"Spencer, what did I tell you about doing any shores?" I admonish as I walk up to her from behind. Snaking my arms around her waist until they're resting on her stomach. I prop my chin on her shoulder and gently kiss her cheek. Revealing my not-so-angered state.
"It's no problem, okay? It's just dishes." She assures me, drying her hands along the way.
"I said I would do them. Besides, we have a dishwasher for something." I tell her pointedly, hugging her form closer to me as I feel her warm hands covering mine.
"Ash, what did I tell you about not giving me any space to do things? I can take care of myself." She says slightly annoyed as she turns around. Leaning against the counter and pouting madly at me. She knows how much it affects me. Even after eight years. But I'm very firm when it comes to this issue.
"But I want to take care of you." I explain softly, placing my hands over her stomach once again. "Both of you." I whisper genuinely, before I lean in and kiss the tip of her nose.
She tries to hold her pout a little while longer, but to no avail. It quickly dissipates and makes place for a bashful smile. Now that, I truly cannot defend myself against. It still has the power to melt me mercilessly.
"I know." She sighs as she draws my body closer to hers. "But you need to trust me on this. I'm barely 8 weeks in and I know when and when not to stop, okay?" She assures me as she covers my hands with hers once more. She flashes me a halfhearted smile, before excessively pouting again. And this time, I can't brace myself for it.
"Okay." I sigh in mock annoyance. Not really liking the idea of her straining herself any more than she should. But I've learned to trust her blindly these last few years. We both have. And this is just one more aspect I should have faith in.
"See, that wasn't too hard." She teases as she shifts her hands until they're wrapped around my neck. She leans in until her lips brush mine, locking them in a loving kiss.
"Hmmm." I hum dreamily as she parts her lips from my lingering ones. Her idle and massaging fingers taunt me to lean right back in, kissing her lightly for a second time.
"How 'bout you let me take care of you upstairs." I husk as I press my body gently against hers. Shifting my hands from her stomach to her hips.
"How 'bout …" She begins, biting her lip seductively as she brings her mouth to my ear. Making my heart race as I feel her breathe heavily against it. "You sashay your sexy little ass all the way there …" She says while pointing her thumb to the left. " … grab an apron and finish these dishes with me." She finishes off in a muttered chuckle. Gently shoving me backwards, while flashing me an evil grin.
"Come on, hurry up. You wouldn't want me to tire myself out, now wouldn't you?" She teases me, biting the inside of her cheek to keep herself from laughing out loud.
I barely manage to get over my astonishment, before a forced smile covers my face.
"You're evil." I accuse, pointing a condescending finger towards her. She shrugs halfheartedly in return, before cocking her head to the left. Gesturing to me to grab the apron already. I shake my head disbelievingly, before mindlessly following her orders. Some things never change. And it comforts me like nothing else.
--
"I wonder when she's going to start kicking." I whisper, hesitantly breaking the silence we were finding ourselves in.
I hear her chuckling lightly, feeling the tremors of her moving stomach against my cheek. The sensation feels quite wonderful combined with the hand that's leisurely combing through my curls.
"I think we're still a few months away from that, Ash." She tells me amused. A smile appears on my face as I start thinking of all the emotional rollercoaster's that are still awaiting us. I've been looking forward to them since the day Spencer had announced that she was finally pregnant. I actually had to strain myself numerous times to not immediately start design the baby's room.
"And why do you keep saying 'she'? It could easily be a 'he'." She says matter-of-factly. I gently turn around in my position, careful not to hurt her in any way, until I'm facing her. Her head lightly propped upon a few pillows and mine propped upon her stomach.
"I don't know, I just got a feeling it's going to be a girl." I muse, shrugging lightly.
"A feeling?" She asks me, knitting her eyebrows in amusement.
"You know …" I drawl lightheartedly. "A hunch, an intuition, an instinct." I say, continuously poking her side with every word I utter.
"Okay, okay I get it!" She manages to say in between giggles. Frantically swatting my prying hands, until she catches one between hers. Instantly lacing them and I don't think twice before I bring them to my lips. Soundly kissing the back of her hand, before tucking it beneath my chin.
"But seriously, Spence …" I begin, my eyes never losing their focus on hers. "Boy or girl, it doesn't matter. As long as they got your genes, I know they're going to be the most precious thing on earth. Well, next to you of course." I candidly add as an afterthought. I feel her thumb lightly tracing the skin beneath my chin, when an idle smile appears on her face. To this day, it still amazes me how much simple gestures like that still affect me. How strongly they affect me and how it somehow surges a new feeling in me every single time. And how it makes me feel as if nothing else in the world matters besides her and that divine smile of hers.
"You're always going to be a sweet talker, aren't you?" She quips, while gently tangling her unoccupied hand in my hair again.
"It's a gift. I can't help it." I retort in faux innocence. She starts to chuckle lightly, before she suddenly winces. Retreating her hand from my hair and shifting it towards her head. I'm up in an instant and by her side.
"Hey, what's wrong?" I ask softly. I gently grab her hand and slowly shift it from her head. Naively hoping to make it better by leaning in and gently kissing her forehead.
