All the tests Julia ran were inconclusive, giving her no real clue about the cause of the pilot's lost sight. The young doctor approached her patient wondering how to break the news that his blindness might be self- induced.

"Alonzo. I've run a whole series of tests trying to come up with a reason for what has happened. I afraid some answers will come only with time. If it's a side-effect due to medication, there should be a gradual improvement when your system is clear of drugs. There is one other thing I want you to consider."

"What's that?"

"It's possible what you are experiencing is a symptom of post traumatic stress."

"What does that mean?"

She explained the condition to him.

"So you're saying it's all in my mind. I only think I'm blind. That's crazy."

"Anyone who went through what you did couldn't help but be traumatized. Aside from your body, your psyche has been wounded. It might be trying to find a way to protect itself."

"Great. My psyche protects itself by leaving me helpless. And just how am I supposed to protect myself in the meantime?"

"You need to be patient. Give your mind a chance to accept this as a possible reason."

"Okay, I accept it. I'm waiting. Nothing's happening."

"It doesn't happen that fast."

"When? When does it happen? How long do I have to wait?"

"I can't tell you. No one has ever gone through what you have. Besides, it would affect each individual differently."

"I'm sure it's all very interesting to you. Your own private case study. Forgive me doctor if I'm not buying into it. You know what I really believe? That you don't know everything. The things that happen on this planet are beyond anything you ever learned from medical books. All these reasons -- you're guessing, Julia. Admit it."

"What I'm suggesting is based on fact. Every human being follows predictable emotional responses in dealing with a loss. A set pattern of feelings: denial, anger, guilt, acceptance... You've experienced a loss."

"Spare me. I'm not interested."

"You're angry which means you've moved past denial."

He laughed ruefully. "Denial didn't seem to work somehow."

"Neither will anger but you need to experience and work through it."

"So you're saying when I get past all these different emotions and get to the point where I accept the fact that I'm blind, I'll get my sight back?"

"I don't know for sure if it is PTS, but if it is, you would need to accept that you're own mind might be causing the problem, that it was so traumatized, it might shut down what it can't deal with. I'm just mentioning it because it's one of several possibilities I think you should consider. In the meantime, I'll keep looking for an answer and we'll continue to work on healing your physical wounds."

He jumped when she touched him.

"Let me know when you going to touch me, all right?"

"Sorry. I'm going to put a new ointment on your burns. After that, we'll try to increase your range of motion."

"Wonderful. I guess I have to learn to accept that, too."

"If you want to get better, I'm afraid so."

She worked with him, then let him rest until dinner. Feeding him proved to be an ordeal. After a few mouthfuls, he grew hostile, reminded again of a new dependence.

"I'm not hungry."

"You've barely eaten anything. You're body needs sustenance to repair itself."

"I can't eat if I'm not hungry."

"If you rather have the feeding tube back, I can arrange it."

"You can do anything you want to me, I don't seem to have much choice in the matter."

He caught her sigh and grew angry.

"Do you think I like being like this, totally dependent on you again? At least before, I could drag myself to the ATV and get away from you for awhile."

"If it's me that is bothering you, I can have Yale in to take care of you."

He swung his hand wildly, knocking things over, wincing at the pain.

"You just don't get it, do you? I don't want anyone taking care of me."

"Hello. I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" Bess Morgan announced herself before entering, her voice full of sweetness.

There was an awkward silence. Bess couldn't help but smile as she noticed Alonzo trying to cover himself. Obviously Julia hadn't told him that she and Yale had been involved with his care.

"Danziger has Morgan on guard duty tonight. We slept most of the day. I thought I might come up and give you a break. I'll be glad to sit with Alonzo if you want to get some sleep."

"I don't need anyone to sit with me."

"Of course you don't, but Julia will rest easier if she knows someone is here with you, to keep you company. Isn't that right, Julia? "

Julia smiled. "Thank you, Bess. I think I'm just realizing how tired I am."

Tired of me, no doubt, Alonzo thought. Now she's getting even by sticking me with Bess Martin all night. He heard the crinkle of heavy plastic as someone left.

Morgan's wife moved close to him. Her tone was soft yet confidential. "You know, I don't think many of us realize how hard Julia works. Why, since this all happened, she's barely moved from your side. She was so sick and yet she drove herself to the point of collapse trying to find a way to save you."

