Across the burning sky

- Misaki -

XX

I think Usagi-san is a little mad at me. The reason is probably because, lately, I've been visiting Kusama-san at the flower shop so often.

I try to explain to him that I can't help it, but it's no good because I don't really understand why I always feel the need to see him either. Even when Usagi-san uses those perverted methods to try and get an answer out of me it does no good.

He's busy writing another BL novel at the moment. I don't see why he feels the need to put so much effort in to it. Whatever. As long as it doesn't have me in it, I don't care.

"Misaki-kun, the usual?" Kusama-san always smiles at me when he sees me. He's looking much better than when I met him at the coffee shop. Even the other workers have come to recognise my face.

I nod and take out my wallet. This time, I checked my bag five times on the way here to make sure that I definitely had it. Lately a piece of my salary from my part-time job has all been going to flowers. I think Usagi-san is developing a hatred for them though.

We talk about all sorts of things. Kusama-san is very patient and a very good listener, I suppose that is all part of his doctor's training; to have a good bedside manner.

Kusama-san finishes wrapping the bunch of marigolds in an orange ribbon just before it's time to close up. He hands them to me as his boss pulls down the shutters of the shop and bids us a good evening.

As soon as we're outside the sky opens up and begins to pelt us with rain. The air was cold anyway and now the whole district looks grey and dull.

The rain is cold and hard, it stings when it hits my skin. There's not a single soul outside other than Kusama-san and me, kept indoors by the heavy rain. Like this, it feels as if we're the only two people in the whole wide world.

"Oh no, I forgot to bring my umbrella!" I sigh. I'm going to be soaked to the bone before I can get back to Usagi-san's place. Then I'll have to take a shower and Usagi-san will probably try to join me. There's only one possible outcome if he decides to jump me in the shower.

Kusama-san opens the palm of his hand to catch the rain. He strangely suits this kind of weather. Maybe because he's so tall he looks like an actor in one of those tragic black and white films. I hope Kusama-san's life turns out better than that.

"You better get home quickly before you catch a cold."

I don't know what's worse; catching a cold or being attacked by Usagi-san.

"You too Kusama-san, you don't have an umbrella either."

"I'll be fine," he smiles. He probably does not care if he gets wet or not since he looks good even soaking wet anyway.

I bow as a car passes us by on the road. "Well then, until next - "

Ah.

Kusama-san looks a little shocked. "Misaki-kun? Are you okay, Misaki-kun?"

"…I'm…fine," I manage, though I can feel a sneeze building up.

I'm completely soaked! I feel like a wet rat. A wet, very muddy rat. Why do people have to drive so fast? That car totally splashed me with muddy rainwater and now I'm soaking wet! I think I can even feel my underwear dripping with water. Ugh, it feels gross!

"You're completely soaked!" he takes off my coat and drapes it over my shoulders. Whoa, it's so big on me I feel like I'm being wrapped in a huge blanket. I feel a little bad that his nice coat is going to get all muddy because of me. "Why don't you come to my apartment? It's closer and you can get dried up there," he offers.

I have no choice to accept since I can't really take the bus home in this state. I don't think the driver would even let me on when I'm dripping wet and muddy.

It's getting late though and I don't want to bother Usagi-san by making him worry about me. I left my phone at home too. Well, I'm sure I Kusama-san will let me borrow his, so I nod and follow him.

To be honest, I am just a little bit curious about what kind of place Kusama-san's house is. I'm sure it's very neat and tidy and it won't have any strange things in it like a room full of bears or toy train sets. No, Kusama-san is normal after all, if slightly cooler and much taller than your average person.

After a long stretch of silence, I decide to strike up a conversation. I don't really like silences, they make me feel awkward, especially next to someone like Kusama-san. I remember that Kusama-san was acquainted to Kamijou-sensei so maybe that's a good place to start. It's always better to talk about something you have in common with the other person.

"Kamijou-sensei's been strange lately. I think his aim has become more accurate," I rub my forehead. Yes, I'm sure it's become more accurate. "So, Kusama-san, how do you know Kamijou-sensei?"

Kusama-san's eyes flicker over me for a second then back to the road straight ahead. I don't know if he's hesitating or just trying to remember when it was but he answers only after a while. "Ah, he was my tutor several years ago. I had Hiro-san tutor me privately."

A knowing smile creeps up on his lips. What reason could anyone have to smile when they're being tutored by Kamijou-sensei?

"Seriously? How did you survive?"

"Hiro-san is not that bad!" he laughs.

Ah, that's good. For a moment there, I thought I had chosen an uncomfortable topic - it is Kamijou-sensei after all - but it seems it was just my nerves, I'm glad he can laugh.

"I admire you, Kusama-san. Calling Kamijou the devil Hiro-san, that must take guts. I don't think anyone would dare!" Again, I rub my forehead. It still stings a little.

