An update! First of all, a big thank you to all those who reviewed. About Nowaki/Hiroki...don't worry we haven't seen the last of Nowaki.

While the sky darkens

- Hiroki -

XX

I wonder, what's the ideal way for a relationship to end? Should it go out with a bang, shouting and screaming at each other, or should it just fade away quietly without anyone ever realising? Maybe with firecrackers. And a musical accompaniment. What does the end of a relationship sound like? Like the last fireworks trailing through the sky? Maybe the sound of broken china.

I think, maybe, Satie's Gymnopedie or something like that, steadily plodding along on its lonely way. Or Chopin's Raindrop Prelude maybe. Light hearted and melancholic, growing darker, growing lighter, then fading away.

I don't know. I'm a literature professor, not some damn music teacher! I imagine it would be something on the piano though. Just the piano. Some stupid guy in a white suit in a lonely room, a spotlight blaring down at him whilst he plays and plays the same song over and over again, fingers tapping on the ivory keys. One for every day of his life. One for every stupid mistake.

I feel like a dead person that has been dragged up from the grave and forced to work in a stupid university full of stupid know-nothing kids. I showered last night but I was too tired to wait to dry off yesterday, maybe that's why my head is still spinning.

I rub my forehead and swallow my coffee in gulps. I avoid the pain killers. Pain killers are for little girls, and besides I think I'll probably be drinking soon so that I can forget about all that confusing stuff as soon as possible.

I let the lukewarm coffee slide down my throat whilst I try to concentrate on marking these damn papers. The youth of today are so stupid. That's another red cross for Takahashi and, since I'm in a bad mood, I make it extra large.

"Ka-mi-jou! What's wrong? Wake up on the wrong side of the bed?"

I start when I hear Miyagi's voice. Though I am grateful that he's attempting to give my life some semblance of normalcy, is a simple 'good morning' too much to ask?

"Professor Miyagi!" I refuse to look at him even though I can feel him standing behind me. "If you have time to pester me, please go to your next class!"

It's impossible to wake up on the wrong side of the bed anyway. The right side would be Nowaki's side, but since he's not here anymore both sides are mine. The thought is unpleasant. I don't need to be thinking about stuff like this when I'm trying to work so I promptly shut out it out of my head.

"Ah! The affections of youth are ever fickle!" he sighs dramatically and comes round to lean a hand against my desk.

I have no idea whether he's talking about me or the students in his class but I take offence anyway.

Miyagi throws his hands up. They fall back down, as if he has nothing to do with their direction, right around my shoulders. "Ah, don't be so cold Kamijou! Not after our little mouth to mouth!" he whispers. Is he trying to piss me off?

I had hoped to forget about that. I grimace with annoyance and try to throw him off but suddenly he's all serious again and his breath is tickling my ear.

"Seriously though," his voice takes on a low quality. "Do you need to talk? You can come round my place and drink off some of that load you're carrying if you want to."

Miyagi's unexpectedly astute. For someone who acts like an idiot most of the time. I think about accepting the invitation but I also feel like being alone.

"Maybe," I promise to think about it.

"Don't take everything on yourself."

"I'm okay. You don't have to worry about me," I finally shake him off.

Miyagi sighs. "Don't you get it? It's because you say things like that, that I worry about you."

I don't really know what to say so I just shrug and mutter; "I'm okay," which only makes Miyagi sigh even louder. It pisses me off a bit. Honestly, what does he want me to say? 'Please comfort me, professor'? 'Please hold me until I'm feeling better'? As if I would. I have my pride. I probably would not even say those kind of things to Nowaki. Probably.

There I go again. Poking at my own wounds. It stings and it's burning, deep enough to leave a scar. That's no good. If I keep thinking about the past, if I scar, I won't be able to forget about him, even though I'm resolved to do so, I won't be able to move on.

So I sit and reminisce.

Miyagi's class can't wait any longer so he leaves me alone. As the door shuts I throw my pen aside. It frsutrates me that my personal life is interfering with my work, I was never this unprofessional. Damn Nowaki. I wonder if he's tried to contact me. Of course, he doesn't know my new address or my phone number but he could always show up at the university again. I don't know whether I'm hoping or dreading it.

I wonder where he went after that night, or what he's doing now. Probably studying. Doctors are busy people, far too busy to keep a single promise to me. I'm not that important after all.

Gradually, I'm turning into a bitter old man.

XX

As the day dwindles, I've been feeling worse and worse, my head is pounding right now. I just want to go home and sleep. As I leave the university it's almost dark and the students have all left. Summer is over so the days are much shorter now.

"Kamijou!" Miyagi hails me from the parking lot. I walk over to him out of curiosity. He's got several plastic shopping bags with him, heavily loaded by the looks of it.

"What's this?"

"Don't you remember?" he smiles, lifting a shopping bag full of beer to my face. "You said you'd drink with me."

If I recall correctly, I said I would think about it, but whatever, it's not like there's anything better to do so I concede. He shows me to his car and I get in next to him. I've never been in his car before so this is first for me.

