A/N: Hey, updating this thing again. I just wanted to say that I'm loving the reviews and that I'm happy you guys are liking the story. Have a nice read! And see you next time.
"Ash, you know I love having you around but this is getting ridiculous." She tells me with a disappointed look.
"No it's not. You know what's ridiculous? Marrying freakin' Monica Gellar." I snap.
I've been spending a lot of time at Kyla's for the last week. I'm pretty sure I've been here more than the last 6 months combined. I've tried to throw myself in my work, but Spencer wouldn't take it and practically threatened me into taking off. And since I conveniently had the key's to Kyla's place, it wasn't difficult to know where I was hiding out most of the time.
"Oh please, I'm sure it's not that bad." She tells me, making a point of rolling her eyes dramatically.
"You're right. It's worse. She's been driving me crazy, Ky. Ever since she's been planning this wedding it's been 'buttercream-this' and 'ganache-that'. I swear if I have to taste another sample of wedding cake I'm going to throw up." I say with a nauseated face.
"I don't get why you just didn't hire a wedding planner. God knows you have the money for it." She says as she looks through her uninteresting mail. I already checked.
"I know! I've been suggesting that since the beginning but she thinks it's too impersonal and that she says she likes to have matters in her own hands." I sigh as I lean in deeper into comfortable couch.
"Hmm, I guess I understand that. I mean I would want to know what to expect for my own wedding too." She muses.
Meanwhile my phone start buzzing again and I just leave it on the table not bothering to pick it up.
"Ash." She says as she points to my phone.
"Yes?"
"Someone's calling you." She enlightens me, thinking I didn't notice it yet.
"I know."
"Well aren't you going to pick it up?" She asks me confused.
"No." I say expressionless.
"This does not bode well." She sighs while shaking her head in admonishingly manner.
"Kyla, you seriously do not know what it's like. It's like she's sweet and innocent Spencer one moment and then she turns into Bridezilla the next. I can't handle it anymore. I did not sign up for this." I explain her exasperated.
"Look it can't be-"
She's interrupted by a phone again, but this time it's hers and she picks it up before she even checks the caller ID.
"Yes? Oh, Spencer, what a pleasant surprise." She giggles nervously while eying me.
"Ashley? Uhm …"
I quickly stand up, alarmed, and mouth to tell her that I'm not here.
"She says that she's not here-"
Ugh, freaking idiot. It's official, I'm dead. I wonder if that would make a widow or not?
"I mean, she told me earlier that she wasn't here. Because, you know, I saw her outside. From my place. In the … uh … library! Yes! The library." She says stumbling over her words. She gives me a thumbs up telling me that she's doing just great.
The only thing I do is point my finger to my temple and pull the fake trigger of it.
"She shot herself?" She says softly as she gives me a confused look.
Oh God, what did I do to deserve this dense sister?
"Pass a message? Sure." She says before she puts her phone on speaker and holds it out in front of her. I sit back down and nervously wait for Spencer's angry voice to echo through the room.
"Will you tell your darling of a sister that without a wedding there will also be no honeymoon." She drawls in a fake sweet voice into the phone.
I immediately stand up from the couch and hurl out to get to the phone. Unfortunately, I forgot that there's still a coffee-table separating us and before I know it, I have already tripped over it and my face is met with the ground while my feet are still high up in the air. I guess this is what some people might call karma. I hurriedly try to get up on my own -considering Kyla finds it more amusing to laugh loudly instead of helping me out- and angrily snatch the phone from her.
"Hey, baby." I coo out of breath.
"Oh don't even try to 'hey, baby' me. Where the hell have you been?" She asks me angrily.
"Uhm," I look up nervously at Kyla as she, too, pulls 'the trigger' at her temple and then proceeds to hold up her two thumbs up. Signing me to just keep up with the excuses and all will be fine.
"I was at the library shoo- Oh fuck it, I was hiding out okay?" I snap, figuring the excuse would get me in more trouble.
"From what?" She asks genuinely confused.
"From you!" I tell her aggravated. I know I have no right to get mad with her right now, but it's bigger than myself and I can't seem to stop myself.
"Oh that's great. Now you're blaming me?" She asks disbelievingly.
"You've been driving me crazy with your wedding plans." I reveal, seeing no point in denying anything anymore.
"Well, excuse me if I want this day to be perfect." She hisses irritated.
"I was willing to hire a wedding planner. Hell, I would've hired fifteen if that's what it took."
