Scrubs

My Idea Of The Norm

People think I'm funny. I don't think I'm very funny. Do you think I'm funny?

Ooh, and thanks Mew-Erenaa for reviewing every single chapter! She was shouted out in my blurb. Wanna be too? Start reviewing, skank. Heh...

Disclaimer: If I owned Scrubs, I'd live in a castle under the sea and speak cat. But I don't. And I don't. And I can't.

JD hissed. He slid his tongue in and out of his mouth like a snake and rocked his head back and forth.

Turk shook his head. "Nope, doesn't sound like parsletoung to me..."

"Damnit!" JD said. "I need to find Daniel Radcliff... He could teach me..."

Max shrugged. "I thought it was a pretty good job."

"Really?" JD asked. "Thanks, Max, you little ball of fluffy greatness, you!"

Max half smiled. "No problem, friend," she said.

There was a tap on her shoulder and she spun around to see who it was. Perry and Jordan stood behind her. "Perry and I would like to tell you something," Jordan said.

Perry grumbled next to her with his arms crossed over his chest. She elbowed him. They began to whisper back and forth, as though they were arguing. Max thought she'd spotted the words, 'No you do it.'

"Fine," Perry finally said, turning to Max. "We've... decided... to let you stay with us..."

Max smiled, trying to hold her excitement back.

Jordan stared, looking annoyed. "Well?" she asked. "Gonna jump for joy?"

Max shook her head, quickly, focusing on the reality she just experienced. "Um, I'm sorry. I'm just a little too happy for words right now. I'll catch up to you when I think of some... I think I'll sit down now..." She slid down against the wall, onto the floor, still grinning big.

"Fantastic," Perry grumbled, walking off. Jordan walked the opposite way.

"Whoa..." Turk said. "I thought Dr. Cox's head would explode..."

JD's head tilted to the side.

"Oh, oh, Max, check this out! JD's first day dream of the week."

Max looked up at JD, head tilted into the sky.

"He's gonna burst out with a random comment. See, loo-"

"Get some paper towels!"

Max jumped back. "Whoa." She stood up. "That was weird."

"You're weird," JD retorted.

Max nodded, snapping and pointing at him. "Yeah."

"Frick!"

Oh, wasn't it obvious who that was? "Why does she always yell frick?"

The two shrugged. "She's Elliot..." they said in unison.

Elliot ran past them. "Has anyone seen Ms. Clark's charts?!"

"Always losing charts..." JD mumbled, shaking his head.

Elliot froze, giving JD the eye. She looked at Max and smiled. "Hey, Lil' Ben!" she yelled.

Max tilted her head. "Lil'... Ben...?"

"Yeah, I'm trying it out! How's it sound?"

"Well, actually..."

"Great! I'll keep it! Have you seen Ms. Clark's charts?"

Max's lip quirked. "Um, no. Sorry, dude."

"Frick!" Elliot ran off, screaming for charts.

Max bared her teeth. "What a strange young lady..."

"Oh, she's not a young lady," JD said. "She's not even on the better half of thirty..."

Turk rolled his eyes. "JD, Elliot turns thirty-one in a month," he pointed out.

JD shrugged. "I know..."

Turk's pager went off. "Oopsie. Gotta go. Time for surgery."

"But I really don't think it's gonna be a problem, doc."

Perry stopped what he was doing, spinning around, and facing his patient. "Mr. Rudd, you have a brain tumor the size of a ping-pong ball. That's a problem, sir. And if you don't go into surgery today, you're gonna suffer from a real bad case of something I like to call death. Now we've got your surgical consult coming down to get you. So you won't suffer from that pesky little death thing, mmmmkay?"

Mr. Rudd nodded. "Yes, sir."

"And don't call me doc again. I will end you."

Just then, Turk sprinted into the room. "Hellooooo, Turtle-Head!" Perry yelled, spinning towards him. "Thanks so much for being late!"

"I'm sorry Dr. Cox, I was-"

"Oh, wait, wait, Ghandi! I wasn't done quite yet. Today hasn't been the best day. I've just acquired another family member despite the fact that there's absolutely no room in the house... Just... Just none. And, now, I have Mr. Rudd here who doesn't think a deadly tumor is a problem. And then there's you, strolling in, three minutes late for surgery, one that in this case, the guy could die. Now not by your incompetent shaking hand slicing away at his head, but because you're late. Wait, scratch that. By both. Now, while I go and try to get the rest of the day off so I can drink scotch out of a tiny Wonder Pets cup, I suggest you hurry this little party on." With that rant over and done with, Perry exited the room. "Goodnight, ghandidiot!"

God, he couldn't walk three feet without another disgrace for a doctor running for his help. "Dr. Cox!" Elliot yelled, skidding to a stop in here high heels. "Have you seen Ms. Clark's charts!?"

"And, there's Barbidiot, right on time..." He mumbled, rubbing at his temples. "No, I have not. Now, I'm having a bad day so I can't think up a good way to call you a name. So, you're stupid. You're just... stupid..."

He walked off again, even though he wasn't actually planning to go home. What was there besides in incompetent nanny and a screaming baby that, at the moment, reminded him so much of Newbie? Exactly...

"Grrrr..." Now, Perry's head shifted to the left. Max and JD were walking down the hall, stomping like monsters.

So, it was a little funny to see Max doing it. But, JD just looked like an idiot... "God... I'm surrounded by idiotic puppets... Just... surrounded... They're everywhere..."

"...And I can buy you outfits and you can get out of that gunky old jacket, and I can get you makeup, and-"

"Whoa, stop there, Jordan!" Max said, sipping her drink; a Monster Energy Drink. It was a drink she obviously didn't need, but loved anyway. "The jacket goes nowhere. None of my jackets do. 'Specially not SMiley."

"Smiley...?"

"No. The M's capital too. SMiley."

"Um, what's the difference?" Jordan asked, alittle annoyed.

"The M is LOUDER!!"

Jordan rolled her eyes. "You're very strange."

Max shrugged. "Do I remind you of your brother?"

Jordan smiled for a second. "Yeah, you actually do. Alot, really."

Max smiled. "Well, I hope that's a good thing. But, if you touch SMiley, I'll be forced to fill your shower with oatmeal."

"Please, elaborate: What in the world is 'SMiley?!"

"It's this jacket from this movie. It's like an army jacket, and on the pocket it says S.Miley. Smiley." Max grinned.

"And, you own that jacket...?"

"Well, not the same one."

Jordan nodded slowly. "Right... So, anyways, I'm going to enroll you in school next Saturday. Okay?"

"I feel smarter already!"

"That doesn't make since..."

"I know, but how much in life does? I mean, JD talks to a unicorn named Justin when he has problems..."

JD shot up from his seat, nearby. "I told you that in confidence, young lady!" he shouted, storming off.

"Oh... My bad..."