Under the New Moon Chapter 9: Living in emptiness, a twilight fanfic

A/N: Okay so I made a mistake and said MARCUS grabbed her shoulder, when actually FELIX did that's why it was his pov next sorry about that.

I would've died then and there. I could feel Marcus squeezing my shoulder? His eyes were suddenly filled with sympathy. Wow... I never saw this side of him.

Felix's POV

Ugh! Stupid Bella. I guess if she's going to stay might as well be nice. Stupid Cullen family. I could feel Bella's pain next to me. I tried to "comfort" her. I don't know. I was not falling for her, but it was just so hard to see her like this. That beautiful face filled with sadness. It hurt me? I don't know.

AND

when it says this:

"Just... I had a troubled past, I forgot it, but it keeps coming back. I don't know... Yeah so I'll do it. Grab my hands and I need you to picture the people in your head and some bad memories, you want to erase. You will be going through their minds and erasing memories."

It was Chloe talking sorry again.

Previously...

There everything was perfect. I felt pained, but now I can go on easy without them worrying. Perfect Bella. Just need to hide your scent. Crap. Never mind. Hire someone. No.
Just do it Bella, they won't recognize the scent anyways. My head was right.

Good Bye Edward. Live happy... forever.

Bella's POV

Chloe looked at me questionably, but then just smiled.

"I'm ready you?"

"yeah..." it sounded more like an emotionless whisper. I couldn't stand the thought of Edward forgetting me. And the Cullens. But I had to they would all be in danger.

Chloe held out her hand and I took it.

"Okay now, just picture the people and erase any memory you want, but not completely when there's a lot to forget you'll put those memories in an amulet that'll come after, it'll play the memories like a television. When you want them to remember you break the amulet."

Wow... I'll just throw the amulet in a box. I will never see them again.

"Okay..." Breathe Bella. I don't need to BREATHE! Oh yeah. I took a deep breath anyways. Then I realized I had to go through the Volturi's mind so they forget they came and had an appointment.

"Get ready." Chloe closed her eyes. I closed mine and pictured the WHOLE Volturi. Not including Chloe. I could see all their memories and decided to make them forget EVERYTHING about the Cullen's visit. I could see a red light forming. The amulet? Whatever.

It was again painful to see the Cullen's faces. Oh Alice.

Then I saw through the minds of the Cullen family. I surfed through A LOT of memories. I could feel myself weaken when I saw how happy I looked just being with them. Then the painful memories came and I almost let go, but I knew I had to do this. There was a giant image.

"Bella I love you"

NO YOU DON'T THEN WHY'D YOU LEAVE ME!!

"Me too."

"Forever."

Then it was gone. I just couldn't stand it. Then everything went black. I opened my eyes and saw Chloe. She was dry sobbing a lot...

"What's wrong?"

"It was so hard seeing those memories. I can imagine how hurt you felt. The hurt HE felt."

She embraced me in a hug. Then there was a red light. Really big. Chloe calmed down.

"Here's the amulet, it sure is big..." "Anyways just break it and say I want you to remember. To make their memories come back to them."" Okay." The room was so big it had a bathroom that connected to the other room...Chloe's. So this is what she meant by roommate. I held the amulet close to my heart. I dare not look into it. Seeing so many memories would make me collapse...and never get back up. I put it in a box and opened a floor board and put it in there.

I wanted to play a song. I don't know, but since I became a singer I wrote songs when I get upset.

I went out and asked Aro if I could buy a piano, and guitar.

"Sure Bella." "Ugh... I have this huge headache like someone took something important out of my head...Oh! It's gone." "Do you need a guard to go with you."

"Sure..." I needed some company, so I wouldn't run away to go see Edward. I told Chloe to go and deliver the note while I was gone.

"Okay then Felix please escort Bella to her destination." Ugh...

"Fine."

We went and bought a grand white piano. And a keyboard so I could have fun for awhile. Then a beautiful guitar. Felix and I grabbed a car and it was silent.

"What made you want to buy a piano, keyboard. and guitar?"

"Just so I could write songs. It makes me feel better."

"About what?"

"NOTHING!" I answered too quickly, and he just turned around.

I put the instruments in my room and started to play. And sing. I felt pained but there was a wait lifted off my shoulders.