"That's your answer to everything now isn't it: let someone else deal with it."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask her.
"It's supposed to mean that I want this day to be the best day of my entire life. And that I want everything to be perfect for it and I want to share that experience with you from the beginning of this. But how can it be perfect if you don't feel the same way about it as I do." She sighs dejectedly, letting the anger and bitterness leave her voice. I'm feel like a complete ass, when I hear that hurt tone and wonder how I always end up making her sad somehow.
"Spence, you know I do. It's just-"
"It's just that you don't care enough." She barely chokes out, evidently close to tears.
And than the line goes dead.
Shit.
"What's up, big sis?" She asks me hesitantly.
"I think I messed up, little sis."
"Spencer?" I softly say as I peek into her room.
I drove down to her parents' house the moment she hung up on me. She had a tendency to come back here when we'd have an argument of sorts and something told me that she wasn't about to change that habit. Mr. C. had opened the door for me and gave me a wink and said she was up in her room. I was halfway there when he said that it was going to be okay. I honestly doubt that there's a more kinder and understanding person than him in the entire world.
I hesitantly enter the room when I don't hear any answer. I don't see her at first but as I listen closer, I hear a few muffles from her walk-in closet. I make my way towards it and surely there she sits huddled in the back of it.
"Spencer." I sigh as I quickly make my way towards her. She makes a few attempts to wipe of her tears with the sleeves of her top, but it's already too late. I sit myself across of her and start to wipe her tears off myself with the pads of my thumb. She doesn't look up and the only noise that is made is from the muffled sobs of Spencer. A few minutes pass before I finally manage to catch all of her tears and for her to stop crying. I put a finger underneath her chin and gently lift her face so that she'd look straight into mine.
"I'm sorry." We both say simultaneously. We smile briefly at each other before I continue.
"No, Spence, I'm sorry. I was a totally inconsiderate ass that lied to you and left you to handle this whole wedding-thing on your own."
"Ash-"
"No, let me finish. I shouldn't have hid from you. You didn't deserve that. I'm just not really used to this whole shebang and everything just got to me and I needed some air to breath."
"Why didn't you just tell me that?" She asks me while here voice breaks.
"Because I'm an idiot. Because I thought you'd go all Paula on me and kick my ass." I joke and she laughs quietly and I know that the hardest part of the conversation is over. "But please don't think that I don't care or that I don't want this day to be as special as you. I proposed to you because I want to share my whole life with you. Because I want to experience every day and everything with you. Including this." I whisper into the quiet closet. Our eyes have not left from one and another and the intensity between them has increased to unknown levels. She takes my hand in hers and starts tracing the course of my lifelines.
"I know. It was a stupid thing to say. I slapped my forehead the moment that I said it."
"Spencer Carlin hitting herself. I would've paid to see that." I snicker.
"Yeah, well too bad. It's rare and thus not for sale." She laughs as she leans in to me. I'm expecting a kiss but she nuzzles her nose with mine instead. It's a terribly intimate move and oddly more satisfying that any passionate kiss. She continues tracing my jawline with the tip of her nose until she finally reaches my ear and breaths out small puffs of air on to it. My breathing is erratic and I can hear my heart thumping loudly in my chest.
"You have no idea how infatuated I am with you." She huskily whispers, before gently kissing my earlobe. She lingers for a moment and then backs away until she's facing me again. Her hooded eyes have turned a new shade of dark blue and I'm positive mine match her darkness. The tension-filled moment passes by as she suddenly starts chuckling.
"Seriously, the library?" She snorts in disbelief.
"Oh so the shooting myself part, you believed but the going to the library part you don't?" I ask her in mock hurt.
"Please, you could've said you were abducted by aliens and that would've been a more valuable excuse."
"Whatever," I laugh as I start picking at the carpet, " So, how's the wedding coming along? Is it already more imposing than Lady Di's wedding?" I joke, but I'm suddenly met with a very silent and uncomfortable Spencer.
"Spencer, what's wrong?" I ask her worried.
"About that …" She says wincing lightly, " I kinda discovered I'm not the best wedding planner out there." She says laughing nervously.
"It can't be that bad, Spence."
"They just called me to confirm the synagogue I apparently booked and that they're also offering a rabbi on top of it for half the price if I book him now." She says not taking her eyes away from the fiddling hands in her lap. I try to contain myself at first, but soon the snickers become chuckles, the chuckles become giggles and the giggles become uncontrolled laughing. It doesn't take long before she follows my suit and soon we're both a lying heap of barely breathing, laughing maniacs. It takes a few minutes before the snickers finally die down.
