A quick update this time. Thanks to everyone for their comments.

Break the fragile heart

- Miyagi -

XX

I snuff out my fifth cigarette and lean against the back of the couch, staring blankly at the ceiling when the door suddenly clicks open and my personal terrorist walks in.

"You're not at work?" he looks surprised to see me.

I pull myself up far enough to reach for an ashtray to snuff out my half-smoked cigarette. "I have the day off today. Kamijou's taking care of the office," I say as I grind it into the tray, probably with more force than necessary.

I really can't understand Kamijou sometimes. I know it's his natural defence mechanism to be flustered or annoyed to cover up his embarrassment, but he does it so often! I haven't seen him a lot lately but I doubt I would confront him about it though.

Shinobu's expression turns sour at the mention of Kamijou's name. He marches to the cabinet where his things are stored and pulls out a grey bag.

"What are you here for?"

"I just wanted to pick up some stuff I left here," he says defensively, as if it's a crime to come into the house, even though I was the one who gave him the spare key. I wonder if staying around my place was all the Dean's idea or if Shinobu had something to do with it.

My head turns to look at him curiously. "Don't you have school?"

"I'm going in a minute," he says, a little irritably, I might add. He's been in an irritable mood for some time. Aren't kids supposed to smile more?

Just when I think he has nothing more to say he suddenly looks at me and asks; "What do you see in that guy anyway?"

The question is so sudden and out of the blue that it takes a moment to register in my brain. All I can manage is a dumb sort of; "Huh?"

"He looks flakey. He doesn't seem like the kind of person you'd fall for."

Ah, he's talking about Kamijou.

"He doesn't have boobs, if that's what you mean."

His expression darkens at this whilst I try not to smile. Well, I do like women.

I think I probably would be laughed at if I told anyone but, despite appearances, I consider myself an old-fashioned type. The 'let me pull out a chair for you, hold the door open for you' type. A guy who's easily suckered in just by the sight of a woman's tears.

What is it about cute, crying girls? Kamijou's no girl but even he -

Ah, but Shinobu keeps frowning. His glare can really spoil your concentration when you're tying to ponder life's many intricacies.

"I don't know. Don't be so concerned about it," I give up trying to think and reach for another cigarette. Goodbye, enlightenment!

"But it doesn't even look like you're interested," he continues to protest. Honestly, what makes him so adamant about me? What makes him so serious about me? Nothing like this has ever happened before. How am I supposed to deal with it?

"With Kamijou?" I mutter, searching for my lighter. "I don't know. I haven't seen him too often except at work when we're busy. Well, adult relationships are like that sometimes."

"You're being awfully casual about it," he mumbles, leaving traces of bitterness in the air.

It's infectious. When I reply; "Not everyone goes around spouting about love as passionately as you do," it comes out a little snappier than I intended.

"When do I ever do that?" he demands. "Besides, I don't do it to everyone, only to you!"

Why won't he stop? Only you, only you; it's the same thing over and over again. Only you, only you...

"Ah, you see, I was wondering about that," I say. "Well, why me? I mean, before I married your sister, we only met that one time. You can't really call something like that Fate."

He suddenly looks up, surprised. For a moment, his face is completely unguarded, completely honest. He looks like a little kid. Then it's over and he swiftly looks at the ground.

"You…don't remember?" he speaks tentatively. Remember what? "We met before that, remember?"

"No, when did we - "

The sound of the phone cuts through my question. I don't know if I'm annoyed by it or relieved, but I get up an answer it whilst Shinobu stares as though he's never seen a phone before.

"Hello? Oh, Kamijou, speak of the devil!" No pun intended there. Honest.

"Were you talking about me behind my back, professor?" Kamijou's voice cracks down the phone, washed over by intermittent static.

"What? How cruel! Here I was thinking what my dear Kamijou was doing all by himself and you go and accuse me of something like that!"

"Yeah right, you frivolous liar!" Kamijou's voice snaps sourly.

