Scrubs
My Idea Of The Norm
If I pitched this idea to Bill Lawerence, would I have to take it off of fanfiction? Haha! I feel like an idiot. I ran into a clean glass door today. I thought that only happened in cartoons. And Windex commercials... Lola says that reading this is almost like watching an actual episode of Scrubs! rarax1 says she loves the comedy in my chapters! VampireCello, thank's for the review! And, yes. Yes, I know the midget's name. Ha. Oh, oh, Phantomeviola, thanks for referring the story to said neck-biting cello. Strange... You're both string instruments, but not the one I play... VIOLINS FOREVER! Anyways...
I said this at least forty times a day for three days straight;
Perry: If I'm not here, people die.
Ben: IF I AM NOT HERE PEOPLE DIEEEEEEEE!
Disclaimer: Say it with me now: HalleIRONICAL does not now, nor has she ever own Scrubs.
Ew. Chalk... And bad cherries...
Chalk's dusty and chunky... It gets caught in your throat and makes you cough... If eat it, anyway...
Bad cherries. The kind of cherries that come in milk shakes. The ones everyone throws away because they're all soft and nasty.
That was the taste in Max's mouth.
"This is the worst medicine I've ever had in all of my fifteen and six eighths years," Max said, coughing.
"Yeah, well medicine for infections are no walk through the park," Perry said. "They taste bad. They're chunky. So, get use to it. You're lucky it was a minor infection. These are the problems you face when you juggle knifes."
"Yeah!" JD jumped in. "Knife juggler!"
"Absolutely do not need your help with this, newbie!"
"But, I'm her doctor..."
"How sad for her."
Max chuckled. "Y'know, when I was down in pediatrics the other day, I realized something," she said, pushing away her medicine.
"Yeah? What's that?" Perry asked.
"It's full of children," she said, matter-of-factly.
Perry looked at her as to say 'Duh.'
JD tilted his head. "It is full of children..." he said, wonderingly.
"But, it's not just full of children. It's full of sick children."
"Of course it is," Perry said. "Sick children usually go to pediatrics."
"Yeah, but I was thinking," Max started. "Alot of those kids are terminally ill. And, on MTV once, they had this dance crew go to a children's hospital, and they gave them their own little prom. And I was thinking that the pediatrics kids could have, like, a little Halloween dance. Since it's the end of September, that gives us alot of time to think of ideas."
"Oh my goodness!" JD yelled. "That's a great idea!" He hopped up and down, clapping his hands.
Perry raised an eyebrow at him. "Ginger, that's not proving to me that you're a man at all. It's proving you're so much more of a little girl than I ever thought."
JD tilted his head to the side, entering his daydream world.
Perry rolled his eyes. "Ridiculous..." Max thought she heard him whisper.
JD blinked. "I'd look good with pig tails..."
Max and Perry narrowed their eyes. "What?"
"Nothin'," JD mumbled, turning, and walking out the room.
"Anyways, how's that sound to you, Chief O' Medicine?" Max grinned, raising her eyebrows, repeatedly.
Perry shrugged. "I'll have to think about it."
"Aaaw, come on, Per-Per! Most of these kids won't get a chance to go to a dance! This would be great for them!" Max stood up, squeezing Perry's arm.
"I said I'd think about it. Let's start with that be for I say forget it completely, you little weirdo."
Max frowned. "Fine," she said. Then, building up a mock-monster voice, she yelled, "There are sick children here!"
"Shut up," he said, spinning around and walking out the room.
"But there are sick children here!" she screamed, fallowing behind him.
Perry chuckled. "Shut up."
"Sick children here!"
"Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up."
He was starting to break down. She's fallowed him for fifteen minutes and now it was hard for him to stop laughing.
"Siiiiiiccccckkkkk! Childrennnnnnnnn!"
Perry laughed again. "Okay, okay, I'll tell you what," he said. "You figure out where it'll be held, then come back to me."
Max smiled, big. "Hell yeah!" she yelled, running off.
Max sat in the lunch room, tapping her foot on the ground. Where could a Sacred Heart dance be held? Hm...
"Hey, Max!"
She looked up, forgetting about her thoughts for a moment. JD, Turk, and Elliot were sitting down at the table with her. Carla was nearby, pulling a chair up to the table.
