.
Ryoko covered her eyes quickly to avoid the explosion of debris as the Ryouga and the rodent collided with the earth in a very convincing cosplay of an asteroid.
She then turned to Ranma, a look of pure disbelief on her face. "You are unbelievable."
Her companion shrugged, smiling like a small child. "What? Worked, didn't it?"
She could only stare at him as they waited for the cloud of debris to be carried away by the breeze. When it finally did, it revealed a massive crater, a giant rodent half buried in the earth at its heart. One of its oversized legs spasms sporadically. Just staggering his way out of the crater, looking more than a little dizzy, Ryouga endeavored to join them.
"Wow, Saotome. That move was something else. What did you call it again? It seems . . . a bit familiar. Is it a revision on another of your moves?"
Ranma shrugged absently, pulling out a small notepad from his pants pocket. He quickly flipped the booklet open, revealing a small pen stuck between the pages, which the pigtailed fighter pulled out to begin writing something.
"Just something I've been cobbling together . . . Say, how are you feelin' right now, buddy? Any weakness, or crippling pain?"
The hapless Hibiki looked at the researcher strangely for a moment. "Um . . . no, why would – Wait a second! Why would I be feeling crippling pain?"
Ranma quickly jotted something down in his notebook.
"Hmph, well, in the manga, even the Secondary Lotus is supposed to push the body beyond its limits . . ."
"What? The Secondary Lotus? You taught me a move from a comic book? You son of a-" Unfortunately, the rest of what promised to be an extremely entertaining series of death threats and insults suddenly dissolved into a series of agonized gurgling as the Lost Boy's body abruptly chose that moment to collapse to the ground.
"Ahhhh, there we go." Ranma quickly made several more illegible scribbles into his notebook. "Must have forgotten to take the Bakusai Tenketsu training into account. Hey, Ryo, can you quantify the kind of pain you're in?"
". . . –gurgle- . . . –gasp- . . . bastard . . ."
"Fascinating." More frantic writing.
Ryoko rolled her eyes in disgust. As much as a connoisseur of human suffering as she was, this was just getting ridiculous. Deciding to broach the subject with tact and subtlety, she swiftly smacked the pigtailed researcher upside the head.
"Excuse me, Count Rugen, but you might want to pay attention to the monster."
"Wha?" Ranma exclaimed. The two of them spun just in time to see the tail of the creature vanish into the gaping tunnel it had just dug.
"Damn it!" The researcher quickly threw the wanderer over his shoulder and the two (three, technically) of them rushed over to the hole. By the time they reached it, the tunnel already extended down into the earth beyond the range of their sight.
Ryoko whistled appreciatively. "Daaamn. That thing can dig."
Ranma nodded mutely. A second later, though, he quickly held Ryouga out to arms length and shook him a little. "Alright, Mole Man, time to shine!"
He then released the bandanna clad martial artist . . . who promptly collapsed to the ground in a boneless heap. Some minor groaning and inaudible swear words were the only signs that their companion was still alive.
Ryoko smacked Ranma upside the head again. "Idiot! Now he's too hurt to go after it! Who am I supposed to dump this job on now?"
The red shirted researcher waved off her (lack of) concern. "Don't worry. I'll just drag him down there with us and we can follow it."
"Down there?" she replied incredulously. "And what exactly do we do if we did catch up to it?"
Ranma rolled his eyes. "Sheesh, and you were the scourge of the galaxy?"
"Hey! I only have one of my gems! If I was at full power, this whole planet would be a smoking ruin . . . well, except for Tenchi."
"Yeah, he'd just love that, wouldn't he?"
"Shut u-"
Their argument was cut tragically short when the ground beneath their feet began to quake violently. Ryouga's comatose form flopped about like a fish out of water, and even the nimble Ranma was forced to work to maintain his balance. She, on the other hand, simply floated about a foot into the air.
Then, of course, the both of them could only watch helplessly as the tunnel collapsed in on itself before their eyes, dooming their already moot debate on following the rat to irrelevance.
The Deputy and the Researcher stared at each other for a long moment.
"What the hell was that?" Ryoko asked rhetorically.
"Two in one day? And this one felt even stronger . . ." mused Ranma.
They shared another long look.
"Someone screwed up?" she asked, already knowing the answer.
"Oh yeah." Ranma answered regardless.
"Alright, you go to GD and find out what's going on. I'll take Sleeping Beauty back to the Sheriff's Office. I have a feeling I'm about to have a lot of visitors soon."
Ranma nodded, in complete agreement with her for probably the first time that she could recall. "Sounds like a plan."
And then he was smiling again. It wasn't a pleasant smile.
"I'll take the jeep."