"It's just a little headache." She reassures me with a smile. But the small gesture only makes her wince more. She's been having these headaches more and more lately. And it really pains me to see her in any kind of hurt.
"You sure?" I ask gently as I soothingly start threading my fingers through her hair.
She nods affirmatively, before closing her eyes. The soothing gesture clearly having the effect I was reaching. I briefly contemplate asking her to call it a night, but I stop myself thinking about her earlier words. The last thing I want is to aggravate her by fussing too much again. It's clear that she's been extremely sensitive about the issue.
"Hey, you wanna head out for a little walk?" I ask and her eyes immediately flutter back open in surprise. Her eyebrows knit in confusion at my offer. "It's gorgeous outside tonight. I would hate to go out by myself, when I could go with you." I continue, shrugging in fake indifference.
She gazes at me for a while, before smiling at me knowingly. And as she leans to me, plants a lingering kiss on my lips and whispers a thank you against them, I know I said just the right thing.
--
"You remember when we had our little talk here way back then?" I ask as I glance towards her. Quietly marveling her moonlit face.
"Of course I do." She says while eyeing her bare feet. Her slippers had already been discarded, opting to bury her feet in the cold sand instead. "How could I forget you wanting to redeem yourself after being a complete ass to me." She answers cheekily, before poking me in the side goodheartedly.
"Whatever. My charming ways always trump my assy ones. Besides I was just trying to make you jealous … and with success." I tease, before bumping her shoulder with mine.
"Says the girl who's been giving our neighbors' kid the evil eye for a week now." She retorts playfully. Bumping my shoulder right back along the way.
"He does not need to hug you that long and that tightly." I answer hotly. That kid has been taking advantage of Spencer's kindness and natural urge to cuddle anyone that's remotely sweet to her. No matter how fake it is.
"Ashley, he's six." She deadpans.
"Whatever. Like that makes him any less guilty." I mutter under my breath. Shifting my eyes to the deck above us in false aggravation. I wasn't really mad. Just annoyed at my predictability and my ridiculous jealous outbursts when it came to Spencer. That and I wanted Spencer to comfort me. Mainly the latter reason.
"Aw, it's okay." She coos before tangling one hand in mine and using the other to shift my gaze back to hers. "I still love you despite your psychotic jealous streaks. It's cute." She assures me, before leaning in and kissing me lightly on the lips. "Occasionally." She finishes with a grin, once she's shifted her face from mine.
"You're lucky you're pregnant or I would totally be kicking your ass right now."
"Ooh, I'm petrified." She says in a bored tone.
I glare at her, before I lift my hands and start wriggling my fingers. Silently threatening her with a new tickle-attack. Her eyes widen as she quickly straightens up.
"I mean, how noble of you." She says tightlipped. Her eyes never losing their focus on my hands. Spencer may have me wrapped around her little finger, I still had some leverage with mines too occasionally. It was incomparable, but still.
Our eyes briefly meet and we instantly share a smile.
"Truce?" We ask simultaneously. Lightly cracking up at our in sync thoughts. Without a moments hesitance, I snake my arm around her waist. Hugging her chilled form closer to me.
"Truce." She mumbles quietly, as she gently nuzzles the crook of neck with her nose. Soundlessly kissing the skin there before sighing contentedly into the air.
We remain huddled closely to the other. Soundlessly enjoying the peacefulness of our surroundings. The serenity and calmness we somehow always seem to create no matter where we are. Only needing to be in the proximity of the other to completely isolate ourselves from the rest of the world. We didn't need any deserted beaches at late hours to create these instants. That doesn't mean I wasn't grateful for the setting.
"Sometimes I wonder how things would have been if I hadn't met you." I hush quietly into the night. Hesitantly breaking the silence we were founding ourselves in. "Or if things didn't work out like they did. If you wouldn't have given me, given us a second chance." I continue softly, my eyes staring in front me but my arm tightening the grip on her. "It scares me. Because I see how I am now with you. How good you make me feel. How happy you make me. And I can't imagine ever being able to live a life different from this one. I can't imagine living a life without you." I manage to say barely above a whisper. I shift the hand around her waist until it softly presses her bare stomach. Smiling lazily as I feel the barely noticeable bump beneath my fingers. Still not quit believing that our child is slowly but surely growing up in there.
"I don't know what I did to deserve this. To deserve you. I don't know if I deserve it at all in the first place. But I'm grateful for it." I sigh quietly. Sensing my voice becoming more labored with each truthful word I utter. "Every singly day, I'm grateful." I finish breathlessly.
I let the silence envelope us briefly, while I caringly stroke her stomach. But I chance a nervous glance at her when she doesn't even move an inch. Afraid that I might've made her feel uncomfortable with my words.
Instead, I'm met with a peacefully asleep Spencer. Her face buried deep in the crook of my neck and her hand loosely clutching the fabric of sweater. For the second time in only a few moments I smile contently to myself. I protectively draw her tighter to me. Partly to shield her from the cold, partly to seek her warmth for myself.
I rest my head on hers and shut my eyes. Figuring it wouldn't hurt to stay just a little while longer. The next mumbled words I hear, I'll always wonder about. I'll wonder whether they were created in my own tired mind or not.
"You deserve so much more."