Alonzo slumped. "Are you trying to make me feel bad, Bess?"

"Now why would I be doing that, Alonzo? I'm sure you feel bad enough as it is already."

ooo

Across camp, Morgan shouldered the heavy Mag-Pro. He hated guard duty. His ears and nerves were too sensitive to all the strange noises of the night. He paced a distance from the perimeter alert's laser beams. No sense getting too close. The thing was dangerous. A noise in the darkness, beyond the cross beams, sent him stumbling backward, aiming wildly. A night bird hooted in a nearby tree. His heart raced as his breathing came in gasps. Morgan put his back against a large tree and slid down, trying to make himself as small as possible. It was going to be a long night.

Sometime, during the same long night, Julia woke to the sound of voices. Bess and Alonzo's muffled tones reached her. Alonzo seemed to be questioning Morgan's wife about something. Julia tried to listen but ended up drifting off. She woke with dawn's first light. Wrapping the blanket around her, she rose and hesitated outside Alonzo's room. All was quiet inside. She ducked in. Bess raised her finger to her lips in a silencing gesture. Alonzo was asleep.

Morgan's wife rose from the chair beside his bed and, taking the other woman's arm, led the doctor out. In a whispered voice, she said, "I hope our conversation didn't keep you awake last night. We tried to keep it low."

"No. I slept well. I'm surprised you got him to talk at all with the mood he was in. What did you talk about?"

""He was telling me about your theory on post traumatic stress, you know, how it might be responsible for his blindness."

Julia's eyebrows arched with surprise. Bess went on, "So I told him the same type of thing happened in the mine my father worked in. One of the miners was blinded by a black powder flash, only he wasn't really blind, he just thought he was. His sight came back in a few days after he accepted the doctor's word that there was really no damage to his eyes."

"Really?" Julia was surprised.

"No, not really. I made it up." Bess answered.

Aghast, Julia's mouth fell open. "Bess, you lied to him?"

"Well, it wasn't a bad lie, just a little white one. Julia, he has to believe it's possible. I don't think you were getting that across somehow. Anyway, he seemed to feel a lot better and went to sleep."

"Oh, no." Julia groaned. Trust was based on the truth. How could she look Alonzo in the face knowing he might base his hope of recovery on a lie.

"Julia, I have to go. I told Morgan I'd meet him for breakfast when he came off duty."

"Sure, go ahead." The damage is already done, Julia thought.

Seeing the doctor seemed worried, Bess patted her on the arm. "Don't worry, he'll be fine. I have a good feeling about this."

Bess noticed Julia gave her that funny, closed mouthed smile of hers. The one which looked more pained than happy. Well, there was no time to wonder about it now, Morgan was waiting.

Only after Bess left, did Julia sigh heavily and slump against the table.

Morgan sat with his back against a tree, snoring soundly, the Mag-Pro draped across his lap.

"Morgan!"

The bureaucrat jumped, banging his head against the timber's trunk. His wife heart-shaped face peered back at him.

"Good grief, Bess. Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

"Just be thankful it was me who caught you sleeping, Morgan."

"I wasn't sleeping. I was just resting my eyes." He gave her a sidelong glance to see if she bought it.

"Un-huh!" She didn't.

"Well....guard duty is very draining. My nerves are frazzled. Noises seem more threatening in the dark. Have you ever noticed that, Bess?"

"Things that go bump in the night?"

"Exactly. I knew you'd understand. Last night was terrible. I kept hearing these sinister sounds just beyond the perimeter light."

Bess glanced anxiously in the direction he indicted. "Maybe you should have reported it."

"No, they just laugh at me. Tell me it's all in my head. I don't know, Bess, maybe it is. I'm just not cut out for this kind of work." he whined.

Magus strolled up to the husband and wife. "I'm here to replace you, Martin."

Morgan eagerly handed her the Mag-Pro and began to drag his wife away. "Thank you. Thank you."

She looked surprised. "You're welcome. What's the big hurry?"

"Morgan had a rough night. He heard some strange sounds in the dark, last night." Bess explained.

"Really? What kind of sounds?" Magus began scanning the bushes and trees suspiciously.

"If I knew what kinds of sounds they were, they wouldn't be strange would they?" Morgan grumbled.

