Chapter Six: The Second Trimester

You are the same to day that you are going to be five years from now except for two things:
The people with whom you associate and the books you read.

Charles Jones

Jack all but pouted when Ianto declined his invitation to accompany him to the market. "Ianto, you've been cooped up in here for three months… come on…" he tugged at the younger man's hand.

The Welshman refused to budge. "I have not been 'cooped up'," he insisted obstinately. They went for a walk through the park every day; they fed the ducks. Well… they weren't really ducks, but close enough. Some sort of small water fowl that ate bits of bread right out of their hands before happily returning to the little pond to swim around and wait for the next sucker to come along.

"Going the park and walking around aimlessly isn't the same thing as going out."

"Well what is it then?"

Jack heaved a sigh. "Going out means getting out of the apartment… and not just to go to the park. It means going somewhere…"

"Since when is the park nowhere?"

"I'm serious," Jack settled his hands on his hips. "You never want to go anywhere with me." He stopped a moment. He thought he knew why Ianto didn't want to go anywhere, but what if there was another reason?

He had first noticed the little bulge under his belly button a couple of weeks ago. He'd been trying to hide it by switching to trousers with elastic waist bands and baggier t-shirts, but Ianto had noticed it last night when they were going to bed. He remembered the look on his Welshman's face… he'd tried to ignore it. He wasn't ready for this. He wasn't ready to show. But it was just the way the male body was built, men started showing sooner than women.

This morning Jack had woken up to find Ianto already out of bed. He found him on the balcony, just staring out at the city. When Jack had wrapped his arms around him, he hadn't responded quite as warmly as he usually did… "I'm doing this for you, you know."

The younger man blinked, clearly not understanding what had come over his partner (although obviously something had. Jack had gone from pouting, to mildly perturbed, to genuinely upset.)

"I just… I know this is weird for you. I don't… I wish I knew what you were thinking when you look at me like that." I don't want you to start looking at me differently… he thought desperately in the younger man's direction. He wanted to give Ianto 'normal', but he felt as if he was failing miserably.

"It's not weird. Well… all right, it is weird," he admitted. He couldn't lie, not when Jack was looking at him like that. "But that doesn't mean it's not beautiful. It is beautiful, Cariad. You're beautiful." He moved in closer, resting one hand on the little bulge. "In there is something beautiful."

Jack laid his hand over his partner's. "Are you sure you really feel that way?"

"Of course I am. Jack… Cariad… I love you. I love it that you're willing to do this for me. For us. I'm not… ashamed… or embarrassed by the way you look. I think you look amazing."

"Then why won't you go anywhere with me?"

"I have everything I need right here."

"You need to get out… "

"Why are you making such a fuss over this?"

"We've been here three months and you won't even go to the grocery store and that's not like you. You have to have realized by now that you fit in just fine…"

Ianto sighed. He had figured that out. No one looked at him funny when they walked through the park. No one treated him like some sort of gumby three thousand years out of his time at the clinic. The few neighbours that he'd run into all seemed nice. "Jack, why should I get to know anybody? It's not like I'll ever see them again. I'm dead in this time, remember?"

Jack shifted so that his hands were resting on the younger man's arms. "You're not dead. You're right here. You're alive and there's a whole world out there…"

"Jack, please. I don't want to meet people, make new friends only to vanish out of their lives again. It's not fair."

Jack broke his gaze.

"What?"

"I never thought about it like that," he admitted. All that time travelling with the Doctor… swanning into people's lives… disappearing… leaving, like the Doctor had left him. "But you can't stay holed up in here all day, either. There's so much to see here… let me show it to you… let me share it with you. We'll probably never have a time like this again in our lives. Shouldn't we make the most of it?"

He swallowed… looked out the window. It was a gorgeous day…

"Just come with me to the market, Sweetheart. You don't have to get all chummy with the check out girl… although she is kinda cute," he flashed an impish grin.

Ianto chuckled; he suspected that had been the idea. "You're pregnant and yet you're still flirting with everything that moves…"

"There are some people who find a pregnant man sexy, you know."

Ianto's snicker turned into a full blown laugh.

Jack pouted, although he was having a hard time not laughing too… whenever Ianto laughed, it always made him want to laugh along, even if he was the reason for his partner's amusement.

"I'm sorry," Ianto said at last, recovering himself. "But that is just the last thing I ever expected to hear anyone say."

"Well it's true. I am very sexy," he struck a little pose.

Ianto laughed all the harder. "All right, I'll go out with you. If nothing else I don't want other people getting the wrong idea."

"And what would that be?" Jack asked with a mischievous smile… but what Ianto saw in his eyes was genuine… longing. For all his teasing, he really was self conscious about the way he was starting to look.

Ianto leant forward and pressed a soft kiss to his partner's lips. "I'd hate for anyone to think you were available," he said. "Because you are sexy, Jack."

"You really think so?"

"I know so."

…………………………………………………………….

Instead of the grocery store, Jack decided he wanted to go to an outdoor market near the outskirts of town; it was too far for him to walk comfortably in his current condition (he was not used to being tired all the time), but he convinced his partner that the public transit system was perfectly safe.

"It's not the tram I'm worried about," Ianto told him. "I remember you trying to navigate the transit system back home."

"I've done this a dozen times since we got here," Jack assured him. "And the only reason I had a hard time that one time back home… one time," he emphasized, "was because I hadn't taken a bus in Cardiff in over fifty years. They'd changed the routes…"

Ianto just rolled his eyes and allowed himself to be shuffled into the train… it seemed to run on some sort of narrow magnetic track that dipped down to street level to allow people to get on and off, then rose again, above foot and motor vehicle traffic. The cars had high, wide windows, allowing for a panoramic view of the city.

Ianto had to admit, it was a lovely ride. The city was clean. White. There were hanging gardens… fountains… they passed through a huge circle of statues… men and women, looking grand and officious. Jack told him they were the founding fathers of the settlement… although the sprawling city hardly seemed to qualify as a settlement in Ianto's mind.

He wondered how long people had been here, but decided not to ask… it was probably the sort of thing everybody knew.

"There's the library," Jack pointed to a large building off to their left. "Maybe tomorrow we can go…"

"I hardly think I should go to a library, Cariad." Jack had expressed his concern about Ianto reading too much history while they were here.

"You've almost read through everything you brought with you."

"I'm sure I can find something on the computer." He could, in fact, download nearly any book he wanted to.

"Come on… it could be fun…we could make out in the stacks…"

"Do you think we could worry about tomorrow, tomorrow?"

"All right," Jack relented. "I just don't want you spending the next nine months holed up in the apartment with nothing to do."

"I'm sure after the baby comes I'll have plenty to occupy my time," he said, although he hadn't meant it to sound quite so sour. A quick look at his partner revealed how much the words had stung.

Jack covered it up quickly, however. "We both will," he put his arm around the younger man's shoulders.

"I know. I really do." He leant in… Jack met the kiss half way. "You're going to be a fantastic father to this baby, Jack."