"Hey, Max, you know what your father did once to me that was really fun?" JD asked, eating a slice of pizza.
Max smiled. "Uh... No."
"One day, he picked me up over his shoulders and spun me around in circles. It was the most fun I've ever had!"
Max nodded. "Okay then," she said, laughing.
"So..." JD mumbled, sounding hopeful.
Max smiled again. "Are you asking me to lift you over my shoulders and spin you around in circles?"
JD hopped up, pressing his palms against the table. "Please, Max?!"
Max let out little bursts of laughter. "JD, I'm a fifteen year old girl. That's just not gonna happen."
He sat back down, disappointed. "Well, I'll just pretend." He shut his eyes, spreading his arms out at his sides.
Elliot furrowed her eyebrows. "O-kay..." she mumbled. "Anyways, we hear you're trying to have a party for the kids in pediatrics, 'Lil Ben!"
"Yep," Max said, half smiling.
"That's so nice of you, Max!" Carla said, smiling big at her.
"Oh! Where are you gonna have it? What are the decorations gonna look like? Are you gonna play music? What kind of music? Is there gonna be a DJ? Can you make sure he's cute? And, can I help?!"
Max bared her teeth at Elliot. "Party fiend?"
Carla flutter-rolled her eyes. "She's more than a party fiend. She takes them over and feeds off of their flesh."
"I see..."
Elliot gasped with real infesis. "I do not! I'm perfectly normal when it comes to parties!"
"Parties? Who's having a party?" Janitor stopped, standing behind Carla.
"Sup, Boss?" Max greeted. "Perry said we could probably have a party here for the terminal kids in pediatrics."
"Oh. Can I be the entertainment? We can get our knife act back together!"
Max shook his head. "No, that's okay, Boss. My knife juggling days are over and done with..."
"Is that right?" Janitor asked. "Well, what a shame. I'll just have to get an orderly to help me..."
He walked off, pushing what Max guessed was an invisible mop.
Turk finally chimed in. "The Cool Cats could perform!" he said.
"Oh, not that stupid air band," Carla said, making a face at him.
"Yeah!" Turk said. "I can even use Izzy as my little invisible guitar!"
"One," Carla said. "You will never use my child as an instrument and two, she wouldn't be invisible, so it wouldn't work."
"Woman, you always gotta shoot me down," Turk complained.
"Man, you always gotta say stupid stuff," Carla mocked, bobbing her head and waving her finger.
Suddenly, JD's eyes opened. "Eagle..." he whispered.
"Can I get the decorations? What about costumes? Isn't it gonna be on Halloween? And what's gonna happen if a child comes without a costume? How about we make a list?"
Max blinked acouple of times. She felt as though she could slap Elliot. But she wouldn't.
"Y'know, Elliot," Max began. "I feel as though I can slap you. But I won't."
Elliot's lips slowly parted and she 'Aaaaaw'-ed, pressing her hand against her chest. "See, that's why everyone likes you! You're so nice!"
Max's eyes narrowed, confused. She shrugged it off and smiled at her. "You're right. You're absolutely right.
"Max, get off the counter. No one's supposed to sit up there." Carla softly knocked Max's back with a magazine.
"Can-do," she said, sliding down and leaning against it. "I'm just having a hard time figuring out where I could have this little Shin-digg. It's like no room makes since."
"You know what you should do?" Carla asked, walking off with a chart in her hands.
"I take that as a clue that I'm supposed to fallow you," Max laughed, fallowing Carla into a patient's room.
"You should think like your father."
Carla didn't see, but Max rolled her eyes. She was getting tired of that...
"Take a picture of every room in the hospital, then compare them."
Max's lip quirked. "Why didn't I think of that in the first place? Thanks Carla!"
Carla smiled. "You're welcome."
Click. "Thank you nice orderly!"
The orderly rolled their eyes at Max as they finished making the bed in an empty hospital room and walked out.
Okay, some people didn't enjoy Max as much as others...
Max noticed that no one exactly hated her around the hospital. But she'd also noticed that even though they didn't dislike her, the orderlies seemed to have it out for her... Not to mention the folks that worked in the lunch line. And that midget...
She shrugged her thoughts away, and continued on taking pictures of all the rooms.
The description of the medicine is actually how a medicine I had to take once tasted. I had an infection, just like Max. Lets just be happy they didn't have to amputate my foot.