Thank you to Sara Lynn 86 for being my first reviewer! It does not go unnoted.
Disclaimer: Don't own it!
This is in Bella's point of view.
Chapter two: Shame
Last time: I am nothing short of stunned. Along with a leaking fear, my body is buzzing. He felt so good to touch; it felt amazing to be touched by him – like pure electricity. I wonder if he felt anything at all himself. I look to him as he leaves the room, practically pushing other students out of the way. Just at the doorway, Jasper and Alice are leaving – they both throw me weary glances before dashing out of the door themselves. The rest of the day should be interesting.
Jessica is in my face before I can take another breath.
"Oh my gosh! What luck! How was that? Edward usually has to play musical chairs with dancing partners! It seems you'll be his permanent one now that there's an even number!"
"Jessica, let her breathe", Mike Newton comes and stands beside me, offering his arm, "Shall we go onto our next lesson before we are late?"
Angela bats her eyes at Ben who shuffles nervously, "Yes, we should. Let's go Ben, Jessica".
Jessica looks disappointed, but follows us out to our next class. Mike makes a turn to go upstairs. We walk down the narrow hallway to the end and go into a small classroom with a French flag. Oh no – French lessons.
Edward Cullen is perfect speaking French. I don't even mind discovering it this way: listening to him recite the passage after I butchered it. He sits in the desk in front and I watch his neck from here, in the back.
"Le rose et moi differons d'une chose…" his voice, like velvet.
My face grows warm when I think of his eyes – cold and hateful – when he danced with me. There is no way on God's green earth that this perfect boy, this Adonis, would ever look upon me with love. I feel shameful for even entertaining the day dream.
French lessons end quickly to my delight, I get Mademoiselle Lacriox to sign my paper and we head off to our final lesson for the day; piano.
The classroom is down the opposite hallway of our French and is all hardwood floors. In the middle of the room is a shiny black grand piano surrounded by chairs. My heart drops into my stomach. I can sing, but I was never any good at playing piano. My mother was brilliant; she could play a tune any time upon command. I was always jealous of that talent.
"But you can sing like an angel, my Bella", she said laughing, playing a romantic tune.
"Oh you know people admire piano playing more than singing", I said gloomily from my spot on the floor.
The piano stopped, I felt her hand under my chin, "Bella, love, your voice with call to someone special someday. I know it. Promise me you will not hide from yourself".
My eyes are stinging from the memory as I sit next to the window. I wish I could leave and be outside among the trees.
"Good day to you all", a disheveled man in a dusty looking suit said. He didn't look like he was having a good day at all, "Miss Swan, I believe I need to sign something of yours. Mr. Cullen, would you be so kind?"
Confused, I stood up and walked slowly to my teacher and handed him the paper. Edward was by my side, my heart sped up and my palms got sweaty, and he walked briskly by me to sit at the piano. His eyes were black as ever once again, shoulders stiff. He sat down and looked at me – that murderous glare.
The paper was handed back to me.
"Miss Swan, you may sit down now".
"Oh – thank you…" I looked at the paper in my trembling hands for his name, "Mr. McArthur".
I made my way back to my chair as Edward started to play the piano and I was hit once again with a wave of intriguing desire. I had a perfect view of his face from my seat. He is so beautiful… and flawless. Does he ever make a mistake? From French to piano, he has it all nailed down. He needs some help with dancing though. Maybe it was just me. The shame creeps its way up my spine for the third time today. You know you're not good enough for him – look at the way he looks at you, with hatred. What did I ever do to him? Be born uninteresting.
I shove these thoughts away and concentrate on his playing. He's playing something I've never heard before. It's simple, beautiful and puts me into a trance. The notes linger on and on, and then finally, it ends.
I open my eyes and find Edward staring intently right at me. I stare right back, my skin growing warmer. His eyes are still black, depthless.
"Wonderful, Mr. Cullen! You've been studying. That's a new piece, is it not?" Mr. McArthur praises him.
Edward keeps his black eyes on me, "Claude Debussy's 'Claire de Lune'".
Next to me, Jessica laughs softly and nudges me. I look down, embarrassed.
"Well, well. Published this year, no doubt. Well done Edward, thank you for showcasing the piece all of us will attempt to master by the end of the term. I will cut class short today, good afternoon".
Students darted out of the class before I stood. I looked up to the piano, and found an empty chair.
"Well, Miss Swan – someone can't get enough of you", Jessica sounded jealous as she lead me out of class.
"I don't think so. I don't think he likes me much." I said quietly.
"Oh come off it", she said.
"I need to go back to the dance hall; I need to give Mrs. Westly my paper with my signatures on it", I said, breaking free of Jessica and walking down the stairs.
I hurried over to the dance hall's large open doors to greet Mrs. Westly; suddenly I heard a deep velvet voice.
