Antina sits, for a moment, absolutely overwhelmed with thought. Jack, who seems to have gotten over his initial shock, takes the opportunity to come up behind Antina and speak directly into her ear.
JACK
Now, darling, you remember me, right? Those memories'd last a lifetime. Even one as long as yours is turning out to be. Come now; don't tell me you've forgotten Captain Jack Sparrow--I is darn right unforgettable.
In one furious, smooth motion, Antina reaches down and magically pulls out a pistol, which she presses against his right temple with conviction.
Jack turns his head confusedly, then jolts, surprised to be staring a at double barrel shot straight between the eyes.
ANTINA
Nice of you to come visit, Captain. Now do you have an actual ship, or are you just pretending, like you did for all those past years- and more recently too, now that I think about it, for did you not try to outwit a deal with the sea devil himself, and prove to be rather unsuccessful? For as I'm told, you were aptly devoured and had to be rescued by an assortment of individuals who seem to have little or no good sense, or they'd have left you dead. But that's just what I've heard, anyway. I'm more interested in hearing your rosy side of the tale.
Jack, preoccupied with planning his escape, gives an openly honest answer.
JACK
You seem to have got it about right, actually.
Sarcastically, and exchanging her former calm for a sort of mania, she begins to cheerily direct Jack.
ANTINA
Lovely! Now up we go, now. (She stands to her full height, but Jack is still a bit hunched as to keep the pistol right on target.) I have things to do now, luv. Can't keep standin' about letting time run away. Did that once--I ended up lettin' the place run itself into the ground for seven months. Straight.
Jack is trying to remain pleasant and conversational, but as always while with Antina, he has a quite different motive. Saving his life is really his central issue, and as he glances about for an escape, she subtly notices.
JACK
Fascinating, now what could you have possibly been doing for all that time then?
Antina begins to move sideways, and Jack stiffly follows suit. This time, she knows exactly how to handle him.
ANTINA
Why, a variety of activities. (She picks up an already dirty rag and begins to rub it on the table.) I'm sure you can use your extensive imagination to- (she pauses, amused) well, imagine!
Laughing at her own joke, she exudes the clever air Jack usually possesses, as he seems to lack it.
JACK
Why your vocabulary has immensely grown since our last encounter, my dear. Quite impressive indeedy.
Tired of this bantering, Antina drops the cloth, spins about 360 degrees and thumps the double barrel against Jack's chest.
Appearing furious, but still with an almost playful quality to her actions, she yanks another, identical, pistol out of a pocket in her plain, modest black dress laced all the way up to her neck with her other hand and presses THAT one against his LEFT temple.
Still distinctly uncomfortable with all this, Jack begins to defend himself, but a brisk thump silences him.
Frustrated now, with the turn, Antina's mood has changed accordingly. She now is a bundle of stressed nerves.
Jack wonders what's gone so wrong.
ANTINA
How can you, you, you, Jack Sparrow, jus stand there, like nothing ever, ever happened? You have destroyed my life, you have. And I have the sense, like my sister did have the sense, but I have a little, that you need a favor. A favor! (She begins to rant now, backing Jack into a wall with a series of sound thumping on his chest with the pistol.)
You have absolutely no authority over me no more. None! Never did! I never needed you, or nothing. I have already done you a good favor by giving you a solid chance to share my life, but you didn't. (Jack hits the stone wall with a bump.) Instead you… (She prompts him to fill in the blank.)
JACK
Stole it?
ANTINA
(Admittedly)
Yea, yes, you did.
She relaxes for a moment.
As Jack begins to hesitantly inch out of her reach, without looking up, she snaps the left hand right into the middle of his forehead.
ANTINA
(wistful now)
Aye, now look at my hand. How mottled, and uneven the skin tone's become. Work.
JACK (FED UP)
Alright, my dear, I see that your speech has become undeniably and unforgettably expansive, but, if you don't want to be of any assistance, and pardon me, but you don't seem as if you do, then I'll jis be on my merry way then. Adios, hope not to see you soon then. (To himself) And we're off!
He grasps hold of the pistol in his face and pushes it away, and shoves it into Antina's chest, where he presses for a moment as they stare at each other displeased. He lets go, and makes the move to go off again, until Antina, not forcibly, grasps his arm and leans in to speak.
ANTINA
You win.
JACK
What?
ANTINA
Well, you told me that there were only 2 things involved with marriage, and that that was a winner and a loser. I admit it: you win. You're the famous pirate, or, in Spanish, la pirata muy famosa.