"So? What do you need?" I ask quickly before the force of Shinobu's stare can intensify.

There's a pause. He's probably fidgeting a little. Even though I'm his damn superior and he's supposed to rely on me, Kamijou's great, big, whopping pride doesn't allow him to ask for favours easily.

"Actually, I was wondering if you could give me a lift," he finally chokes out. "The other shipment came in earlier than expected and I'm the only one who can pick it up. There's a load of books, I think I'll need your car."

"The car again, huh?" I mumble thoughtfully, though there really isn't anything to think about. "The usual bookshop right? Okay, I'll be there soon."

"What was that?" Shinobu asks as I hang up.

"I need to go."

"You're meeting him? I thought he was at work."

"It is for work. I'm helping him with some books," I answer as I shrug on my coat and fish out the car keys.

"I'll go with you!" he suddenly offers. A bit too keenly for my liking. I can just imagine what sort of trouble will happen if Shinobu and Kamijou ride in the back of the car together, the back of my car, at that.

"Forget it, I'm not on a love cruise." I don't think I've ever been on a love cruise, actually. "It's work! Work! Besides, don't you have school?"

At this little reminder, he suddenly checks his watch and his eyes widen. For some reason, I end up wondering who he inherited those blue eyes from. The mother probably, I don't want to think of him growing up to look like the Dean. No, no thank you!

"Ah, I'll be late!" he gasps, suddenly swinging his bag over his shoulder wide enough to almost knock my head off.

"There's no choice, I guess. I'll give you a lift, okay?" I say as if we're taking part in a trade off.

"I can help you instead," he offers.

"School is more important," I reply, which is true anyway.

Amazingly, he doesn't argue with me. Small mercies, eh? Though it's not his first time riding with me, he waits for me to tell him to get in before throws his bag onto one of the seats, slides into the back, and straps himself in.

Ah, he can talk for ages about something he's passionate about but now he's silent? Am I the only one feeling awkward here? It's driving me crazy!

"So, uh, Shinobu-chin, how's school?" I ask, feigning cheerfulness. Glancing at him in the rear view mirror, I see him staring out of the window.

"The usual," he sighs in that bored monotone, which usually means he's not interested in making conversation, or he's thinking about something else at the moment.

"Have you thought about what you're going to do after school?"

"I want to attend university, of course. Literature, probably," he replies in the same tone. Though I'm supposed to be paying attention to the road, I can't help but slip a glance back at him.

This muted kind of behaviour is worse than when he's being pushy and obstinate. I wish he was pushy and obstinate and demanding my attention, yelling at me to take him with me or else.

And my breath hitches when I realise that I don't know why.

XX

Our awkward conversation carries on back and forth until I finally drop him off. As I drive away, I suddenly remember that I never found out if we had ever met before that incident with those thugs.

It feels as if I should know, but I can't put my finger on it. Well, if I can't remember then it couldn't have been all that important.

Yet I wonder why it feels otherwise.

"What took you so long?" Kamijou has a hand on his hip, frowning impatiently, as I finally pull up outside the shop.

"Trouble with a terrorist," I shrug then, looking at the stack of boxes surrounding him, ask; "Is this all of them?"

"I just need to take them to university and then I'm done for the day," he nods. We divide the boxes between us and take it in turns hauling them into the boot. The people who pass along the road stare at us, probably wondering what the heck we're doing.

"Really? Wanna go out for drinks afterwards?" I ask hopefully. It's been so long since I've been alone with Kamijou, with exception of work of course, that I would like to spend some time catching up. Ah, who am I kidding? I just want a drinking buddy. Kamijou's a great drinking buddy when he's not depressed; he spills all sorts of embarrassing secrets.

Even so, we should probably spend more time together, right? Except, we're such busy people and work is much more important.

"Actually…" he struggles to ask me for a favour again. "Could you drop these off for me? There are some bookshops here I want to check out."

"Books again huh? Is this some weird fetish?" I smile and flick his nose, or I try to at least but he anticipates this and quickly steps back.