Listen to your heart (DHT)

I know there's something in the wake of your smile.
I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yea.
You've built a love but that love falls apart.
Your little piece of heaven turns too dark.

Listen to your heart
when he's calling for you.
Listen to your heart
there's nothing else you can do.
I don't know where you're going
and I don't know why,
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye.

Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile.
The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yea.
They're swept away and nothing is what is seems,
the feeling of belonging to your dreams.

And there are voices
that want to be heard.
So much to mention
but you can't find the words.
The scent of magic,
the beauty that's been
when love was wilder than the wind.

Listen to your heart, mm-mmmmmm

I don't know where you're going
and I don't know why,
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye.

I finished and saw Chloe and Felix staring at me. If I could, I would have blushed, but that wasn't me anymore. I could feel the confidence rise and I could feel it. The rage. Why would then barge in on something so private?! They were just worried. I calmed down and looked down at my hands.

"Bella...that was beautiful." they said in unison. Chloe looked a bit pained and then excited.

"Play another. I love music I just can't do anything."

"Yeah uh... I um got to go. Have fun" Felix walked out and I just breathed in and started to play the songs I just wrote. And some of my favorites I sung before.

My heart will go on(Celine Dion)

Every night in my dreams
I see you. I feel you.
That is how I know you go on.

Far across the distance
And spaces between us
You have come to show you go on.

(Chorus) Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart, and
My heart will go on and on.

Love can touch us one time
And last for a lifetime
And never let go till we're one.

Love was when I loved you
One true time I hold you to.
In my life we'll always go on

(Chorus) Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart, and
My heart will go on and on.

(Stronger Voice)
You're here there's nothing I fear,
And I know that my heart will go on
We'll stay forever this way
You are safe in my heart, and
My heart will go on and on...mmmmm

Again Chloe looked awed and Felix was standing by the door.

"Felix just come in won't you! Her songs are beautiful!"

Felix's POV

I was down the hall when I heard singing? Bella.

I look and she didn't realize that me and Chloe an obnoxious girl came in and listened. Her voice was perfect. The way she sang was even better. An angel. But she seemed so sad. I couldn't see her like this. It was awful. Then she stopped. She looked angry, then calm, and then looked at her hands.

"Bella...that was beautiful." we said in unison. Chloe looked a bit pained and then excited.

"Play another. I love music I just can't do anything."

"Yeah uh... I um got to go. Have fun" I had to go,I would've stayed, but I don't know. I didn't want to fall for her or become her friend.

Then I heard the musical voice again this time I just stayed at the doorway. Again still sad.

"Felix just come in won't you! Her songs are beautiful!"

They were. Being her friend wouldn't be too bad. I guess.

Bella's POV

I sang a few more songs. It got harder each time but I knew my friends would help me. Felix...and Chloe. Felix. I needed some friends so I guess I could count him in. Felix was lying on the bed staring at the ceiling. Chloe sat in a chair with awe.

Just so you know Jesse McCartney

I shouldn't love you but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away

And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop

Chorus:
Just so you know
This feeling's taking control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around, I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know

It's getting hard to be around you
There's so much I can't say
Do you want me to hide the feelings
And look the other way

And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop

Chorus

This emptiness is killing me
And I'm wondering why I've waited so long
Looking back I realize
It was always there just never spoken
I'm waiting here...been waiting here

When it all falls apart (The veronicas)

Almost Lover (A fine Frenzy)

Wild Horses (Natasha Bedingfield)

Speechless (The veronicas)

Fall to pieces (Avril Lavigne)

I was done and both of them stared at me in awe.

I looked outside and it was dark. We said our good-byes.

Chloe stayed and said she gave them the note. "I put suitcases with some clothes in it and then left. They were probably out hunting."

I smiled a tiny one and then she left for her room.

I took a shower and got dressed and stuff. I laid in my bed with my iPod in my ears. I just kept saying that it's better if they didn't know me, and pictured them happy.

Edward's POV

After my brothers, and sister, Alice, pulled me out, we waited for Carlisle. He came out and said we were going to talk to them tomorrow at 12:30 after their lunch everyone scowled in disgust. .

We went to our hotel room, and then went out hunting.