JACK
(unconcerned)
La, isn't that on the front end of words that in all them languages mean they're a bit, uh, feminine-a?
ANTINA
Yes. And you're acting more like a lady than ever before, so I'd say it fits. Quite nice, how things work out, isn't it? (Pleased, she pauses, until the cheerful expression melts off her face with a realization) Wait… (She looks up at Jack) This place is on nary a map. You'd have to in quite a predicament to wash up here…but…my sister give you her compass. Which also means you must really want to be here…though the island's on nary a map either.
JACK
(Not sure where this is headed, but determined to use whatever it is to his advantage) Indeed she did, but years ago. And here's not exactly what I'd had in mind.
ANTINA
(ignoring him)
And if she did, than that must mean she left the island, because if you found that, I doubt you would have needed to come here.
JACK
Which island are we talking about exactly?
Antina is now fully speaking for her own benefit, giving no attention to Jack's running commentary.
ANTINA
Then the rumors must be true…that she was possessed by Calypso.
JACK
Oh, that island. Or is it the other?
ANTINA
(Plowing on)
(she turns to stare out of a dirty bay window across the room, to see the rowboat, in it's dilapidated current state)
Whose…ship is that out there?
(not a question)
Yours. Let me guess. The Wench's lost.
The shadow plays upon her face more now, and the age doesn't truly show, but the disappointment that flickers past does.
Jack seems to have caught her somber mood, unable to keep up a flippant banter if she isn't talking.
ANTINA (much quieter)
I was almost sorry for you there, for a mo'. Lucky it passed.
Antina closes her eyes and considers for a moment what to do. Knowing better than to move, Jack stays put, but looks about with angst, waiting for the verdict.
Slowly, and with much resignation, Antina rolls open her eyes.
ANTINA
I suppose…I can find out a little more without killing you… first.
Jack instantly revives, relaxes, and takes a celebratory swig from Fuego's bottle.
JACK
Excellent! Where to begin, where to begin…
He takes her elbow and leads her to one of her mismatched tables. Sitting down himself, he gestures for her to sit as well.
Antina complies, but first beckons for Kit to come to. He
eagerly dashes to her and climbs clumsily into her lap. She gives him an affectionate peck on the top of his head, and begins finger combing his hair. At the same time, she looks up at Jack, as to encourage him to begin.
He does, by clearing his throat nosily and decisively placing his bottle on the table's worn mahogany surface.
JACK
Antina.
ANTINA
Jack!
JACK
(Awkwardly)
You, well, remember where you come from, don't you?
ANTINA
How could I forget? I have spent quite some time there. Needs to be getting back, I do, for last time I went, must have been-
(scrunches up her face in thought)
'bout 212 years ago. (Reminiscently) That must be why you're here…you wanting a favor, don't you luv? (To Kit) Knew it. Directions?
As Kit giggles at his mother's joke, Jack looks at the boy studiously.
JACK
He, uh, your boy?
ANTINA
(Joking)
Yes, of course.
JACK
What?!
ANTINA
No. Don't worry yerself. The day I bear a child, a hole would open up in the Earth and jus' eat me. I, er, found him. All alone he was, floating about off the coast of France. Still haven't determined what he is, exactly. Certainly isn't French, for he's much too friendly. That lot wants nothing to do with me. Shame really.
She enjoys a laugh while Jack just sits, uneasily watching. She seems to realize how ridiculous the notion is that she would actually have a child, but Jack has not come all this way to make jokes. Rather, to make deals.
JACK
Look, I apologize for any things I might have done in the past.
ANTINA
How generous of yeh.
JACK
But- that is the past. And I'd like to take the opportunity to- (pause) start afresh.
ANTINA
So you'd like to let bygones-
JACK
(agreeing)
-Be bygones, yes.
ANTINA
(feigning confusion and innocence)
You'd like me to forgive you, so that you can start all over and steal my money all over again? I'd love to oblige, Jack, but I haven't got any anymore. Dreadfully sorry.
JACK
Nonononono, not at all. I'd like to be offered the hypothetical chance to steal the hypothetical money and not hypothetically take said chance and not hypothetically steal it. You know, hypothetically.
ANTINA
Such a way with words.
KIT
IN-deed!
Antina turns to Kit, whom she's been ignoring for the last bit as if he weren't on her lap at all, and suddenly becomes stern.
