Chapter 5- Ticket to Heaven
Reno finally stumbled into the apartment hours into the wee morning exhausted and weak. Ths night's mission had drained him and he couldn't wait to crawl into bed and sleep himself to death. They expected him back bright and early but they would have to shove it, he needed to sleep. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out his last cigarette, looking about for his wallet. He'd have to hit the Whirlwind again before he went into work. A dark, angry scowl crossed his face as he found his wallet empty. Again. Who the fuck was he working for? He agreed to pay the rent, not Axel's fucking habit!
That was IT!
He stalked over to where the sleeping Axel lay, shaking the drunkard hard. He let out a groan of misery, eyes slowly sliding open. Reno took his cigarette and pressed it into Axel's arm. That woke him up right quick.
"ASSHOLE!" Axel shoved Reno backward, still woozy on his feet. "What the fuck?!"
"YOU LAZY SON OF A BITCH!" Reno threw the nearest cup he could find at the other redhead, watching it shatter all over the floor. "Why don't you try living for yourself for once rather than living off me all the fucking time?!" He was exhausted.. he didn't need this.. his nerves were on fire and Axel was pushing all the wrong buttons. He was beyond sick of supporting Axel and his bad habit.. it hadn't been so bad at first but now all they did was fight. All Axel ever used him for was a bank. He was through playing mommy to the drunk and his ignorance.
"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?!" Axel quickly advanced on the Turk, a dance for life and death manuevering the Turk back into a corner. Reno's breath came faster, Turk instincts kicking in ready to tear the other apart of he didn't stop. He was pushing all the wrong buttons in a body wired for survival before morals. The two redheads stood toe to toe, electricity cracking between them. Reno could feel his chest tighten, fists clenched, ready to pounce if Axel moved one step closer.
"I'M FUCKING SICK OF SUPPORTING YOUR BAD HABITS! YOU'RE A LAZY MOTHERFUCKER WITH YOUR HEAD TOO FAR UP YOUR OWN ASS TO SEE HOW STUPID YOU ARE! I'M NOT SUPPORTING YOUR HABIT ANYMORE, AXEL!" Blood spurted out Reno's nose as Axel's fist cracked into it sending him reeling back into the wall. Roars tore from Reno as he lunged at Axel, all the survival instincts he'd ever learned flaring up to guard him from the bastard's fists. Fists and feet connected with senstive places, nails tore at eyes and mouths spurting fresh blood from wounds.
Alcohol was a powerful force, a force far stronger than Reno expected. Axel's head whipped up into his knocking Reno dizzy. Taking advantage of the moment Axel flipped them over and quickly straddled Reno, wrapping strong hands around his throat. Reno paniced, kicking and screaming against the hands clawing desperately. His lungs burned, everything swimming in his visions gagging and choking on pitiful whimpers for air. Exhaustion swept back in and he struggled against his own body desperate to shut down. He only had one more chance..
Reaching out he grabbed the door of a nearby cabinet, slamming it open and shut in futile attempt to rouse the sleeping boy in the other room. Just his luck the kid had shot up before he passed out. Good luck waking him up then. Thinking became harder, grasping at any stray thought trickling by. He had to get out of here.. had to get away.. he could hear the whispers of the planet beckoning their broken child back into its arms.. No.. No he didn't wanna die!
"STOP IT!" Hands pulled away and air rushed his lungs setting them ablaze. Coughing hard he gripped the pistol at his thigh, pointing it up at Axel in case he got anymore bright ideas. Axel was on his knees now staring at his hands in disbelief, blood trickling down the sid eof his face. Roxas stood behind him wielding a plunger the Turk surmised he'd beaten the other with. Lowering the pistol he slumped to the cold floor, the cool tiles almost refreshing against his warm skin. Weariness seeped back into his muscles unclenching the nerves. Pacified, he watched his roomates, Axel getting to his feet to storm back into the bedroom.
Tears rollled down Roxas's cheeks. Tears.. the poor kid must have been terrified. It was one hell of a life to lead and Reno could only imagine the pain of addiction and whatever had brought him to such a measure. He barely looked a day over sixteen.. no kid deserved to live like this. Holstering the gun he managed back to his feet, reaching out to pull Roxas close against him. The boy struggled vainly before collapsing into the Turk's arms into helpless tears.
"Reno.. oh God Reno what have I done.. look at me.." Roxas whimpered, clinging tightly to the bloody man. "He.. he hates me Reno.. I'm so disgusting..."
"Who hates you Roxas?" Reno gently guided them over to the couch pulling the boy into his arms to lament.
"Hayner.." he whispered softly. "My.. my boyfriend.. or.. he was..."
"Mind me asking why?" Reno threaded his fingers through Roxas's hair, hearing the soft creak of the floorboards telling of Axel's presence in the threshold. Eavesdropping, no doubt.