"Well, mazel tov to us then." I joke as I wipe away a still-there-tear in my eyes from our laughing tirade.
"This is not funny, Ash. What am I going to do?" She tells me suddenly alarmed.
"Drop the rabbi, I know a dude that can fix one for free." I say in mock-seriousness.
"Ash-leeey!" She whines as she swaths my hand.
I prop myself on one arm and hover over her lying body.
"Look, I'll handle this okay. Don't worry about a thing." I assure her.
"Are you sure? I can help you, you know. You don't have do this yourself."
"Look, you've been working on this non-stop alone and you deserve some rest. You look tired. Go sleep a bit and I'll be waiting for you when you wake up. Besides, I run my own label how hard can this be?"
"Do not underestimate this. Seriously." She warns me in a sweet manner. "But thanks for doing this. And I really am sorry for accusing you of not caring." She tells me sheepishly.
"Hey, hey no more apologies okay? Now, get some sleep." I say I quickly kiss her on the lips.
"I love you." She suddenly tells me seriously, "So much."
"I love you too, Spence."
"So, you think you can do that? Okay, awesome. I owe you big for this. Bye." I talk into the receiver.
"Uh-oh. You owing someone is never good." Spencer startles me as she snakes her arms around my waist. I turn my head around to meet her sleepy face and give her a quick kiss on the lips, hoping that she hadn't heard what I was talking about.
"Who was that?" She asks me as I turn around in her arms.
"Uhm … Pizza-guy." I answer her in absolute ditzy blonde moment. Guess Kyla isn't the only one with crappy excuses.
"You owe the pizza-guy big?" she asks me warily while raising her eyebrow.
"Yeah, well your folks went out for the night so I thought I'd order in and have some quality-time with you."
"And you owe the pizza-guy because …"
"Well, I know how much you love pineapple on your pizza's and they were out of it, so I lured him into going to the 7/11 and buy some sliced pineapples and place them on the pizza."
"Lured him how exactly?"
"I told him my girlfriend would flash her boobs." I shrug casually.
"Ashley!"
"I kid, I kid." I chuckle lightly, " I promised him 50 dollars of tip, if brought on time and in perfect state of course."
"Ashley?" She asks me while looking confused.
"Yeah?"
"Are you trying to score tonight?"
"Psh, like I need pizza with pineapple-topping for that." I snort.
"Uh, yeah you do."
"Okay, maybe." I tell her pensively before we both crack up in giggles. " Why don't you head out to the living room and pick a movie. Your choice."
" You sure you want to trust me with the DVD's, Ash? You know you're going to hate whatever I choose." She tells me pointedly. Spencer is a girl after all and romantic comedies were her anti-drug.
"I know," I sigh dramatically, "But since I'm awesome like that, I'm still going to let you choose."
"You're still not getting laid." She grins at me as she starts walking backwards towards the living room.
"What does a girl have to do to get some lovin' down here?" I manage to yell as she disappears through the kitchen door.
The moment I'm sure she's out of earshot, I start speed-dialing on my phone.
"Hello Pizza-service? Yeah, I need one large pepperoni with extra pineapple-topping please. And make it look fresh. "
"Stop it." She tells me annoyed, eyes never leaving the screen.
I snatch another popcorn and throw it right against her temple this time.
"I said stop it!" She hisses still not bothering to take her eyes off the movie.
I snatch another popcorn again, and manage to throw right in between her cleavage and into her top. Now that get's her eyes off the screen.
"Okay, what's your problem!" She yells at me aggravated, trying to hide her amusement for it all.
"This stupid movie is my problem. It's boring and ridiculously ancient." I say in a bored tone.
"It's a '99 movie. That's hardly ancient Ash." She deadpans as she tries to fish the offending popcorn from down her shirt.
"It's from another century, Spence." I say dumbfounded, not understanding her incapability of understanding my point. "Besides, who wants to see Hugh Grant say "whoopsie daisy" in a god awful English accent. And you know Julia Roberts freaks me out. That woman's mouth is way too big and just not in proportion with her face." I explain her rationally as she desperately tries to find the popcorn down her cleavage.
"You loved her in Erin Brokovich, though." She counters not bothering to look up.
