Chapter 6- Awake

Excitement the previous evening had drained Roxas so he wasn't surprised to wake to a digital face blinking 11:45. It were only he and Axel curled up in bed, Reno hadn't come in last night. Probably still pissed off at Axel. Beside him the accused dozed in peace, strong chest rising and falling in slow, deep breath. Gentle as he looked now it was difficult to visualize the demon Roxas had witnessed yesterday. Roxas reached out to tease the flaming tresses, carressing the soft spikes. Axel shifted up into the hand and Roxas smiled. He was such a beautiful man and Roxas knew he had a good soul, just misguided. Axel had it in him to come clean. That determination in his eyes last night had been genuine and if anyone in this world could stop on a dime it was Axel. It wasn't going to be easy, Roxas was certain of that.

Abandoning Axel's warmth Roxas made himself decent and ventured into the kitchen in search of coffee. Reno snored gently on the couch across the room, crimson hair spilling over the arm. Atop him was the cueball Roxas had remembered seeing coming from the bedroom his first night here, probably here to comfort Reno after the war. Exploring the cupboards revealed several containers of various roasts barely enough for sustenance. Feeling prickly, the blonde dumped several of the roasts together into the pot and kicked back to await the finish product. He looked down at the track marks racing the length of his arm and he winced. Damn he'd let himself get bad.

Someone shuffled in the other room and Roxas watched Reno's fucktoy, as Axel so graciously called him, come into the kitchen and plant himself firmly in front of the pot. He eyed the conglomeration of containers with amusement, sitting back against the counter. He was a broadly built man with blue eyes of a humble soul. Definately wouldn't have struck Roxas as the type to associate with Reno. Here he was though, sitting across from a sixteen year old crack whore waiting on a precarious brew of coffee in some little apartment stagnant with the smell of sex and booze.

"Hi..." Roxas croaked, trying his best to be hospitable though his throat stung and cracked. It was awkward as hell just staring at each other. The man nodded in return. Not one for sparkling conversation apparently. Roxas turned on the sink water, sipping it to ease the burn in his throat. It tasted like shit but got the job done.

"What's your name?"

"Rude." he replied, "Reno's partner."

"Oh..." the coffee was almost ready. "Are you a Turk?" The man was built like a tank.. that's a stupid question.

Rude nodded. "Yourself?" He got them a mug from above, flaunting strong muscles. He got an extra cup down for Reno, but only three.

"Roxas...Axel's friend." Not too far off...

"I see." Rude made coffee in each cup passing one to Roxas. "What's your poison?"

"Heroin." Just the sound of that word made his stomach curdle. He must have looked horrible if Rude could tell so easily, he hadn't seen himself in ages. It was too terrifying, too horrible, too humiliating to think about. What he was doing to himself. What he'd done. What he was admitting to. Withering to death at the mercy of hellish angel dust. How long had it been since he'd seen the body he lived in every day of his miserable little life? A week? Three weeks? Two months? Did it even matter anymore? How long.. how long had this been going on? He couldn't even recollect when the beginning started. As if it had always been this way.

"I'm going to get Axel!" Roxas declared spontaneously, leaping down from the counter. He abandoned Rude and stepped into the bathroom forcing the stubborn door closed behind him. He approached the mirror slowly, watching his feet. A lump caught in his throat. He couldn't.. he couldn't look. Couldn't bear to think of what he had become. The hideous face that would greet him. The face of something that was him yet not. Nails dug into flesh drawing sticky blood. He.. he had to look...

The sight that greeted him was the face of a specter. Young skin stained pale blotched around the eyes black and blue. Shallow cheeks made him look far older than sixteen. Tears blurred the monster's face, it wrinkled up and looked so ugly as it burst out into wild sobs. Gnawing, hungry pain returned, chewing his nerves down to the wire and he immediately craved oblivion. No.. no he couldn't let it control him! He fell to the floor thrashign and screaming, clawing at mold between linoleum tiles. Electricity cracked through his head as he screamed again reaching desperately towards the light above. The light slurred and darkened as his eyes finally succumbed to the desire to fall. How he would love to go to sleep and escape this pain forever.

Something touched his shoulder shaking him forcefully. He barely registered the feeling of arms wrapping around him and pulling him against something warm and sturday. Roxas tried to speak but could only must whimpers. It hurt like hell to accomplish that much. Pain.. he could feel pain so he must still be alive. A voice called out, steadily mumbling away to him. Fuzzy hands rubbed his cheek slowly growing skin as he drifted back into consiousness.

"Roxas.." he could make out the voice now... Axel?

"Ax...?" Arms held him upright tipping forward the blonde's head. He leaned down and smiled. Axel.. he had a really nice smile.

"Hey you.." he whipred seat from the boy's brow. "You alive?"

"I'm breathing.." he mumbled. He must have still been alive, he could feel the pain radiating around him. Axel's hands soft and warm against his skin. Tender radiance of the redhead's smile above lighting the path along this dark road they traveled. Once he could move Roxas moved to straddle Axel's lap, wrapping his arms tight around the skinny frame sobbing pitifully. Axel was so good to him, patiently stroking his back letting him lament and mourn the animal he'd become. Their world was slowly crashing down around them but they could change that.. They would rise above the opposition and come clean together in sanctity. They would live in peace away from drugs and booze, they could become addicted to each other and the redhot fire they would share together in bed every night. Making sweet, hot love pulling the redhead's hair screaming his name to the moonshine. After suffering for so long they deserved some rest.

