It was raining.
How did that old nursery rhyme go? It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is snoring…
That made no sense. No old man was snoring.
He wakes up, bumps his head…
Too bad. He should have watched his head.
Early in the morning…
Mornings meant nothing anymore.
It's raining, it's pouring…
Misa looked down below her.
It was a long way down.
Such.
A.
Long.
Drop.
--
Misa was five, and she was just going to her first photography shoot for the first time.
Her mom clapped and pulled her on, telling her how beautiful she was bound to look and how excited she was. "Misa may be famous one day!" she cooed, and all Misa could do was stand there and pretend to look excited. Because she was anything but excited. She wanted to throw up, actually. But she held all of this inside- mainly because she was too afraid to throw up on the cameras and stuff - and stared at the photographer as he yelled out commands like an army drill sergeant to her. Do this, stand like that! Misa, at five, could barely keep up.
Then Misa saw some guy pressed up against the back wall, watching her coolly. He looked like a Big Bad Teenager, the kind Misa's mom warned her that would want her when she became a model. Suddenly Misa felt a funny feeling in her tummy. It wasn't fright, but more…like how Daddy would feel after he won a big spot in his company. Accomplishment, almost.
The Big Bad Teenager smirked at her, and Misa smirked back. The photographer yelled out something that sounded like, "Amazing!" but she could barely hear it. She was staring at the Teenager, who was staring back at her with the same intensity she was.
What a sick, sick world it is.
--
"Mom?"
She wasn't moving.
"Dad?"
He was twitching. But not responding.
The blood. Oh, the blood. Misa bent over to puke once more. It mixed with a puddle of blood coming from her mom's head. The burglar had stolen a TV and a microwave and two lives. Misa had been hiding in a closet. Her mom had told her to. And now they're both dead.
"Dad. Wake up. It's Misa. I need you to wake up."
No response. He wasn't even twitching anymore.
"Come on guys, this isn't funny anymore." Her voice was hysteric and she knew that they were dead but she was still saying these things. And why? She knew that they were dead but she was still taking to them? What next, propping them up on a chair and moving their arms with strings? They could still be happy family even after death.
Misa bent over to puke again, but her stomach was empty.
Misa was a baby, and her parents were dead.
--
It was freezing.
Misa Misa- after gazing at her own face on a billboard for quite some time- zipped up her coat and walked through the dark streets. She had a new hat she had just gotten over her pretty hair. For some reason, the hairs on the back of her neck would not relax. They were at full attention. She shivered.
I'm just being stupid, she assured herself, looking around the dark streets. And yet…
I'm freezing. Just keep walking.
As she walked, her heels clicked on the cobblestone road. Thunder boomed from above. Misa pulled her coat tighter around her shoulders, but nothing seemed to stop. She was just so cold, so cold. Why was it so cold?
Click, clack. She couldn't walk fast enough.
Click.
It was too cold out tonight.
Clack.
Why was she so cold?
Click.
She was just overreacting…
Clack.
Walk faster!
Just as Misa stepped around a corner, thunder boomed clearly over head, and a dark shadow stepped out from behind the wall. Misa's heart stopped and her mind started spinning. She saw the glint coming from the knife in the shadow's hand. She saw how crazy the shadow's face seemed.
And as he walked faster, as he talked to her, as he confessed his love for the woman he had never talked to before, Misa felt her death nearing. It was like ten slimy fingers running up her spine, a cold and deathly breath on the back of her neck. Misa's skin crawled.
Well, this is it. I'm coming to see you, Mother. Bye, world…
But no. As the man slashed the knife, he suddenly cried out and bent over, moaning in pain. A heart attack. His heart had stopped, and Misa could not believe her luck.
Oh, Misa thought, clutching her heart, never again.
--
Misa was nineteen.
An adult, beautiful, and independent; she had it all. And yet…
"Rem, right?"
The "Shinigami" (as this thing called herself) nodded. She did not look at Misa, nor did she care to give a glance at her. She just stared at nothing as she explained the Rules of the Note to Misa, who accepted it all with wide, innocent eyes.
"So…"
This time the Shingami (Rem) decided to look at her.
"Can I have the eyes?"
"It cuts your life span in half," the Shingami warned. But Misa did not mind. Blah, blah, this all said to her. She just wanted what she wanted and she didn't need the facts.
"I don't care. I want to make the eye deal."
Rem seemed to sigh, but as Misa closed her eyes she felt a giddy feeling overcoming her body. When she opened them again, she switched her vision to look at Rem in the new light the Shingami had granted her. Everything was red. Misa grinned, but the grin was twisted and all wrong.
"Now. This is the thing Kira is using to kill all his victims, yes?'
Kira. The word sent shivers down her back. Oh, how she was fascinated by this man whose sense of justice was just so…hardcore.
Rem watched her suspiciously. What was this young girl - who one of her best friends sacrificed himself for- thinking? Did she actually like the human killer? Maybe no one should have saved her life. Maybe she would have been better off…
Rem shook her head.
"This is what Kira is using, yes."
"So I can…help him?"
"Death Notes are meant-" But Rem stopped there. Who was she to tell this girl how to use her own Death Note? Rem had given it to her and now Misa had both the Eyes and the Note. She could do what she wanted with them. But Rem knew the look in this little girl's eyes was not good, it couldn't be good.
"You are in love with this Kira." Rem's voice was raw, and she didn't bother to hide the appall in it. Wouldn't the humans be afraid of Kira? Each of them was guilty in his eyes. They should cower in corners and pray to anyone that would listen for mercy, pray that Kira didn't think they were worthy of being killed. But here was some blonde girl, standing before a Death God with her eyes sparkling, thinking about this man she had never met before. Thinking about how bad she wanted him.