I gently push her until her back is fully on the couch, " I said I loved Erin Brokovich, because hello? Can you spell MILF? But not the person that actually plays her." I say as I turn of the TV before straddling her waist.
"Hmm, so you've got the hots for a fictional single mom … Should I be worried?" She muses.
"Not if you're planning on giving me some, tonight," I seductively husk while tugging at her shirt a little. " Want me to fish out that damn piece of popcorn for ya?"
"Oh wow, that has got to be one of the lamest excuses ever to get inside one's pants." She tells me amused, but doesn't make a move to swath my hands from inching up her bare stomach.
"Did it work?" I ask in a childlike manner.
"Nope."
"Speeence," I groan," You're killing me! Soon I'll be out of lame maneuvers to lure you into doing sexual stuff with me." I whine as I rest my head on her chest and ease my way into fully lying on top of her.
"You'll live." She laughs quietly as she places one hand on the exposed skin between my jeans and ridden up shirt and tangles the other in my hair. Rhythmically threading her fingers through my locks and lulling me into a state of complete and utter comfort. We both let ourselves soak into the silence and calmth that this moment with it brings. The only sounds I hear are the breaths that are puffed right above me and the soothing thump of her beating heart beneath me.
"Spence?" I ask, breaking the long-lasting silence.
"Hmm."
"If I wouldn't have proposed, would've you proposed to me? You know, eventually." I whisper as I snuggle a little deeper into her.
I can tell that the question catches her off-guard as she momentarily stops threading her fingers through my locks. But just as soon as she stopped, she starts the soothing movement again.
"I don't know." She says pensively. " Yes, maybe, … I really don't know."
I don't really know how to take her statement and her hesitance on the subject. But before I can even muse about it any further, she's already continuing her explanation.
"I mean I've thought about it. God, knows I've thought about it." She whispers knowingly, "But I guess I was never really sure, you know. I mean, I was sure about me, but just not about you …"
"What do you mean by that?" I ask in a non-aggravated way but a truly confused one. I know better than to make immediate accusations without hearing the complete story behind it. You learn a lot when you're together with the same person for six years.
"It's just … I know you never really were into the whole wedding-thing and that you took all of that with a grain of salt. I didn't want to push you into something you didn't want and then end up losing you because of it. I'm content in any way I get you and if you didn't want to get married that I would've respected that. As long as I get to be with you." She tells me sincerely and I feel her giving me a soft kiss on top of my head. I place a small kiss of my own on her pulse point, before I start talking again.
"It's true." I divulge, "I never really was into the whole marrying-thing and vowels and whatnot. Which you can't really blame me for if you have my parents as role models." I explain before I lift my head from her chest and look into her eyes.
"I also didn't believe in relationships or any kind of true love." I say honestly, "And look at me now," I continue, my voice thick with emotion. "Being in a long term relationship, lovesick, completely whipped …" I smile as I say this and she returns the gesture, " … and proposing."
She continues watching me silently before a little twinkle in her eye appears and a small grin start forming on her face.
"God, you really wanna get laid don't you?" She jokes and the laughing comes naturally.
"The whole me not wanting to commit, that was before you Spence." I tell her earnestly as she starts rubbing her hands up and down my back. " And I admit I have been tempted to just walk away and take the easy path even when we were together but then I see the smile on your face and it tells me that you need me …" I smile goofily knowing that she'll catch the phrase.
"Oh yeah? That's because there's a look in your eyes saying that you'll never leave me." She responds without missing a beat. Just like I expected her to do so. I've seen the movie so many times, it's only logical that I know the lyrics to the soundtrack by heart by now. That and I might've sang it to her once in a complete corny moment of mine.
--
I had gotten up quietly out of bed for a quick drink downstairs. I always was incredibly thirsty through the night and Spencer never forgot to put an ice cold bottle of water on my night table, but I had already drank it down it three gulps. When I step back in the room, I couldn't help but admire her as she lays there sprawled all over the bed and a pillow tightly clutched in her arms. Surprisingly Spencer is the sleepyhead between the two of us. She could sleep through a storm without a flinch but my absence normally wakes her up instantly. That's why I always have to be extra carefully when I get up at night. Because I definitely am the insomniac in the relationship. I smile to myself as I see her reaching out for me in her sleep and frown when she doesn't find my there. It won't take long before she realizes that I'm really not there and not just in her dream. I head to a corner of our room and grab the black acoustic guitar that's endlessly decorated with the most variable stickers. My dad gave it to me when I was fourteen and it instantly became my favorite present of his right along with the jacket he gave me the night he met Spence.