"Coffee ready?" Axel could smell it and he definately needed some brew to fight his own growing need.

"Should be.." Roxas closed his mouth over Axel's, the redhead immediately dominating the kiss crushing their mouths together. Slick tongues battled for dominance, sweeping and tasting the craving. Hotter than any fix. Sweeter than any wine. Greedy and lusty and oh so wonderful. Something inside Roxas's head exploded as that tongue moved in his mouth and he cried for it again. Axel broke away from him, the two panting hard staring into dazed depths. Twin smirks met in another hot kiss, this one longer and hotter than before. They didn't need anything else.. Roxas could easily get hooked on this mouth running down his throat, sucking the life from his chest down his stomach and lower. Explosions rocked his head as he was seized inside that mouth, screaming and moaning and crying for more.

Higher and higher he rose on that bathroom floor, the tiles bitter cool against heated, sweaty skin. He couldn't see, everything was a massive blur of pleasure. He didn't want to ever leave these feelings behind, Axel's tongue working him over in ways he never kew existed. He cried out when they mouth left to be pulled against Axel's now naked body, the whimpers and moans of need becoming howls and screams. He closed their mouths together and they bounced feverishly together, craving that edge, that sweet release, blanking away the pain and addiction from their minds. This was the only drug they needed. Each other and that wonderful thick heat slamming deep inside his tight body. They were alive again coated in each other's sticky desire, tasting his own salty seed on his tongue.

Axel held him close as they succumbed to afterglow curling up together on the cool floor. Neither spoke, their mouths dancing together spoke more words than there would ever be meaning for. No language could capture the mass of emotions that lingered in that kiss. More than Roxas knew existed. More than Axel cared to know. It didn't matter, nothing mattered... Nothing. They would come clean and they would know this every night.. Roxas slid off of Axel, coaxing himself to shaking legs to dress once more. He'd have to get another cup of coffee by now.. he wondered how it tasted. Axel took him by the ass and nudged him towards the door.

They emerged from the hall to find Reno wrapped in a coat held tight in Rude's arms. If looks could kill Axel would have been slaughetered by the intense hate boiling in Rude's eyes. The Turk wsa fiercly protective of his partner and didn't like Axel as it was. This wasn't the first time he'd assaulted Reno and that venomous glare belied Rude's truest desire to make it his last. Reno reached up to cup the cueball's face and kissed him passionately trying to deistract him from the other redhead before he did something violent. Rude kissed back quickly, never taking his eyes off Reno as the other went for coffee.

"I should be getting to work, partner.." Reno whispered gently, kissing the thick neck. "Tseng's gonna get pissed if I'm late again." Rude grunted in disapproval but released his friend to get dressed. He straightened himself up getting dressed and straightening his tie pulling on the trademark glasses. Reno came over and gently laced their fingers, basking in the softness his his lover's mouth once more before he headed out the door. Roxas couldn't help but smile, the two redheads exchanging a smile of apology before they left. Maybe things wouldn't be so bad after all.

"I'm going to go get the paper Ax. I'll be back." Roxas pulled a shirt on and headed out. Rude fell into step beside Roxas, the two winding their way down the stairs and outside. Rude sat down on the stoop, pulling a book out of his suit pocket to read. Roxas picked up the paper and leaned in to see what Rude was reading.

"Just a crime novel." he replied simply. "Waiting for Reno to come home. I don't go in today." Roxas smiled, such devotion was kind of adorable. He wondered if Axel would ever wait on him like that.

"You really love him, don't you?" Roxas sat down on the stairs next to the bald man. Rude clapped his book shut and sighed, nodding.

"I love him very much. I want to help him overcome his addiction but it's difficult when it's such a vital part of a relationship. I've learned to live with it." Something glinted in those darkn eyes, something that made Roxas instantly guilty. The same look Hayner had in his eyes.. the night he found out Roxas had no heart. Desperation.. confusion.. a cry for help. yet Rude took it far better rather than blowing up like Hayner had.

"I understand.." Roxas nodded. "Yeah.. I think I do."

"Do you love Axel?"

That was the big question. Did he love Axel? Or was this just desperation? Was this just his cry for help? he wasn't sure.. he didn't know either way. He did certainly care for the redhead, enough to want to help him end his alcoholic habits but.. Dammit, Roxas didn't know... Was he really falling in love all over again?

A low rumble down the road caught their attention, Rude rising when a long black car pulled up in front of the complex. He drew the pistol at his hip but not before the shot of a machien gun rang out through the car's window. Roxas dove for the ground, screaming when Rude's bloody body collapsed to the ground next to him. Oh god.. what he fuck was going on?! He scrambled to his feet and ducked inside, screaming as more shots rang out. Behind him the passenger door opened and out stepped none other than the proud don of the slums himself.

Xemnas.