Shane sat on an empty park bench and Carmen followed suit. They sat in silence for a moment and Shane felt every millimetre between them.
"So. This is awkward."
"Uh, yeah."
"Do you know that every awkward moment a gay baby is born?"
Carmen laughed and the tension between them lessened.
"Where did you hear that?" she asked.
"Someone I knew." Said Shane
"A girl?" "Yeah" "What was her name?" "Molly."
The silence once more engulfed them and Shane felt lost.
"I guess I should start."
Carmen sighed heavily and Shane felt her heart jump into her throat.
"You know I only wanted the best for you."
Carmen snorted softly and Shane turned to her, desperate to make her understand.
"Really. I knew I wasn't what you deserved and I knew I would just break your heart. I just wanted you to be happy. Even if my dad is an arse he's right. I can't stay in a relationship; I screw things up all the time. Its what I do best."
"But that's what you don't get!" exclaimed Carmen.
"I knew it would have been hard work, but I was willing! I was willing to sacrifice my whole life to you, for forever. And you had no faith in us."
Shane couldn't believe what she was hearing. She never thought about it from that point of view before. She told Carmen so.
"I realise that. Look Shane, if you want to know the truth, I don't hate you."
Shane was surprised. "You sure? When I opened the door I thought you were going to kill me."
Carmen sighed again. "Yeah, me too. Shane I, I let you go a while back. As well as my mother and most of my family."
Shane was at a loss for words.
"But you love your mom. And your family. What happened?"
"I loved them, I still do but they couldn't accept me for who I am."
"I'm sorry."
Shane was in a state of shock and guilt.
She should have been there. She should have been there for Carmen, but she walked away. Pretending that she was doing it for Carmen's sake. She was such,
"An arse."
"What?" Asked Carmen.
Shane looked up and at Carmen.
"I'm an arse. I should have been there for you. I tried to protect you and you still got hurt."
Carmen said nothing for a moment. Instead she looked deeply into Shane's eyes.
"You really care, don't you?"
Shane was surprised. "Well, yeah. I mean, how could I not? I hurt you and it still haunts me. It hurt me to hurt you."
Carmen tilted her head slightly and looked at Shane.
"What?"
"You've changed Shane."
"I have? Well I guess my clothes are a little different, and my hair. But apart from that not really. I still manage to fuck up my relationships"
" Really? Well that's seems just like you, but I don't know. Something just seems"
"different. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"
"Good. I guess."
"Well thanks. Look Carmen, I know I rambled on and shit, but can you please forgive me?"
"Shane, I forgave you a long time ago."
"Can you just say it? Please? I can't forgive myself until you forgive me."
Carmen sighed good naturedly before saying softly
"I forgive you Shane."
Shane felt a weight lift off her chest and she smiled gratefully.