I head back to the bed, sit cross-legged next to Spencer and put the guitar in my lap. I gently reach over to trace the crease on her forehead, trying to make the little frown disappear. I deeply inhale one last time before I start strumming my guitar and let the room fill with the tunes of one of Spencer's favorite songs. Her taste in music wasn't always exactly the same as mine but I've already gotten over that fact quite easily. Hell, I took her to freaking Kelly Clarkson for one of her birthdays but her smile was more than enough reason to commit musical suicide once and awhile.
"It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart," I softly start singing into the night. Spencer hasn't shown any real signs of waking up yet and I just continue. "Without saying a word you can light up the dark." She starts stirring a little bit and unconsciously reaches out for me again. She touches my bare knee and is content with leaving it there for awhile.
"Try as I may I can never explain," She's finally realizing that something is up and slowly is gaining a form consciousness. Her hands leaves my knee and reaches to her own face as she starts rubbing her closed eyes. "What I hear when you don't say a thing …" I pause for a moment but don't stop strumming the guitar as I fondly look at her opening her eyes and drowsily looking at me with a confused face.
"Ashley?" She asks me cutely as she takes me in with her hooded eyes. Watching her process everything in her head and see her face contort from confusion to realization and eventually blissfulness is endearingly sweet and charming. I lightly keep strumming my guitar as I watch her attentively and wait for my cue to continue singing. She turns around a bit, props her head on her hand and flashes me a bright smile. And just then I cut back in …
"The smile on your face lets me know that you need me," I sing softly and without losing contact with her eyes. She smiles even brighter as she takes my little hint. "There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me," She mouths me a 'never' in such an exaggerated matter that I cannot help but laugh out loud in the middle of the song, "The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall," She reaches out her hand again and now starts tracing inexistent motives with her finger right beneath my knee. I shudder at the contact and it's clear that she feels it too. "You say it best …" I sing, suddenly stopping my strumming altogether and hold her gaze with mine. There's no goofing around anymore and both our expressions have become serious. She bites down her lip and looks at me through her hooded eyes as I hesitantly start playing again, " … When you say nothing at all." The guitar is already taken out my hands and carefully placed next to the bed before I can even process it. I find myself fully laid on the bed with her straddling me even quicker. But the languid kiss and whispered love-confessions that followed I would never forget.
--
And forget I did not. That night is still one of my most cherished on fondest memory with her. But even though, everything about that night felt so magical and out of this world I hope that it'll be trumped many more times in the many years to come.
" I won't." I confess her earnestly.
"Ashley?"
"Yeah?"
"You're gonna get laid tonight." She tells me this with the most serious and lustful face, that I don't know whether I should laugh or cry or just do both.
She pulls me into her and our hungry lips barely touch each other, before my cell loudly starts buzzing on the table next to us.
"Leave it …" She whispers hotly in between heated kisses and I momentarily give in. Too absorbed with her sweet cherry lips meeting mine and her soft hands exploring my back. But I quickly realize who that might be and reluctantly untangle myself from her. She whines in frustration as she tries to pull me down again.
"I can't, baby. I have to take this." I sigh dejectedly as I see her pouting at me. She knows I usually don't let business-calls get in between our personal time, certainly not while this sort of personal time so I can understand her surprise and sadness. I slowly stand up and lean back down to kiss her on the forehead. " I'll be back in a sec, I swear." She nods gloomily never losing the pout and I smile at her petulant attitude.
I take the still buzzing cell in my hand -I told them not to hang up until I answered- and head to the kitchen for some privacy. "Hey, so did everything work out? Really? Okay, that's great! Seriously, thanks for doing this … Okay, bye." I whisper into the phone, trying to withhold any squeals and avoid questions from Spencer. I head out of the kitchen and saunter my back to the couch where Spencer's patiently waiting for me.
"Hey, it's really nice and warm tonight. Do you wanna head out for awhile?" I ask her bashfully.
"Now?" She asks me confused and I simply nod at her, "To do what exactly?"
"I wanna waste time chasing cars with you." I answer her sweetly. She ducks her head a little as a faint blush creeps up on her cheeks. She then stands up and strolls towards me, taking my hand in hers. She swings our clasped hands between us and I get a flashback to the night we told her parents about the engagement.
"Time with you is never wasted." She tells me with a bright smile, before she leads me towards the door.