"You can refuse - "

I shake my head. "No, no, I'll do it. I've got nothing better to do. I expect you to pay me back though!"

"What do you want?" Kamijou looks as though he's about to step on a mine. Rightly so, I plan on extorting all I can from this little favour.

"Oh, I'll think of something," I reply enigmatically, because I know that he'll be thinking the worse if I do. "I'll think of something," I repeat as I fling my arms around him.

"Don't be so affectionate when you're not really in the mood!" he growls, batting me away. I don't know why this annoys me a little. He always used to bat me away whenever I teased him and I never thought twice about it. Why does it annoy me now?

"If I wasn't so affectionate you'd shrivel up and die. Trying to get you to show some emotion is apart from anger or annoyance is like trying to get blood from a rock."

The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. I already know, in half a second, that I really should not have said anything.

Kamijou bristles angrily and snaps, "I - I'm just honest about my feelings! Unlike the irresponsible liar you are!"

"Honest, that's a new one," I can't help but snort.

His temper flares but he manages to keep it under control and places a hand on his hip. "Are you going to take the books or not?"

It's slightly embarrassing to be bickering in public, especially since we're both adults who should know better. Trying to diffuse this situation, I snap back into playful mode "I'm taking them! Don't worry, Demon Kamijou!" I grin but this isn't enough to satisfy him.

"Miyagi," he sighs, suddenly looking very tired. My eyes are forced to the floor. I can't look at this tired Kamijou. "I can't tell if you're ever being sincere or not. Are you serious or just teasing me?"

"If I'm serious all the time I'll get wrinkles like you, Ka - mi - jou!"

"Miyagi!" he snaps angrily. "Honestly, I'm not a stupid mind-reader! I - " The anger suddenly drains from his face, replaced by this weird, muted behaviour. "...Nevermind," he sighs, shaking his head. "Forget it. Thanks for taking the books back."

I nod and return to the car. I'm not a mind reader. He's right. I know he's right, and yet I could return those sentiments tenfold. The one who never says anything, the one who keeps hiding his feelings to spare his pride is you, Kamijou.

XX

I want to go straight home but, as I finish dropping off the last of the boxes in our office, The Dean catches me in the hallway.

"Ah, Miyagi, how is Shinobu? He's not causing you problems is he?"

Of course he is, I want to reply. I want to say, what makes a guy believe that he's in love with a man seventeen years older than him? But I can't say that so I simply shake my head. "No, no he's fine. He's quite a…passionate young man."

Passionate is certainly one word you could use.

"I've been wondering if he plans to stay in Japan or return to Australia. Has he said anything to you?"

"Sorry sir?" I suddenly realise that he's been talking and I haven't been listening at all.

"What do you think?" he prompts.

"About what?" I, embarrassingly, am forced to ask.

He does not seem to mind, though. Ever since breaking up with Risako, the Dean has always been unusually nice to me.

"About Shinobu. Do you think he should go to a Japanese university or do you think it would be better for him to continue studying abroad?" He asks, keen to get my opinion on the matter, but I really don't have any advice to give.

"Uh, well, I suppose that's for him to decide."

He doesn't look too pleased with this answer as he sighs. All the little problems in his life have left deep wrinkles under his eyes and his son is helping to add to the collection. "I'm not a mind reader! If that boy would only tell me what he was thinking, I would not have these worries!"

His complaint strikes a chord with me. 'I'm not a mind reader,' Kamijou said.

The Dean's offhand comment leaves me feeling sober. I wonder why it's so hard to talk. I mean, really talk. Outside the bookshop with Kamijou, in the car with Shinobu; I keep teasing and making pointless conversation in order to avoid the things that matter. It's sort of pathetic really, all this talking in circles.

Ahh, what am I thinking? I'm not a mind reader, how am I supposed to know what to do?

Thanks for reading! All this is setting up for what happens next; a Misaki POV two part special. Hiroki and Shinobu get some time to talk and Usagi proves how much his logic fails. Please look forward to it!