He smiles faintly at glances at the sky. "Well I'm allowed to because I am - was - his lover," he says softly.

Eh?

Ehhhh? He says it so simply! Just like that? I know we've gotten close but…just like that?

"That can't be true! This is demon Kamijou we're talking about!"

"Hiro-san is actually very cute," he replies calmly. How can he be so calm when it's Kamijou-sensei? Demon Kamijou! How can that scary guy be cute? He's the total opposite of cute!

My brain feels like it's exploding just trying to picture a cute Kamijou-sensei. It's as impossible as trying to imagine me topping Usagi-san! I'm surprised at Kusama-san, he could so easily score a hot babe if he tried.

Actually, I don't think he would even have to try, I've seen those high school girls swoon whenever they pass him. Compared to those girls, Kamijou-sensei is…Kamijou-sensei. What's so cute about a guy like that? I was tricked! Kusama-san is not normal at all!

"Well, I'm not really his lover anymore so I guess I don't have any right to talk about him like that," he smile quickly fades into a frown, "and after I so eagerly came back from America."

Ah, it's that look again.

XX

We reach Kusama-san's apartment in silence. His place looks totally normal, there's no unnecessary mess or anything odd about it at all. It looks just like a single guy's apartment. Or, it would look just like a single guy's apartment except there are stacks of boxes full of books in the corner. Loads of them

I strip down in private and wrap a bathrobe around myself. It's Kusama-san's so of course it trails along the floor whenever I take a step. It's so big and fluffy, I kind of like it.

He takes my clothes and leaves me in the front room whilst he puts my things into wash. I sit on the couch feeling a little awkward. With exception of the books, it's an empty room with only a couch and coffee table.

I really screwed up back there. How was I supposed to know that Kusama-san was going out with Kamijou-sensei, or that he had broken up with him? It's odd though, Kusama-san doesn't seem to hate Kamijou-sensei, in fact it's the complete opposite.

I wonder if he still loves him.

Ugh, what am I thinking? I can't just ask him that! In any case, I bet, nine out ten, it was probably Kamijou-sensei's fault anyway!

Yeah, Kusama-san should just forget about a guy like that and get himself a girlfriend!

I get up and wander around the room, though there's not much to see. I wonder if Kusama-san has any books which will help me improve my grades. As I pass, my elbow brushes against a box and it topples over, books spilling onto the floor.

I'm so clumsy! I get down onto my knees and quickly shovel them back in. There's load of difficult looking books in there, most of them are fiction. Maybe Kusama-san likes reading.

Then something catches my eye. Partly covered by books there's a bag full of letters. My curiosity is too strong to resist and I pull it out from under all the books.

They're airmail, addressed to Japan from America. Well, some are anyway. Some are sealed and some are open and don't even have postage stamps or an address, just a name; Kamijou Hiroki. That's odd. Why does Kusama-san have Kamijou-sensei's mail?

I know this is going to come back and bite me in the butt some day but I take out an unsealed letter. I really shouldn't…but I can't help but read it. Just a little peek won't hurt and I'll put it back in its proper place afterwards.

Before I know it, I'm reading all the way to the bottom.

I don't think Kusama-san should get a girlfriend after all.

What have I done? First I take a letter without permission and then - but I'm such a sucker for things like this, maybe because I like Kusama-san I feel like I might cry. I wonder how they broke up. There must have been a time between the writing of this letter and the break up when they probably had a disagreement but I can't imagine it at all, Kusama-san is so kind after all.

Or maybe that kindess was not enough, just like with Usagi-san and…

"Oh, Kusama-san, I completely forgot, I need to call Usagi-san!"

"Go ahead, Misaki-kun. The phone's right there," he calls from the kitchen.

I quickly correct the box and put all the books back in. I'm so stupid, I think as I quickly dial Usagi-san's home number. I got so caught up in Kusama-san's letter that I totally forgot that I've been making Usagi-san worry!

"Usami residence," I hear Usagi-san's bored and very annoyed voice down the line.

"Ah, Usagi-san?"

"Misaki!" his tone completely shifts. "Where are you? Do you know how late it is? I wanted to call your phone but you left it here. I was just about to go looking for you!"

I knew I'd be in trouble "Sorry. I'm at Kusama-san's place right now," I apologise.

I can tell he's frowning even down the phone "Where is it? I'll come and pick you up immediately,"

"Eh? You don't have to." I want to tell him not to trouble himself, that I can always take the bus but he cuts through me before I can even speak and I have no choice but to give Kusama-san's address to him.

Half an hour and one cup of tea later, I'm sitting in my nice, dry clothes again when the doorbell rings. Repeatedly.

Usagi-san looks annoyed. He shoots a glare at Kusama-san, who stares back neutrally. After a moment of exchanging looks, he grabs my wrist and pulls me away.