"I don't understand why I am required to take this course, ma'am. I've already proven myself."
"I understand that, Mr. Cullen. But you should know your father wouldn't approve of this, with the inaugural ball a month away. It's customary to follow procedure".
"But I could use the extra time to catch up on my studies…"
"Oh please, Edward – your marks are exemplary. You need no extra time to study. The final word is no."
I walk in timidly, trying to make as little noise as possible. Edward snaps his head in my direction immediately.
"Miss Swan! Here to drop off your signatures?"
"Yes, Mrs. Westly", I say, my eyes on Edward's scrutinizing glare.
"Ok, well everything's in order here. Good. Have a good afternoon, Miss Swan. Mr. Cullen, you know what I expect of you." With that, she marches off with Edward on her heels.
What is wrong with me? He is trying to get out of the class because of me.
I walked outside and found Jessica and Angela standing under a tree.
"Bella! Have you heard?" Angela said excitedly.
"Of course I haven't", I replied sullenly.
Jessica chimed in, "Mrs. Knight has planned an evening out in the city! She's taking the junior and senior class out for an evening of recreation in your honor!" My jaw dropped open, "of course it's just an excuse for fun, but isn't it great!"
"Hmm…" I began, "I guess".
"We won't have chaperones, and we're strictly to stay within two blocks, but still – we get an evening to walk and see dresses and shops and men! We're leaving at five sharp!"
"Mrs. Knight just announced it, you were in the dance hall", Angela said.
They begin chirping to each other about what they hope to see, who they hope to see them, and what they are going to wear. To be honest, I have no desire to be out and about tonight. I know it's unattractive, but I am feeling sorry for myself.
Jessica and Angela sit down on the soft grass, and I do the same. Many students are outside in the gray afternoon, walking about, playing catch and lounging. The air is comfortable; I guess the prospect of an evening out has everyone in a good mood. Everyone but me.
Not far down the slight hill from our tree, I see Edward. He is standing a few feet away from his family. Alice and Rosalie are sitting, laughing; Jasper and Emmett are play fighting with one another.
"You'll ruin your good pants!" I hear Alice shriek at Jasper.
Rosalie laughs loudly and throws her head back. I will never know that happiness, or what it feels like to be that striking to everyone.
I need to stop this odd fixation with Edward. It's damaging, but somehow I can't help it.
"Let's get ready for this evening, shall we?" Jessica says loudly. Angela nods her head.
"Meet in our room later and we'll dress", Angela says, giddy.
In our room, Angela shows me her makeup collection and her hats and pins. She tells me she's going to wear a light pink dress this evening.
"Do you think Ben will like it?" She asks me as she twists my hair.
"Oh, of course; you don't see much of that color this time of year", I say politely.
"I suppose. What are you wearing?"
"Nothing special, I think I'll wear a blue dress my mother gave me". The dark blue dress is amazing and I adore it. It's a silk material, a v-neck dress that hugs around my torso and hangs from there. It has a matching belt around my waist as well. My mother also gave me a nice necklace to wear with it. Since its cold, I'll wear my black velvet cape to go with it.
"Well, your hair is complete!" I admire her handiwork. My hair is half up, half down, the top half has been twisted back intricately and secured with bobby pins, and the rest of my hair is curled, hanging down my back.
A knock sounds at our door, "You ready to dress, ladies?" Jessica waltzes in with her purple dress over her arm.
A half hour later, we emerge from our door, ready to go. We make our way down the awaiting carriages. Jessica and Angela step up, and I make to follow them when I remember I forgot to put on my mother's necklace.
"Oh, I forgot my necklace! Go ahead, I'll get on another carriage and I'll see you there!" I run back to the school and up to my room where I rummage around my things and finally find it. I clasp it together and run back down the carriages.
There are three already full and pulling away from the school, one is about to be filled completely, and one more that looks like it has room. I start to walk over to it when I notice who's standing beside it; Edward and his family. My feet stop. Should I go or should I force myself into an already filled carriage?
"Miss Swan! We don't want to leave you behind", Mrs. Knight's hand pushes me towards the Cullen's. Of all the luck in the world, mine seems to have run out this year.
The carriage door is open, waiting for me. Mrs. Knight gives me one last push and steps into another carriage. I stand there, deciding weather or not to run for it.
"It's now or never, miss", the carriage driver says to me, laughing. I look to him, he's a dark colored young man with black hair and white teeth, he's smiling at me.
"Yeah, yeah", I say under my breath as I climb in.
I sit quickly and I keep my hands clasped together tightly on my lap. The carriage is filled with a heavenly smell. I wonder what perfume the Cullen girls wear. I look over to them. Rosalie and Emmett are cuddled together; I look away from them, embarrassed.
"Rose, Emmett stop doing that, we have company", Alice says snidely.
My face grows redder by the second as all of their eyes fall on me; all but one pair. Edward is sitting furthest away from me, looking out the window.
