AN: Thanks to everyone who reviewed and added this story to their alerts. Sorry that it took me so long but I started writing and kinda got stuck but seeing tonight episode just lit me back up and I finished it so YAY!!

Not the best chapter but something is something. The Chapters are all named after Spill Canvas songs.

Disclaimer: Don't own OTH or the Spill canvas lyrics

I think about the past what if I did things differently would I still be alone as everybody else seems to have found what they are looking for. One thing is for sure if I could change one thing I would not have let Sam leave.

What if I, lead a different life,
Would you stay, stay?
What if you, could only speak the truth,
what would you say, say?

Time doesn't wait for anyone.

"Sam SAM where are you?" I don't know what time it is and frankly I don't care I just want to find her.

"Brooke maybe we should go home it's 5 am and you are soaking wet and"

I don't let him finish because I see her sitting on the curb crying. Honestly I didn't know I could run in 4 inch heels that fast.

There's a part in everyday,
where I lie to myself and say that it's okay.
'cause if I don't I think I'll go insane.
But the truth is, I only have myself to blame.

"It's okay"

"What is Brooke"

"Everything" I pause "she's home" I put my hand on his arm I want to thank him but he smiles that cocky smile and says "you're welcome" and leaves but not before kissing my cheek.

"It's okay" maybe if I keep saying it I'll start to believe it.

Explain to me how you're so damn naive,
think I don't see, see.
Forget what I said you're only good in bed
or on your knees, knees.

She thinks that I believed her when she said everything was okay but we both know better. From what I read in Luca's book she is good on having that façade of faking that everything is okay when deep inside it's not. Yeah she is definitely good at that and from what I read she is good at other things I smirk but I can't do that because like Peyton, she only has eyes for Lucas.

Time doesn't wait for anyone.

There's a part in everyday,
where I lie to myself and say that it's okay.
'cause if I don't I think I'll go insane.
But the truth is, I only have myself to blame.

Sam is still in bed her chest rising and falling. I didn't ask her what happened because she said she was okay but she might not be my daughter but we have something in common we both pretend to be something we are not and that's okay.

As I go to bed to try to fall asleep all I can think is that maybe someone can see through my BS and call me out on it but as time goes by that hope diminishes.

Time doesn't wait for anyone.

There's a part in everyday,
where I lie to myself and say that it's okay.
'cause if I don't I think I'll go insane.
But the truth is, I only have myself to blame.

I try to fall asleep as the sun is coming up but all I can think about is how come no one can see the real Brooke the one begging for help. I want to be the one that helps here but I'm not going to be that guy I did that once with Peyton and where did it get me nowhere just heartbroken.

"I'm not that guy and I'm okay with it."

There's a part in everyday,
where I lie to myself and say that it's okay.