ANTINA
Hush up, you! (Smacks him, though with little force) Sorry 'bout the mouth on him.
JACK
(shrugging)
You raised him.
ANTINA
Admittedly. So you want me to take you? To the island, I'm assuming, though, that's not always the best way to go about things.
Jack takes a breath as if to answer with a resounding yes, and then takes a precautionary pause.
JACK
I would answer yes, but it does depend on if we are still thinking of the same island.
ANTINA
(chuckling)
Why, the Isle de Vida, the Island of life. I heard, just heard, mind you, that you've already been to the Isle de Muerta.
JACK
Heard right, did you. From who?
ANTINA
(ignoring his question)
Fancy it?
JACK
Not really. I'm not a fan of the cursed, evil-y kind of treasure. I prefer the sort I can pilfer without such… noticeable results.
ANTINA
Well, that's not what you're going to find on Isle de Vida, rest assured. And it's a long journey from here, I'm not sure your lil' boat can make it. And I'll have to bring Kit along, because I loves him, and, um, we can set sail as soon as I find someone to watch the place. All right?
JACK
Wait, are you offering to actually take me? Thought it would take much more-
ANTINA
Groveling?
KIT
Begging? Apologizing? Beating?
JACK
(to Kit)
Persuasion.
ANTINA
Well, normally it would take more of all of them, but I…I've just been trapped on this rock for so long now…I needs to be getting back home anyways. Time's almost up.
JACK
Lovely! And don't you be worried; we'll find our fair bit of treasure in our own right. (He leans back into his chair and pauses for a second) You know, your sister-
ANTINA
(Interrupting)
Half sister, really.
JACK
Yes, her. Well, she had quite a few items…worth pilfering, even if you did have to put yourself in a fair bit of danger to…well, you know. Pilfer.
ANTINA
(irritated)
How many times must I tell you? You never met my sister! You met that godforsaken sea witch!
She stands up, and as she does, Kit is shaken off her lap.
ANTINA
(con't)
Go get whatever it is you own ready to leave, Kit. (Kit, scurries off) And you, Jack Sparrow, your thick head is proving quite irritating. My sister? She musta left the isle before your grandfather learned to walk, and almost immediately after taken by those stupid pirates and shoved out of her own skin. I doubt sincerely you ever met her.
JACK
Why exactly did they choose Tia Dalma?
ANTINA
(With a sigh)
A goddess ain't just going to accept being placed in any old body. They needed one that was less destructible…or else she would simply drown herself and let herself go back to being goddess-like and whatnot. Goddesses do have a fair bit of practicality.
JACK
I see.
(Pause)
Well, best not to dilly in the past.
(Gets up)
We have a future to make, m'dear.
As he walks past he, towards the door, Antina catches his shoulder and pulls him back.
ANTINA
Not so fast. I have to get someone to watch the place. And we need to wait for Kit.
JACK
(rolling his eyes)
We can't bring the boy along.
ANTINA
He's my boy, thank you very much. I'll take him where I please to take him.
Jack shrugs his shoulders and gestures in an "oh, well" manner.
As Antina rolls her eyes in disgust, she notices Zelda Marie, who is flirting with a customer who looks as if he would prefer if she left him and his drink alone.
ANTINA
(con't)
How about this: I bring Kit, you get Zelda.
JACK
What?
ANTINA
I'll bring her along too. You can stare as much as you want, I swear.
JACK
(with a grin)
Deal.
ANTINA
Deal.
They slap their hands together in a strong handshake. Both have a triumphant look on their face like they've outwitted the other into making a very bad deal.
ANTINA
Let me get her, then.
Antina walks over to the bar where Zelda stands and beckons for her to come close.
ANTINA
(whispering)
That man over there?
ZELDA
Si, your friend?
ANTINA
Yes, him. He think you very pretty.
ZELDA
Really? That is good.
ANTINA
(startled, in normal tones)
What? Why? Look at him.
ZELDA
Well, I've always wanted children.
Antina's mouth opens, but she is to taken aback to speak. This is not going according to plan.
ANTINA
You-you can't have children with him!
ZELDA
Why not?
ANTINA
(truly flustered)
Because he's mi-married. And too old for you anyway.
ZELDA
To who? Is he married?
ANTINA
No one important, it's just your conscience will die if you do something that bad.
ZELDA
(placing a hand over her heart)
Oh.
ANTINA
Anyway, we're all going on a trip, and you are coming.
ZELDA
All right.