"Oh. I guess not. Anyway, after you're done eating, Danziger wants you to start packing up. We're leaving first light tomorrow morning." She yelled after the retreating couple.

Danziger was on gear reminding Julia of the same thing. She agreed to pack up whatever she didn't need and leave it outside for Baines. The young technician would be responsible for loading it in the TransRover. Yale brought food up to the tent and inquired about the pilot.

Julia brought him up to date. "Alonzo's physical wounds are healing well enough. Travel will be rough for him but not impossible. I haven't come up with a reason that explains the blindness. His eyes are continuing to react to light and accommodation normally."

What about this idea of yours that it might be psychosomatic?"

"It only an idea, nothing that should carry any more weight than any of the other causes I suggested. I certainly don't want anyone suggesting that it's only a matter of a few days before it resolves itself as Bess did last night."

"I'm sure she didn't mean to cause a problem."

"I know. It's just that he doesn't need another set-back."

"If you'd like, I could talk to him later. Perhaps pull up some library files for questions he might have."

"That would be helpful. Thank you, Yale."

"I'll be back later. I have to go over Devon's maps with John to find the safest route away from here."

"Do you think there will be trouble?"

"I'm not sure but I think you have enough on your mind without worrying about this, too."

"You're right. I'm going to get back to work."

Yale left Julia and went in search of Danziger. He found the mechanic fine-tuning ZERO.

"I've been using his heat-sensitive ability to see in the dark. Trouble is he can only pick up one direction at a time. Still, it's better than nothing."

"John, I was just speaking with Julia about the possibility of trouble. If you think an attack is likely, perhaps she should be prepared to treat injuries."

"I have the camp on full alert, day and night. Guards, electronic surveillance, whatever we got. Nothing's happened. I keep having this feeling we're being watched, that they're looking for the weakness in our armor. If they are watching us, they'll see we're packing up. If they are going to try anything, it will have to be soon, they're running out of time. Tell Julia to be ready, just in case."

"What about our route? Do you want to go over the maps now?"

"Yea, I'm done here. ZERO, resume patrol around the Medical Tent."

"Yes, sir! My functions are at full operating capacity."

"Glad to hear it."

They watched the robot march off in the direction of Julia's tent before turning toward the difficult job of trying to make sense out of G889's topographical maps.

Meanwhile, Julia was having trouble with her own scientific data. Perhaps Alonzo was right, that medicine as she knew it had no relevance on this planet. She tried to imagine Dr. Vasquez's reaction to her use of maggots to eradicate infection. The picture was very unsettling. Julia strapped on her diaglove. It was time to update Alonzo's chart with new readings. The diagnostic tool was still a comforting old friend, one the doctor could rely on, in what was a strange and hostile world.

The pilot lay still.

The doctor knew he was awake, so she asked, "How are you feeling today?"

"Nothing's changed." He said, more sad than bitter.

"Alonzo, Bess told me a little of your conversation last night."

Julia wondered how to repair the damage and found herself at a loss on how to continue.

"I hope you don't think I believed that story of hers."

Julia was relieved yet distressed by his apparent cynicism. "I did." She answered simply. "Now, I have to do an extensive check to see how you're healing. We're leaving tomorrow. Danziger rigged something to keep you clean and comfortable in the TransRover but I want to dress those areas that still need protection."

"Is that why we've been here so long? Because of me?"

"Nothing that's happened has been because of you. Those men were the ones who set events in motion. They were waiting for someone to attack. Walman should have been their victim. Don't think he hasn't thought about how his luck turned into your misfortune."

"I don't want to be a burden to anyone."

"Stop it. I don't want to hear you talk like that. If this had happened to Bess, Danziger or Yale would you have thought of them as a burden?" Not waiting for his answer, she went on. "No, you'd be doing whatever you could to help them and feel good about it, just as they are. Each of them knows they could have easily been in your place."

Alonzo was quiet. She hoped he was thinking about what she said and not giving in to self pity. She began her examination, concentrating her efforts on making him fit for travel. Occasionally, the doctor studied the pilot's face trying to read his thoughts.

Despite his inactivity, his body retained its superb form, resembling some ancient Greek sculpture. The bruises and cuts on his face had faded but the pained expression remained, giving him the aura of a tragic hero.