Time passes whilst we make small talk, though I'm not really interested in what he has to say so I just make vague replies. It occurs to me that I'm probably being rude even though he is the one going out of his way to make me feel better. I'll make it up to him tomorrow.

Miyagi's place is unexpectedly tidy for a single man, unlike my place, which is stacked so full of books and paper that every step is like walking through a mine field. He leads me to the main room but we sit on the floor instead of the couch and he unpacks the drinks.

"Here, don't hold back," he hands me a beer. There's no need to tell me that. In a few long gulps, I'm finished and he hands me another, whistling.

"Aren't you going to drink?"

"Of course. There's no fun getting drunk alone," he takes out a beer for himself, sipping it with much more restraint than me.

God, how did my life end up like this? When I was in high school, my two greatest ambitions were to get into a good university and to win Akihiko's heart. I would become a professor or a publisher, something to do with books anyway, buy a modest apartment in Tokyo, go out for drinks with old college buddies every Friday night, spend the weekends pestering Akihiko, and grumble about the boss with my co-workers. There was no Nowaki in this equation. He did not fit into my orderly, logical world, yet I'm willing to throw everything aside just so that he can have a place in it. Everything.

Well, it's over now. There's no use dwelling on it. It's over. Over, as in finished. Over, as in the end. Never happening again.

"Look at you, you're a mess," Miyagi murmurs.

"Shut up!" I snap away from my thoughts. "I don't wanna hear something like that from Mr Irresponsible head of literature!" I think I might be just slightly drunk, but if I realise I'm drunk then I must be sober.

Miyagi instantly goes into teasing-mode. "Abusing your superior! I should have you demoted," he pokes a finger at my cheek, persisting even though I keep batting him away.

"Then I'd sue you for sexual harassment! Or have you forgotten about that time you kissed me?" I retort.

"About that guy," Miyagi sighs and lowers his beer. I grow pensive at the mention of Nowaki. "You've broken up with him, right?" he asks.

"And I never want to see him again!" I snap. It feels like a lie. All I can do is lie really.

"Well! Drink up, drink up! Alcohol was made for times like this!" he heartily pats me on the back and I almost spit out the stuff in my mouth.

I take a long gulp of my beer. "Damn Nowaki!" I feel like flailing around. "Damn it, damn him! Making me feel like this! Damn, stupid brat!"

I'm restless. Too much pent up frustration. If I don't use up this energy, it might come out in tears, and I refuse to cry in front of someone twice! So I opt for anger instead of sadness; it makes you feel much better.

"You're one hell of a drunk," Miyagi mumbles into his drink but I hear him anyway and I lean over to take a pathetic, mock swing at him.

Except my fist does not connect but the world is wavering. The next thing I know, my head is spinning…and apparently I'm on top of Miyagi. My breath hitches but I don't move. Should I laugh and back down? Only, I don't think I can move right now. Please don't stare at me like that professor, it's making me nervous.

We remain silent, shocked, then Miyagi raises a hand to cup the side of my face and slowly guides me down to his lips. I don't protest, though I'm not really sure why.

"Kamijou, why don't you forget about that guy?" I hear him whisper. I wish he wouldn't switch into serious-mode so suddenly. As if you can suddenly fall out of love that fast. I wish I could forget.

I groan and try to move but he holds me there. Oh no, wait, he's not holding me, I just can't move right now.

God, this sucks. Of all people, I'm being kissed by stupid Miyagi, but I can neither bring myself to make him stop nor blame it on the drink. And I'm annoyed because I sort of like it. I like his kisses, I like the way his hands swiftly unbutton my shirt, then run down my chest. Warm hands. Nowaki had warm hands. I was right; they are a little rough.

Danger bells ring in my head. I don't want to unload all my problems on Miyagi, I don't want to use him just to make myself feel better, but what can I do? He's the one kissing me.

Miyagi looks at me sternly. "He hurt you, didn't he? You should just forget about a guy like that."

And be with him? He doesn't say that, but I guess that's what he means. I don't say anything to him. I want to forget about Nowaki as soon as possible and smother myself in whatever I can so I don't have to think about him, so I don't have to remember him at all. Wrap myself in a blanket of cotton wool, childishly fluffy, thick and pure white like snow so nothing can touch me anymore.

Miyagi looks at me patiently. He doesn't say 'I'll love you for the rest of my life' or 'I'll be with you forever.' We know that those sorts of statements are romantic garbage meant to woo naïve teenage girls. We're adults, we know better than to get involved in something so uncertain.

So he does not make promises he knows he can't keep. He doesn't ask me how I feel, he doesn't even ask the oh so important question; 'Do you still love him?' He just kisses me again.

Yet because he doesn't say those kinds of things, because he knows what to ask and when not to probe into my life, I think it's okay. A relationship where people know when to not get too involved in the other is the best.

That's why, when he kisses me, I kiss him back.

And so, the Miyagi/Hiroki relationship blooms.

In the next chapter: An appearance from Nowaki, and Shinobu barges in.