"Hello Bella, my name is Alice Cullen, this is my fiancé Jasper Hale", Alice's wide eyes nod to Jasper beside her who smiles slowly at me, "You'll have to forgive Rosalie and Emmett, they forget themselves regularly."
Curiously, I feel brave and confident, "Don't mind me. I'm not easily offended with such things".
Alice's eyebrows perk up, "Hmm… did you hear that? You've been given permission you two".
"Don't encourage them, dear", Jasper says to Alice.
"Thank you for your consent, Bella", Emmett says to me, laughing.
"It's nice to meet you, Bella", Rosalie says, pinching Emmett.
"Likewise, Rosalie, Emmett", I say confidently. What a strange thing – I'm never suddenly brave.
Alice's head snaps to Edward and she smiles, he looks at her and does not reciprocate it, she shrugs her shoulders and turns to me, "I'm sure you know my brother Edward – your dance partner."
A low grumble comes from Edward, it doesn't go unnoticed – the Cullen's grow very still and my confidence high crashes and burns. I look out the window, and pretend not to notice. Our carriage slows and stops a few silent minutes later and I am the first one out – I don't even wait for the door to open for me. All I feel is fear. It's illogical, but there it is. The Cullen's don't call out for me and I don't wait for them. I need to find Jessica and Angela and pretend this didn't happen.
I walk with my hands to my sides blindly until I realize I don't see anyone from school anymore. I'm on the corner of an ill-lit street by myself. Spite. I will just go back the way I came, no problem. I walk forward and nothing looks familiar. I remember turning a corner, but I don't know where. I'm not that incompetent, I've been in a city before, and I'll find my way back. I do have a few hours.
I turn a corner and keep walking. I hear some feet shuffle behind me, I turn and I see a couple men walking together, their hands in their pockets. There are no shops near here, and I wonder why they're following me. I walk a little faster and trip a little on a loose cobblestone.
"Need help there, love?" One of the men addresses me. He sounds drunk.
I don't acknowledge them; I just keep walking, praying that I won't trip again.
"Oh, come on deary – he's just lonely. Will you keep him company?" The other man starts on me now. If I just keep walking, I'm bound to find something, someone to help me.
I turn again, a little too fast – it must have rained because I slip on the slick stones beneath me and I fall hard to the ground, and I knock the wind out of myself.
I am having a hard time breathing when the men approach me.
"I offered you my help, but you didn't take it. Now I'll show you why you should have", the man leans down and grabs my arm roughly. He throws me up against a wall in a nearby alley. His breath stinks of alcohol and his face is hard, without empathy. The other man is standing, acting as a look-out.
"Please", a tear slides down my cheek, "please don't do this", I plead softly, seeing that I'm losing the battle. I can't breathe.
Suddenly, a flash of white and a cold wind knocks the stinking man off of me. I hear swift thuds and grunts. In a tangle on the ground, I see someone knocking out my assailants. Two dark forms are limp on the cold ground, I look up and Edward Cullen stands before me.
I stand, unable to move, unable to breathe or say thank you. I am too stunned.
"Come with me", Edward says as he takes my hand. I follow, I would go anywhere with him.
We walk together towards the lights of downtown when I realize he's still holding my hand. I look down to our clasped hands. He looks at me and lets my hand go. My fingers are buzzing from the contact. His hands are cold, but they feel amazing.
"Are you alright?" His voice doesn't waiver.
"I think so. Nothing happened." I say, my voice breaking.
"What do you mean nothing happened? They were going to hurt you." His voice is hard, his eyes flashing at me. His golden eyes.
"Your eyes are lighter", I say to him without thinking.
He turns to me, "what did you say?"
"Your eyes are lighter. Earlier, they were black, now they're golden. You seem to be in a better mood when are eyes are this color". Suddenly, I'm angry about his behavior earlier.
"I apologize for the way I behaved today at school and in the carriage. I was dealing with something that I know I can control now". He says this reluctantly. "We aren't talking about this. Are you alright?" His voice softens and he turns to me, putting his cold hand on my shoulder, stopping me.
My breathing hitches and my heart picks up; he leans away and lets me go.
I am horrible. Why did I have to say that? Not only does he think I'm rude, but he obviously feels sorry for me. I don't want his pity. I hate to admit it, but it would be nice to believe he saved me because he couldn't think of me in danger. I would like to think of him as my own protector. For me. Not saving me because it's what he should do.
We make it to downtown in no time. I feel embarrassed about my words a few minutes ago. I shouldn't have been so ungrateful for him literally saving my life and virtue. I turn to him to apologize and thank him… and he's gone.
Thanks for reading!!!! Please review and tell me what you think so far. I want to establish the story, so I'm taking a while with the set-up. It's going to be great! Please, please, please let me know what you think!!!
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