Alonzo found himself on the brink of a deep depression, hopelessness was an open chasm before him. Julia seemed distant, remaining cold and clinical as she worked on him. The pilot wondered if everything had irrevocably changed between them since he felt no reaction to her closeness or her touch. Worst of all, he could not hide his lack of feeling from her.

In the camp, tension mounted with the waning day. The flurry of activity, packing and securing the area for the night became increasingly frantic as time slipped away and so much more needed to be done.

Julia let Yale take over as she went to examine Danziger's contraption. She was impressed by his creativity. The man certainly had a gift with machinery, able to transform metal into a protective capsule for her patient that swayed and moved with the vehicle while absorbing the shock of the rough road.

"What do you think?" The mechanic was worried. There was not a lot of time to make corrections.

"It's fine." The doctor reassured him.

"Are you sure? I can change anything you don't like."

"No, that's not necessary. It will serve the purpose. It's much more than I expected."

"That's a relief."

"I'm sorry it took me so long to get out here and examine it."

"It's all right. How's Alonzo doing?" He felt awkward with her, knowing what her feelings were for the pilot.

"He's healing well considering everything."

Danziger pressed her. "How's he dealing with being blind?"

"He's withdrawn, depressed but that's to be expected. He'll learn to deal with it in time. At least, I'm hoping he will." She looked him in the eye then, having laid her cards on the table.

Danziger dropped his eyes. He didn't think that sounded too good. He wished people were as easy to repair as machines. In a way, Julia and he were in the same business, fixing what got broken along their way to New Pacifica. Only her job was much harder, machines didn't care one way or the other if you screwed up. He didn't envy the doctor a bit.

"You got anything left to pack?"

Julia looked at the remains of the camp from the height of the TransRover. Only her tent remained standing.

"The tent, two cots and the heavy metal crate I keep the medical supplies in. Where is everyone sleeping tonight?"

"Just about everyone will be on guard duty. I'm putting the kids in the front of the TransRover."

"You're that worried?"

"Let's just say I'd rather be safe than sorry. Tomorrow we can all pitch in and make short work of packing your tent. I figured one more good night in a soft bed wouldn't hurt 'Lonz any."

"I appreciate that." She jumped down and started back.

"Julia!" Danziger called after her.

She turned shielding her eyes against a setting sun-glare and looked up. His imposing form blocked the fiery orb and framed him in sunlight.

"Stay alert for trouble tonight."

"Sure."

The doctor stopped at the table where a hurried dinner was prepared. She picked up meals for Yale, Alonzo and herself. She entered the tent and found Yale sitting on her cot. He greeted her by raising his eyebrows and shrugging. Obviously his attempt to help the pilot hadn't gone well and he decided this was the best way of communicating it to Julia so Alonzo wouldn't overhear. She continued the facade.

"I brought us all back dinner." She handed Yale a plate.

"Thank you but I still have a few things to go over with Danziger. If you don't mind, I'll leave you two to enjoy yours."

"Okay. Thanks for staying with him Yale. I'll see you later."

She took dinner to her patient.

"Are you ready for something to eat.? I'm afraid it's just some quick porridge tonight."

"That's fine. Just hand me the bowl."

Julia was taken aback. She had intended to feed it to him. "It's hot. I'm afraid you might spill some on yourself."

"I'll be careful. I don't need to be spoonfed like an infant."

She handed it over carefully, trying to guide it into his hands. The pilot jerked his hand as he unwittingly stuck a finger into the steaming mush. Julia tried to take it back, only to have him try to pull it away from her. They engaged in a silent tug of war for a few seconds. Finally, Julia gave up rather than cause an accident.

Alonzo hugged the bowl to his chest. Julia stared at him waiting to see if he could manage.

"Are you going to stand there and stare at me all night?"

"How do you know I'm staring at you?"

"I know you. I know you have other things to do. Do them and let me learn to do this in peace."

He was right. Eating was something he would have to learn to adjust to.

"All right." She conceded. "I'm going to hand you the spoon, then I'll leave you alone." She reached out and took his right hand, pressing the utensil into his palm. "If you need anything, just yell. I'll be in the next room."

He waited for the sound of her leaving not seeing the sadness on her face as she threw a parting glance over her shoulder. While he fumbled with his meal in one room, she pushed hers aside in the other.

--end Part 11--