"Take care Misaki-kun," I hear Kusama-san say as I'm being forcibly removed from the area.

"Y - You too, Kusama-san," I dip my head as I'm hauled outside and he smiles a little sadly.

There it is. I wonder why he has it; it really doesn't suit him. It looks out of place and odd there, something that should not belong to him.

That look is there again, that same look which means he isn't really seeing anything anymore. Well, he is seeing something, but it's something that doesn't exist anymore. Or maybe it never existed in the first place.

It hits me then. I think I know why that expression seems so familiar, I know where I've seen that look before!

It was…last year, I think. Sometime during winter after I had first met Usagi-san. It's that look, that's it! The one in the cold and the dark when the snow was falling like cotton wool and the lamp post above us kept flickering on and off and the huge shadows of moth wings kept fluttering above us.

Yes, that's where I've seen it before, because Usagi-san had that same look when he always thought about Nii-chan.

It's that soft and gentle look; like…like someone trying to keep a butterfly in their hands, I suppose; afraid of holding too hard and crushing it, scared that it will fly away, uneasy because they know they can't keep it forever. I wonder what kind of butterfly Kusama-san is trying to catch.

Ah, maybe that's wrong. Don't butterflies die when summer is over?

Maybe that was why I could not leave Kusama-san alone. He just reminded me of Usagi-san. I think, maybe, unconsciously, I saw the shadow of the old Usagi-san in him and had to do something.

But maybe I'm dwelling on it too much. Usagi-san takes my hand and drags me out of Kusama-san's apartment. I can tell from the way he squeezes my hand that he must be in a really bad mood.

We get to his car and I realise that I've still got one of the letters he never sent to Kamijou-sensei. This is bad, isn't it? Would this be considered theft? Could I go to jail for this? Well, I didn't mean to take it, I just forgot that I had it and Kusama-san probably did not notice it amongst all my books and university stuff.

I want to return it right away but Usagi-san isn't really all that accommodating when he's in these kind of moods so I decide not to say anything. I'll wait for a better time.

He drags me to his car and opens the door. "Get in," he says roughly, pushing me into the front passenger's seat, slamming the door behind him as he gets in and revs up the engine.

"U - Usagi-san! What are you mad about Usagi-san?"

His mood is starting to rub off on me. Even I'm beginning to feel a little irritable now. After all, I didn't do anything wrong but Usagi-san's treating it as if he's caught me making out with another guy!

"What am I mad about?" Yes this is definitely bad. His tone is way too low and scary for it to be good! "Do you have any idea what time it is? Or how worried I was? I even called that Sumi brat but he didn't know where you were. I thought something might have happened to you!"

I wish everyone would stop treating me like a kid who needs to have his hand held all the time. Even Nii-chan still treats me like I'm eight!

Yet Usagi-san shoots down all my irritation with a single, piercing look. Did I ever mention that he can be really scary? Like now, I think I can feel the waves of death flowing off of him!

"Why did you go see that guy? Do you like him or something?" he demands. Uh, Usagi-san, please don't drive so fast.

"A -are you jealous?" I ask. "I like Kusama-san. I can't leave him alone." Perhaps that was the wrong way to put it. I didn't mean it like that but he frowns as if I've just confessed my love for the guy.

"Enough!" he sighs, rubbing his fingers against his forehead in pain. "Just stop seeing that guy already!"

What the hell? I know Usagi-san is sort of possessive but he can't control my life. "But I only went with him because he sort of reminded me of you!" I yell. Stupid Usagi!

"…What?" Usagi-san stares at me. Now I really think he'll crash. Pay attention to the road, Usagi-san! The road!

"Well, he's not really like you but, well, it's that look he gets sometimes. You know, like he's unable to get something he really wants, or he's afraid of what will happen if he tries to get it. It sorta reminded me, kinda, about how you were Usagi-san when you liked Nii-chan."

I feel stupid

"So…so, when I saw that look on his face, I thought; 'maybe he's in pain like Usagi-san was' and then I couldn't really leave him alone 'cause if it was you I wouldn't…leave you…alone…" I trail away pathetically. Ah, I think I've just said something totally and completely embarrassing back there!

Usagi-san pulls over at the side of some road in some district I don't recognise. It's too dark to see even though the street lights create yellow pools of light.

"Misaki," I hear him call. I turn and find my lips currently engaged by his.

U - Usagi-san!" I pull back. Why does he always do this so suddenly?

Ah, but experience has told me that Usagi-san always gets his way with things like this, so I put up a little resistance, struggle and then submit to his kisses and his large hands running under my shirt.

I think these clothes will need to go into the wash again.

This was quite a long chapter, I think. In the next chapter though, we finally get Nowaki's POV. Please look forward to it!