Memories flooded into John Paul's mind as he walked into the house he had shared with Craig for ten years.

Craig and John Paul lounging on their couch watching some show.

John Paul and Craig going to a Dean family Christmas dinner. John Paul being hugged by Frankie for the first time as she whispered in his ear, "I'm glad he chose you."

Inez, Damien, and Lola over for dinner sans significant others. How it suddenly felt like old times when they would sit around that uneven table in the kitchen for hours just talking and laughing.

A McQueen family Christmas dinner where Craig got bombarded with hugs and was forced to listen to 3 McQueen daughters ask him about his opinions on their love lives, as if they wanted him to be the gay man their brother never could be, as John Paul, Jacqui, and Myra sat and talked about Dublin, school, and Tina-who they still terribly missed.

Craig getting the call that the cancer had come back, after so long, and John Paul holding him in his arms as he cried all night long whispering encouraging words of how they were going to beat this even though he knew, deep down, they wouldn't.

He couldn't do this. He couldn't. There was no way he could stand in the house they had put together without him. He turned to walk out the door.

"John Paul!" Inez said grabbing hold to his arm, "what are you doing?!"

"Let him go Inez" Damien said quietly.

"I- I have to go!" He yelled. Inez, shocked at his sudden anger, let go and stepped aside and John Paul ran and ran to get to the one place where he knew he could feel safe.

September 19, 2008

"So. How did you know who I was?" John Paul asked turning to Damien. Craig had finally gotten up from the sofa and walked into the kitchen. While Craig whistled and prepared his meal, John Paul waited for an answer.

"You're rather impatient aren't you? Well…to be honest, you were quite the topic of conversation this past year. I don't know if I should be telling you this but…" Craig walked into the room with lager and a sandwich humming some sort of indecipherable tune. "…and that is why I think the British are shit at football." Craig still humming his little tune sat down of the sofa and rearranged himself so that he was partially on John Paul, partially on the couch, and partially on the small table in front. His plate resting on his torso, he grabbed his sandwich and took a bite.

"Comfy?" John Paul asked kissing Craig's forehead.

"Mmhmm." Craig glanced over towards Damien. "Stop gawkin' Reilly. And don't say the British are shit at football! They could beat Ireland any day."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah! Go back to throwing large... stones … and milking cows and leave the real games to us!"

"You really don't know anything about the Irish do you?"

This kind of talk continued for most of the evening until…

Craig yawned, shifted on John Paul, and closed his eyes. John Paul, realizing this was his opportunity, shook Craig awake. "I think it's your bedtime."

Craig stood up and began to stumble towards his bedroom. After a few steps he realized something was missing and turned around reaching to grab John Paul's hand. John Paul, who was sitting on the couch, had no intention on moving and couldn't help giggling at Craig's attempts to pull him off the couch. "You go without me. I'm not tired yet."

"But I want YOU to come with me!" He leaned forward. "I haven't snuggled with you in over a year!" He said thinking he was being quiet.

"I'll be there soon." This worked and Craig walked out of the room.

"Craig Dean a snuggler! Who'd a thought?" Damien said laughing. When he was met with a serious look from John Paul, he stopped laughing and began his story. "Craig came to this house a year ago and he spent the first two weeks crying over you. It took us two months to get him to go out for something other than classes or groceries."

"When did he tell you about me?"

"First night..."

"What! He couldn't kiss me in the airport but he could tell you his entire life story the night he met you?!" John Paul was suddenly mad.

"Let me finish John Paul."

"…So this John Paul. You really love him right?" Damien sat on the armchair looking at Craig, his new roommate. He only knew him three hours and he already knew the story of Sarah and John Paul.

"Yeah… What do I do?" Craig's face was wet with tears. He had tried so hard not to cry in front of his new roommates but this was easier said than done. Everything he saw reminded him that he was a coward, that John Paul wasn't meeting this people because Craig had been such a coward.

"I'd say you better give him some space. Leave him alone a little bit. See if after a few weeks or so he's ready. If you're ready. You kind of jumped into this whole thing and I think it'd be best if you two were apart for a while."

"That's really all I can tell you. He only talked about you once or twice more but it was easy to tell that he was unhappy. He rarely left the house in the first few months here. He didn't make a lot of friends. Lola is really impatient and couldn't really deal with him. Inez and I were really his only friends for most of the year."

All his anger was gone and once again he was left with a feeling of regret. Damien stood up to leave as well saying he was tired.

"Wait! One more thing. Craig mentioned a girl…"

"Girl? What girl?"

"A girl. Someone he was dating."

"The only girls he spent time with were mates. You must be talking about Patrick."

"Patrick?"

"Yeah. Craig's ex. They dated for a few months before he went back to Hollyoaks."

Suddenly all that anger that had left him was back. "He dated another guy! Publicly?!"

"Hey Hey Wait! You two were broken up! It's not like he's not allowed to date anyone else! You did!"

"But, I never expected him to date another bloke. He always said it was just me. I was the only one he fancied."

"He was lonely. Could you blame him?" He began to walk away, as he reached the doorframe he turned around, "Now that I think of it…he looked a lot like you."

Suddenly John Paul understood.

He stood up and walked into Craig's room and climbed into bed with him. Craig stirred, opened his eyes slightly, and smiled when he saw John Paul. "I knew you…" He yawned. "couldn't resist m-" His voice cut off as his eyes closed. John Paul shook him awake.

"Listen, Craig I've got something important to tell you."

Craig looked at him expectedly. "I love you."

"Why did you wake me up to tell me that?"

"Because…I had to tell you."

"Why?"

"Just because." Craig smiled, shut his eyes, and shifted towards John Paul. Putting his head on John Paul's chest, Craig sighed contently and fell asleep. Still fully clothed John Paul decided not to change. He decided that one uncomfortable night of sleeping was definitely worth it if it got to be with Craig.

--

Hey guys- sorry it took so long. I actually wrote this a couple weeks ago but never got around to uploading it.

If you're following Alone- expect an update within the week.

Chapter 3 coming soon! Keep reading

Sam