"He punished the person who killed my family, Rem. He punished him and I think that He is the greatest for doing that. He is amazing. I love him, yes. And I will do anything to help him."
Rem stared, slack jawed, at this human.
--
The first time she saw him, it was like the world was set ablaze.
Everything in her body felt like it was on fire the moment Light Yagami walked by her. She noticed first thing that his was the only lifespan she couldn't see. And the way he looked- so innocent, and yet there was something intent about him- it just set her veins on fire.
It's written like "Moon" but….
She held back a squeal. Oh, how badly she wanted him now! It was like being a kid again and seeing some cute stuffed animal in the store. "Oh, Mommy, get me this, get me that!" And now she wanted a human, she wanted this Light Yagami, she wanted…
She pressed her nails into her palms and held off a moan. She would have him.
She would make sure.
--
Misa was so confused.
What am I doing in here? I'm not supposed to be in here! Why am I locked up, why am I-
"LIGHT!"
Light, oh please, oh Light, I love you Light, I need you, get me OUT-
"LIGHT, WHAT AM I DOING IN HERE?!"
She was so confused. The air smelled like tension and Death. Oh, Death. It was like that one time when the guy was about to kill her and he died and oh how scared she was, and the night that she saw her parents die by the hand of a man, and Light, how afraid she is right now and how does she get out of here and why can't she feel anything anymore and where-
Where is Light?
"Are you the second Kira?"
Kira? Her? How? That was impossible, that was-
"GET ME OUT OF HERE," she moaned. "I'm not the second Kira, I'm not the second anything. I'm Misa. I'm a famous model and I need to get out, oh it hurts so bad it hurts LIGHT!"
But he wouldn't come. Light was nowhere.
Why can't I feel my wrist or my heart and oh light where are you why aren't you here with me why can't you see how badly I'm hurting right now and ride up on your horse like I thought you would and save me from this awful torture light it HURTS.
"Do you know who Kira is?"
Oh, how stupid that voice sounded! So calm when she was hurting so bad! Even though she admitted a hundred times that she had no idea who Kira was or who the second Kira was and no, neither Light nor she had anything to do with either, even after all of that the stupid voice still asked her questions.
Misa bowed her head. Her blonde hair (now extremely dirty and greasy from the sweat covering her body) fell in front of her face, hiding her flushed cheeks. "Kill me," she whispered. "Just do it now."
--
When the memories came back to her, she felt like she was being flooded.
Light gave her a hug, but the hug felt odd. Misa felt odd. What was happening?
Did Light not love her anymore?
That was silly. Light would always and forever love her.
--
And five years later Light told her they had to be gone again. And Misa told herself that it was because he cared about her
Light cares, he always cares
But even she didn't believe that very much. Her mind said that he loved her but her heart said he was using her. Luckily, she knew how to shut her heart off.
Light will always care.
And now, where was Light?
He was never around. Always hunting for Kira. Always out. She'd heard rumors about him being with some other woman (the Kira spokeswoman, of all people) but she refused to believe it. He was just working a lot. That was it.
She hung out with her body guard and played cards. All day. She made dinner, she pranced around. And when Light did come home, she begged him for sex but he refused; Misa convinced herself he was waiting for marriage. She wanted to marry him so they could have sex, but it didn't seem like it was going to happen anytime soon.
--
Misa was 25, and she was genuinely scared.
Light.
Some pain hit her heart.
Where are you?
She wasn't sure. There wasn't any way she could be sure, she didn't-
Another pain. Something stabbing her soul.
She cried out. She threw her glass.
"Light!"
Her voice echoed in the empty room. No one was sitting on the sofa next to her, softly caressing her hand and telling her that he was just busy with work and he would get back to her soon, very soon. There was no one.
No one.
Light?
No, no light. Only darkness.
And pain.
Mom? This isn't funny anymore.
--
Misa was 26.
Matsuda had called her.
It had been Matsuda that told her Light was dead. Kira was gone. Misa didn't believe him at first but something in her soul made her believe it was true. Matsuda sounded pained. His voice was raw; he had been crying.
"I'm sorry to inform you, Misa-"
Don't say it, don't say it;
But Misa knew-
"-Light is dead. He was also Kira. He lied to all of us for so many years. He killed thousands. His father-"
Misa hung up the phone and stared at the wall. She wanted to hear nothing. She wanted to see nothing. She wanted to feel nothing. Nothing, nothing. She only wanted to see and hear and feel Light coming through the door right now, sighing and throwing his coat down.
Light?
You're dead.
--
The building was very high up.
As her own death rushed in front of her eyes, she remembered the other deaths she had experienced in her life. Mom, Dad, the man, Light. Dad, Mom, Light, the man. Light, the man, Dad, Mom. Mom Dad Mom Dad Light the man Light Mom Dad.
The cars rushed by under her feet.
Dad. Your blood still stains my fingers.
Mom. Your face wasn't calm like when we went to the spa.
The man. You wanted me dead, but you died instead. Irony.
Light.
Light, I…
I told you I'd do anything for you, and that's what I intend to do.
Your name is spelled like Moon, but it's read Light.
Misa spread her arms like they were wings and jumped off the building, gracefully flying to her death.
To Light.
--
I don't really like it, to be honest. If this seems rushed, then good. I wanted it to seem rushed because Misa killed herself, so she barely has time to reflect. Her death was quick and passionate. There are some parts of it I like and some parts that aren't very good. I like Mello's a lot better. XD
(Just another note, there are a couple really horrible run-on sentences, and I just want you readers to know that those are very intentional. Please don't review and say that I have bad grammar. :P)
Thanks for reading!