"No.. I don't..." Roxas sat back withdrawing from his pocket a keychain of what looked like a throwing star. He bit his lip, fighting tears as the memories threatened to break him again. He had to get over Hayner.. he couldn't.. he couldn't let it swallow him again. "We were friends since we were little.. and we just gradually became more and more until we were lovers... Then.."
"Then?" Reno asked gently.
"...he found out.. I had no heart. We were just sitting there on the couch and he wanted to.. h-have sex.. I knew he was going to find out about my heart if he did.. It was hard to hide it before but I managed somehow.." Tears bubbled out of his eyes frustrating him. He.. he didn't want to cry over this but it hurt so damn much.. It was all Hayner's fault.. everything...
Reno frowned. Axel didn't have a heart either so he was used to the notion himself but that must have been shocking news for a kid. "I guess he didn't take the news too well..?"
"WHAT KIND OF... OF FREAKSHOW ARE YOU?!"
"No.." Roxas held tighter. "He didn't.. He called me so many names.. pushed me.. told me I was disgusting and demented... Only minutes after telling me I was beautiful and he'd always love me!" Nails sank into his wrists, Reno holding his hands back to prevent self-destruction. "I never asked to be born like this!"
"Shh.. easy.. easy.." He gently nuzzled the other's hair. "Easy kid..."
"It's all his fault Reno! It's all his fault! I just.. I wanted to try so I didn't have to think and I got hooked and.. and eventually I ran out of money so.." He was hysterical by now, hiccuping and coughing between fits of tears.
"It's alright Roxas." he held the ecstatic boy close against him wishing he could do something.. but there was only one method of comfort he knew.
"I don't wanna feel anymore... I don't.. I'm so sick of this shit.." He was so tired.. everything hurt... Reno was so warm and safe against him he could drown in it. Reaching up he pulled the Turk down on top of him and closed his eyes, silently begging to be freed from this horrible, horrible pain. Reno leaned in and kissed his neck showering Roxas in the only affection he knew. Axel turned and strode back down the hall, staring out the window at the moonshine above. He withdrew a hidden bottle of vodka and chugged it, as fast as he could. He didn't care.. it felt so damn right, so damn good... He would do whatever it took to not have to feel anymore... to be void of all emotion.... to escape this horrible pain inside.
Anything to be numb again...
Ealry morning and he couldn't sleep. It couldn't have been more than maybe three in the morning. Reno was still blissfully asleep and he vaguely found himself wondering how Axel was. Slipping out from under the Turk he rummaged around for his pants and went to the back bedroom. The door was slightly ajar and he could hear moans of pain from inside, no doubt a hangover. Stepping into the room Axel lay passed out across the bed hiding his face in the dark sheets trying to escape. He looked like shit and he could only imagine how he must have looked himself.
Crossing the room Roxas shut the blinds and slid up onto the bed watching him. They were truly more alike then one would think. Suffering alone with these addictions, desperate to make something of themselves in a life full of nothing with no way at all to repent for their countless wrongs. In the short span he'd known the man he had started growing attached to him. Not love, no, nothing that deep. He'd never love again after Hayner. He did care for Axel though, and was concerned for him.
"Morning.." Axel looked up at him, flashing a weak smile. Hangovers were the worst..
"Hey..." he closed his eyes and hid back against the blankets. "What do you want?" Axel had expected to be hounded, yelled at. Most definately not have the smaller boy's hand lace fingers with his, pulling it close to his silent chest. A million emotions whirled in Axel's head, watching Roxas take each finger and kiss it softly. Was he just desperate or that damn stupid?
"Axel.." His voice was genuine. Hurting so badly. "I.. want to come clean.. Please..." He held the hand tighter. "Come with me.. fight with me.. don't leave me alone Axel, I don't want to be alone anymore!"
"Roxas..." he wasn't sure how to take this boy's plea.. Clean. He'd entertained that muse several times himself but he'd never been able to do it on his own. Maybe.. together... "Do you.. think we could do this together? Come clean?"
"Yes.." Roxas nodded firmly. "We have the determination.. and if we get lost we'll have each other.. I think we can do this Axel." He kissed the hand again, laying down next to his companion. "Together. Maybe even with Reno..."
It was a long shot. An uncertain path. A chance to right all his wrongs.
Something must have been watching out for him.
"Alright babe.." he took Roxas's hand and kissed it in return, the silent agreement binding them together on a new, perilous journey. "We'll do this together..."
Take me under
Take me under
Feeling the needles
Breaking my skin
Rush of sweet poison
Through my cold veins
Sucking the life
From my last breath
You know you'll crave it
Ache it, need it
You know you'll scream and cry
Begging to die
Until you savor all your addictions
And lose resolve to fall back into dark
Take me under