There was something weird though. I couldn't remember what I was doing except hunting. My family had the same expression. I felt an emptiness yearning for something, knowing that it would never be filled. We went back to a hotel room...? That's all I remember. There was a note and a strange smell. I couldn't recognize it, but whatever. The note read that we were on vacation? Huh? Suitcases. We must be. Forks. It was our time to leave. Why were we here. So confused.

Carlisle said it was time to go, with a confused look on his face. Luckily it started to become dark and we went home. I think. Alice just looked confused and so did Emmet and Jasper.

When I went home, Rosalie and Esme were waiting and asked where we've been.

"On vacation?"

"Oh well I don't know. I felt worried about something and then just forgot."

"Us too."

The family thought it was time to leave. Off we go to North Carolina.

3 years later...

Alice's POV

UGH! Edward is making out with another girl AGAIN. Ever since we moved to North Carolina, Edward has been a player. I hate him. First he moped over nothing and then now he's making out with every girl he likes. And they kiss him back. Sluts...

Edward's POV

I don't know why, but I like making out with girls that have brown wavy hair. It reminds me of something and I think this will jog my memory. This is SO frustrating. I couldn't even figure something out. Why was I so depressed and empty? Whenever I try something I can 't fill it by a little. I can't even remember the girls' name. Ugh. I just pulled away and she almost attacked me for more. I drove her home. Then went home and stayed in my room. Thinking what's missing?

I looked in the mirror. Emotionless. OO

yep nothing. Same bronze hair, muscles, and same face since we left Forks. Maybe my answers there. I snuck off into the night and just left a note. Alice was of course waiting for me at my car.

"Your not going."

"Yes I am Alice now MOVE!"

"No"

"Why?" It sounded like a whine...

"Because I want to go with you..." She said it so softly, and then looked down.

"Why Alice, Why?"

"Because I feel like some thing's missing in my life. I can see the whole family thinks that."

I opened my mind.

Carlisle- I have a lot of work to do, but I feel some thing's always missing...

Esme-I can't find out why, I keep myself busy, but I can't fill something is missing...

Emmet-Football's been boring... I need someone to hug or trip over. Nope can't remember what I'm missing

Rosalie- Everyone has an expressionless face again like somethings missing? Me too. :(

Jasper- Empty!! Where's Alice? Still soooo EMPTY!

Emptiness... Missing...

No I'm not empty, or missing anything.

"No Alice."

"WHY NOT!" She shrieked.

"I'm not going. I'm just confused..."

"Okay. Tell me when your not in denial!" Great she's mad.

A week later...

Everyone stared at us again. Then some girl just kissed me. I ran away and just let myself lay low. I sat down at lunch and all through school just thinking about what if I was in denial? NAW.

I thought I needed a make-out session so I went up to a girl with brown hair, and kissed her. There was an intense electric shock going through my body. I was overwhelmed, until she punched me... ow.

"OW! What did you do that for?

I always got used to someone kissing me back.

'Because you're a...a...a... player. AND a jerk Edward Anthony Maeson Cullen!!"

Those words hurt me more than it should've I caught her image, before she drove off. Wait how'd she know my real name?

She had brown wavy hair, had topaz eyes? Vampire... vegetarian... I stood there awe struck.

I thought that she was the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen. She smelled of freesia.

"WHY IS THAT SO FAMILIAR !?" I accidentally yelled that and I'm sure my family would've heard that.

I stomped away in frustration, not caring. Then my siblings staring at me. Concerned.

Jasper was the first to break the awkwardness.

'What's wrong Edward?'

"I saw and kissed this girl-"

"Edward you're so predict-"

"NO. She punched me HARD and she-"

Emmet laughed "Sweet I wish I could've been there."

"NO let me finish!!" Everyone stood there in the silence.

"Okay... she was a vampire. A vegetarian and she knew my real name and drove off. She smelled really nice

and it was just all too familiar. Her voice and her face everything. I don't know where it's from, but it filled a little bit of my emptiness...inside me."

Everyone glanced down, obviously feeling the same way.

"Then I remembered it all started in Forks. I was going to go with Alice, but I was in denial..."

"I'm sorry Alice." She beamed and then looked serious.

"Well I'm going to Forks still. Anyone want to come?"

"Yes!" We all said in unison.

"okay we have to tell Carlilse and Esme."

We did and they let us go.

We just went on the plane, all of my siblings, and I.

I put my head towards the window and looked out.

I'm on my way to fill what is missing...